Wednesday, June 7, 2017
Admittedly I'm not on my best game after whatever the hell it was laid me up most of yesterday. So this is going to be an extremely snark-laden version of, "Well, that's what the headline says, isn't it?" without a lot of, "Well, the truth is..." So in other words, this will be a lot like watching MSNBC, if they were even slightly funny. You'll have to be the judge on whether the emphasis belongs on the "funny" or the "slightly"...
May win no longer a sure bet in UK election after terror attacks
Well, of course not. It's June now, silly!
Cop accused of picking up prostitutes while on duty
Well, if he was picking them up OFF-duty, people would think he was... oh. OH! Headline writer needs to differentiate whether "picking up" means arresting or soliciting.
Gaokao: Why China is eating our students' lunch
Prolly because we got rid of all that healthy crap Michelle O was force feeding grade school trash cans. A bag of chips, a pack of Ding Dongs, who wouldn't want that over today's installment of "365 things to do with rice"?
Woman accused of pulling son’s teeth out with pliers in Walmart bathroom
Only one thing need be said: Utah, not Kentucky. WalMart covers the rest.
Cosby trial: Andrea Constand remains calm as defense grills her
Have they put on the BBQ sauce yet, though?
Global diarrhoea deaths down by a third
Not funny in and of itself, but when I first saw it Friday night, I told Laurie, "No shit..."
Pollution victim sues France for bad air
To which France replied, "You want bad air? Try Beijing..."
Asian nations make plastic promise
Is there nothing they won't make out of plastic and ship to us?
Australia plane evacuated over toilet note
Perhaps the best unintended fart joke ever... Was it a high note or a raspberry?
And finally, a trifecta of CNN headliners that make little sense until taken as a unit:
#1- Harris wants an answer. Senators want her to let it go.
#2- Trump said, 'I hope you can let this go'
#3- Senate intel chairman cuts off senator