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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.


Monday, December 19, 2016

Bad gift ideas

So the local news site had "7 last minute gifts" on their website and I knew I was likely to get at least a chuckle.  You know these last minute suggestions- fruits, nuts, chocolate (always welcome) and the ubiquitous "_ of the Month Clubs".  Now let me say this post should be subtitled, "but their heart was in the right place," but really I'd have to say that if George Soros has a couple of bucks burning a hole in his pockets, he can skip these for me:

GIFT #1:  The Sock Of The Month Club.  No lie, this was their lead-off gift.  Nothing in this world might be as thoughtful, practical, AND disappointing as socks for Christmas.  And this has the potential to remind you of your crappy Christmas haul all year long.

GIFT # 2:  Amazon Prime.  Once again, very thoughtful if you haven't already been a victim of the whole "here's a great shipping deal, and we won't bother to tell you that it signs you up to AP until we start automatically taking the fee from your account" like we have.  Put Laurie in the red and she wasn't even the one who did the original ordering- nor was it HER card that the order was placed on.  But it was on our shared account, so...  thanks but no thanks.

So after those two, I decided it might be worth a look to see what other ill-advised gift ideas were floating around out there.  And here are a few of them.  First, from

GIFT # 3:  The Sky Umbrella.

Apparently inspired by a painting by Rene Magritte, this wonderful gift will have you looking into a clear blue sky in any weather, just as you step ankle-deep into that puddle you'd have missed if you were paying attention.

GIFT #4:  A Peelable stuffed banana.

Yes, you too can avoid the danger of eating wax fruit from the centerpiece this holiday season by consuming plush fruit instead!

GIFT # 5:  For the cheap romantic, suggested a boyfriend in a pinch could order a $12 Lego rose.  Yep, that and a car air freshener...

GIFT #6, from, a deck of cards.

"It's not just a deck of cards, it's endless possibilities and hours of family fun."  Yeah, and while you're telling yourself that, the recipient will be making bets as to which gas station on the way you stopped at.

GIFT #7, from "Time with you".

"YES!  Everyone will appreciate ME..."

Of course, value of the gift will depend on the "you" that is gifted...

I also noticed that had an article on last minute gifts, but I figured that it prolly involved a lot of this:

Now truthfully, all of these COULD be stretched into a reasonable gift, so I went looking for bad gifts, and hit an article on BoredPanda that gave some of the most disastrous gift ideas of all time.  To wit:

- a stepdad's mom who spoke no good Ingles gifted a medical student with a tee that said, " I'm not a gynecologist, but I'll take a look anyway."  Needless to say, the translation was funnier than the shirt.


- an aunt who gave a pop out wooden block set, ages 2-4- to a 14 year old.

-Another aunt who gave those damnable socks to Grandma- who had had both legs amputated years before.

-Yet another aunt who gave a sister a bag of Kroger shredded cheese.

Not sure here if this is a bad reflection on gifts from aunts, or BoredPanda just doesn't like aunts.


  1. Chris:
    ---"Sock of the month club" - WHEW...glad it's a PAIR. By the sound of it, it seemed like only ONE (which is good if you're one leg short, or just had the dryer eat one).
    ---My ONLY contact with AMAZON is purchasing a single ITEM from them, like a book (the kind you actually READ)...pass on the "prime" (Optimus or not).
    ---They USED to have something JUST like that sky umbrella...they were CLEAR PLASTIC, and you could see the REAL sky (if and when it was falling)
    ---Well, that STUFFED banana has ONE saving grace - MORE RUFFAGE...HA!
    ---Number 5 - Nah, gimme a LEGO Captain America or Iron Man, and a bottle of Febreze. I can do way more damage.
    ---If that deck is an OFFICIAL HOYLE one, at least they spent a few bucks. A DOCTOR WHO or MARVEL deck would be even better (and please, no stripper decks).
    ---TIME WITH ME???
    ROFLMAO. They don't make many people that can take THAT on any sort of "long term" basis, although I have no problem with spending time with me.
    ---a CAN of SPAM is always welcome here. All others need not apply.
    ---That 14 yr old that got the 2-4 yr old block set...Wifey can tell you of several teens that would find that a frustrating toy from the
    ---Yeah, but socks can double as thumbless MITTENS...just takes a little imagination...or puppets for the grandkids.
    ---Those bags of cheese go for almost $3 bucks, so there HAD to be some thought to it (perhaps a pizza or tacos?)
    My aunts never gave me any hassles. Ditto for uncles.
    They probably don't make 'em the way they used everything else.

    Good (and funny) post.

    Stay safe and WARM up there, brother.

    1. Ok, so I can put "can of spam and bag of cheese" under "Bob." Got it.

  2. LMAO at the red underwear from Grandma! This is why it pays to shop early. Merry Christmas to you and yours.

    1. I think grandma had a perverted sense of humor...

  3. I'm getting everyone one of these for Christmas:

  4. Even worse would be a "Sock of the Month Club" which delivered only one sock.

  5. What the hell, wouldn't give any of those gifts what are these people thinking

    1. Thank God I wasn't the only one who thought that.