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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.

SOCK IT TO ME BABY!!!

Monday, December 28, 2015

Martin World News



ITEM:  I guess the first thing that need to be addressed is the word, "VERIFY."

ver·i·fy
ˈverəˌfī
verb
make sure or demonstrate that (something) is true, accurate, or justified.
"his conclusions have been verified by later experiments"


Okay, so now that we are clear with that, I would like to ask the denizens of FB, why is it that the last two days I have seen announcements of the deaths of people who died three years ago, murders committed last year, a blizzard that hit in 2012, and coupons from Kroger that will give you 40% off your next thousand purchases of anything?  The one thing that makes me more upset than the "If you love Jesus/are my friend/want to win millions, just like and repost- no, wait, copy and paste it, don't repost or the world will tumble into armageddon" crap is old/outdated/false items purporting to be news that can be fact-checked for correctness just as easy as being reposted without really reading or thinking.  Rant done;  Wake up, America!



ITEM:  Why Laurie and I don't sleep together, reason number 567:

St. Lucie, FL- According to a police report, around 3:30 a.m. Dec. 11, an officer responded to a domestic battery call at a home in Port St. Lucie.  The officer said a man at the home stated he was lying in bed with his wife when he passed gas. The husband said he wife, identified as Dawn Meikle, 55, then began elbowing him on his arm.  The husband said he continued to pass gas and Meikle continued to elbow and kick him again.  He told police that he began restraining his wife for his own safety but her "lip was inadvertently split open," according to the report. During the fight, police said the husband suffered several 6- to 8-inch scratches across his chest.   His shirt was also ripped in three different places.   Meikle admitted to police that she began to elbow and punch him after she repeatedly told him to stop passing gas in bed.  She also said her lip became split only while trying to be restrained and not from a punch.

Meikle was charged with domestic battery and taken to the St. Lucie County Jail.

Thanks to one of my FB friends for sending this one to me.  NOTE:  Reason #567 Laurie and I don't sleep in the same bed is nothing close to reason #1 I don't sleep with Dawn Meikle:



ITEM:  Since I know moist of my Indiana peeps already have run into this, this goes out to the rest of you.

There was a historic metal strut bridge near Paoli, Indiana.  Read: was.

On December 25, 2015, on or about 1200 hours, Mary Lambright, 23 year old female from Fredericksburg, Indiana was driving a 2015 Volvo Semi Truck with a 53 foot box trailer containing 43,000 pounds of bottled water. Ms. Lambright stated her intentions were to park her semi in the parking lot of the Paoli Wal-Mart. Lambright entered the square from East Main Street and missed the exit heading to Wal-Mart and exited onto West Main Street. Ms. Lambright then turned left onto Southwest 1st Street in an attempt to turn around. She travel down Southwest 1st and turned left onto South Gospel Street. She made several attempts to turn left on to South Oak Street but was unsuccessful. Ms. Lambright was aware of a parking lot further north on South Gospel Street and determined she could turn the truck around in the lot to get back to Southwest 1st Street. When she approached the parking lot she discovered it was full of heavy equipment and could not use it to turn around. Ms. Lambright was aware of the iron bride stating she had driven on it several times in her personal vehicle and was also aware of the posted signage “no semis, weight limit of 6 tons”. When asked by Paoli Police why she continued through the bridge knowing the weight limit was only 6 tons she admitted to not knowing how many pounds that was. She was advised the weight of the vehicle at the time of the crash was close to 30 tons. Ms. Lambright stated she wasn’t comfortable backing the semi up and made the decision to try to go through the bridge. When the semi entered the bridge the trailer immediately began ripping open due to the trailer was taller than the top of the bridge. As the vehicle continued the weight of the vehicle caused the bridge to collapse. Ms. Lambright and her 17 year old female cousin, who was also in the vehicle, exited the vehicle and were unharmed. Ms. Lambright received her CDL endorsement on 5/12/2015. She currently works for Louisville Logistics out of Louisville, Kentucky. The vehicle and trailer were hauled to Wilcox wrecker service out of Salem, Indiana and is being held pending an inspection by the Indiana State Police.
Agencies/Companies involved in this incident are;
Paoli Police, Orange County Sheriff Department, Paoli Fire and Rescue, Paoli Town employees, IU Health, Wilcox Wrecker Service, Hankins Corvette Sales, and Kendell Trucking
Ms. Lambright is cited for the following;
Indiana code 9-21-8-50, reckless operation of Tractor-Trailer, a class B misdemeanor
Indiana code 9-21-8-41, disregarding a traffic control device, a class B infraction
Indiana code 9-20-7-1, overweight on posted bridge.




So let's sum this up:  A 23-y-o adult didn't know that 43,000 pounds might possibly be more than 6 tons, and because of that, a 100-y-o bridge is destroyed.  You see why I so love stupidity?  Because it can so easily be overcome, you cannot have stupidity without plain laziness.  Enjoy your next career, Mary.


ITEM:  Driving fun in Manitoba (that's in Canada, Mary):

Royal Canadian Mounted Police arrested a man in his 30s and charged him with impaired driving, resisting arrest and refusing a breathalyzer after he wrecked an ice rink in Manitoba on Saturday, CBC reports.

The incident happened during the second intermission of a game in Ste. Anne.

"On his first lap he struck the gate where the Zamboni drives onto the ice, and broke the boards and also broke pieces off the actual Zamboni," Martin Kintscher, manager of the Seine River Snipers bantam team, told CBC. "One piece got stuck under the Zamboni, which left a ridge on the ice with every lap."

Authorities arrived and arrested the man, who was not identified. But the Zamboni driver insisted that the rink was in great condition.

Kintscher said officials canceled the game and they told the 13 to 14-year-old boys on the team that the driver “had issues” and “maybe he is impaired.”  Ya Think?


ITEM: Perhaps Mary and the Zamboni driver might want to take some driving lessons; perhaps in the Netherlands...


Driving instructors in Holland can trade lessons for sex, cabinet ministers reportedly declared.
After debate over the controversial practice came up in a recent parliament meeting, minister of security and justice Ard van der Steur and infrastructure and environment minister Melanie Schultz van Haegen gave their interpretation: Offering driving lessons for nookie did not equal prostitution "since sex was not being sold," Dutch News reported. But the opposite, a student offering sex for driving lessons, was a no-no.
A story in USA Today noted that while prostitution is legal in the Netherlands, opponents of the so-called "ride for a ride" trend feared the income from a prostitution-branded arrangement couldn't be taxed because the escort would not be properly licensed.
The ministers conceded the barter was "undesirable" but reiterated it was legal, Dutch News said.
As long as the instructor makes the deal, two consenting adults have the green light to enter into such a bargain.
"It is important that the initiative lies with the driving instructor and focuses on offering a driving lesson, with the payment provided in sexual acts," they wrote in a letter to parliament, per the Telegraph.

Somehow I feel there is a very flawed logic going on here.  Lotta teachers here in the US ofA could get out of statutory rape charges by applying THAT logic, just sayin'.


ITEM:  Of course, there are things that wouldn't be covered by the "ride for a ride" classes.  One of which happened to Covington PD Officer Lance Benjamin.  As he patrolled one night, something came in his open window and hit him in the head, causing him to crash into a ditch.  At first he thought someone threw a football into his car (helluva shot), but when he switched the flashlight on, he saw...


...that's right, an owl had flown into the car and bonked him.  He exited the car, called for backup, and after forty-five minutes just hanging out, the owl finally flew away.  Apparently, he was not charged.


ITEM:  Speaking of the men in blue, let's take a look at some of the MENSA candidates they rounded up recently:

Waynesboro, VA:
The Waynesboro Police Department said Kyle Dustin Head, 24, of Waynesboro, is believed to have been under the influence of marijuana early Thursday when he called 911 and asked a dispatcher to bring him rolling papers.

Two officers were dispatched to Head's location and he was found sitting in a parked 2005 Chevrolet pick-up truck.

The officers detected the odor of marijuana and "noticed the green leafy substance on Head's clothing, the dash board of his truck, the passenger seat and in his right ear."

Police did speculate as to how marijuana ended up in the suspect's ear, but the situation led them to announce a "pot head named Head has pot on head" in a news release.

Head allegedly told officers he had thought he was calling a friend when he asked the 911 dispatcher to bring him papers.

Head was cited for misdemeanor marijuana possession.


"Uh, wait... you aren't the Zig-Zag Man..."

Next up, from the Mary Lambright school of math:

CHRISTCHURCH, New Zealand, Dec. 21 (UPI) -- The owner of a New Zealand restaurant said a man who stole a tip jar containing $6.77 forgot to take his food, which he had already purchased for $9.82.

Security camera footage posted to Facebook by Nando's Riccarton restaurant in Christchurch shows the man putting the tip jar which contained about $6.77 -- 10 in New Zealand dollars -- in his bag.

The suspect was confronted by owner Yateen Lallu after the man spent a few moments in the bathroom before the empty tip jar was discovered on the restroom floor.

"I said to him 'there's our tip jar', and he said 'it wasn't me, it must have been someone else'. I said 'are you sure? Are you telling the truth?' And he told me to check his bag and check the security cameras and I started to doubt myself," Lallu told Stuff.co.nz.

He said the man fled while he was reviewing security footage.




Tip to criminals #35:  If you're there to rob, don't stop for a bite.

Next up, just to prove it isn't just the poor "stereotyped" thugs in Fort Wayne who have Moms that will say anything to stand up for them:

A Chicago man on home monitoring for possessing what police said were meth-making materials, who wore a meth-related t-shirt in his booking photo, and who was found again with alleged meth-related paraphernalia was only making wine, his mom said.

“He had winemaking equipment,” Jan Kowalski told The Chicago Tribune.

Still, Daniel Kowalski, 23, pleaded guilty Friday to two drug possession charges and was sentenced to two years of probation and 30 hours of community service.


Uh, Mom, just for the record, wine is a DRINK.  Unless he really doesn't know what he's doing, I don't think he was drinking what he was making.  Just sayin', again.

Finally, just to show that Mike Tyson still influences our nation:

A Minnesota woman took a page out of Mike Tyson’s playbook when she bit off her husband’s ear during an argument on Friday, according to a statement of probable cause by The Smoking Gun.

Jamie Elrod, 37, of St. Cloud, faces a first-degree assault charge, the St. Cloud Times reported. Her husband has not been identified except by the initials J.D.E. in the probable cause document.

The couple had allegedly been out drinking and Elrod “had a hairy buffalo drink and she gets out of hand when she has those.”

The pair began arguing about beer and, when J.D.E. walked into the bedroom, Elrod followed and allegedly attacked him.

When police arrived, they found blood in the kitchen, blood spattered on a bedroom wall, blood on Elrod’s left hand and on her clothes. Part of J.D.E.’s ear was missing and “a piece of an ear” was found in a bedroom at the apartment.

J.D.E. initially claimed he was in a fight downtown, but then told police his wife tore off a portion of his ear.

“The defendant appeared intoxicated as the defendant was lethargic, had glossy eyes, and the strong odor of alcohol was coming from her breath,” the probable cause statement said. “When asked what happened to J.D.E.’s ear, the defendant stated she had no idea.”

A review of subsequent jail phone calls, however, shows Elrod telling her mom a different story.

“When J.D.E. reached for her, she bit his ear. When J.D.E. pulled back, she ripped his ear off,” the statement said. “The defendant can also be heard telling her ‘mom’ to contact J.D.E. and make sure he does not talk to the police.”




Finally, just to cleanse our minds a bit, I have before me the top dog breeds, and this year's top dogs names.  Let's start with the breeds...

10- Beagle...

TEN?  Really?  WTH....

9- Cane Corso (I don't know what it is, but it looks big, ugly, and nothing like Lee Corso...

Well, usually...
8- Pomeranian
7- Pug
6- Labrador retriever
5- French Bulldog
4- Chihuahua
3- Rottweiler
2- Shih Tzu
1- Golden retriever

And the top names...

10- Tucker
9- Bear
8- Duke
7- Toby
6- Rocky
5- Jack
4- Cooper (I know a Cooper)
3- Buddy (I knew a Buddy)
2- Charlie (I had a Charlie)
1- Max

No SCRAPPY?  You people are on my last nerve today...



6 comments:

  1. Ok this left me thinking what the hell, also thought if you can't park it don't drive it and if you can't judge height or distance you should not be driving a bloody truck

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    Replies
    1. Jo-Anne I love you. I could never marry you, but I love you.

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  2. Chris:
    ---America wake UP???
    Most of them don't even KNOW they're ASLEEP!
    (we need a louder ALARM CLOCK - (wait, isn't that called socialism and Islamic Extremism?)
    ---Wifey has restless leg syndrome, and I am a light sleeper (I wake for noise...and usually reach for a pistol)
    That's MY reasons, but I admire yours and isn't that woman worth chewing one's arm off to get AWAY from her?
    ---I said the same thing to Wifey. Makes a GOOD argument that MATH is apparently NOT being taught in the manner that WE learned in school.
    MEASUREMENTS was part of ELEMENTARY school arithmetic...go figure.
    ---Ice rink, driving lessons...FLAWED LOGIC doesn't BEGIN to cover the level of moronic behavior, my friend.
    ---I can see why that owl wasn't charged. It as just a misdemeanor "trespass"...no breaking and entry, and it was the officer's choice to pursue any "battery" charges...heh.
    ---They ought to start pitting mouse traps in those tip-jars.
    ---Yeah, and I ALWAYS put pseudo-ephedrine and lithium batteries in MY WINE, too...LOL.
    ---Not gonna touch the ear-biters (zombiefied)
    ---Golden Retriever...used to have one named SANDY...great dog.
    Makes me wonder about the "top" names, though...highly SEXIST (where';s da WOMEN-FOLK?) They stop making FEMALE DOGS, or is this a gender-neutral thing for canines?

    Good report.

    Stay safe up there, brother.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And there's the other thing I missed that I myself wrote- ALL MALE NAMES! I wonder if that is an actual gender choice thing, or if female dog owners have a lot more variety in their naming. Surely worth $1 million of our money to do a government study, lest we are being unfair to the bitches... er, the female dogs.

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    2. And there's the other thing I missed that I myself wrote- ALL MALE NAMES! I wonder if that is an actual gender choice thing, or if female dog owners have a lot more variety in their naming. Surely worth $1 million of our money to do a government study, lest we are being unfair to the bitches... er, the female dogs.

      Delete