Follow by Email

What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.

SOCK IT TO ME BABY!!!

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Martin World News



ITEM:  We just started working on canopy tops for a new customer.  They warned me that they were going to be big, and long.  But they didn't warn me they would contain...





....Tom Brady footballs!!!!


ITEM:  A few days ago, Egypt celebrated the opening of a Suez Canal reboot, and the plan was to string national flags throughout Cairo, as you can see...




But, not being Egyptian, you might not see the problem here.  You see, they went to a cheap foreign supplier for their flags, and well, they left something off...



...see, the Egyptian flag has the "Eagle of Saladin" on it.  Without it you have...


... a city full of the flags of YEMEN.  I wonder how you write "made in China" in Arabic?

(Answer: صنع في الصين)



ITEM:  My source at the Epoch Times put up an article on 20 "code words" the net users in China (speaking of which) use to sneak things past the censors- and I found it pretty amusing.  Here they are:

1- For the word "freedom", they just chop the top thingies off the pictograph, which leaves you with "eye-field".

2- To "March through the streets in a protest", they use the term, "Take a walk".  Example:  "I'm taking a walk to Obama's to show him what I think of my eye-field."

3- For the occasional inconvenient police raid, they say the gov'mint is "checking the water meter."

4- the Domestic Security Dept., which watches all the dissidents, is known as the "National treasure".

5- I'm surprised the thugs, er, residents of Baltimore haven't come up with this one:  Someone who dies in jail under suspicious circumstances is "playing hide and seek".

6- Imperial Capital- Beijing, of course...

7- Scale the wall- evade the internet censors.

8- Corrupt officials who seem to be "naked" of assets, but who are actually shipping ill-gotten funds overseas to relatives, are called "naked officials".

9-  This is the China Central Television building...


...a building so ugly that the term for it is: "the big boxer shorts".

10- And our good friend Kim Jong Un....



... is lovingly known as Kim Fatty-3.

I'm going to save the rest of these for the next installment.  More fun waits ahead!


ITEM: Public health is a nice thing, but... Part One:


The mayor of Sellia, Italy (tucked in the arch of the Boot), faced with decades of rapid population decline and an aging populace remaining, has decreed- it is now illegal to get sick and die.  Well, not quite, but pretty much:

Using a carrot-and-stick approach, he's promising tax breaks for locals who avail themselves of health services, but penalties for people who choose not to do so. "Those who don't take preventive measures, and jeopardise their own health and that of our village, will have to pay more taxes," he tells the agency. His directive, uploaded to the local council's website, says falling ill within the village is "banned". (From BBC)


Surprised Obama didn't think of that... wait, that might have accomplished something useful...

ITEM:  Public health is a nice thing, but... Part Two:


This is one of those "It would never fly in the US of A things:

Government workers in the province of Edirne usually start their shifts at 08:30, but anyone signing up to the new Our Cure is Sport scheme will be allowed to clock in an hour later, the Haber 7 website reports. Workers will be helped to find a sport that suits them, and will have access to a dietician, the report says. So far 70 people have asked to take part. But as the Daily Sabah points out, it isn't clear whether people will be monitored to make sure they really are using the hour to work out, and not to sleep in.




ITEM:  Government illogic:  The nation of Papua New Guinea is close to banning all guns.  The logic behind this is amazing:

Prime Minister Peter O'Neill says officials are drawing up legislation that would outlaw firearms, and he thinks they should be removed from both civilians and the police. "My thinking is that we should ban firearms completely in the country," he is quoted as saying in The Post Courier. "You don't need firearms to control law and order in the country. It is about respect of the community, respect of the policemen and women."


So that's the problem in Chicago and DC- not enough respect.  And why don't they give respect to cops in Chicago and DC?



Oh, yeah, they're gangstas.

ITEM:  For those who want the article to back it up, feel free to read here.  But basically the story explains where that "97% of scientists believe climate change" Came from.  Seems it started with a survey by 2 U of Illinois researchers in 2009.  Let's run the actual survey numbers:

- 10,257 surveys sent by a professional survey service to scientists.
- 3,146 actually answered.
- Then they filtered out all except those scientists who had had at least two articles on climate change published in peer-reviewed magazines.  That cut the list to 77.
- 75 of these believe in man-made climate change.  75 of 77= 97%.

Liars, damn liars, and statisticians have nothing on climate agenda scientists, Mr. Twain.

ITEM:  Finally, the latest spam e-mail (now that the "French revolution" has finally abated):

This one is the latest spin on "I'm dying of cancer and want to give you my money to give to charity".  Here we have a Mrs. Susan Morgan who uses a Japanese Yahoo account to send a letter addressed as coming from Cote d'Ivorie, and says in the first line (after starting with the salutation "DEAREST ONE OF GOD") "I am the above named person from Kuwait."  So first, she's confused to where she is.

Next is her sickness:  "my Doctor told me i have seriously sickness which is cancer problem.  The one that disturbs me most is my stroke sickness."  So she's confused to what she has.

Then, she brings the Bible out after you.  "The Bible made us to understand that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the Lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. "  Or something like that.  Her idea of holding her peace is, apparently getting someone else to make her "anonymous donation".  So her theology is a bit confused as well.  Nice try, though.

Finally, I think she doesn't want her dead husband's in-laws to know what she's about.  "I don’t need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health hence the presence of my husband’s relatives is around me always I don't want them to know about this development."  But I'm not really sure.

11 comments:

  1. The meme of the exercising cat describes me perfectly.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That bit about Italy sounds nice, but what about people with heredity diseases or things that no amount of exercising/eating right could change (cancer and such)? Flawed like every other plan regarding healthcare. And a little crazy too, but whatever!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Couple it with free exams and he might just have something...

      Delete
  3. Ok this left me shaking my head wondering why, just why

    ReplyDelete
  4. I've had a stressful day and really needed these laughs. Thank you, thank you, CW, especially for the "Made in China" in Arabic bit, and Kim-Fatty 3. You're the best!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Chris:
    LOL on the chi-coms "buzz-speak"...
    and that IS one FUGLY building!

    Public Health - one of MANY aspects of our lives that ANY government has NO business butting into...period.

    Papua New Guinea and NO guns for ANYONE?
    Sounds JUST like that planet in Star Trek 5 - NIMBUS 3 (the planet of galactic peace).
    In the movie, all weapons were banned THERE, and the locals just went ahead and made crude weapons anyway (compressed gas-operated).
    Can't stop those who WANT to crate mayhem,, and certainly NOT for any level of respect.

    BRAVO on the "statistical data"...goes to show how numbers CAN be fudged (and how adept folks like YOU can EXPOSE them). Well done.

    That French/Japanese (probably from Taiwan, where I get similar crap from).Ivory Coast spam stuff...must be nice to take a pitiful life and bother people HALF a world away for no reason...
    (gotta love the abuse of technology.)

    Another excellent report.

    Stay safe up there, brother.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The upside on the PNG thing is, think of all the robberies we could commit once we master the poison blow-dart!

      Delete
  6. Chris:
    Funny you mention that...I happen to OWN a blowgun (with darts).

    :)

    ReplyDelete