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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.

SOCK IT TO ME BABY!!!

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

The latest from Martin World News

I'm actually going to lead this one off with a joke, which will lead into a couple of stories from the lovely French Republic.  The joke was part of a friend's Facebook post on looming war with Syria and France's announcement of being "willing to punish Syria" for their use of Sadaam Hussein surplus poison gas (innit funny how we people who "hate Obama for no reason" and aren't convinced that GW Bush was a total idiot have been proven right about where those WMDs went?).  The joke read, "French military surplus rifles:  Never used, dropped once".



In what has to be one of my slicker segues, the latest example of French  resolve seems to be the battle vs... er... wolves in the south of the country...

"In France, no one knows how to hunt wolves!" cried Laurent Cayrel, head of Var prefect in Provence, as he met with sheep farmers recently. Cayrel proposed that local authorities call in experienced hunters from the US and eastern Europe to try to stem the rising number of attacks on sheep. 
   
He may be joined by others in calling for armed intervention from hunters from across the pond if the so far fruitless attempts by locals to kill the wild animals continues for much longer.
 
Not a single wolf was killed during a recent 150-man hunt to cull the animals in the nearby military camp of Canjuers, in Provence where up to 80 percent of all wolf attacks in France have taken place. The military allows farmers to let their sheep graze on the plateau in Provence, which houses western Europe's biggest military training ground. 
 
And a plan to cull 24 of the predators in the region has so far only resulted in one dead wolf and one injured one.
    
 Other regions in France have also seen a surge in wolf attacks on animals recently . Europe1 reported that attacks in Mercantour National Park near the Italian border have gone up by 18 percent in one year, while farmers in nearby Drôme region say more than 2,200 animals have been slayed in the past twelve months - three times as many as the year before.
 
"It is impossible to defend ourselves," Drôme farmer Jean-Pierre Royannez told Europe 1. "We've tried everything without success. The wolves adapt, the attacks are multiplying and today no one has any control over the situation."
 
"This will mean the end to cattle farming in many areas across all of France," the exasperated farmer added.  (This story and next from France Local)
 
 
Moving on from the travails of the French citizen-soldier, there was also the tragic story of three little kids apparently abandoned by their parents.  Last Wednesday, the younger two, 2 months and 2 years old, were dropped off at their respective nannies... but never picked up.  Two days later, a six-year-old daughter showed up at her nanny's house alone, apparently sent via taxi by good ol' mom.  Yesterday, we finally found mom and dad... and guess where they were...



...that's right, the sun-soaked beaches of Marseille, where dad had just gotten picked up for smoking a joint.

According to Le Parisien newspaper he said he couldn’t understand why he was in trouble because “he had left his kids with their nanny.”  Next time, you might wanna leave a forwarding address...


Next up, let's check out Liberia, and their perfect education record...(Courtesy BBC)


Liberia's education minister says she finds it hard to believe that not a single candidate passed this year's university admission exam.
Nearly 25,000 school-leavers failed the test for admission to the University of Liberia, one of two state-run universities. The students lacked enthusiasm and did not have a basic grasp of English, a university official told the BBC.

Liberia is recovering from a brutal civil war that ended a decade ago.

President Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, a Nobel peace laureate, recently acknowledged that the education system was still "in a mess", and much needed to be done to improve it.

Many schools lack basic education material and teachers are poorly qualified, reports the BBC's Jonathan Paye-Layleh from the capital, Monrovia.However, this is the first time that every single student who wrote the exam for a fee of $25 (£16) has failed, our reporter says.

It means that the overcrowded university will not have any new first-year students when it reopens next month for the academic year.

Students told him the result was unbelievable and their dreams had been shattered, our reporter adds.

Education Minister Etmonia David-Tarpeh told the BBC Focus on Africa programme that she intended to meet university officials to discuss the failure rate.

"I know there are a lot of weaknesses in the schools but for a whole group of people to take exams and every single one of them to fail, I have my doubts about that," Ms David-Tarpeh said. "It's like mass murder."

That's okay, they can move to Nigeria and Benin and become e-mail scammers!  Next up, how NOT to pack for vacation... (courtesy Moscow News)


Strange sounds coming from a parcel in Kirov led police to evacuate post office employees because of bomb fears, but the object inside the package turned out to be a self-pleasure device.
Around noon on Friday, employees of Kirov's Oktyabrsky district post office called the police after buzzing noises aroused suspicions, Interfax reported.
After everyone was evacuated to safety and the area was cordoned off, the police called the owner of the package, a Kirov woman who quickly decided that she did not want to mail it anymore.
When forced to open the parcel the woman revealed that its buzzing content was a vibrator.
The woman planned to take a trip and was sending the battery-powered device to herself after deciding against bringing it in her luggage, Moskovsky Komsomolets reported.
After the incident the post office returned to normal operations and sent the dildo on to its intended destination.
A police spokesperson thanked the post office employees for remaining alert.



So, to save herself from being a "suspected terrorist" at the Airport, she became a "suspected terrorist" at the Post Office.  Moral of the story:  remove batteries after use.


And finally, Laurie got to sit in on the Gang of Three at the Bark Park a couple evenings ago.  Here's some of how that went...


Scrappy and Vinnie... together again!

12 comments:

  1. And people say WE got problems. Well...we do, but at least we know how to kill wolves.
    My tasteless French joke: Why are there trees on the Champs Elysees?
    So the German Army has shade.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha HA! "Krauts in the drought", as Col. Hogan might say...

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  2. >>... we people who "hate Obama for no reason" and aren't convinced that GW Bush was a total idiot...

    He wasn't?

    That's certainly news to me!

    I have a whole lotta G.W. Bush quotes that would seem to prove quite the opposite.

    Hmmm...

    Maybe it's time for the American People to stop thinking in terms of "Either/Or" and more along the lines of... "BOTH!" (That's a lesson that I personally learned in 1994. I've been miserable ever since, but I haven't lost a single debate against a Liberal or a NeoConservative since then. There's much to be said for being miserable but unbeatable.)

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry, I can't call him a complete idiot... not when men like Obama, Carter, Axelrod, Mathews, (need I go on?) are so much better qualified.

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    2. And he passes to baton to Penwasser.....
      Olberman, Moore, Oprah, Colmes, Holder, Kerry, Gore, Clinton, Other Clinton, Sharpton, Jackson, Biden, Penn....wow, my typing fingers are cramping up.

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    3. Well, Biden is on par with G.W. Bush, but the rest of those people are NOT idiots (beyond the fact that some of them are idiotic enough to believe in Communism/Socialism in any form).

      What is happening in this country is NOT the result of idiots doing idiotic things. These people KNOW EXACTLY what they are doing; they are following a well-designed plan.

      G.W. Bush was selected because he was such a total idiot that he could be completely, utterly manipulated by "The Wizards Behind The Curtain" while fooling the Americonned People with his supposedly "conservative" persona.

      It takes a TOTAL idiot to say something like this:

      "THEY WANT THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT CONTROLLING SOCIAL SECURITY LIKE IT'S SOME KIND OF FEDERAL PROGRAM."
      ~ G.W. Bush
      St. Charles, Missouri; 11/2/2000

      Obama is a communist and a radical Muslim, but he's at least bright enough (not much, but enough) to know that Social Security is a Federal program.

      [And that's only one of countless Bush quotes I could post PROVING that he was a complete, absolute, total idiot. Not to mention a liar, a traitor, and an accessory to murder.]

      ~ D-FensDogg
      'Loyal American Underground'

      Delete
  3. With the popularity of some of those "tickle me Elmo" toys, I have encountered several toys that shake wriggle vibrate and make weird noises.
    Never thought to call in the terrorism police though
    Perhaps I should next time :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My first thought was, perhaps toys escape terrorism patrol because they don't look like bombs on an x-ray.

      My second thought was, maybe instead of a vibration, it was more of a low moan...

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  4. Chris:
    I think you're onto something w/ the Martin World News Network.
    (I'd subscribe in a heartbeat, if I haven't already by reading this)

    --The vibrator in the post...TOO damn funny!
    (and batteries CAN leak)
    --And I thought the ONLY thing that LIBERIA was good for was registering tramp freighters to carry illegal goods across the seas...
    --Aside from the RESISTANCE during WW2, France hasn't had much going or it...and your story PROVES that.
    --Love he French cartoon, too...LOL.

    Nicely done..
    Keep on reporting and do stay SAFE up there.

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    Replies
    1. I guess what they really need is a gestapo wolf so they'll fight back...

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  5. I don't think you really want to know how often "toys" and porn is shipped through the mail in the US.

    Just sayin'

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    Replies
    1. And still, none of it makes it to me...

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