Follow by Email

What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.

SOCK IT TO ME BABY!!!

Saturday, July 19, 2014

What I learned at Glenbrook Square Mall


1- The reason that Laurie doesn't come home with People of Wal-Mart stories from work is that Ft Wayne has People of Glenbrook Square instead.

2- I go to Sbarro's to get a double-crust pizza slice and two barely-comprehending Hispanic workers tell me "We don' have them."  Cross Sbarro's off my list.

3- The directories place conveniently around the place are severely out-of-date.  Reminded me of maps of the world circa 1300 AD.

4- Three of four anchor stores had men's wallets without all the features I wanted ranging from $28- $40.  Sears had a better wallet than the one I had for $18.  Go figure.

5- Kiosk workers have the single most boring job in Ft Wayne (now that most security is automated).  But that still doesn't mean I'm going to try a sample of face moisturizer to enliven your day.  Sympathy only goes so far.

6- Best way to deflect Kiosk salespeople?  Look at the person with you over your shoulder and keep walking.

7- A great way to attract people into a store (say a sports cap store) is to plaster all over the place signs saying "Clearance items 10-15% off", then have the customer wander all the way to the back of the shop (a real trick in a tiny store) to find a small display of said clearance items (say a 2X2 table with a dozen or so caps on it).  Just sayin'.

8- Six, count 'em six, jewelry stores INSIDE the mall- but spend two years harassing the Mike's Car Wash in the parking lot until they leave so you can tear it down and build a Jareds on the spot.  Think about that the next time you think you pay a fair price for jewelry.

9- Chik-Fil-A still in the food court, Burger Queen King gone.  Hmmmmm...

10- Dippin Dots now in a vending machine.


Totally unrelated, we saw a Kingfisher on the canal yesterday.





Noisy little bugger.


PS- just looked at my feedjit, and I must be on the list again.  Last night, Google (AKA "Simi Valley, California" ) was on my blog a total of 11 times in 26 minutes between 11 PM and 12 AM.  Hi, guys!

6 comments:

  1. >>... Chik-Fil-A still in the food court, Burger QUEEN gone. Hmmmmm...

    I think you had it right the first time.

    And how was the Kingfisher related to this blog bit?
    [Jus' jokin'.]

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

    ReplyDelete
  2. He's a noisy little bugger, like me!

    ReplyDelete
  3. 2nd try...kiosk people are the worst. Very annoying. I RUN by them and stick out my tongue.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I actually got the first comment LOOOOOONG after the second... Kept the second because you added the "stick out my tongue" bit. It's not safe to run in the mall, though- you could fall and land in a kiosk.

      Delete
  4. Chris:
    You must have KNOWN I needed a laugh (in a GOOD way, mind uou)...more about that on Monday';s blog...
    Anywho...LMAO at the Glenbrook Stuff...and here's why:

    1- They are a "breed" all their own. I concur!
    2- If you speak "illegal" as a SECOND LANGUAGE, it's not that bad, really.
    3- I ONLY read to directory there to keep tabs on what stores have ALREADY LEFT.
    4- I can get you a wallet for a LOT less...(trust me).
    5- Ask THEM a question you KNOW they could never answer (their educational level is ALWAYS a good one)
    6- I do the "thousand-yard stare" when I approach ANY kiosk...works every time.
    7- A "clearance" sign to me says TWO things:
    A- They got old stuff they wanna ditch
    B They already marked it up 5% MORE than the sale price.
    8- Hell, I'm STILL miffed over them losing KAY-BEE TOYS, READER'S WORLD, PAPERBACK BOOKSMITH, RUSTIC HUTCH, that KNIFE STORE, HALLMARK, and the DISNEY STORE!!
    9- CHIK-FIL-A: When you want good food served by ethical people who DO speak ENGLISH!
    10- Don't even want know what those are.

    Great kingfisher pics, too...didn't know we had them HERE.
    Cool.
    We have all got to go to Glenbrook sometime...be a REAL hoot.

    Stay safe up there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dippin' Dots? Tiny little dots of ice cream frozen in dry ice. They rock!- but the cost 3.75 a cup.

      Delete