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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.


Thursday, May 17, 2018

Zoo 2018

It was a great mix:  School trips with kids of every age- and construction.

Quotable #1:  "Daddy, the deers!"  Uh, no, sweetie, that's a lynx...

"Yeah, for pity's sake, kid..."

Quotable #2:  "Mommy, a gorilla..."

"Pickles?  I'm a pelican, not a stork..."

Guess what?  The lions were actually conscious and in sight for a change!

"Ah, who cares?  They sleep, they roar..."

"Yeah, and I can consume you in two bites and a burp, honey badger..."

Quotable #3 (this one an adult):  Oh, wait, that's a monkey, not a skunk..."

Or, as Laurie called it the "African Monkey-skunk."  Barkley and his "turtle rat" got nothing on us!

"Yukk, I tasted her hand..."

Quotable #4:  First kid:  "Ostrich!  Hey, ostrich!"

Second kid:  "He's NOT going to answer; he doesn't speak.... whatever YOU'RE speaking..."

I just thought that was a neat shot...

"Thankfully, you got my good side..."

"Hey, wait for me!  I hadda use the tree, y'know..."

First darn fish picture I ever got to turn out...

"ROAR!  I'm a lion, you brats! ROAR!"

Quotable #5:  "It's a horse!  Look, it's a...cow!"

Laurie pointed out that he was posing dignified for me...

"Whaddya expect? NBC?"

Oh, and my new gizmo!  Push a button, and...



  1. Chris: two never fail to make me laugh.
    ---Did you get a new camera? These pictures are OUTSTANDING!
    (nah, YOU'RE just getting BETTER...right?)
    ---Great lions pics.
    ---And you got a LEMUR and OTTERS!!!
    (the only reason I really go - I want one...of EACH)
    I love your captions. You must have overheard some very "intelligent" zoo-goers there.
    Whatever happened to the days when parents knew MORE than they seem to now?
    We used to call that reading and going to libraries.
    ---Whatever that gizmo is...looks cool (Peanut will love it...just sayin')

    Excellent day trip. I did enjoy it.

    Stay safe (and as dignified as some predatory birds) up there, brother.

    1. Well, other than the "so noted" the comments were all kids... and I think it goes with the Law of Large Numbers school bus edition. And Peanut love that gift? Hey, that's my new anti-Scrappy begging device!

  2. Look! Look Daddy! A monkey!

    No sweetie, that's a ring-tailed moonbat.

    The ring-tailed moonbat is highly social, living in nuclear families of up to 30 individuals. It is also female dominant, a trait common among moonbats. To keep warm and reaffirm social bonds, groups will huddle together, imbibe in recreational mind altering substances, engage in multi-gender sexual practices that are labeled as immoral in most third world countries, and immerse themselves in commercial media publications. The ring-tailed moonbat will also sunbathe, sitting upright facing its underside, with its white belly towards the sun. Like other moonbats, this species relies strongly on its sense of social justice and marks its territory with raucous ceremonies called 'protest marches'. The males perform a unique behavior called slap fighting and will participate in slap fights by screaming invective at their opponents and striking at the opponents with their open hands, but seldom connecting.

    As one of the most vocal primates, the ring-tailed moonbat uses numerous vocalizations including group cohesion and alarm calls. Experiments have shown that the ring-tailed moonbat, despite the lack of a large brain (relative to simiiform primates), can organize sequences, understand basic arithmetic operations and preferentially select tools based on functional qualities.

    Despite reproducing readily in urban or suburban environments, and being the most populous moonbats in cities in the United States, the ring-tailed moonbat is listed as endangered by the Democratic Party due to changes in national political leadership and an unanticipated influx of logic, statistics, and common sense. As of early 2017, the population in the urban area is believed to have stabilized due to cuts in welfare funding, employment, and the incarceration of criminals, making them far more critically endangered.

    1. My first thought was, "Buddy, I'M working this corner!" That deserves to have a wikipedia entry!

    2. And here I thought you never drove through my part of Ft. Wayne. I stand corrected, sir.

    3. Maybe we need something a MADJACKIPEDIA?