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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.


Thursday, November 20, 2014

Attention Wal-mart shoppers

This Black Friday and attendant days surrounding it, you will traipse off to the store, fighting over cheap toys, waving falsified ads at checkouts who have "no choice" but to sell you a $300 game system for $80, and pretending you are spending your holiday in some virtual game show.

While you are creating your mayhem across the countryside, Laurie gets to work.  Thursday through Sunday.  And with a TON of extra hours added on.  Why?

Because you are selfish simpletons who could care less if anyone enjoys life but you.  And because Wal-Mart is a selfish, greedy corporation, whose ownership is rich enough that they could care less that they could make twice the money that they will on Black Thursday/Friday just by paying attention to all the myriad ways they let themselves get screwed.

Wal-Mart at grass roots level is one of the three most mis-managed for-profits I have ever blundered across.  Their concepts of "training" and "communication" border on that of my last job (which makes its money nowadays by weeding out any Americans who might want to get paid for what they're worth and replacing them with illegals who could give a crap what they make as long as it buys booze and sends a couple bucks home to Mamacita).

But, at least THAT job let you have a happy holiday.

So, yeah, Wal-Mart is a bunch of greedy wretches who cannot embrace the concept that you might actually give an employee ONE miserable damn day off from Thanksgiving Day to the next Sunday.

But they wouldn't do it without you, the shopper who thinks that the perfect way to digest their turkey is to make some poor cashier tend to their insults, lusts, and warped sense of needs.

And before you give me the excuse I always hear- "Firemen, cops, and medicals work through their holidays, why should retail be special"- let me pop your bubble:

Your fracking Tickle Me Elmo is not life or death.  Nor is your "copy and paste" ad match, your EBT- purchased carton of cigarettes, or your wrong size blouse that must be exchanged IMMEDIATELY!

(Sighs.  Clears throat.)

That said, may you have a happy and blessed Thanksgiving Holiday.  Hope the coals are as hot as Proverbs 25:22 claims.


  1. I will NOT be out there with the crazy shoppers.

  2. Quick question, CW-

    Does Laurie have to work?

    Everyone I know in retail who works the holidays (not a huge number of people, mind you) wants the extra pay (double time?), and indicates that if they were to pass on the shift, someone else would readily take their place.

    Has Laurie asked for the time off and been denied it? It sounded like it, considering your description of additional hours.

    I guess AZ just has more people willing to work those shifts-we do have a fair amount of immigrant labor to whom Thanksgiving probably has less meaning.

    I never bother with the sales-saving the money would be nice, but the one I tried to go to (a Best Buy sale) had a huge line at 5 am...there's nothing I need that badly.

    Although independent record stores get Black Friday exclusive items, and I usually stop by my local Zia Records, but keep driving if the line is more than 25 people (the exclusives are very limited in number).

    Maybe we should have the firemen, cops and medicals stop on their way in and pick us up the Tickle Me Elmo dolls....they're up anyway!


    1. 1- This is the schedule Laurie has been given. Whether she has people willing to work any of the hours IDK, but from her asking around, it sounds like everyone on her shift is getting the same "all hands on deck" treatment. Last year was a lot better, but was her first season there. This year, I wondered if it was a "well, she's stayed here this long, we can scrwew with her and she'll be quiet" thing, but sounds like everyone at her store's in a similar boat.

      2- No, she's one of those grumble outside, smile when it's happening types. I told her to ask management about the concept of "how about one miserable GD day of the weekend off," but I'm not really expecting her to.

      3- That's the thing about this world... no body gives a damn about family or holidays anymore. All about the $. The point is- they shouldn't be ASKED to work a holiday IMHO- and they are asked because a lot of people who have no clue what Christmas is about want to spend a free day off shopping for Christmas.

      4- Honestly, I wish they could have a day off as well.

    2. I certainly do not know first hand-all anecdotal, but the friends I am thinking of (who I've lost touch with over the last couple of years anyway) always made it sound like there was competition to get the holiday shifts.

      That said, I do not believe either of them were WalMart (one I am certain was Target, the other I thought was a supermarket).

      While I do not object to the stores being open on Thursday I think it's a shame that people cut short their family time for the sales.

      There comes a time when the family is not the same-your parents pass, your kids get older, people move-the time you get with them is precious.

      But I am a capitalist at heart-I do not blame the stores-I blame the shoppers. If no one showed up, the store would close.

    3. I'm still a capitalist at heart, but it looks like stores are opening at 5pm Thursday-is nothing sacred?

      The football game will still be on!

      Heathen bastiges!

      Hey-maybe I can skip dinner with my friends and score me a Tickle Me Elmo!

  3. We are still one of the few states that mandates closing for Thanksgiving. So I will not be there on Thursday. I MIGHT venture out on Friday, simply because for the first time since I was TWELVE (minus maybe two years in there when the kids were babies and I couldn't leave the house) I have the day off.

    Having always worked retail in some capacity, I feel Lauire's pain. But rest assured, there will be no trampling, cussing, or fist fighting by this girl... maybe some people watching and if it's still available, some mattress toppers for the kids. But no fist fighting.

    1. And here I thought YOU were the only good thing about your state ;) . I would have no problem with that set up. I have no doubt you will not trample or fist fight... keep me posted on the cussing!

    2. And just for the record, if the stores were open on Thurs, I would not go. There's just some days you should be home.

      And if I stumble on anything good, I'll be sure to have Oldest upload a video clip. Lord knows I have no idea how to do it. :)

  4. Chris:
    I'm definitely of the crowd that believes that working ON Thanksgiving is blasphemous, and I know your angst over this.

    I had positions where I had to be on call on EVERY holiday, and you cannot enjoy YOURSELF (or the family) under such duress.
    With that said, I think you covered all the bases regarding the "spirit" of the holidays very well, end especially from the standpoint of one who STILL: knows that the holiday season REALLY means.
    --DC made a good IS the shoppers...THEY are the reason things are the way they are.
    It's not about capitalism as it is about human greed.

    Stay safe up there, brother.

    1. Unfortunately, the greed is a sickness shared by capitalist and consumer these days.