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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.

SOCK IT TO ME BABY!!!

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Martin world news



ITEM:  Sometimes on these posts, a theme emerges, but I don't see the one here.  So let's just go from the bottom of my saved list up:

ITEM:  A Russian government entity has discovered the spreading agent for head lice- and you won't like it:

The selfie craze, where people cram together to fit into an arms-length photo, is the main reason for the spread of the parasites, according to the Kursk regional department of Rospotrebnadzor, a government body which advises on human well-being. Taking photos in such close quarters with another person's head means the lice can jump from one hairy home to another, it warns, noting that doctors have banned children with head lice from going to school.


Of course this department, roughly the equivalent of our dept. of sanitation, has a tendency to make pronunciations based on the political climate (i.e. banning food items from countries the government is mad at, on "safety" grounds).  And also some more bizarre pronunciations, such as this one from last year:

(The former head of the department, who had just been fired) also recommended avoiding sushi because of a risk of tapeworms and he proposed killing crows, which he described as feathered wolves, for allegedly spreading bird flu.


ITEM:  Well, there's a guy in Russia (since we're in the neighborhood) who rewally doesn't like decadent American celebrations- like halloween:

A Russian political activist has called on the government to ban public celebrations of Halloween, as part of a campaign against American influence.
Georgy Federov, a member of the Civic Chamber parliamentary scrutiny body, says people across the country have complained to him about "drunk youngsters dressed as corpses and monsters scaring decent members of the public on the streets". Celebrations in night clubs often "degenerate into orgies", he adds in a letter to Culture Minister Vladimir Medinsky, according to Izvestia newspaper. Referring to current "strained relations with the US", he says Halloween has been imposed on Russians and is foreign to their cultural traditions. "Some extremists use these 'holidays' for propaganda purposes... You need to launch counter-propaganda. We have our own traditional festivals, which at least do not run contrary to religious ethics and human morality," he says. Mr Federov suggests authorities could offer venues financial incentives "to stop decking themselves out with pumpkins and sham corpses". 


Q:  How do you use Halloween for propaganda?

A; Drunk guys in Obama masks passing out their cell numbers.


"...I  (urrp) luv ya, man..."
BTW, I'd like to find the night club were Halloween degenerates into an orgy.  In Ft. Wayne, they degenerate into shootouts...


ITEM:  Sometimes, the first line of an article doesn't really give you a true sense of an article... but is so good, you don't really care about the point trying to be made...


BEIJING, Oct. 20 (UPI) -- A giant robot dragon battled a giant robot spider at Beijing's Olympic Park to commemorate 50 years of diplomatic ties between China and France.



Wondering who's the dragon and who's the spider?  Are the diplomatic ties actually spider webs?  Is France run by Peter Parker?


I told you, ever since DeGaulle quit, there's been something wrong with that country... and NOW I know why!

Actually, this was a screwy way to combine "Chinese culture with French art."  Well, all righty, then!


ITEM:  Maybe there are themes at work.  For example, super-heroes as a menace:

LOS ANGELES, Oct. 22 (UPI) -- Video captured on the Hollywood Walk of Fame shows a fight between Mr. Incredible and Batgirl being broken up by Chewbacca, Where's Waldo and Freddy Kruger.
The footage, captured by production company FilmOn.com, shows performers dressed as Mr. Incredible and Batgirl struggling about 5 p.m. Tuesday in front of the TCL Chinese Theatre. Chewbacca, Waldo and Freddy soon join in the action and attempt to keep the brawling superheroes apart, but Mr. Incredible is able to punch, kick and throw Batgirl onto the sidewalk before the group was chased off by bystanders.


Sorry my screen catch didn't get Where's Waldo... he was trying to find a way to be helpful from a distance.

ITEM: And for those waiting for the zombie apocalypse, here's some breaking news from real estate website Trulia:

When the undead rise up, hitting the beach in zombie-free bliss will not be an option. Honolulu is ranked as the most appetizing city for hungry zombies.
Residents of Honolulu will make easy targets for the walking dead, what with the city's high walkability and lack of hardware stores (where there are potential zombie-killing weapons). Honolulu also has a high hospital density, making it easy for zombies to find weak victims, and it is extremely congested, with some of the worst traffic in the nation.
New York is number two on the list, followed by Newark, Boston, and Washington D.C.
Trulia calculated the survivability of the cities using the following criteria: highest walk score, lowest hardware store density, highest hospital density, and most congestion.




Washington, DC?  I thought zombies ate brains...


ITEM:  On the subject of lists, CareerBuilder surveyed employers and came up with the following lists of excuses to not come into work:


  1. Employee just put a casserole in the oven.
  2. Employee’s plastic surgery for enhancement purposes needed some "tweaking" to get it just right.
  3. Employee was sitting in the bathroom and her feet and legs fell asleep. When she stood, up she fell and broke her ankle.
  4. Employee had been at the casino all weekend and still had money left to play with on Monday morning.
  5. Employee woke up in a good mood and didn't want to ruin it.
  6. Employee had a “lucky night” and didn’t know where he was.
  7. Employee got stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store and couldn't get out.
  8. Employee had a gall stone they wanted to heal holistically.
  9. Employee caught their uniform on fire by putting it in the microwave to dry.
  10. Employee accidentally got on a plane.
Accidentally got on a plane, eh?  That reminds me...

ITEM:  TraveLodge surveyed its 500+ hotels in the UK, asking for the oddest room service requests.  Here are some of them...


Newcastle Central: "Can you tell me how many stars are in the sky tonight?"
Birmingham Airport: "Can I walk across the runway to get to the airport?"
Birmingham Moor Street: "I have lost my friend in the city centre - can you please go and find him for me?"
Cambridge Central: "Can you give me instructions on how to use the taps in your bathroom?"
Buckingham: "Can I walk to Buckingham Palace or do I need to take a bus?"
Ipswich Central: "How many beans are served in your breakfast?"
Lowestoft: "Does your pet policy cover reptiles? I never go anywhere without my 6ft long monitor lizard"
Derby Pride Park: "Do you have any rooms that I can clean? I like to clean"
Grantham A1: "My cat is bald - will she still be covered in your pet policy?"
Edinburgh Central Princes St: "Do the chips contain potato? I am watching my carbs"
Edinburgh Central Queen Street: " What time does the 1pm gun salute go off at Edinburgh Castle?"
Edinburgh Musselburgh: "Can you please store my lobster in your freezer?"
Brighton Seafront: "Can you stop the wind from blowing its spoiling my holiday?"
London Royal Park: "Do the royal family stay here often?"
Windsor Central: "Can you call Windsor Castle and find out if the Queen is in?"
Lutterworth: "What time does the 24 hour reception close?
Bournemouth: "I have brought a 24 hour car-parking ticket – how long does that cover me for?"
Newcastle Central: "Will your hairdryer make my hair longer?"
Leeds Central: "Can you stop the rain as its stopping me from falling asleep?"
Hastings: "Can the hotel team read and act a bed time story for my children?"
Dorking: "Do you offer a tucking-in service?"
Stafford M5: "Does my pet jaguar count as a cat in your pet policy?"
Edinburgh Central: "Can I borrow your suit as I have a big job interview and I have left my suit at home?"
Luton: "Can my boss be dropped by helicopter in the hotel car-park?"

And finally, the one that sparked my memories in the first place...

Gatwick Airport: "Does the plane pull up outside of the hotel or do you drive us to the plane in the morning for my flight to the Caribbean?"


Wait... do you take bus tokens?
ITEM:  We wrap this one up with the sad case of a man who got... er, less than he was expecting from a surgical procedure...


An Alabama judge has dismissed a second lawsuit filed by a man who says his penis was amputated during a circumcision gone awry. 
Circuit Judge Jim Hughey in Birmingham issued an order Wednesday throwing out the lawsuit filed by Johnny Lee Banks Jr, 56, and his wife against Princeton Baptist Medical Center and doctors he claims injured him.
It is the second lawsuit Banks has filed in the incident. Judge Hughey tossed Banks' original lawsuit in August. Hughey ruled it was not specific enough under Alabama's malpractice law.


Johnny hasn't given up, despite the fact his latest lawsuit has moved the date of the surgery from February to June...  But the hardest thing to believe is that his wife Zelda is also suing for "loss of consortium.  Why is that hard to believe?




Well, that's Johnny in the wheelchair... Perhaps it's best that we got no pictures of Zelda.


Okay, well thanks to BBC, UPI, HuffPost, and the Daily Mail for all the help.

2 comments:

  1. Chris:
    -- Who'da thunk Putin would even ALLOW lice in his country?

    --Holidays used for "propaganda"?
    (nah...never happen. It';s all about MARKETING and stick prices)

    --Can't figure out the CHi-COMS or the French...so, it makes sense that nonsense would result for any merger between them, robotic of otherwise.

    --Had a feeling when I saw most APPETIZING cities...LOL.
    And Fort Wayne isn't even ON the "radar" here (thank God).

    -- Those hotel "queries" lets us ALL know where a lot of peoples' PRIORITIES are...right?

    -- Heh, that circumcision story reminds me of that hospital I hurriedly left after I saw a sign outside of the wing which performed various "man bit" procedures that read:
    "NO TIPS!"

    "Loss of consortium"?
    Did someone misplace the syndicate again?

    Excellent post.

    Stay safe up there, brother.

    ReplyDelete