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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.


Tuesday, September 29, 2015

And More fun tidbits

ITEM 1:  No, I'm Not Really Here

This is one of those long awaited Wal-Mart stories from Laurie.  Let me set this up by mentioning that store rules require a cashier to card the person that buys booze, along with anyone with them.  This can be quite amusing, because there are a LOT of underage/don't have my ID people who, rather than be smart and go stand outside while the legal person makes the purchase, insist on standing there until they are required to produce ID, at which point the purchase can NOT be made, and switching to another cashier does no good- if they are caught, they don't get served.

As you might imagine, such idiots come with a plethora of excuses.  A few nights back, a young-ish couple, guy and girl, came trying this very thing.  His ID checked out, but she refused to show hers.  Laurie explained that as she was with him, she had to show ID or no sale.  "I'm not with him," she said as she stood at the end of the line, "I'm just bagging."

First thing, Laurie was bagging.
Second thing, you come into a store and just randomly bag booze for guys you aren't with often?

ITEM 2:  Work, part one

One of the many things I'd like to share about my job is the decisive action taken whenever a problem arises.  But since I can't, there's this story.

My machine that cuts fabric is basically a 72 inch by 5 yard conveyor belt of plastic composite.  They have lasted through up to 6 months of being cut upon in the past, and the hope is that by setting different base lines to cut on it might last even longer.  But the current one, not so much.

Installed on June 8th, it was a travesty less than 2 months in when a gigantic slit formed lengthwise on the belt.  About five inches in on the side I run things from, about a foot long.   Hitting the slit meant bye-bye blade, so I had to start staggering the fabric (which is 60 inches itself) higher on the belt.  The problem has escalated to a point that between 5-8 inches above my edge there are (I counted) a dozen such slits anywhere from 4- 18 inches long.  Thus 8 1/2 inches of my belt are a virtual no-man's land, and the next four are getting so heavily used that it is developing the "overuse bump" that I normally don't start seeing for another couple months.

Today, I told my big boss that I was running out of places to run to.  He said, "Yes, I need to check up on the new belt.  We know it's in shipping, (meaning en route), but..."

"That's a pretty big, expensive piece of equipment to not know where it is," I said.

"Sigh.  I know."

Part of the problem MAY lie in the installation back in June.  The belt has to be stretched on (requiring 3 big men and one little guy to climb underneath, usually me), welded together with super-hot glue, and then tensioned by a lever on the machine.  That lever was stripped out last time, requiring a panicked rush to Lowes in the pouring rain and some, as we used to say, creative engineering. (Well, we didn't say it like that, but Jesse Jackson will be on my butt if I put it the right way.)  Perhaps the fix has something to do with it... but I think it's just a belt with one bad side.

ITEM 3:  If'n You Want It, or If'n You Don't

I just found out that Microsoft wants you to upgrade to Windows 10.  So much so, in fact, that in the course of your regular updates, they may have (as they did to me) downloaded the framework for it- a multi-gig program set sitting there taking up space until you upgrade- without so much as a by-your-leave.  Leo Notenboom at  can give you the rundown, as he did me in his weekly e-mail, but involves checking your program list for a certain little devil that you must eliminate by A) finding the updates concerned and deleting them, B) checking your update list periodically to see if they show up again, in which case you mark them "hide this update", and C), if you want to, delete the program, which requires you to sign on as an administrator, or use Disk Cleanup to eliminate the unwanted vagrant.  If I had any intent to upgrade, I sure the hell don't now.  Nice marketing move, MicroBully!

ITEM 4:  Work, part two

I confess it, I have a problem with projects sitting "over my head", glaring at me, saying get me done!  You'd think I'd be used to that, with the frequency of stupid crap hot orders that come my way in the course of a day.  But I am getting better at not yelling, kicking, or throwing a tantrum when they come my way.  Today, for example, I decided to have some fun with it before I killed someone...

So far, it hasn't got me fired...

ITEM 5:  More Whining About Blood Monitoring

Last night, 5 PM:  Four sticks, four drops of blood, four of my rapidly diminishing test strips, three error messages, two flat out ignores, and the realization that the meter just does NOT want blood from the fingers on my right hand.

All for a 114.  In case you didn't know, 114 on the Martin scale is really really close to "Why am I bothering?"

ITEM 6:  Work part three

Had a bee in the plant today.  Came to visit my area after scaring one lady half outta her bra.  At 11:30 or thereabouts, I took a freshly folded panel and hit him as he hovered over my scrap bin (Yeah, I know it was a she, but I wouldn't hit a lady).  Didn't see it, it didn't fly away.  I assumed he was either dead or very very concussed.

1:30, I happened to be looking over at the bin when I saw the little dastard rise from the scrap and fly off, back toward the lady he first scared.  I'd have just stayed in the scrap till it got dumped in with the yummy trash, if I were him.  But if I were him, I'd be a her, so....

ITEM 7:  Lats night's Walk


  1. I'm amused by every random fun-fact in this post. I admit, too, I was getting heated upon reading about 8.5 inches and men and stripping and hardware...Oh sorry. I really like that sunset photo.

    1. I'm thinking I better re-read and edit this post...

  2. Chris:
    I had a felling a lot of this would be PRICELESS...and you did NOT disappoint.
    --Walmart policy makes perfect sense...which is something a LOT of people shopping there tend to ALSO leave at home (next to their brains).
    All the girl hadda do was WAIT by the DOOR...DUH!

    --NO DECISIVE ACTION (when needed) at the JOB?
    I thought they CURED
    That "creative" aspect to engineering sounds more like a "BUTCH-JOB" (as we used to call a band-aid on a broken leg aka keep yer fingers crossed).

    --Yeah, with ALL this "in-computer" sneaky-ass clandestine goings on by M-S with ALL the CONSTANT "upgrades", I'll tell 'ya...APPLE is looking BETTER and better.
    Microsoft =-MACROCRAP!

    --And YES - that IS one NICE piece of signage you got going on.

    --Wonder what that meter would say with a drop of Scrappy''s blood? Just asking.

    --What bees bother messing with PEOPLE when flowers are SO much better beats the hell outta me.
    When they invade MY space...sorry...THWACK!

    --The sun filtering through the trees photo is great, but that SUNSET is simply FANTASTIC!

    Good post.

    Stay safe (and hematologically-stable) up there, brother.

    1. Scrappy says never you mind what my blood would test!

  3. I have a sign at my desk that says "9 out of 10 of the voices in my head tell me to call in sick."

    Not only has it not gotten be fired, but it has made me one of the most qualified carriers in the office. :)

  4. Reading this reminded me that I need to get more test strips to test my blood, so thank you I have gone and added that to my shopping/to do list for tomorrow. Next what if the person buying the grog is like in their 50's or older do they need to have their ID checked or is it just young looking people, how old do you have to be to buy grog here you have to be 18 and you only get asked for ID if you look younger then a 18

    1. According to Laurie, she only has to card if they look young 20ish or younger. State law here is 21.