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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.

SOCK IT TO ME BABY!!!

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Weight loss, no sense of humor, and attack of the moles

So first off, we had our Thanksgiving Friday after I got off work.  Laurie did her usual magnificent job with the bird, Jessica whipped out a mean corn casserole, KC did a good job on a tater-tot casserole, and I ate like a madman.  (At about the same time Laurie was saying, "No second helping for me," and KC was re-assessing the size of his second plate, I was elbows-deep in my third- a plate only marginally smaller than the first two.  Which brings up a funny (to me) story.  A couple years ago, when my doctor was all over my arse about my weight  suggesting I should lose a few pounds, I bought us a new digital scale- as the needle-model we had was both hard to read and of questionable accuracy.  Before showering after work that day, I had the lowest reading since I bought the scale- lower, even, then when I was sick last spring and couldn't swallow.  So I came downstairs, and announced:


"I'm at my lowest weight that scale has ever had me at."

(Pause...)


"BOOM!!!"

KC:  "What do you mean, 'boom'?"

ME:  "I mean that's getting blown apart in mere moments!"


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Sunday I got involved in a FB discussion that brought up my total inability to deal with or comprehend people with no sense of humor.  It all started when a friend put up a meme about a den of hillbillies a small town in the meth capitol of Indiana a county north of us.  Certain allegations in the meme bent a women from said small town all out of shape.  She even fought a statistical battle to prove the (meant as a joke) meme wasn't accurate.  It got really stupid, and I exited with what I thought was the one response I should have given the woman in the first place:

"Mizzou grad?"

Followed by:



I am not good with people who can't at least just scroll away from a joke.  I was raised to find things funny.   One of my fondest childhood memories was my Mom's total inability not to laugh at her own farts.  She'd sneak one out and try to keep it to herself.  But as soon as the smell hit her nose, her belly would "shake like a bowlful of jelly", and the proverbial $#!t-eating grin would curl her mouth.  My sister would look up, scream something along the lines of, "Scatter!", and we would do just that as Mom's dammed up laughter burst out.

I used to work as a security guard at a steering wheel plant on its last legs a well-known automotive industry supplier.  To entertain myself and others, I used to do cartoons of my fellow guards and post them on the key box.  One cartoon featured a certain guard who was due in for his shift, and another guard asked me if he had arrived yet.  The next few panels showed his typical last minute screeching entrance into the parking lot and into his spot.  The final panel had me saying, "Yup".  The day after I posted it, I found it in the trash.  I put it back up and found it in the trash, with a note that "I don't find this funny, and don't want to be in any cartoons."  Cry me a river, dude.

I have no inkling how one is raised to be this way, and really don't understand how someone could live their life like that.  There was another guy whom I used to engage in FB "discussions" with, that had a similar take.  He told me, "I have a very good sense of humor.  In fact, my wife and I write for screenplays."


Now I understand why, with the possible exception of The Big Bang Theory, there's nothing out there that can get me to laugh more than 3 times in a half-hour.  It's all too highbrow for my hillbilly unsophisticated tastes.


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And now, Monday pictures...

Except for this one from Sunday, the blue jay who said, "Let me serenade you..."

Scrappy investigating the Green Hole..

...seasonally adjusted to brown.

It's a bit hazy today... I wouldn't be a bit surprise if we get that freezing fog tonight!

Checking out the mud flats




I wasn't intending to climb down there... somebody PULLED me down...

"Who, me?"

The highlight of his walk- the moles must have been close to the surface.  He ran in circles, nose in overdrive, his tail but a blur.



11 comments:

  1. I run into to trouble with humorless people all the time. That's what comes of being both painfully sarcastic and the child of English and Irish parents.

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  2. I'll just bet this won't come as a surprise:
    I've gotten into many arguments with people who took issue with a joke I made about this or that. Good glory, I wonder how some folks can sit with that corn cob shoved up their behinds.
    In fact, right now, a friend of mine (who I haven't seen in years) and I are enjoying the bejeezus out of ridiculing one such woman on Facebook (I know you know how much I love jumping on there!). The lady has absolutely no sense of humor, but that hasn't stopped us from launching all sorts of barrages at here. It really doesn't seem fair, though.
    She probably has trouble sitting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All kinda ways to make oneself a target.

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  3. I couldn't agree with you more about what's on TV these days. It's just not that funny to me. As you know I have a sense of humor, my home growing up was humorous and I can't imagine not having that. I feel sorry for anyone who does not have a good sense of humor. Laughter is the best medicine!

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    Replies
    1. Thank God for Antenna TV and the like. If it weren't for reruns, NCIS and Doctor Who, I'd just get the sports package and dump basic...

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  4. Chris:
    Now you know another reason WHY I refrain from FB...LOL.
    Hey, I've been everything short of being a "class clown" since high school.
    Been told MANY times that I "have a JEWISH sense of humor" and, I take that as a very nice compliment.
    I do admire he BRITS and their "dry" humor as well.
    That aside, there will ALWAYS be those times when "one man's humor is another man's slight".
    In my book, that's on THEM.

    There are just as many things in life to TAKE SERIOUSLY as there are things to TAKE AS LIGHTLY AS POSSIBLE.
    Thing is, some folks blur the lines between the two (again, that's THEIR issue, not mine).

    I can appreciate ALL types of humor and being able to laugh at oneself has got to be near the top of that list.

    Very good pictures.
    That grassy fields near IPFW are STILL so green...wow. Amazing.

    Good post.
    Stay safe up there, brother.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Laughing at oneself was self-defense in high school...

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  5. I have a coworker that sits next to me and he has zero sense of humor. Yet he thinks he does. He gets butthurt every week! The rest of my team are jokers and you have to have thick skin.

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    Replies
    1. Maybe some butt-creme for Christmas... oh, he prolly has some at home.

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  6. Hi, Chris!

    I'm stuck like glue to you and it's mainly because you have a great sense of humor. Humor has the power to unite or divide people. In seminar training I learned the following principle: "The meaning of your communication is the response that you get." The exact same material can be greeted with laughter and applause when presented to one group and anger and aggression when delivered to a different type of audience. You and I have built up a considerable amount of what I call friendship equity by using humor on each other's blogs and simply by being there for each other, being supportive and honoring an unspoken commitment to set aside differences and focus on having fun.

    I love to watch Scrappy sniffing his way through your walks in the wilderness. He's one lucky pooch to have a daddy who obviously enjoys the outings as much as he does.

    Happy Wednesday, good buddy Chris!

    ReplyDelete