First off, I'd like to apologize to the FCS refs that worked the Sam Houston game last Saturday. You guys may have butchered that game every way conceivable, but I still shouldn't have yelled at you so much. Even if I did predict a mistake you made BEFORE you had the chance to make it. But considering you work out of a second level conference in the second level of college football, and the refs in the NFL did just about as bad Sunday, I guess I should have been more understanding.
Moving on, I feel the need to bring up something I listened to a little tiny bit of Sunday night. The BRN runs one kinda "conspiracy theory" show about 10 PM on Sunday (when only me and the guy getting ready for third shift at the guardshack listen), and the topic du jour was how all left wingers are pocket Communists. Perhaps I exaggerate a little, but when they tell you that "All communists keep records of their battles in journals, and at the end of their days they donate them to local libraries so that others of their group can learn from their experiences. And we have found enough of them, with enough secret e-mails, testimonies, and names of high-ups in government, that they know they dare not come after us because they will be exposed..."
And, you're hanging onto those files and not exposing them WHY? Uh-huh.
Just to show ya that I realize there are "Twilight Zoners" on both sides. I just can't understand the REAL communists out there. You really think you can make something good out of the Marxist-Leninist system? A system that depends on the following things to succeed: 1) An absolute rejection of God and any religion; 2) a cadre of intellectuals that are good at convincing people a brick is a loaf of bread; 3) a populace dumb enough to eat the brick; and 4) enough hands on the weapons to get rid of anyone who don't swallow #s 1,2, and 3.
ANY way, let's move onto another head shaker. How about the latest amusing spam e-mail I got? We'll start off with the wonderful, smooth flowing opening salutation:
JP MORGAN CHASE BANK
from mr. james dotson to you,
Because so many bankers forgo "Dear so-and-so" or "to whom it may concern"...
But wait, it gets smoother...
i am mr. james dotson, asst. dir, jp morgan chase bank ny. please read
this mail carefully and proceed to receive your payment worth of
So, 1) we already know who you are; 2) asst. dir. of what, exactly? 3) At this point we have to assume your caps lock is non-functional. 4) my "payment worth"? I really got my payment worth outta that, eh? 5) 19 million payment? Is "payment" some new Nigerian currency I haven't got the memo on yet?
And of course they are handling disbursement for international victims of the usual suspects...
compensation and awarded contract funds and victims who have lost a lot
money to scammer's while trying to claim their funds.
Okay, so let me give them all my info they wanted:
1) full name: Joe Dumpkopf
2) address: 1900 Poopypants Pl
3) phones: just one
4) fax number: (202) 324-3000*
5) your age: 39, (16th consecutive year)
6) current occupation: Making fun of spammer part-time
7) attach copy of your identification : See below
* actually, that's the number for the FBI's National Press Office. Thought they might join in the fun.
So how do we close such a power-packed missive?
please do provide the above information accurately, because this office
cannot afford to be held liable for any wrong payment of funds. thanks
baking with chase bank while we look forward serving you
with the best of our service.
I can't help but stress two particular parts of this ending.
1) provide the above information accurately
2) thanks for baking with chase bank
I can't help but thinking with this "do as I say, not as I do" mentality, that the scammer might well be employed in my company's engineering department, but that's a story for another day. And, that most people don't bake at a bank. If I ever see a bank with an oven, though, I'll be sure to print an apology.
Finally, this won't ever make me shake my head, but I have some pics of the Peanut and his visit saturday for those of you that don't get the "Facebook Times":
|(Moments later Isaiah got his revenge by whapping Dad in the head with a toy mallet after Gampaw told him to play Thor)|
|Gampaw teaching him how to make the car go, BRRRRRRRRRROOOOOM....|
|"Geez, do you believe this old fart?"|