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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.

SOCK IT TO ME BABY!!!

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

The day of the bunyip



The bunyip is a large mythical creature from Australian Aboriginal mythology, said to lurk in swamps, billabongs, creeks, riverbeds, and waterholes. -wiki

Bunyip, by CW Martin, is one of a group of mischievous spirits (see also brownies, kobalds, gremlins) which haunt our factory.  They were encouraged in their debauchery when the plant manager ignored my requests to sprinkle the area the cutter machines were being moved to with holy water.  My scoreboard is labeled "the Bunyip Board" in their honor, and they were DARN active today.

Among the delightful carnage they caused today:

- At least three prototypes that required a patch of non-woven patch fabric were sent out to the floor without putting the non-woven makers into our systems.

-One engineer came out and asked me if the multi-ply cutter (commonly known as that POS) had been used since we moved it.  When I told him it had, he was confused.  Apparently, he was trying to load a new marker for carpet (we make carpet pieces for boats as well) and the system told him- incorrectly- that his pattern was "too wide for the table".  He said he then tried just re-processing an old one, and got the same thing.

- my cutter decided that the drill bit (used for putting guide holes in fabric) was going to jam up- several times.

-The pause button, part one (see yesterday's post):  I was at the control pad, trying to free a snag.  I called the machine a b!tc#, and it paused without being touched.

-The pause button, part two:  It froze in the middle of a pattern for no reason about a half hour later.  I called the maintenance guy; he borderline fondled the faulty button, and away it went.  "Always works for me," he said.

-Another prototype came to me that would not cut- it gave me the dreaded "too wide for the table" error.  After four attempts to fix it, the engineer in question still hadn't figured out just what the problem was- all though we had managed to move the location of the error from "between 0.0 and 328.87" to "between 0.0 to 427.85" to "between 0.0 and 310.28" to "between 0.36 and 246.45".  He suggested the problem might be with my machine, and asked me to try the other one.  It changed it to "between 0.36 and 245.45".  Finally, his last message was, "This problem won't be solved today."  Ya think?

- A "HOT" cover was brought out to us, with both fabric and non-woven.  I cut the fabric; my partner found that the non-woven marker was yet again not in the system.  Which ended up okay, because the lady who issues the orders had made a boo-boo, and the cover in question wasn't the 36774 she first gave me, but a 36674, which doesn't even need non-woven.  Still, it wasn't a good thing that we didn't have the non-woven marker for the cover we didn't need, because if we ever need it, we don't have it.

-Later, the lady who used to be my boss before the move, came out and said she was so mad at the second engineer.  Earlier in the day, she had discovered an earlier prototype had a wrong designed part, and as usual he argued about it.  "Wow, that explains why he was so nice messaging me about the messed up proto,"  I said.  "He's already been chewed out once!"  Knowing that usually the plant manager has to talk to him about his seemingly arrogant attitude.

"I HOPE he has," She replied.

-Finally, the plant manager comes over to get a label.  "YOU need to do something," I exclaimed.  "I don't know what you did to piss off the Broccoli gods, but you better appease them quick!"

"Why?"

"The glitches are running rampant today!"

"What glitches?  Is it your machine, or your computer?"

"They're EVERYWHERE!"




"Well, you probably don't want me to eat any broccoli NOW... but I AM going to (our biggest customer) tomorrow..."

"Good!  Kill two birds with one stone!"

15 comments:

  1. Chris:
    ---Gee, I remember a BUNYIP being more like THIS:
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bertie_the_Bunyip

    But I AM from Philly...lol.
    ---I so love the manner in which you have given the machines a "name".
    (and knowing you, they are ALL extremely fitting.
    ---Broccoli gods...LMAO!
    Reminds me of the Bugs Bunny cartoon with that "gremlin"....

    http://looneytunes.wikia.com/wiki/The_Gremlin

    Enjoy and do have a better evening.
    Stay safe & sane up there, brother.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, we had the bunyip convo recently... I really think they are Nixies or Brownies with delusions of grandeur we're dealing with at work.

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  2. We call that the "office elf" at my place of employment. Mostly because if I blame Larry (my boss) instead of the Office Elf, I get yelled at.

    The Office Elf steals enormous files and loses them forever. It breaks the fax machine. It breaks the coffee machine. It hides matrimonial files in the personal injury filing cabinet. It loses checks in excess of $100,000.00. It takes all the bottles of fizzy water out of the fridge and does not replace them, so we end up with only lukewarm fizzy water to drink. The House Elf is a f**king pain the arse.

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    Replies
    1. You should pee in the Office Elf's fizzy water. Might drive him off, y'know?

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  3. And here I thought Olivia Newton-John was the worst thing to come out of Australia.

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    Replies
    1. There are worse things out there in the night than ONJ...

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  4. I think that bunyip cursed machine and I would get along just fine. I also pause when called a b#tch and get revved up when fondled.

    Hope you're doing well in spite of the weirdness.

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, but the Hooterville express is also basically flat and raggedy looking, so you don't have THAT much in common...

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  5. Other than that... it was a perfect day! :)

    See you Friday, good buddy Chris!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As I told Laurie, "The worst day I ever came out smiling from..."

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  6. I believe there are Bunyips in my yard right now...off to get the binoculars...yep, that's them.

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    Replies
    1. Oops, better throw a few more shrimp on the barbie...

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  7. Oh wow!!Those Bunyips are busy little suckers!! How do yall ever make deadlines with that kind of craziness going on? So glad you left smiling though. That's what counts.

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    Replies
    1. We don't- just got OT posted as I left today...

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  8. Yikes, if those were your adventures from yesterday what will the dreaded Friday the 13th bring? Let's hope it's more like a happy holiday for the Bunyips!

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