Follow by Email

What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.


Monday, July 25, 2016

Playing Newspage Go! volume 2

You know, maybe I SHOULD take up Bobby G's offer of a logo for this post.  There are just somedays you can get a lot of material from looking at the headlines themselves!  Shall we...?

STOP #1:  You really want to fight about this NOW?

You may have already marvelled at this story, but you cannot beat it for sheer stupidity.

The scene, a Chinese "safari-type" wildlife park, where you drive through, staying in your car to watch the neat animals.  Emphasis:  STAY IN CAR.  The woman you see in the picture had gotten into an argument with her hubby, who was driving.  She gets OUT of the car, marches around to the driver's door, flings it open to continue her tirade- and gets carried off by that tiger sneaking up behind her.  Bonus, Hubby and her Mom both exit the car to "save her"- mom gets killed, she gets badly mauled.  I don't know if this counts as a "win" for hubby, but I'm thinking if she survives, she'll be a bit less demonstrative when nagging.

STOP # 2:  I have to wonder what the voting requirements in Georgia are...

This is democrat Rep. Hank Johnson, who despite the dissimilarities is almost certainly a relative of former London mayor Boris Johnson.   Johnson, who staked his claim to "stupidest man in Congress" a few years back when he expressed fears that the island of Guam would CAPSIZE if the population grew, did two things that really ought to light up all you Bernie Sanders fans:  Not only did he attend an event for the U.S. Campaign to End the Israeli Occupation, which is kind of the "He Man Woman Hater's Club" for anti-semites; but in his speech he described Israeli settlers in the Palestinian areas as "...almost like termites (who)  can get into a residence and eat before you know that you’ve been eaten up and you fall in on yourself..."

I have friends in the Peach State, and I have to ask you:  Really?  This is the best his district can do?  There has to be somebody, from some party, even a homeless guy like Ft Wayne's own Tommy Schrader, that is better than that.

Won the primary, Dem party asks everyone to not vote for him.

Bonus:  don't feel so bad about making a character judgment error on such a colossal scale, Georgia.  Someone (well, several someones) think enough of Johnson to put him on House Armed Services Committee.  And you all wanna complain about Trump and Hillary...

STOP # 3:  I wouldn't by that ticket from you with Monopoly money

Anyone who STILL thinks a trip to the upcoming Rio Olympics is a good vacation idea, gander this headline:

New Zealand Olympian: I was kidnapped in Rio by men in police uniforms

Yep, this is Kiwi Jiu-Jitsu athlete Jason Lee, who was whisked away by crooks dressed as cops (or possibly cops trying to finally get paid) to a pair of ATMs where he was forced to make large contributions to the local chapter of the Police Benevolent Association.  And his description of how he feels about Brazil now was too good not to share:

“I’m not sure what’s more depressing, the fact this stuff is happening to foreigners so close to the Olympic Games or the fact that Brazilians have to live in a society that enables this absolute bulls*** on a daily basis,” he wrote.

“I was threatened with arrest if I did not get in their private car and accompany them to two ATMs to withdraw a large sum of money for a bribe.

“This place is well and truly f***ked in every sense of the word imaginable.”

Couldn't have put it better myself.  Hope that IOC boss who got Brazil accepted for the honor is enjoying that Petrobras bribe money...  Oh, and that reminds me...

STOP #4:  Test my sample again!  I'm sure I took something...

Another breaking weekend story involved not only the Russian Olympic Team, which missed a total ban from Rio for doping by the skin of their teeth, but the IOC has been going back through samples of the LAST TWO summer games, and found LOTS of people who shouldn't have been allowed to compete, let alone win anything.  At least one medalist, a Bulgarian weightlifter, lost a silver from the 2008 games, with more announcements supposedly on the way.

Meanwhile back at Putin Pharmaceutical,  the Russian swim team lost several members due to past indiscretions, and the Russian Olympic Committee is busy trying to weed out anyone else with a bad test on their records.

And just to get one more good shot at the games in, I was looking to see who else had lost a medal this weekend, and found an article instead about how the Australian team won't be moving into their digs in the Olympic Village anytime soon.  Here's an excerpt of that article:

"...We did a stress test on Saturday, turned on the taps and flushed the toilets, and water came flooding down the walls."

STOP#5: Later, an in-depth report on the dangers of selfie-taking...

No, this one isn't a selfie story, just a tragic shoulda known better.  Macon, GA (what is up in Georgia this week?) News anchor, and soon to have been 25-year-old, Taylor Terrell was wading in a creek  at the TOP of Rainbow Falls when she slipped on an algae covered rock and went over.  Apparently she was "a good deal away" from the edge, but had went into deeper water, and-surprise- the current heading for the edge was going pretty fast.  The drop was 160 feet.  I don't know exactly what the spokesman considered "a good deal away", but this was a combo that one would think a news anchor, with experience in doing PSAs and other warnings, might have been a little smarter about.

Of course, last week we had two men die in California falling off a cliff searching for Pokemon, so I guess we've all checked common sense at the door.

STOP #6:  I'll show you, just watch me...

White Sox pitcher Chris Sale is getting a lot of press lately.  He is one of the top pitchers teams are looking to trade for before the deadline, and the Pale Hose had been asking a King's Ransom for him.  Which would tend to swell anyone's head, much less the already inflated noggin of Sale.  So when Saturday's turn to pitch came, he was a bit miffed because the team was going to wear throwback jerseys that night.  The White Sox have had many uniforms over the years that give good reason never to have a throwback night, and these were no exception.  Apparently, on a normal night, the pitcher gets to choose which unis the team wears (Another head scratchingly stupid rule), but tonight they were forces to wear the infamous collared tops, and Sale said absolutely not.  PR told him,"you have no choice", so he manufactured a choice by taking a pair of scissors and cutting up ALL the throwback jerseys.

Needless to say, Sale didn't pitch that night, and was informed he would be suspended by the team for five games.  Which means, he misses one game- the one Saturday- and returns for his next start.  If I were the White Sox, his jersey that night would be pink with lace embroidery around the collar and an attached pacifier.  But, that's just me.


  1. I almost used the wildlife park lady for a "stupid people" post on my site.

    Funny how they could get in that bad of an argument on an excursion.

    Maybe the tiger was getting even for all of the horrible things done to cats in Chinese kitchens...

    1. I can't imagine what they could have possibly been arguing about to cause an act of such stupidity. I can only believe that a man acting bad enough to make a woman jump out of a car during a safari would have been bad enough to just roll away as the tiger pounced. Given he did not, I can only assume this woman had no brains whatsoever.

  2. Chris:
    WIsh I started making that logo when I said so last
    (S'no problem, my friend...gimme a little time and cross yer fingers)
    ---Yeah, hell...WE even tell people that whenever they drive down HERE to visit us at the "Fortress" - STAY IN YOUR CAR (until you arrive at the end of the Safari Ride!)
    Who likes tossed monkey-poo anyway...or flying bullets?
    ---Current voting requirements:
    Seems to work for a LOT of drivers out there, too these days (present company EXCLUDED).
    ---So Rio (Brazil) has taken a page out of the MEXICAN POLICE handbook now?
    (chapter five - fleece innocent people for money)
    Right up there with street corner children going through your pockets.!
    ---Checked common sense at the door?
    They probably never even saw THAT either!
    ( THUMP! )
    ---Stupid rule indeed.
    There used to be only TWO uniforms (aside from the CLEAN ones and the DIRTY ones) - the HOME uniform, and the AWAY uniform...PERIOD!
    At least they wore the SAME cap ALL season!

    Very good post.

    Stay safe & cool up there, brother.

    1. Of course, the next Brazil story is that the mother-in-law of some Formula One bigwig has been kidnapped and they are asking $36.5 million for her return. New Zealand has a very wise Jiu-Jitsu player, he nailed that country spot on.

  3. I saw that tiger video this afternoon. GOOD GRIEF! Too many people think they live on Disney World.

    1. A lot of them are gathered in Philly this week...

  4. Such a stunning lineup of stupidity! I don't get this whole Pokemon craze.

    1. I can see where there would be an appeal- not sure how that appeal translated to adulthood, though.