Laurie goes to the cupboard to get a handful of Scrappy's "mom and dad are leaving me" treats (basically doggie versions of cheese doodles).
"Are we out of his other treats?"
Words that send a chill down the spine. Allow me to explain.
This is the "other treats". Somehow Scrappy has come to believe that a dose of these between 7-8 PM are a right, not a privilege. No matter if he has just gone through the process of begging Dad's dinner, eating his dinner, and begging Mom's dinner. Once all that's done, if it's after 7 PM, I should be leaping to my feet and getting this taken care of. When I get around to doing it, I take two of the treats, break them in thirds, and hide them around the room- sometimes shutting him in the half-bath to hide them, sometimes just pretending to throw one and hiding while he's looking in vain. It's not a big chore, and I usually use the time to remind myself to pack my next day's lunch (a pack of blueberry Pop-Tarts). Last night, though, I already had that covered, we had just finished eating about 7:40, and by 7:50, I was getting it.
Scrappy comes to me with that, "You know what time it is!" look and a bark. I respond with the situationally appropriate response (either the verbal middle finger or "BS"). He gets mad, circles the room. Looks at his Mom. Comes back to me. Repeat the process- over and over and over.
Finally, I tell him, "I'll decide when it's time, and I decide it's NOT NOW."
Me: "And that attitude won't make it come any sooner."
Scrappy: Grumbles, stalks off towards Mom.
Laurie: "Get up here and lay down. Don't ignore me!"
Scrappy: Grumbles, stalks to me. "BARK!"
Me: "WHEN I'M READY!"
Scrappy: Stalks to Mommy. Grumbles.
Laurie: "He sounds like a toddler talking back to you."
Me: "He IS talking back to me! That's why I'm not getting them!"
Scrappy: Returns to me. "ROO- ROOF!"
Me: It's NOT time!"
Scrappy: (moans a very human moan of disappointment.)
Finally, Laurie gets tired of it and talks him into going outside. Then I get the treats and hide them. Also, make sure he has water, because their smoked flavor gives him hot pipes. No point in having to get back up after he's convinced he found them all.
So when Laurie said we were out, I said, "Oh, crap, you're right. "
Laurie says, "We can stop on the way back and get some more."
Me: "We'd better. Unless you want to get "the tantrum" all night tonight."
|Scrappy. With dogs like him, who needs toddlers?|