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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.

SOCK IT TO ME BABY!!!

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Martin world news, with a serious side



I'm going to kick things off with a little less fun stuff, but the same ol' stupidity.

ITEM:  Most of you by now have heard this story:  In San Francisco, the very heart of radical-liberal America, a "sanctuary city", for what that's worth, has out of it's kindness and grace allowed a man 5 times deported to live in their town, and randomly kill a woman in a "random" shooting.  Thus blowing holes in the liberal mindset of allowing illegals to stay in this country, as well as their protests over Donald Trump's recent comments, as well as an innocent 32-year-old woman out for a stroll with her father.  Thank you, San Fran, please continue to boycott Indiana.

ITEM: And here's another one you've prolly heard-

Devon Staples, 22, and his friends had been drinking and setting off fireworks Saturday night in a backyard in Staples' eastern Maine hometown, Calais, when the accident happened with a reloadable fireworks mortar tube, police have said.

Yes, this genius set off a mortar on his head.  He rapidly went from stupid to deceased, and now his mother says that more regulations on fireworks would have saved his life.


The state should consider requiring safety training courses before allowing someone to use them, she said. 


You mean, Maine doesn't have a regulation covering setting off an explosive device on your head while drunk?  Maine, the state that has a regulation regarding not stepping out of a plane while in flight, and another requiring church attendees to bring shotguns in case of an Indian attack?  (Look it up, I did.)  Perhaps the mother of the dear deceased ought to work on ALCOHOL regulation.


ITEM:  If the mother of blast-head needs some ideas, I know where NOT to get them.  I found a story about the drunkest states in the nation- and some other interesting stats.

First, the highest percentage of adults who've had at least one drink in the last 30 days, and Wisconsin wins this one at 65.33% , just ahead of D.C., with Vermont, New Hampshire, and Massachusetts stumbling on behind.  Next, percent of "heavy drinkers", and Wisconsin and Washington DC come in 1-2 again.  Third chart was binge drinking, and guess who were one and two.  The cast of also-rans were an ever changing lot:  Montana, Oregon, and (for a second time) Vermont on the heavy drinking, and North Dakota, Iowa, and Illinois on binging.

They also did a cross-ref with age and ethnicity, and on a really cute interactive chart, we find the greatest drinkers in the 18-24 age group are multiracial;  "other" took a slight lead at 25-34, while the white boys (and girls) edged ahead at 35-44. "Other" nosed ahead again at 45-54, and Asian took the lead at 55-64.  The last category, 65+, was a dead (drunk) heat between "other" and Native Hawaiian and Pacific Islander.


For the sober among you, fewest drinkers was Utah, and both heavy and binging was least popular in Tennessee.  The interactive chart was really interesting on the sober side.  The Hawaiian group was lowest in the two youngest groups, and WAAAAY lowest in the 55-64 group, which makes their "shot" to the lead in the oldest group all the more curious.  In between, 35-44 had the Asians lowest (right before they took THEIR lead), and the Hispanics lowest at 45-54.

Indiana was towards the middle at light drinking, and well into the sober side on the other categories.  They also topped the list in "state most likely to lie to interviewers."


ITEM:  A man from China, whom I'll bet was 55-64 years old, bought a pair of puppies in Vietnam.  Whether this is a story to show how dumb Chinese tourists are or how dishonest Vietnamese pet dealers are, I'll let you judge.  The puppies thrived with the man, one Wang Kaiyu, although they began getting big- really big- and did odd things like killing and eating Wang's chickens.  But it was only when Wang "saw some leaflets from the local Public Security Bureau on endangered wild animals" that he realized what he really had...



...that's right, they were two endangered Asian Sun Bears.  Nuff Said, eh?


ITEM:  A comedian named Kurt Braunohler decided the world needed to be brightened up with a bit of randomness.  This is why he is driving around the country with this...



...a 14 ft tall, 15 ft long, 8 feet wide, 1,600 pound butt.  He calls it the "Love Butt".  And that really is the end.

16 comments:

  1. a regulation covering setting off an explosive device on your head while drunk?

    I'd say that's Darwinian thoery in action...

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    1. But Darwin has not been legislated yet...

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  2. An interesting follow-up to your story about the most drunk state-my data shows that in March 2015, Nevada moved ahead of Arizona on the list of drunk states..beer sales in Reno spiked in the second quarter of 2015 and video footage from liquor store security cameras show a certain ferret-faced fascist allegedly responsible for the additional consumption.

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    1. I used to know someone by that description...

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  3. When talking about the moron who blew his head off, one of my coworkers expressed surprise that something like this happened in New England, where people are supposed to be ultra-sophisticated. He commented that he would expect something like this more in South Carolina (which it couldn't because a Confederate flag was not involved), I reminded him that we were talking about MAINE. I lived there for eight years and there is NOTHING sophisticated about Maine. Ayuh.
    FULL DISCLOSURE: Despite it all, I would love to return there to live. Besides the harsh winters (and a sophistication vacuum) it is a truly beautiful place.

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    1. Isn't Maine like New England's hillbilly neighbor? Breeding with moose and all? Bob Newhart excepted, of course...

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  4. I just saw a bumper sticker today that said this:

    Stupid should HURT.

    I wished I'd had my camera ready for a picture, but alas I missed it.

    Turns out the guy who blew off his head by using it as a firework launcher proved the point. Sometimes stupid DOES hurt.

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    1. Yep. And I try to avoid "hurt stupid", but his mom's separate-but-equal stupidity pushed it into the queue.

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  5. I did a piece on the mortar head, too! Now, I'm changing it, ha ha.

    I smiled when I read (regarding drinking) "...both heavy and binging was least popular in Tennessee." GOOD. The Bible belt has to be good for something...maybe that is reflecting the mindset. Yep...I'm going to go with that.

    Great post, Chris!

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    1. It's either that or Indiana has competition for "state most likely to lie to interviewers".

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  6. And maybe this was only in the news for the South, but last weekend there was a drunk guy that went swimming in a pond with alligators and the alligators won. Crazy drunk!!!
    Sad times with stupid people!

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    1. Oh, we got the story. I almost put it in when I heard a rumour he shouted "#$%^ the alligator!" before he jumped in. But I decided to leave that in the "Chris avoiding stupid hurt" category.

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  7. Chris:
    I looked back in my blog, and my FIRST mention of a ":sanctuary city": (Denver, in fact) was WAY back in 2009.
    In 2014, I mentioned (several times) the parallel between the sanctuary cities AND that Star Trek DS9 episode (Past Tense, PTs 1&2) with their SANCTUARY DISTRICTS...talk about life imitating art...

    Say what you want about Trump...he's not telling falsehoods, and the left KNOWS it.

    The fireworks story...I described to Wifey HOW that injury caused death...concussion and cranial trauma...because there is a "recoil" from that tube, JUST like a real military mortar.
    (and that's why ANY real mortar is anchored to the GROUND...and not someone's skull)

    Amazing how those "drinker" states tend towards being liberal...that surprised me. I thought we were "told" the reverse.?
    Learn something new (and TRUTHFUL) EVERY day.

    Leave it to those wacky Asians...funny-looking puppies, indeed.

    That "love butt"..sounds like someone imitating Family Guy's Peter Griffin...HA!

    Excellent post.

    Stay safe up there, brother.

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    1. It's prolly the conservatives that are drinking in states where libs are in charge...

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  8. The world is full of idiots and aren't you glad you will not run out of stuff for posts like this. how stupid could someone be to set off an explosive on their head, or by two bears thinking they were puppies talk about stupid

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    1. One thing is for sure- you are right, I'll never run out. I might run out of space...

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