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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.

SOCK IT TO ME BABY!!!

Tuesday, May 30, 2017

And today's subject...

So, in politics this weekend, we had Trump making a less than respectful Memorial Day tweet, Ivanka getting blasted for showing us how to make champagne popsicles, Pat Miller bashing Andrea Mitchell for bashing the SecState's Harley, Kathy Griffin adds her name to the growing list of celebrities who consider President-cide a viable alternative to co-existing, Shep Smith comes out as an open homosexual but closet wisher that he worked for CNN, and a FB friend thought it would be amusing to post an anti-America meme on Memorial Day.  But, wait, because...



Instead of worrying about such feeble-minded BS, I have something much more fun today- the 24 animals MOST likely to kill you!  And at least 23 of them can do it without gun control!  According to CNet, here they are:


24- Alligators

According to the story, vending machines are 13 X more likely to kill you than a gator.  But who swims with a vending machine at Disney World?

23- Sharks

Well, that'll blow a big hole in Discovery Channel's Shark Week, won't it?

22- Wolves

I'm guessing this doesn't include werewolves as the kill-ers and vampires as the kill-ees...

21- Horses

Especially those sneaky little Shetland Ponies.  Never did trust those sneaky buggers.



20- Leopards



LeoPARDS, you idiot!  The cat!


19- Ants


Fire Ants can kill up to 30 people a year- no word on bears with pick-a-nick baskets...


18- Jellyfish

And I am the god of jellyfish... so beware....

17- Bees

Their pretty hard on bears too, I hear...



16- Deer

Car-deer events take out about 130 people every year.  With 65,000 deer hit every year just in New York State, I think we got off easy.

15- Cape Buffalo



They even scare the lions.  Of course, the Packers scare lions too, but that's another dealio....


14- Lions

Okay, so maybe I shouldn't have just made fun of them...


13- Elephants

Pachyderms kill about 500 people a year.  Hopefully, all poachers.

12- Hippos

So think again before fat-shaming one.

11- Crocodiles

Crocs kill almost 77 times more people per year than vending machines.  Take THAT, gators!



10- and 9- Tapeworms and ascaris roundworms

Yuck.  I call bogus.

8- Scorpions

2,000 species of scorps.  Only 30 or so can kill a human being.  But they manage to get over 3,200 a year.  They work harder at it.


7 (tie)- Freshwater snails

I call BS on this one too.  They get nominated for releasing the schistosomiasis bacteria into water, and IT kills you.  But no, bacteria don't make the list, only vectors, Victor.



7 (tie) Assassin Bug

Again, a vector for Chagas' Disease, which he shoulda kept to himself.

7 (tie)- Tsetse Fly

Will we ever hit another one that'll kill you itself?

4- Dogs

Damn straight I will... now get my dinner!

3- Snakes

Snakes claim 50K people per year- and by some stats, maybe one of them is in a snake-handling church.

2- Humans

You knew they'd get to us eventually, right?  Out of 475,000 annually I believe three are committed by the operators of Gerber fabric cutting machines whose bosses are too cheap to get them fixed properly, but that's just a hunch.


And the Numero Uno killer?  It's another vector, Victor...


1- Mosquitos

Most through passing on malaria, though after the swarm that attacked Laurie at Eagle Marsh last summer, I'm not convinced that a few of those one million per aren't just sucked dry.

And there you have it!

11 comments:

  1. Chris:
    ---I heard Pat Miller...loved the Andrea smackdown! (almost as good as Rush).
    ---Shep Smith is gay. Makes sense. John Barrowman is also openly gay (Capt. Jack Harkness - DW)
    ---Anti-America meme/Memorial Day/FB...why does that kind of crap NOT surprise me in the least?
    ---I have known vending machines to fall on people...that does leave a mark.
    ---Yeah, we done good with the deer/car stats!
    ---Well, Barnum & Bailey won't have ANY more elephant on human deaths...wonder why? (liberal agenda)....oh, got it.
    ---Have any vending machines killed any crocs or gators? That's what I wanna know.
    ---Love the AIRPLANE meme...LOL.
    ---Is that REGULAR dogs...or slum dogs?
    (just asking, Scrappy)
    ---With that high a stat, are those snakes packing GUNS?
    ---LOL...somehow, I KNEW you couldn't let that slide w/o taking it back to work. Well done.
    ---That's what we get for doing away with DDT (which killed them skeeters off pretty well).
    We can't effectively kill mosquitoes any longer, OR put murders to death...BUT, we can do a wholesale slaughter of fetuses in the womb...how "noble" a species we've become.
    Very good post (informative, too).

    Stay safe up there, brother.

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    1. I really wasn't expecting any comment on the lead in, but since you brought it up, here's "Why Chris DGAF about the following topics":

      - Trump making ill-considered tweets is so much a part of the "fabric of America" now, I can't imagine why the left wastes their time on them anymore. Note to POTUS: Time you let someone with a little more intelligence than "Breitbart Boy" write your tweets.

      -Ivanka: So what, she gave a recipe for something frivolous on Memorial Day, BFD. I posted about a trip to the zoo- a frivolous trip which I owe the ability to take to those magnificent fallen heroes that won me that right. I celebrate their death by living the life they won for me. If Ivanka wants to do it by making champsickles, so be it.


      - Andrea: It is not any big surprise that AM is a partisan hack. Nor is it a surprise that she's fluff-brained enough to use such easily discredited lies to bash Trump. It did less to say anything about his honesty than it did about her talent level.

      -Shep: My low opinion of him had nothing to do with his possible sexual orientation and has nothing to do with his admitted sexual orientation. I thought he was an overrated stooge then, still do now.

      Griffin: The "shock value" garbage from Trump bashers was old with the teacher who shot paintballs at a Trump poster. Funny how these people never get tired of exposing how hollow their cries of love and co-existance are.

      FB friend: The only reason this made the list was an internal debate. She posted it, I commented "Sigh, whatever", she explained the reasoning behind posting it (which had really very little to do with the real message of the meme), and we worked it out. Later, I mused at work about how it might be a good teachable moment on facts and using just part of the story, and the ability to remember history as it happened and not how it fit your agenda. But after a few minutes, I said, We. Worked. It. Out. Thus, it fell into the category.

      And I DGAF if the vending machine across the street comes over to protest, either. Like most protestors, it only works sporadically.

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    2. And here's another thing: While Trumps MD tweet went on about "losers" and other things with no place, OBAMA tweeted this:

      "Forever grateful for the service and sacrifice of all who fought to protect our freedoms and defend this country we love.


      ...and had a conservative site call it weak-ass because it contained a picture of he and his wife "wandering around the graves" at Arlington. Frankly it blew away the lame tweet of Trump and the lame article about it on the conservative site. And THAT might be the nicest thing you'll EVER hear me say about Obama!

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  2. I missed Shep officially coming out. Did he really say he'd rather be at CNN? If so, that surprises me. He's been with FNC for forever and a day. Hope you have a covfefe day.

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    1. It was more an article about how he has social stands more to the left than his erstwhile employers. And, I had to look up covfefe. Glad I did, LOL! Now I'll be using it too!

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  3. I'm no fan of Trump's, but what Kathy Griffin did is in the worst possible taste. What the hell was she thinking? My first thought was about the effect something like that could have on his young son. Mosquitoes killed more people than humans? That was a surprise. Why do you suppose crocodiles are more prone to killing than alligators? Inquiring minds want to know! ☺

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    1. The story blamed it on crocs living in more remote from civilization areas where people were more prone to get in their way.

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  4. Wait, are you telling me that you DON'T care that Trump tweeted a typo and everyone's jumping all over the word 'covfefe' like it's some kind of hee-larious comedy gold?

    Because this stuff MATTERS, pal. It's, like, a typo. I'm honestly surprised that he hasn't been impeached yet because of this. Unless he gets stomped to death by a Cape Buffalo, first. I mean, it's just playin' the numbers at this point.

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    1. I'll care when they figure out how to pronounce it- or better yet, get Trump to SAY it.

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  5. What Kathy Griffin did with the severed head was just so wrong on many levels that said so many animals could kill you often only if you are stupid enough to tangle with them

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    1. Which says a lot about the alligator-crocodile thing...

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