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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.

SOCK IT TO ME BABY!!!

Monday, December 23, 2013

Martin World News

And now, bringing you the variety of stupid stuff from around the world, starting with:

ITEM:  My computer.  Just so blogger knows, I am SICK AND TIRED OF THIS:

  Everywhere you go on Blogger, no matter what I do, I get this.  The story is Blogger trying to fix compatibility issues with IE 11.  Except that I went beck to IE 10 (because 11 has its own issues)- as well as it says it's reading a "user.agent value" (whatever that is) of IE 9, which I haven't had in some time.  Once again proving, the more they upgrade something, the more dumb stuff gets thrown in the mix.

ITEM: Next stop, Mercer County, Ohio.

Yet another addition to the really dumb things I've pulled from the news in this county, from the deputy who left the scene where horses were loose on a road to phone it in, while a car hit one, killing the driver, to the (presumably) other deputy who left his police dog in the squad car without AC last summer until it dropped dead.  But at least this time, it wasn't a cop that did the stupidity.  According to WANE.com,
According to the Mercer County Sheriff's Department, the truck was stuck on Tama Road, between Stose Road and US 127. The driver of the vehicle, 57-year-old Dennis Bollenbacher, said the water had filled his truck up to the steering wheel.

So, Dennis, WHY then did you drive INTO it?  But the story goes on:

Bollenbacher said he would not leave the truck until it was towed.  Police told him he would be arrested if he returned to retrieve the truck before the water receded. 
“There was no reason to risk a tow operator in the water, it was bad enough that firemen had to be put at risk. We continually warn people not to drive through high water on the roadways, it is very frustrating. Thankfully, no one was injured," Sheriff Jeff Grey said.

ITEM: Next up, how about this thing with South Sudan?  It wasn't a year ago that the international community celebrated the willingness of The Sudan to allow this breakaway area independence.  Peace was forged in the wake of ethnic strife.  Or was it?  Now, supposed ethnic strife has broken out again between the tribe of the President and the tribe of the recently-fired Vice-President.  So, just how much dividing of the area is needed to bring peace?


For those of you that are historically challenged, look up "Austria-Hungary".

ITEM:         


Meet former USAF Major General Michael Carey.  The "former" part is that this dude, in charge of the USAF nuclear weapons codes, spent a tour of duty in Russia getting drunk, loudly telling tavern goers he saves the world every day, and hanging out with some very questionable ladies... two nights in a row.  When he was tried for the allegations, he became "flippant", and either conveniently or alcoholically forgot "substantial portions" of what had happened... although one thing he did they got on tape:

At a Russian-hosted lunch banquet on the first day of the nuclear security exercise, Carey gave a toast that included unspecified comments about Edward Snowden, the National Security Agency leaker who was in Russia at the time but had not yet been granted asylum. Moscow refused U.S. requests that he be returned to the U.S. The report said Carey's remarks were "not well received" by his Russian hosts.
My thanks for this story to the Moscow Times.  Also for this one:

ITEM:  Vladmir Putin has signed a new law to combat Russia's version of the illegal immigrant problem.  You see, over there, they make immigrants register in the city in which they are staying.  But, what actually happens...

The bill approved by Putin on Monday is part of a fight on so-called "rubber apartments," a term that refers either to apartments in which up to thousands of people are registered but do not live, or to dilapidated buildings that house large numbers of migrant workers in often unhygienic and overcrowded environments.

Migrant workers — like nearly all people on Russian territory — are required to register with local authorities in their city of residence.
In 2011, authorities identified 6,400 of these "rubber apartments," at which more than 300,000 people were registered, according to Interfax. These figures place an average of 46 people at a same address.

Which I find funny, because in the US of A, we try to ignore the laws requiring legalization (our version of registrations) and the illegals DO live 46 to a building!

ITEM: From The Local, "France's news in English", comes a list of the ten best French gifts to give at Christmas.  Here are some of the highlights:

-"SPORTS CALENDAR. Calendars always go down well at Christmas so if you are looking for something French for your sister, mum or grandmother then look no further than Les Dieux du Stade 2014, which features various French rugby and football stars in semi-naked poses. It is guaranteed to keep your mother-in-law quiet on Christmas day. The annual calendar is available at Amazon and if you don't like calendars, the players also come in the form of fridge magnets".  If you think I'm putting this picture on MY blog, "she don't know me very well, do she?"  But if you want an eyeful, click here.  I believe this will take you right to picture #8:if not, seek and you shall find.

- How about Eiffel Tower vibrators?

The company making them promises a "monumental sensation".  Could I make this stuff up?

- SCENTED UNDERPANTS. With micro-capsules of perfume embedded in their cotton fabric, these briefs release the sweet-smelling odour of musk and pear as soon as you start to sweat. Invented by the French company “Le Slip Francais”, these men's briefs are priced at €35(about $48), while a pair of scented boxers are slightly more expensive at €40 (about $55). They’re available to buy online and in a number of high street boutiques.

- Well, this one you gotta see:

Sugar coated crickets on chocolate.  YUM!


ITEM:  Then there's the article on the Japan Times site about the most memorable quotes of the year.  Among the highlights:

- Japanese officials advising the US military to have their men patronize the many legal "sex service businesses" (AKA whorehouses), a sentiment backed up by one Tobonobu Togasaki, manager of all-girl pop band AKB48:

 “The women are sex workers,” said Togasaki, who is married, when asked about whether he was engaging in affairs. “They are not amateurs. Is that adultery?”

Hmm... not adultery if done by a professional.  Like to get Phil Robertson's take on that one.


- In October, an elementary school principal within the Osaka Board of Education denied charges of sexual harassment by claiming he was emulating a British spy.
“These were actions like 007,” Yoshida wrote in a letter to the board. “To get information from female spies, I showed them affection.” He resigned later that month.

I'm not seducing women; I'm fact-finding.  Bill Clinton should have tried that one.

-In May, Hideaki Ueda, Japan’s envoy to the United Nations on human rights issues, told members of the U.N. Committee Against Torture in Geneva to “Shut up!” Ueda was responding to laughter heard within the committee after he had defended Japan’s judicial system. He resigned from his post in September.

From the article..
ITEM:  Somebody posted an article the other day on Facebook called "The 25 most flawless answers to wrong number texts".  Here's some of my favorites:




5 comments:

  1. Oh man, those wrong number texts
    were FU-UUU-NNY!

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

    ReplyDelete
  2. Chris:
    Good lord, and here I am working with a mish-mash of Google Chrome and IE8...and I never see that "prompt".

    Guess all this new software ain't what' it's cracked up to be...as usual.

    And where DO you dig all this stuff up?
    --Eiffel Tower vibrators...LMAO!
    (leave it to the French)

    --Former Gen Carey...we'd be better off with DREW Carey!
    --Sugar-coated crickets and chocolate..yeah, some things even I will not put in my mouth.
    --Rootin Tootin Putin does it again..."rubber apartments"?
    Thought it had to do with institutionalized mental patients renting a flat...LOL.
    (close)
    --And the USA needs to be involved with S. Sudan as much as we need ANOTHER term for Obummer!
    (that's NOT a thought, just so ya know)
    --That pickup in water story...totally idiotic.
    I'd just toss him a cable and tell HIM to secure it to HIS bumper and THEN we'll pull him out. Screw sending out firefighters in a raft, but I understand NOT having the truck block any roads after the water recedes.

    Amazing stuff...(scented undies...nasty)

    But, good for a laugh and a half.

    Stay safe (and humorous) up there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, it doesn't come up unless your machine downloads the IE11 update. As for the where:
      Eiffel Vibrators, sugar coated crickets, and scented undies (I scent mine too, just not in a good way) from, The Local- France;
      Rootin tootin Putin and scary Gen. Carey from The Moscow Times;
      South Sudan courtesy BBC World;
      And of course "idiot behind the wheel #6,789, 567 from WANE.com.

      Delete
  3. People just never cease to amaze me, Chris!!

    ReplyDelete