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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.


Wednesday, July 8, 2015

OMG an award? Really?

Yesterday, I got a nomination from one of my favorite bloggers, Holli at Holli's Hoots and Hollers.  What I did to her, I don't know (Juuuuuust kidding), for I am one of those people who isn't very "blog award" motivated.  Mainly because of the usual "nominate X bloggers" requirement, this time 5 to 20.  Twenty nominations would have me dipping heavily into the "that asshole Martin nominated me" end of my blogging friends.  Heck, 5 might cover that.  It always makes me feel a lot like Jehovah's Witnesses must feel in my neighborhood. So why don't I post a "No awards please" sign on my blog like some others do?  Pure ego.

 So I promised to do the first two requirements, which doesn't rightly qualify me for the "Creative Blogger Award", so maybe I'll just claim to be a creative bugger and leave it at that.  Anyway, the first requirement is "thank and link to the nominating person", which I have linked. And now I am thanking.  Thank you so much.  Kinda what I get for spilling your "secret" in the comments section yesterday, huh? LOL.

The second requirement involves sharing five "facts about myself."  Remember, you asked for it:

1- The two greatest things in my life (Laurie and the kids) came as a result of the two biggest mistakes of my life (working at Arden Co. and marrying their Mom, respectively).

2- As a kid, I had a handful- rather, two handfuls- of warts.  Probably goes a ways to explain my social awkwardness.  The summer between grade school and high school, I decided to try the old wives' cure of slicing a potato in half, rub it on the warts, throw the potato over your shoulder without looking for where it landed.  It may be a chemical in the potato or some magic force, take yer pick.  But within two weeks, more than two dozen warts, which had defied the best efforts of Compound W and prescription cremes for almost a decade, simply crumbled into dust and never came back.

3- My Mom actually helped make the Oakland Athletics my favorite baseball team.  It was the 1972 playoffs, and I was kinda rooting for the A's, because how cool is green and gold?  Lerin LaGrow was pitching for the Tigers to Bert Campaneris.  A pitch thocked Campy hard in the shin.  He dropped to one knee, and promptly tomahawked his bat at LaGrow.  What then ensued was a fifteen minute argument between an mother against violence and a ten year old defiantly shouting, "I'd do the same thing!"  If there was going to be a doubt about who I was following thenceforth, that argument erased it.

4- If I have all the ingredients at home, my ultimate cheeseburger has the following toppings (or bottom-ings, depending): Ketchup, ranch, light bit of onions, sliced mushrooms, heavy on the onion powder, Mrs. Dash (trying to watch the salt, y'know), and any available cheese, up to and including Velveeta or available substitute, American slices, shredded mozzarella, and grated parmesan/romano blend.  If we have buns, better be sesame seeds.  Otherwise white is fine.  Oh, and potato chips for crunch.

5- As a newly minted Whovian, I am never far from my sonic screwdriver, which gets used more than I like to seal shut a certain dog's aromatic orifice.


Picture time, from a collection of walks!

Wild raspberries.  Nothing but tart, but still a nice treat.

Left center of the picture, little white eye.  Has the camo thing down good.

"Mom, this vacation you booked really sucks."

"Crap, here comes Scrappy.  Do I run, or just laugh at him?"

So today we set out on a walk to the woods.  Only thing we ran into (other than rain on the way home) was an odd sort who we ran into near the last curve in the trail before the north end of the side trail (if curious, go back up and hit the map link.)  He seemed to be pacing back and forth, fiddling with his phone, and eating a banana.  As we passed, he asked what Scrappy's name was.  I told him, he grunted, end of conversation.  Later, we passed a banana peel hanging on a bush just where the trail leaves the woods.  Really dude?

So I thought to myself, it's a drug deal.  The banana is a signpost for his contact.  He opened the other one so we wouldn't be suspicious when we passed the "signal" one.  His contact is late, he's checking the time.  Awkward conversation was to throw us off the scent, too.  It's right near the nursing home, he's prolly waiting for someone to sneak him out some Oxycodon or morphine.

Or he's just a weird sort of litterbug.  Anyway...

My pet slime mold is thriving again...

Under the barn overhang in the "ferocious rainstorm".


Lastly but not leastly, we need to address the topic of Jared Fogle.  A lot of rumors going around, and I'm not going to add to them.  Honestly, I prayed for him today when I thought about him, either falsely accused or trapped in a life that is about to destroy him.

However, the smartass in the back of my head, came up with, "Subway should just change their slogan to, What surprise will Jared have for our buns today?"

You try living with this guy...


  1. I actually took the liberty to changing the rules this morning to 5. Originally it said 10 to 20 people to nominate but I had literally a few minutes to post this morning.
    No revenge- just adding you because you're one of my faves. :)
    The potato thing is pretty cool. Who knew that would work! I had a big ugly wort on my finger which took over the whole tip . I have very tiny hands so it was big. I used the compound W though and it worked.
    My burger has to have cheese and mustard, and ketchup and extra dill pickles. I like blue cheese dressing too at certain restaurants. Yumm!!

    1. My niece, as you might have seen, commented on FB that she tried it on her children through my brother's insistance, and it worked for them as well. Just can't beat the old cures!

  2. Chris:
    Congrats on that blogger nomination.

    I was trying to get you nominated for the 2016 Presidential run, but using that sonic screwdriver at press conferences brought to mind certain copyright infringements from across the pond...
    (and this president has PO'ed enough of our allies)

    Love that "vacation" picture w/ the ducks...LOL.

    And, I could use those bricks that were stacked.

    BTW,the sonic tends to work better with IN-ORGANICS when it comes to the whole OPEN/CLOSE thingy.

    As for Jared...well, that football player whose brother was busted in Fort Wayne the other year had HIS house searched by the FEDS too, and they found nothing connecting HIM to his brother's drug deals.
    Could be the same with Jared...we'll have to see.
    But I DO like that new slogan (not a fan of subway...gimme BLIMPIES any day)

    Great post.

    Stay safe & dry up there, brother

    1. In response to your nomination, I will use the same slogan I use at work: If nominated, will not run. If elected, will not serve. If unsupervised, will not work.

  3. Hey congrats on your award. Those 5 things you wrote about yourself were pretty cool. Can't believe the potato thing. Very cool! As for Jared...I'm just waiting to see what the outcome of the search finds on his electronics. If he's guilty...I'll be really really pissed off at him.

    1. Thank you, pretty lady. A friend on FB posted that their have been stories about Jared as far back as 2007 according to the UK Mirror. I guess we'll learn soon enough.

  4. Love the drug dealer idea... That's got to be the case... I mean come on? What else could it be?

    Just after Christmas we got a package in the office that appeared to be bleeding. Seriously. It covered the box, three tubs, and the bottom of the hamper it came in and the one it subsequently landed in. Needless to say the boss men were making MANY phone calls to determine what was in it.

    I was convinced it was a human head. Most likely because someone didn't get the Christmas gift they wanted. We started all kinds of rumors... van goh's ear... the god father's pinky... etc.

    We were all disappointed when we found out it was homemade sausage.


    1. Amazing the crap people will send...