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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.


Friday, July 24, 2015

Time Machine week 34

Today, we hover over Detroit, 1967.  Police raided an illegal party and decided to arrest the entire group, stop me if you've heard this one before, all blacks.  The party was for a good cause- a pair of soldiers returning alive from Vietnam.  Did the police overreact?  Possibly.  But one big mouth onlooker- a doorman at the affair- incited the crowd and threw a bottle at the cops.  So, in the way that has been established for Black Americans to protest police unfairness for the last 40 years, "After the last police car pelted with stones left, the black mob began looting an adjacent clothing store. Shortly thereafter, full-scale looting began throughout the neighborhood. So many looters were involved that police were unable to make their first arrest until 7 a.m. the next morning. " (per wiki)

The fruits of this heroic action were something to be proud of- " The result was 43 dead, 1,189 injured, over 7,200 arrests, and more than 2,000 buildings destroyed. "  All that because mob politics says, "The Man is unfair, let's rob an unrelated business!"

In many ways, the panel list for this week in 1967 is similar.  With one of the lowest scores in the history of the panel #1 song, we had 7 songs between 19 to 11 points, as well as a one-week-old record broken- 9 total #1 votes out of a possible 12!  Along with that, this week we reveal the Summer Top Ten- and in a bit of a different way; the top songs with the title Heartbreaker; Gabor Szabo, and what he has to do with this week's list; the sexiest songs of the Martin Era, courtesy of Billboard; no Bottom's Up do to space constraints; and the amazing way I finally defeat the evil holders of the Beatles' song rights!  So let's give peace- and music- a chance, shall we?

Oh yeah, speaking of the Fab Four- today they sign the London Times petition to legalize Marijuana.  Light up, everybody!

Our severely divided panel this week consists of KOIL Omaha, WLLH Lowell MA, WIBM (no not a company station) Jackson MI, WARK Hagerstown MD, KQEO Albuquerque, WARM Wilkes-Barre, WAVZ New Haven, KISN Vancouver WA, KIMN Denver, KFJZ Fort Worth, KQV Pittsburgh, and CKLW Detroit.  They posted 29 different songs, and 32% of them were number ones somewhere!  The six that did not make the panel's top 4:

Out of the seven that hit double figures-

The Buckinghams' Mercy Mercy Mercy (Omaha)
Music Explosion's Little Bit O' Soul (Wilkes-Barre), the national #3
The Association's Windy (Hagerstown AND Denver), the national #1

And from those that didn't make it that far-

Sonny and Cher's It's The Little Things (which was sounding great until Sonny chimed in, Lowell)
Johnny Rivers' Tracks Of My Tears (Vancouver)
The Monkees' Pleasant Valley Sunday (could it be anyone but KQV Pittsburgh?)

And now, the panel's top four:

With none of the bounty of #1s and 15 points, the nation's #4 song as well, Scott McKenzie's San Francisco (Wear Flowers In Your Hair).

Taking the #1s of New Haven and Albuquerque, also with 15 points, the nation's #2 song, Frankie Valli (and the uncredited Four Seasons) with Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You.

At number two, with 16 points and the #1 vote of Fort Worth, the nation's #10, Stevie Wonder and I Was Made To Love Her.

And at number one, with the weakest of mandates... stay tuned.


As one might expect, I had quite the crop of unknowns.  One of them was the Sonny and Cher song, which wouldn't crack the charts at #102 for another couple of weeks.  If this had been Cher alone, you might be getting the video now, but Sonny was the worst case of nails down the chalkboard since... well, I have nothing to compare it to.  Other higher charting examples belonged to Bette Swan's Make Me Yours, Sandy Posey's I Take It Back (which is amusing that they were #s 21 and 22 this week), The Five Americans' Sound Of Love (which had actually peaked last month, but Vancouver missed the memo), and Chris Bartley's Sweetest Thing This Side Of Heaven.

But the song I chose for this week I couldn't find a video for.  Not surprising, because it was the b-side of a song I couldn't find a video for.  But it was at # 3 in Jackson, not surprising here, either, since they were a set of native sons called the Woolies.  They did not chart with their single, Duncan And Brandy, nor its b-side, the #3 in Jackson Love Words.  However, the year before, the Lansing, MI, boys had chipped the charts at #96 with a song later made famous by George Thorogood and the Delaware Destroyers:


Now before I start putting the Summer Top Ten in, I'm going to give you some fairly impossible clues for each of them.  Not to make you guess, so much as to expand the trivia available!

10- Background vocals by Carol Parks, who also sang on the geographical pairing of It Never Rains In Southern California and The Nights The Light Went Out In Georgia.

9- This song was sung live on TV before the singer recorded it.

8- This one was kept out of Billboard's #1 slot by the song that finishes here at #1.

7- This Nebraska duo hold the record for being one-hit-wonders in both the US of A and the UK with different songs.

6- This group re-recorded their song in Italian the next year, called Piangono Gli Uomini (The Men Cry).

5- The fuzz guitar beginning was fuzzed to bookmark they were to be re-recorded in horns- but they liked the fuzzy guitar better and kept it.

4- Billboard named this the 20th sexiest song of all time (more on this later).

3-This song was first recorded by country legend Don Gibson, as the b-side of Oh Lonesome Me.

2- The singer first recorded this reject-pile salvage as an R&B tune.

1- The first solo artist to have his first three singles hit #1.

Got 'em?  Well, just to let you know:

10- Undercover Angel, Alan O'Day

9- This Guy's In Love With You, Herb Alpert

and 8- Baker Street, Gerry Rafferty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Now, I mentioned this sexiest songs of all time list I stumbled onto.  Billboard basically took the songs they considered to be blatantly about sex, and ranked them by their chart lists.  And you know me, I pare things down to the Martin Era (1962-79), which means that a bunch of songs didn't make the ME list.  Those songs included BB's #1 sexiest song, Olivia Newton-John's Physical (which is a big reason the ME ends in '79).  You also miss out on gems like Madonna's Like A Virgin.  So which ones made the ME top ten?  Here, with their BB ranks:

10- Our number four Summer 100 song, Starland Vocal Band's Afternoon Delight (20)

9- Our summer 100's #17 song, Anita Ward's Ring My Bell (17)

8- Our summer 100's  #15 song, Donna Summer's Bad Girls (13)

7- Our summer 100's #35 song, The Stones with Honky Tonk Women (11)

6- Rod Stewart's Do Ya Think I'm Sexy? (10)

5- Exile's Kiss You All Over (9)

4- The Captain and Tenille with one of my all-time stinkers, Do That To Me One More Time (7)

3- Our summer 100's #52 song, Donna Summer's Hot Stuff (6)- would it be bad of me to admit I first typed "Hot Stiff"?

2- Marvin Gaye's Let's Get It On (5)

And at number one... (or number two on BB's list)  Rod Stewart again, with Tonight's The Night!!!!!!!!!

HEY!  Where am I?  How the hell do you do sexy without Barry White?


Okay, so you have 10, 9, 8, and 4.... here's some more of the Summer Top Ten!!!!!!!

7- Zager and Evans, In The Year 2525 (Exordium and Terminus)- their UK one-hit-wonder was this one...

6- The Four Tops, I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie Honey Bunch)

and #5, the Rolling Stones with (I Can't Get No) Satisfaction!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


So who is Gabor Szabo?  Well, in addition to being a relatively famous jazz guitarist, he's the guy who sued George Benson for plagiarising his signature number, Breezin' from a Szabo original!  Szabo once toured with a well known name on TM, drummer Jim Keltner.  And because Keltner was on tour with Szabo at that particular time, Jim Gordon became the drummer in the Eric Clapton-led Derek and the Dominoes.  Before that, one of his many credits was playing on the Nancy Sinatra hit, These Boots Are Made For Walking.  Also on the recording according to the wiki story was guitarist Al Casey, who played as well on the #6 song this week, which incredibly got no love from the panel:

Up Up And Away by the Fifth Dimension!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


You know #4 on the Summer Top Ten, so here are some more:

3- I Can't Stop Loving You, Ray Charles- as I mentioned last week, Laurie and I's Birthday song!

2- Roses Are Red, Bobby Vinton!

But before we go to #1... it's time for the shuffle ten.  This week, I'm beginning a new twist.  Because of legal issues, Spotify, You tube, virtually anywhere you can get free music, you can't get the Beatles.  Thus, the greatest music act of all time has not entered the shuffle ten.  But I came up with an ingenious solution!  Random number their charting discography, randomly place then in the ten, repeat every five weeks.  And this week is the first with a Beatles tune on board.  With that in mind, here we go!

Alice In Chains make their first appearance on the S10 from their 1993 lp Dirt.  The song is called Down In A Hole, and it made #10 MSR.  Also, in case your a baseball fan, former Reds pitcher Bronson Arroyo of all people did a cover of this.  It takes our 10 hole...

Yup, and I also won 14 games for Boston that year...
Tommy James and the Shondells' 1968 top dog Crimson And Clover gives them their 3rd S10 at #9.

Billy Ocean's huge success with Caribbean Queen buried the fact he had an underappreciated hit in 1976, the #22 Love Really Hurts Without You.  That song makes our #8.

The Guess Who land their fifth S10 here at number 7 with a song you prolly never heard- from the lp So Long, Bannatyne, that track is Going A Little Crazy.

A song which we recently featured by the Peppermint Trolley Company (remember the guys that had that cameo on the Beverly Hillbillies?) and got added to my shuffle comes in at #6.  You Come Rolling Across My Mind peaked at #59 back in 1968.

At #5 is the first appearance of the Trock (Time Lord Rock) band from Chicago, Time Crash.  The track that makes our list, from their 2014 cd Regeneration, is called Who Am I?

Lightning flashes in from shattered windows
as I'm wandering
bare feet on a concrete floor
with rain beneath my toes
in these crooked mirrors
there's a face that I don't recognize
on my knees oh how I cry
arms spread wide, eyes to the sky

Is this all as strange as it is seeming?
Was I dead or was I only dreaming?
Up into the thunder I am screaming
Who am I?

I remember red fields and a city domed in glass
I was charged with a vital task
Red fields and a home that's far away
I remember
I remember Gallifrey....

You can catch a listen or learn more about this great little band at their website.

Suzanne Vega grabs our #4 slot with her big #3 smash from 1987, Luka.

I learned doing research on our #3 that there have been 4 ME songs to chart with the title "Heartbreaker".  Dolly Parton's song hit #37 (and top ten country) in 1978; Pat Benatar broke into the pop world with her song, charting at #23 in 1978 as well;  The Stones on a technicality place Doo Doo Doo Doo (Heartbreaker) at #15 in 1973; but the highest charting Heartbreaker, written by the Bee Gees and sung by Dionne Warwick, charted at #10 in 1987 and at number three on the S10.

And the Beatles grab their first S10 in the #2 slot with 1964's Roll Over Beethoven.  Wedged between their #1s She Loves You and I Want To Hold Your Hand, it only peaked at 68 on BB but Cashbox took it all the way to #30.  With a b-side cover of Please Mr. Postman (which I thought they did a great job on), I'd have to personally put it behind Chuck Berry's original and WAAAAAAY behind ELO's version from their first album.

And, at number one?

Survey says...

...the Doors with Light My Fire!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shuffle says...

...the Bee Gees with Tragedy, their second #1 from Spirits Having Flown in 1979!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Which is really ironic because the greatest hit of the summers of the Martin Era is....

...Andy Gibb with Shadow Dancing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow, that was a lot of stuff!  Which is a good thing, because Vacation 2015 officially began 10 AM Thursday, and I am of two minds about whether I will unleash any of the regular posts during that time.  But if I do, we'll be going to...1973!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Now see here... I don't particularly care for 1973!"

Oh, chill out, Mr President.  It's all about the music!  See you either next week or in two!


  1. Which Sonny and Cher song? I got you babe?
    I love Honky tonk woman by the Stones! One of my favorites. The Do you thnk I'm sexy song by Rod Stewart reminds me of when I was a freshman in junior college. We were being initiated and we had to go into the lobby of the boys football dorm and scream this song with the top of our lungs. We were only allowed to put makeup on one side of our face and we had to wear what we slept in. We looked frightful but it was fun!!! Have a great weekend Chris!

    1. Look again under the six songs that got #1 votes and didn't make the panel four. Although frankly, almost anything Sonny sang on fits the description...

    2. Now, all Cher can do is sing, "I Got Me, Babe." Not as catchy.

  2. St. Peter: "Good morning. Welcome to Heaven. Here are your wings and...hey! You look kind of young. What happened to you??"
    Doofus: "Well, we was at a party, you know. I was a doorman for this thing celebrating a couple friends who'd come back from Vietnam."
    St. Peter: "Go on."
    D: "Well, the Man was hassling us and was gonna arrest all of us. So, I threw a bottle at them."
    St. Peter: "Wow. Sounds like they overreacted. Although, a bottle...."
    D: "For sure. So, then we threw a buncha rocks at the Pigs. Then, to show we was serious, we looted that clothing store around the block owned by that Korean dude."
    St. Peter: "Well, that was wrong. The Korean didn't do anything to you."
    D: "Well...mebbe. But, I got me a fiiinnne looking coat."
    St. Peter: "But, it definitely looked like the police got a little carried away. Sounds like you maybe were in the right."
    D: "You got that right."
    St. Peter: "I'd totally sue them."
    D: "Definitely."
    St. Peter: "But, you can't."
    D: "I know. We should just...WHAT? What you mean I can't!?"
    St. Peter: "Because you're dead. Dumbass."

    1. "On the bright side, where you're going, you'll have a LOT of lawyers..."
      (Couldn't resist that old saw...)

  3. Chris:
    Wow, this week's TM really IS "bigger on the inside"...LOL.

    Detroit...overreacting isn't QUITE the word I had in mind.
    (but TNB is a suitable acronym)
    Some things never change 0 they just move around to OTHER cities.

    ---(heh - used to get WARM in the Poconos...if there wa cloud cover and a good "skip-bounce" signal into the rabbit ears)
    ---WINDY - great song.
    ---Woolies - never heard of 'em...George Thorogood...YES!
    (still got his early vinyl, too)
    ---Baker Street - nice.
    ---Exile - good band in the day.
    ---In The Year 2525 - damn, used to have the 45 of that one.
    (played the crap outta it, too - looks like SOME of it may come true)
    ---So THAT'S who Szabo was...BREEZIN' was a great album.
    ---GREAT Ray Charles it.
    ---TRAGEDY - excellent song (and a very good album!
    ---SHADOW DANCING !!! - someone up there likes me...LOL.

    1973 should be a good year for tunes (just not leaving 1600 Pennsylvania Ave).

    Excellent ride this week.

    Keep those hits comin' up there, brother.

    1. See, that's the point of the unknown song- you don't know em!

      I loved Exile when they were at the height of their country run. The countrified version of Kiss You All Over was just enough different to be better IMHO.

      The hardest part of doing a break is not doing the research for the panel.

      Glad you liked SD. Even with it's year heavily adjusted by me, it couldn't be stopped.