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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.


Friday, February 14, 2014

Time Machine week 107.

It's Valentine's Day, 1972... though I'm willing to bet most lovers celebrated two days ago, since I can think of better days to have a Valentine's day than Monday (which it was in '72).  In the meanwhile, John Lennon and Yoko Ono kicked off a whole week of co-hosting the Mike Douglas show:

In 1972, John Lennon and his wife, Yoko Ono, made a strategic and historic week-long guest appearance on the hit talk/variety television program The Mike Douglas Show hoping to get their counterculture message across to middle America. Day one, February 14, 1972, features John, Yoko, Mike Douglas, and comedian/actor Louis Nye making phone calls to strangers they pick at random out of the phone book. Douglas sings "Michelle," John and Yoko sing "It's So Hard" with the Plastic Ono Elephant's Memory Band, and guests the Chambers Brothers perform "By the Hair of My Chinny Chin Chin" and "This Little Piece of Land." Consumer advocate and activist Ralph Nader makes a guest appearance as well. Ono performs several performance art pieces including "Mend Piece (broken teacup)" and "Reach Out & Touch Someone in the Audience," in which Douglas and his co-hosts encourage the audience members to touch the person next to them. ~ Steve Blackburn, Rovi (from

And welcome to a Valentine edition of Time Machine (bring your own chocolate, I've got mine), in which we'll have:  a third round of "guess where the debut finished"; a rock-n-roll nun; another member of the "clergy" you might recognize; a new #1; and Chris's top 6 Valentine songs- and why!  Pop a truffle in your mouth, and let's go!
We have a fairly quiet week on the tops of the other charts this week.  Germany becomes our third nation to have Middle Of The Road's Sacramento hit #1, and that would seem to be the only international change, outside of Ireland returning The Men Behind The Wire to the top.  In America, Detroit still clings to I Gotcha at the top; Chicago is united behind Hurting Each Other; LA has Precious And Few;  San Diego, Down By The Lazy River; Minneapolis has promoted the instrumental Joy to the top; and American Pie remains on top in the Steel City.
We had 12 debuts, none of which I knew well enough to feature, which means....
Time to play "guess who finished higher!"  This time, though, I got real ambitious and tracked down where they ended up on the Cashbox charts (rather than getting the Billboard data off Wikipedia).  So here's how this goes:  I list in random order the twelve newbies to the chart.  You guess which one peaked the highest.  Winner gets- a Valentine internet hug!  Along with the admiration of the other readers, of course.  So, here we go:
Tell 'Em Willie Boy's A-Coming by Tommy James
Breaking Up A Home by Ann Peebles
Cheer by Potliquor
Waking Up Alone by Paul Williams
Glory Bound by the Grass Roots
Together Again by Bobby Sherman
White Lies by Grin (Nils Lofgren of Crazy Horse and the E Street Band)
That's What Love Will Make You Do by Little Milton
Taurus by Dennis Coffey and the Detroit Guitar Band
Good Friends?  by the Poppy Family
We're Together by the Hillside Singers
and Could It Be Forever-by David Cassidy.
Answers during the top ten countdown!  And now, onto the birthday tuneage.
Turning 30 this week, just one contestant- Hall and Oates' Adult Education.
Turning 35, the Jacksons with Shake Your Body (Down To The Ground), and Eric Clapton with Watch Out For Lucy.
Turning 40, Elton John with B-B-B-Bennie And The Jets, Gladys Knight und der Pipsters with Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me, and a Catholic nun from Adelaide, Australia named Sr. Janet Mead with her pop version of The Lord's Prayer.  I remember when this came out my nieces kept bugging me if I'd heard it.  Finally, another niece bought the 45- and the darn thing skipped!  Anyway, Sr. Mead became the second nun to have a top ten hit- after the Singing Nun who hit the top with Dominique.  Sister Janet is still a nun- unlike her predecessor, who tripped out, left the church, became a lesbian, and other hair raising things.
She's keeping the faith...
Turning 50 (sorry, no 45s), the DC5 with Glad All Over (I have a shameful admission:  I like to change the chorus to "I'm fat all over, so fat and wide..." in honor of a former boss), Fun Fun Fun by the Beach Boys, and the Four Seasons' cover of the Zodiacs' hit Stay.
Turning 55 we have three:  Frankie Avalon with Venus (I have a shameful admission: I occasionally turn Venus into... uh... never mind.), Since I Don't Have You by the Skyliners, and something that struck me rather odd;  an entry called Romeo And Juliet by "Deacon Andy Griffith".  Yes, that same Andy from Mayberry.  Apparently he did a comedy album, whose feature hit was a story I heard on my first airplane flight called What It Was, Was Football.  That 45 made it up to #9 in 1954...  but here's the one celebrating it's 55th birthday.

Our big mover this week is up in the top 40; the dropper, however, is at #62, after a 35-notch drop- The Hillside Singers with their version of I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing.

This week our 45 at 45 is on its way up.  David Ruffin, freshly fired from the Temptations, stops here in his second week with his first single solo.  It was called My Whole World Ended (The Moment You Left).  Originally intended for the next Temps' lp, it became the title cut (sans the subtitle) of his first solo lp.  He was backed on this by the Originals, best known for their 1970 hit The Bells... but perhaps more recognized as a backing group.  They backed Edwin Starr on Twenty-Five Miles and War, and Stevie Wonder on For Once In My Life and Yester-me, Yester-you, Yesterday.  The tune would carry him into the top ten... for the only time.

And that brings us near to the top forty.  But before we do, I decided to make a little tour of my memory banks for the songs I might associate with myself and Valentines Day... and I found six that fit the bill for me.  So hang on to your hats... 'cause here comes...

6.  Peaceful Easy Feeling- Eagles.  Once upon a time, I was trying to tell my good friend (you know who you are) that this song reminded me of a certain lovely acquaintance of ours.  For me, I meant that she wasn't the kind of girl that made me go all head over heels or get nervous around.  My friend cut into the lyrics and said, "You wanna sleep in the desert with her?"  I looked at my friend's brother, we gave each other a nod, and I answered, "Well, there IS that..."

5- God Only Knows- Beach Boys.  I dedicated this once to my (ex) wife.  Then I meant it.  Now it's more like, "A swing and a miss!"  Lesson:  Before you dedicate to love, make sure you know what it is.

4- Your Song- Elton John.  I once sang this to a girl.  Some years later, I asked her out and the answer was, "But people will talk..."  Yeah, not real good on judgment, was I?  So I went to the hockey game with her sister.

3- The Things We Do For Love- 10cc.  My first real high school crush got attached in my mind to this song.  I couldn't compete with either the senior she had a crush on- or Don Ho, whom she also had a crush on.  Two years later I remember laughing as a young mutual friend wrote her name in chalk down one leg of his jeans.  At least I never did THAT...

2- Top Of The World- the Carpenters.  There was one special girl all through grade school for me.  At the end of her freshman year she had a shotgun wedding.  Probably a good thing I never said anything.

1- This Guy's In Love With You- Herb Alpert.  First song I ever tried to dedicate to Laurie.  Never did play it that night, the rat.  Played it many times since.

Well... that was embarrassing...

...and onto the top 40 debuts this week.  First up, moving 6 spots to #40 is Jerry Butler (best known for his #4 hit in 1969, Only The Strong Survive) and Brenda Lee Eager (best known for being a later member of Jesse Jackson's Operation Breadbasket Choir) with Ain't Understanding Mellow.  Our week's big mover, up 24 places to #39, Neil Young- whose Harvest lp was released today in 1972- and Heart Of Gold.  Up nine spots to 38 is the only Joe Cocker song I ever liked- Feelin' Alright.  Elvis makes it into the 40 once again with a tune called Until It's Time For you To Go, climbing 5 to #37.  And from last week's six degrees, we have Melanie's The Nickel Song, also up 5 notches to #36.

The almost but not quite for this week has the Emotions' Show Me How falling from 33 to out of the top 40; Elton John's Levon falls from 17, 17 spots to 34; Gladys Knight yet again, with her latest, Make Me The Woman You Come Home To, tumbling from a peak of 22 to 25; and Charlie Pride slips a notch from his peak of 19 with Kiss An Angel Good Morning.

Three songs climb into the top ten; three must needs fall.  Those who fall are:  Clean Up Woman (4 to 12); Sunshine (5 to 16); and You Are Everything (10 to 28).

And now, who'd you pick for the winner of the "guess how high they charted" game?  Here we go...

Ann Peebles only got to 90.
Next were the Poppy Family at 74.
The Hillside Singers topped out at 73.
Then it was Little Milton at 71.
Grin was grinning because he stopped at 69.
Potliquor peaked at 64.
"Willy Boy" Tommy James peaked at 58.
Bobby Sherman was arrested at 53.
Then comes Paul Williams at 51.
The Grass Roots held up at 22.
How many of you took David Cassidy?  BZZZZZT.  He peaks at 15.

And that means, if you took Dennis Coffey's Taurus, you are a winner!  You get a car!  And you get a car!  See Oprah for details.  Restrictions may apply.

Damn right I beat that little punk Cassidy...

And now... the top ten...

Carly Simon, armed with her bottle of ketchup, comes up 4 notches to #10 with Anticipation.

The Osmond boys jump 7 spots to come in at #9 with Down By The Lazy River.

The flip side, the Jackson Five, sag a pair to #8 with Sugar Daddy.

The Carpenters, drawing a breath after their huge leap last time, climb but 2 to #7 with Hurting Each Other.

Harry Nilsson moves a big 5 to #6 with Without You.

Three Dog Night Has never been to... what?  I did that bit last week?  Fine.  Never Been To Spain is up 3 to #5.

Climaxx moves from 7 to #4 with Precious And Few.

Y'know, I always wondered why P&F and Badfinger's Day After Day were linked in my mind.  Probably because they are just ahead of them at #3 and holding.

Don McLean cedes the top spot for a second time this week, with American Pie once again back to #2.

Which means the new top dog is...

...Al Green, with Let's Stay Together!!!!!!

One last time, have a great Valentine's day, and we'll meet back here next week!


  1. Seems like the Beatles are everywhere, in one form or another. It's funny how shows like the Mike Douglas show were once staple items on TV. Now they are long gone. I guess everything has a season.

  2. Chris:
    Darn...McLean got the bump from #1...hadda happen sooner or later.
    I remember that week in Philly on the Douglas show (longest month we ever
    "Beach Boys "Fun (x3)" is FIFTY????
    Oh, I KNOW what you turn VENUS me...LOL!
    (I've "Yankoviced" it myself over the decades)

    Would have NEVER guessed the "how high they charted" artist and a million years!

    Carly and ketchup...ROFL! nice one.
    Love that Nilsson song (tear-jerker for me)

    Very nice heart-filled Valentine ride (even if the group HEART was never mentioned...)

    Stay safe up there.