So I'm sitting here Tuesday afternoon, weighing my options on watching my sugar (Doctor: new medicine, glucose meter, LOSE THE DAMN WEIGHT) while drinking a Pepsi (in my defense, a 20 oz bottle that I have been sipping on for the last 7 hours) and recovering from a prostate "where's Waldo" that coulda found the food I'll eat tomorrow, and reading my News 360 feed. And it struck me, I could talk about this crap, and it might be cathartic and entertaining, and I might just stumble upon a reason to remain on this earth until my next exam in January.
So, here goes.
ITEM: The FDA has removed "four major brands" of cigarettes from the domestic market for not being up to code. You can decide if "Camel Crush Bold, Pall Mall Deep Set Recessed Filter, Pall Mall Deep Set Recessed Filter Menthol and Vantage Tech 13" qualify as "major brands". Youse guys lined up at the fence in Hungary, keep lighting up.
ITEM: Asylum seekers continue to build up at said Hungarian border with Serbia, as Hungarian forces put up razor wire discouragers and the two governments involved continue to play blind man's ping-pong with the poor unfortunates. Can't blame Hungary: Every country with an acre abutting Germany has also slammed the door shut, as has Germany after Munich cried uncle on Sunday. Migrants are said to be holding up "Shame on Europe". signs. Screw that, shame on YOU! Go back and help make YOUR OWN nations something other then the festering holes they are, instead of abandoning ship and making someone else's country a festering hole. The EU is now trying to demand that every member state take a quota of these people, to which Hungary, the Czech Republic, Slovakia, and Poland have said, "DIY", as they have no interest in moving from hole to festering hole status.
As these are mainly Muslim refugees (as opposed to the Christians who were left to die in Syria, Iraq, and Egypt), I say, why not stay in the lovely Muslim nations of Turkey, Kosovo, or Bosnia that you passed through on the way to Hungary? Oh, right, they're festering holes too. Funny how that works.
ITEM: " Secretary of State John Kerry has made his third phone call to his Russian counterpart in the last 10 days, a State Department official said, seeking to clarify the intent of Moscow's military buildup in Syria..." Uh, John, try looking up the years 1945-1989. I know they didn't teach the facts where YOU went to school, so it might help you understand. Or not.
Maybe your buddy Al Gore can help you. He invented that internet thing...
ITEM: "During a town hall Tuesday, Chief Executive Mark Zuckerberg said Facebook is responding to years of demand from users who simply aren't satisfied with the "like" button alone. Zuckerberg didn't confirm whether the feature would officially be called "dislike" or specify when it would be rolled out. " Wow, maybe I found that reason...
ITEM: GE announces 500 jobs going overseas, claims it's Congress's fault. Oh, because taking that extra mouthful of refritos away from Pedro every week can be more efficiently done in Mexico because of Congress? You realize when you stand before the Lord, that won't cut it as an excuse...
ITEM: Taco Bell is moving into opening "Cantinas", serving an expanded menu along with alcohol. Yeah, tacos AND wine? For me, they better put Kaopectate in their fun meals.
ITEM: "North Korea said on Tuesday its main nuclear complex was operating and it was working to improve the "quality and quantity" of weapons which it could use against the United States at "any time." " Yeah, well when they annex Santa Barbara so they can hit the US of A with anything other than an e-mail attack, I'll get right to worrying.
"(Ass't. SecState Daniel) Russel said North Korea should "unclench its fist" and the only path open to it was through international negotiations to ensure denuclearization of the Korean peninsula."
I didn't think that's what they had clenched, but whatever.
ITEM: Oh, yeah, and the one I forgot about from last night. Mexico is demanding an apology from Egypt after forces hunting down potential terrorists bombed a convoy of Mexican tourists. The phrase "Only in America" means less every day...