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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.

SOCK IT TO ME BABY!!!

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Martin World News



And first, a big congratulations to Laurie, whose flagship team, the Elks, won Super Bowl XVIII in our fantasy league!!!  For the second straight year, the Elks took down the Greenwoods, this time 47-33, as she claims her third overall title and becomes the second franchise to win as many as two titles in a row (The now defunct T-Cubs won three from 1999-2001.)





ITEM:  Just for the record, congrats to the Taliban for being big and brave enough to slaughter 130+ school children in Afghanistan!  If youse guys keep it up, Allah will have a place for you in his heart right next to Planned Parenthood!


And I think I know why at least one was still a virgin...
ITEM: Enter Cho Hyun-ah, daughter of the head of Korean Air Lines.  As chief (read:former) of cabin service and a VP in the airline, she was a bit disappointed when a cabin steward presented her a BAG of macadamia nuts rather than on a plate.  When his supervisor came to his defense, Ms. Cho had him booted from the plane.  And it was even worse than just that...


"As it has been confirmed that Cho raised her voice and used abusive language as testified by some flight crew members and passengers, we will report her to the prosecution for potential violation of aviation safety law," the (South Korean Air Transport) ministry said in its statement. "We plan to impose a flight ban or a fine against Korean Air."
Park told South Korean network KBS that Cho hurled insults at the crew and made them kneel before her during her tirade, which has now been dubbed by the Internet as "nut rage." Park also said Korean Air executives visited and pressured him to give a toned-down version of what happened during the incident.




Allegations also include her poking the senior steward, the aforementioned Park Chang-jin, with the very manual with which he tried to show her that nuts-on-a-plate are not part of First-Class protocol.  After the obligatory day or two of denial of the incident (which happened at JFK and caused 250 passengers to have to wait while Park was returned to the terminal), she was brought before the press by Daddy Cho Yang-ho.  She gave the traditional head-down apology whilst daddy dearest announced that she was no longer an employee of the airline.  Still not enough, though...

On Tuesday, Dec. 16, South Korea's transport ministry said the airline faces sanctions of up to 21 days of flight suspensions, or a $2 million fine.

Of course, she might be off the hook if Daddy had money in macadamias...


Auction, a South Korean unit of eBay and South Korea's second-largest e-commerce website, said Monday that sales of macadamias surged nearly 12-fold during the previous five days without any promotions.   

Which meant that Macs went from 5% of their nut sales to 50%, as Koreans, who by and large never heard of them before clamor to find out what the Nut-Rage (as it's being called) is about.

I am very sorry... because 1.5 ounces per bag by $2 million fine... equals I'm not getting a Christmas gift from Daddy..

ITEM:  This one, I have to let the story tell itself...

A JAPANESE woman known as the “Boob Goddess” hopes to rake in cash with a modified rake that she claims can firm a woman’s bust and even enlarge it.
Takiko Shindo is known for something called “Oppai Taisou”, which roughly translates into English as boob exercise massage”.
Her latest advancement in the bustling field of bust enhancement is something called the “Oppai Taisou Hand,” that is basically a pink rake for stroking and brushing one’s breasts, according to Rocket News 24.
The rakish product sells online for between $41 and $54. A commercial suggests it can increase a woman’s bust by three centimetres.




I have to hand it to the Australian news.  I don't know which amused me more- the headline being "Meet Japan's Boob Goddess", or the very next line after what I copied above-  "As titillating as that sounds..."

Zeus checking out Greek boob-goddess Persiphone... there's one in every culture, I guess.

Come to think of it, I remember a dance with Leilani the Hawaiian Goddess at Showgirl III some years back... but that's another story.


ITEM:  Speaking of boobs...


CARACAS, Venezuela — President Ollanta Humala of Peru criticized the environmental group Greenpeace on Saturday for not respecting his country’s archaeological heritage as authorities said they intended to seek criminal charges against several activists who damaged the fragile desert around the Nazca Lines.

Greenpeace stirred up a storm of controversy in Peru last week after a group of about 12 activists on Monday entered a protected area around the famous lines to place a sign promoting renewable energy on the ground. The sign was meant to attract the attention of world leaders who were in Lima for a United Nations summit meeting on climate change.


The future may be renewable, but fragile archaeological sites are not, and these bozos left marks from feet and letters that can still be seen now that there stupidity has been removed.  They should stick to something, which still fairly stupid, they're more successful at- getting sunk by Japanese whalers.


ITEM:  Finally, we have the original hard-luck Romeo.  Men, do not propose like this at home...


A PERFECTLY planned marriage proposal went badly wrong yesterday when a crane smashed through the roof of a neighbour's house.  The unnamed man had hired a crane in the Dutch town of Ijsselstein to lower himself into the garden of his fiancée-to-be early in the morning.

Instead the crane toppled over and crashed into the home of the woman's unsuspecting neighbour.

Algemeen Dagblad, a Dutch news site, reported that the girlfriend accepted the calamitous proposal anyway and the couple travelled to Paris to celebrate their engagement the same day.  Part of the crane protruding through the back of the house. 

Things continued to go wrong when a larger crane, brought in to right the stricken crane, failed to do the job and the crane fell again onto the house roof, widening the original hole.

Six apartments have been evacuated, including the house that the crane hit, which has been declared unsafe.






Reason # 43,198 for staying single...

10 comments:

  1. My Fantasy Football League? I finished 7th out of 8 teams. As if that wasn't bad enough, Yahoo Sports has punked me all season about how bad I sucked.
    That picture of Zeus is pretty interesting. She looks quite fetching; I thought Zeus preferred goats.
    Or am I getting him confused with ISIS?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, Zeus preferred to BE a goat. Or a bull, or...

      Delete
  2. Green Peace should have known about destroying the property with their signs. Total bonehead move for sure!
    I am laughing about the proposal story with the cranes. Oh my!
    That stupid pink rake looks painful and its ridiculous.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So you don't want one for Christmas? Crap.

      Delete
  3. Chris:
    Stupid IS as stupid DOES, even during the holiday season...lol

    --The SoKo airline flap?
    Nuts will be nuts...packaged or otherwise.
    --The BOOB goddess??? Seriously?
    ...and a mere 3 CM?
    Now 3 INCHES would be a REAL feat (or boob).
    Guess it's safer than boob GUM (yes, they have that too)
    --I like YOUR take on where Greenpeace "belongs"...LOL.
    (wonder if they could partner w/ the ACLU...get 2 "birds" for each trawler mishap?)
    I like that idea....toss in Sharpton for good measure (he's already an "anchor"...LMAO).
    --A bloody huge CRANE???
    Well, the car below it looks unscathed (for the moment)...best to move it .
    Yes, there are good reasons WHY some males need to remain single (and not procreate).

    Excellent report.

    Stay safe up there, brother.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "--The BOOB goddess??? Seriously?"

      You wouldn't say that had you that dance with Leilani...

      Delete
  4. Ok I don't know any girl/woman in my family who wants bigger boobs in fact some of them would rather smaller boobs

    ReplyDelete
  5. I was just looking at my hands. They kind of resemble rakes. If any woman needs my service I'd gladly offer it without charge.

    Lee
    Tossing It Out

    ReplyDelete