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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.


Friday, December 1, 2017

Time Machine co-ordinates VIXXXI45912164

Today we hit the first of December 1964- the fifth week in a row with no Beatles on the chart (though that would change next week)!  And today, the Soviets took a meeting to trade out "Presumed guilty" for "Innocent until proven" for the first time...   LBJ took a meeting with his advisers to decide on and map out the strategy for bombing North Vietnam... and ML King and JE Hoover took a meeting together to try to "get along", which ended up being pretty short-lived, too...

The "before" picture...

Now as to the Beatles' absence, never fear, for they're in the Panel picks... and ONE of them is in the M10 this week!  Also, why the record company wouldn't let the Animals release their own comps as A-sides; the strange tale of Kenny Hollywood and the song he sang- a song you KNOW, but didn't know had lyrics; and the difference between a hit here and a hit in the UK!  Plus, this is the week- does Mo Kenney join the acts with a 4-week #1?  Will Dent May find happiness?  Will anyone else EVER sniff the top again?  All that and more, plus the Singing Nun, and an interpreter I dug up to do the Panel Picks!  It's the BOMB!  But not THAT one...


Seriously now, I have something I want to bring up.  I found a song the other night I absolutely fell in love with, and darn near debuted it this week.  It has a gorgeous melody, beautiful vocals- and a very disturbing subject matter.  Not offensive compared, say, to thug rap or garbage like that, just... unsettling.  It was a choice of this or another song at #10, knowing full well the loser would gain the chart next week.  Like the true brave heart I am, I made Laurie decide, and she picked the other (which, you shall see, has a very interesting story itself.)

But I want to play it for you too.  It is a new single by a lady who nearly broke in the summer before last, a second generation Indian who lived through being pelted with crap after 9-11 because idiots thought she was Iranian.  But she is a very NYC gal, and generally her tunes are a tad on this side of vulgar (to some), but a lot of fun.  This one is a bit different.  Let me introduce you to... Shilpa Ray...

What say you?


So this week we have the Singing Nun in to go through the panel list, and I had my assistant use the Musical Tardis to pick up both her and an interpreter so's she can do this thing!  Mr. Interpreter, please come in...

GOOD LORD, Nardole, you brought Ben Franklin?

N:  He speaks French...

So does DeGaulle... Good day to you, Mr. Franklin, It's an honor.

BF:  Yes, of course... what is it that you would like me to do again?

Well, I hope my bonehead assistant introduced you to the young lady?

BF: I took that pleasure upon myself... it appears she has taken vows.  Pity, that.

Yes, well, I want you to show her the list I have of songs to be voted on this week, and just have her read them.

BF: Yes, well that may prove a bit of a challenge... she is no longer with us...

WHAT?  Nardole...

N:  Well sir, it seems the esteemed gentleman found himself of a bad case of Weinstein disease, and...

Oh, Good Grief.

N: ...but he has agreed to take her place, to make it up to us.

BF:  It is only fitting... I do think the poor child was a bit undone at meeting me.

Y'think?  Alright, we'll give it a try.  21 songs, 69 stations... and go!

BF:  All right, let me adjust my Bifocals and... whatever is Cashbox?

N:  Remember I told you about the songs, and the charts...

BF:  Oh, my, yes.  All right then, our first song is by ... well, actually, our first two songs are by the unusually- named Elvis Presley.  His song, Ain't That Loving You Baby- is this English?- was at #27 this week; and his song Ask Me was at #11.

Next, we have the Supremes and Baby Love.  Certainly I suspect the term "baby" has acquired a different meaning over the years... this song is at #2, which is quite good.

The next entry is Jay and the Americans (how very patriotic!) and Come A Little Bit Closer at #4.  Not a patriotic song, I take it?

No, not really.

BF:  Hmm.  Then it is the Supremes again with Come See About Me, at #16.  Is this a men's choir?

N: No, sir, it's three African-American ladies.

BF:  Good heavens.  Slaves?

N: No, we don't do that here anymore.

BF:  Good for you.  Ghastly practice.  Why, as a young lad, I...

Um, long list, short show...

BF:  Oh, forgive me.  Let us see...  Ah, the Beach Boys and, er, Dance, Dance, Dance is at #19...

Then it is Little Anthony and the Imperials with Going Out Of My Head.  Surely this is not a satire on King George, is it?

That would be, "no."

BF:  Good, good.  Then it is Herman's Hermits- are these monks?  Some cloisters have very fine...

No, no monks.

BF:  Ah.  At any rate, their song is I'm Into Something Good at # 15.

Next, we have the Beatles- I see that spelling has changed- with two songs, I Feel Fine and She's A Woman.  And my card says that this pair will not reach the chart until next week.  So you can see the future from here, as well as go into the past?

N:  Actually, we're from a good bit farther on...

BF: Ah, nostalgia.  Next comes (Don't Forget) I Still Love You by Bobbi Martin. It was at # 81, but just starting out.  A relative of yours?

No, sir, not that I know of.

BF:  Then come the Larks and.. good heavens, The Jerk?  It is at #26.

N: It's a dance, sir.

BF: Ah, probably associates of those Beach gentlemen from before.  Next, J Frank Wilson and Last Kiss, which was at #8.

The Shangri-Las at # 1 with Leader Of The Pack.  Girl group?

N: Yes!

BF:  Ah, I am getting better at this!  Then the Strangeloves with Love, Love- which apparently at some point peaked at #122 on , ah, Billboard?

N:That's the other chart.

BF: Gotcha!


BF:  Bobby Vinton is at #7 with Mr. Lonely.  Then we go to Lorne Greene with Ringo at #3.

The Zombies are at # 5 with She's Not There...

Sandy Nelson with Teen Beat '65 at... well, it fell from the chart two weeks ago.

The Rolling Stones- one supposes they gather no moss... with Time Is On My Side (how appropriate!) at #9...

And finally, the, er, Kinks were at # 6 with You Really Got Me.  You have this many songs now?  However do you learn them all?

Nobody knows all of them, except Casey Kasem.  Thank you, Mr. Franklin, for a game effort.

BF:  My pleasure.

Nardole, please show Mr Franklin back to 17whatever, would you?  And be in my office in the morning...

BF (As they walk out)  Do you think we might stop by that convent again?  I would like to apologize again to...

N:  I think she ended up liking girls...

BF:  Oh, my!

(Door closes)

Good night, for some good help.  Anyway, that many contestants means you have a still-sizable possibility group to choose from.  Pick from Leader Of The Pack at#1, the uncharted-as yet I Feel Fine, both Supremes hits, Herman's Hermits, Bobby Vinton, the Kinks, the Zombies and... yes, Lorne Greene...

You say that as if it's a bad thing...
No, not bad, just wondering how I'd squeeze you and the boys in here if you won, is all.


So the Foo Fighters were recording their new lp Concrete And Gold, and Sir Paul McCartney stopped in.  David Grohl gave him an acoustic run-down on one of the songs, and he recorded two drum tracks for it ON THE SPOT!  And the result sounds a lot like something that would have come off of Revolver!  With the actual song at #10, here are the Foo Fighters, with Paul McCartney on drums...


Stat Pack Time:

I knew 34 this week.

The #64 in '64 was the falling I'm Crying by the Animals.  This song, coming on the heels of the monster hit House Of The Rising Sun, only got to #19, which made the powers that be decide that any further comps by the band itself would be relegated to B-side status.  It would remain that way for two years until they got a producer with a little more intestinal fortitude.

At #101 was a tune by the Hullabaloos, I'm Gonna Love You Too.  These gents were from Hull (hence the name), and wore bleached-blonde hair and mainly did Buddy Holly covers.

The big mover was Any Way You Want It by the Dave Clark Five.  This one peaked at #14 here despite a jump this week of 30 spots from 62 to 32.  It also hit 25 in the UK.  Which is funny because the B-side, that was never released in the UK was Because, perhaps their most beautiful song, which hit #2 here.  Because, in turn, was to have been the B-side here of Can't You See That She's Mine, which with an eventual different B hit #4 here.


The debut at #9 is the return of the one #1 act I thought never to see again, as finding even a crappy live video of their hit When We Were Good a couple years back was a challenge.  But this one is easy-peasy.  The clip here may be from 2015, but the new EP with it- In The Garden, In The Night- is just out.  Here are- for the second time- Emi Knight and the Strawberry Runners and Garden Hose:


Who was Kenny Hollywood?  Well, real name Kenny Plows, was a snot-nose 15-year old offered fame and fortune by producer Joe Meek.  Meek had played something called the clavioline on the Tornados big hit Telstar, and wrote out some lyrics to it.  The resulting
tune was now called Magic Star, and the only reason it got any notoriety at all was because Kenny kinda sounded like Marc Bolan of T-Rex.

Meeks, however, had all the fame he wanted.  Three UK number ones were recorded in the studio in his apartment:  the aforementioned Telstar;  Johnny Layton's Johnny Remember me in 1961; and the tune that was sitting at #10 without any Panel love.  This tune by a band that included a hair salon owner, his assistant, and her brother- the Honeycombs, with Have I The Right?  This was their one big break.  Other than that, their claim to fame was that Honey Lantree (the assistant) was one of the few female drummers of the day.


The remaining M10:

Stone Temple Pilots up one to #8 with Meadow.

The squeeze at the top is tightening, and like a wet bar of soap, the Shacks squeeze down 2 to 7 with Fly Fishing.

POWERS swims upstream, climbing 4 to #6 with Beat Of My Drum.

Alvvays squeezes out one spot to #5 with Dreams Tonite.

And the top four sound familiar-  Plume Of Feathers with Rhyl Love at 3, Derevs still at 3 with Something Good in its 7th week, Dent May still stuck at two with Picture On A Screen... and that means the latest member of the 4-week #1 club is...

Mo Kenney with Unglued!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can she be the first to break the 5 week barrier?  Tune in next time.  Until then, how's about your guesses? 

Well, Lorne Greene, the Zombies, the Kinks, all got 5.8%....

Both Supremes songs got 7.2%...

The Shangri-Las and the Hermits each got 10.1 %...

The Beatles, despite not being even on the chart yet, got 11.6 %...

And that means this week's winner, with 14,5 %....

Ben Franklin's fellow Pennsylvanian, Bobby Vinton, with Mr Lonely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next time, 1965, the Polish Prince- and NO founding fathers, I hope....


  1. I saw the picture of Martin Luther King and immediately thought of something that's been going through my mind. The country was a balls-up mess in the 60s. Is it just as bad now? Or worse? Or do we view things much more differently than we did 50 years ago?

    1. I think that there used to be a veneer of civility then that is rapidly evaporating now.

  2. Shilpa Ray has an amazing voice. It breaks my heart to know she went through so much after 9/11.


    1. Not only that, but a lot of resistance in her family to a musical career. But she came through strong.

  3. Chris:
    That was a heckuva lead-in...LBJ deciding HOW to bomb the NVs? A decision destined to produce nothing but craters.
    And Hoover v. King...that's a thrilla in Manilla for sure (if it were held there).
    ---Shilpa Ray - not a bad song.
    ---LOL...'ya got Franklin as interpreter...brilliant!
    (gotta love Nardole)
    ---Herman's Hermits...MONKS...:MAO!
    The Franklin banter is the stuff of legend...or SHOULD be. That's was very well presented.
    (hope he gets back to 17whatever, too).
    ---ALL those songs I like...hard to choose.
    ---Never was a Foo Fighters fan (even though I know what a REAL "foo fighter" once was), but I admit, it has have a Revolver lilt to it.
    ---A shame the Animals had such a LAME producer, but glad that HotRS got that song.
    ---Very surprised that the DC5 only got to 14 with that song, too. Always thought they were better than many said they were.
    ---Stawberry Runners - Emi Knight, both song and songstress are keepers.
    ---I do remember the song TELSTAR but not Meeks (at all).
    ---MO still on top? WOW.
    That's getting a bit "close" up there, isn't it?
    ---I SHOULD have gone with VINTON!!! (for my late Mom if for no other reason).
    I took "the monks" (lol)...and LOST (again). Hope Laurie guessed right.

    Excellent ride this week.

    ((BTW - I think AL is on to something. It's a combo of BOTH - I feel it's WORSE now BECAUSE we allowed ourselves to view things SO much differently (the counter-culture didn't help at all there). It's the "what we permit is what will continue" gig, sad to say. We could use that VENEER of civility right about now. ACTUAL civility would be even better.))

    Keep those hit's comin' up there, brother.

    1. No, but Laurie did say that she should have taken BV because of how MY mom made ME such a fan!

      Of course, after I get through with him this week, he might not be a fan of MINE...

  4. MLK IS a dirty liar. I mean, can you believe he wanted to judge people based on the content of their character and not their skin color? That's just insanely backwards thinking.

    Anyways, back to my gender studies class, where I've been instructed I can't speak because I'm white and not entitled to an opinion on the matter.

    Oh, and I love that Shilpa Ray song. What a voice.

    1. Wow, the vote for Shilpa was bigger than I hoped!

      One thing you can say about racists, is that their own claims make a-joles of them. True for the whites back then, true for the BLMs now.