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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.


Monday, April 11, 2016

Chris's A to Z halfway mash-up

I, as in "I am not really participating..."

As usual, I am only participating in the annual A to Z challenge with two posts at the midway and the end.  I'm posting it today, even though this is "I" day because M day is Friday, which is Time Machine day.   This year, I kinda struggled with a topic, until it hit me that it was staring right at me.  You see, my usual deal is to come up with a subject (like last year's "Scrappy") and google subject and whatever letter I'm on, to see what the Google gods give me to put there.  This year, I thought I would feature our oh-so-Presidential candidates taking turns- including John Kasich, who thinks he's still in it but isn't, and Marco Rubio, who says he's out of it, but can't seem to pry his fingers off his delegates.  So without further ado:

Donald Trump, A:  We come up with "age" in his case 69.  In addition to some very odd and hopefully unseen sexual connotations, I also found out that 69 was also his unfavorable percentage in a recent AP poll.  And there seems to be a lot of mileage to the meme concept that David Bowie and Allan Rickman died this year at the age of 69, "so maybe there's hope."  Just in case you didn't realize that the opposition to Trump can be as tasteless and idiotic as he can be.

Hillary Clinton, B:  Surprisingly, the first thing that came up was Buffalo.

Okay, I do see the resemblance...

Ted Cruz, C:  Ted Cruz must be the most humorless internet presence of all the candidates, as I struggled both times for him.  C gave me Campaign- and like an idiot, I hit the "I'm feeling lucky" button, and it sent me to his campaign site.  And. It. Wouldn't. Let. Me. Off.

Bernie Sanders, D:  Dank 
Also an expression frequently used by stoners and hippies for something of high quality.
That burritos was dank, man. 
or... That burritos was the dankness.

Well, Bernie is apparently the King of dank.

In a Facebook group called “Bernie Sanders’ Dank Meme Stash” — dank meaning quality, in old-school stoner-speak — a staggering 300,000 supporters have gathered to edit the candidate’s wild-haired visage into video games, comic books and movie scenes.

John Kasich, E:  Endorsements is the Kasich game.  One of the endorsements I saw was from Butch Otter, the governor of Idaho.  And you know where MY mind went.

How a politician can succeed with THIS name, I don't get.

Marco Rubio, F:  Football, believe it or not, was Marco's game.  He apparently played for his single season at Tarkio College.  Tarkio, in the very NW corner of Missouri, was crushed by his transfer (for homesickness, I'm told, that and cold weather);  they shut down operations the next year.  Well, actually a bankruptcy caused by a Nation-leading 80% student loan default rate might have had more to do with it.

Trump, G:  GIFs.  Trump rules GIFs like Bernie rules dank Memes.  My favorite- well, I just can't, because this is a family show.  (If you wanna see it, google "Trump purple penis GIF".)  But a close second was splattered across Facebook recently:

Clinton, H:  Apparently there was a controversy over Hillary's height.  Fortunately, someone put together a video to end the discussion:

Cruz, I:  Again, I was unable to dig up more than Indiana was one of the five states that tried to do the "birther" thing and sued to keep Ted off the ballot just because he's a Cubo-nadian-American.  Hopefully he'll be more fun in part two...

Sanders, J:  Oddly enough, J stands for Jesus.  Why?  Because noted atheist and Jesus expert Neil DeGrasse Tyson believes that the Lord would vote for Bernie out of this bunch.

"It's only kosher..."

Kasich, K:  He was Kung Fu Fighting...

Rubio, L:  Rubio encountered some problems at the outset- with his campaign logo:

Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Florida) on Monday announced a long-expected bid for president. His campaign's logo, however, struck some design experts as a little rushed.

Karl Gude, a graphics professor at Michigan State University and a former graphics artist at Newsweek and the Associated Press, told Business Insider, for example, that the America dotting the "i" in Rubio was missing Alaska and Hawaii.

"The map feels like an afterthought," Gude said. "He just lost the Alaska and Hawaii vote."

Trump, M:  This one speaks for itself:

And you wondered why it was called Monsters, INC....

That's it for the first half, tune in in a few weeks!


  1. That gif is almost as funny as this:



    1. I really wish I coulda went with the Purple Trump GIF...

  2. This was rather sad... very much like my feelings about this Presidential election. So, I guess it was right on target.

    1. Sad? But it was funny... at least Bob thinks so...

  3. Chris:
    ROFL - Beats me why you do this...but I LOVE it.
    Some of the funniest sh...uh, STUFF I've read in a while.
    (you trying to unseat the "A Beer For The Shower" guys?)

    In a word - BRILLIANT!
    Can't wait for Part Deux.

    Stay safe up there, brother.

    1. I do this because I have been encouraged several times to do the A to Z, and haven't the wherewithal to do it the correct way...

  4. My favorite was the resemblance of Cruz being from the rock Christian band Stryper.

    1. Hmmm.... hopefully I'll hit Cruz on S so I can use it.... sure beats any of the Cruz stuff I hit so far...

  5. That Trump and Bernie Sanders GIF never fails to crack me up.
    As you'll find out in my "T" post, Donald Trump has been designated by me as comedy gold (coming in close was ole reliable, Idiot Joe).

    1. You really should try that purple GIF...