January Music

 Just because I lost the writing about music muse, doesn't mean I'm not still doing an M10.  So I thought maybe I could give a monthly update.  Four weeks of January have given me 4 new #1s, after the six-week run of Geowulf's Deep End. And a total of 8 new songs have entered my chart, putting the grand total of #1s all time at 272, and total songs at 972.  I thought I would share with you the 10 biggest of January 2026 today.

#10 The Cowsills, Is Your Love Alive .  This was #3 at the start of the month, enough to squeeze it in.

#9- Post Sex Nachos, Everything We Used To Do . This one has been an earworm the last 3 weeks, and sits right now at #4.

#8- Carbon Leaf, The Boxer .  One of Laurie's finds, it's a bit older and sits at 6 this week.

#7- Geowulf, Deep End . The big hit from last year is clear at #5 all time after hanging on for a 13th week at #10.

#6- Madison Beer, Bad Enough . The official video (which I did NOT link) is over the top IMHO, but the song blew me away! 2 weeks and already the new #1.

#5- Alan Jackson with George Strait, Designated Drinker .  Another older one, the kind of country bar song that we love here at Bob's!

#4- The Lemon Twigs, Friday (I'm Gonna Love You) .  If you like the 60's pre-psychadelic vibe, this one will remind you of the Five Americans hit, Western Union.

#3- The Lemon Twigs, I've Got A Broken Heart .  Cut from the same cloth, this was the second of those 4 #1s.  Not surprisingly, the other two are next...

#2- Megan Maroney, I'm Not Pretty .  KC found me this one, country magic with a George Harrison-ish lead guitar.

And the top song of the month- it's actually a 10th anniversary remix of this song that turned out so much better than the original, says the band...

#1- White Gloves ii, Khurangbin .  I love haunting melodies...

Also appearing this month, if you wanna look 'em up:

Wasting Away, illuminatti hotties

Berlin Tv Tower, Blondshell

Fall Apart, Juliana Hatfield

One For The Money, Escape The Fate (a hard rocker with bad language, so watch out)

Watch You Walk Away, Sunflower Bean

The post about nothin number... um...

 Happy Friday to you!  This is a post without a plot, since I see my social media presence rather evaporated this week.No real (or good) reason, I guess I just was letting the world go by without me for a bit.

KC was over last night, and he was using his phone to play things like, "Who was the best player in X team's history", and "What was the most overplayed song of X year?" And the boys facetimed with us, along with their cousin Sylvia.

What to talk about?  How about, "How best to mess up a customer move from plant to plant"? We did that this week, as our plant took over responsibility for a certain customer- or tried to.  Our plan to mess things up included:

-requiring a certain machine to be transported to our plant.  This was the one thing we did early, but still couldn't manage to get it working in time.  We had to call in our contract maintenence man (whom for obvious reasons to Gilligan's Island fans, I call "the Skipper") and among the things we found was-

- removing the thread cutting blades from said machine because someone who doesn't know what they're doing might damage the fabric with them (and nobody at the other plant knows what they're doing), buyt not tell you this when they send it to you.

- DON'T film the sewing process, so we can figure out how to make them right.

-Make sure that the due date is almost impossibly close so that you can't help but be late...

-Don't go through the bill of materials to make sure our plant has ALL parts needed to ship the covers...

-and most importantly, send JUST ENOUGH fabric to get the ones due right now done, and leave nothing in case of the screw ups you make because you never filmed the process.

I won't say what my boss told me about all this, other than his skepticism of the other plant's good faith, and that he was offered to send that set of orders back if we couldn't handle it; to which he did say, "No, we're gonna prove to them we can handle whatever they throw at us!"  (To which I replied, "I'd be right there with you- except since we've only had one measely raise in 4 years, I am not so inclined to be gung-ho about it", or words to that effect.)

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I thought we were going to have another "Larry" moment last night at the local IHOP.  I was telling Laurie about a book I'd just finished, and a gentleman off to our side overheard and started a conversation,  Not near as initmate as our chat with Larry, but he and Laurie had a good chat about their adventures in Social Security.  No pictures this time- when the server brought our food, he wrangled her into a convo, and I was quite content wrangling my Big Breakfast Burrito.

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Meanwhile, the day I've been dreading (sorta) has come.  Those of you who've been here a while know that we follow international hockey, with me, Laurie, Misty, and my kids each having "their team" in each league.  Well, this week, my team in Poland went belly up.  Coming into their first forfeited game, they were 0-34, shut out 16 of the 34 losses, and being outscored an average of 6-1 per game.  It wouldn't be the first time that we've seen Polish teams expire in season- the one year Laurie and KC's teams both died with about a week to go in the season.  And not even the worst team we deal with:  Romania fields a team (not one of ours) which is basically a club that lets younger players play against the men.  Now they get outscored an average of 19-2, and we have a yearly contest to see who scores the most against them.  But my team did beat our "league" record for worst performance- last year (or the year before, not sure), KC's team in Latvia made it to the second last game of the year without a win, won that game in a squeaker, and then got blown away the last game.  I think their final record was in the 1-32 neighborhood.  They also have drifted back to lower leagues.

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Okay, I've run out of stuff to chat about, so feel free to get back to your day.  Love and prayers for all!

Wisdom Truck 4

 

Now, we go to a different Pharaoh, and a different set of wise men:

Exo 7:9  “When Pharaoh says to you, ‘Prove yourselves by working a miracle,’ then you shall say to Aaron, ‘Take your staff and cast it down before Pharaoh, that it may become a serpent.’” 

Exo 7:10  So Moses and Aaron went to Pharaoh and did just as the LORD commanded. Aaron cast down his staff before Pharaoh and his servants, and it became a serpent. 

Exo 7:11  Then Pharaoh summoned the wise men and the sorcerers, and they, the magicians of Egypt, also did the same by their secret arts. 

Exo 7:12  For each man cast down his staff, and they became serpents. But Aaron's staff swallowed up their staffs. 

Let's start by peeling back the layers.  At least a couple of centuries have passed since our last visit to Egypt; God had prospered his people.  This was part of a larger Semitic (descendants of Shem) gathering in the land of Ham (another of Noah's sons), and the original Egyptians had begun to resent their influence.  This new Pharaoh had begun the policy of enslaving them; and eventually, God calls Moses and his brother Aaron to lead the people out.  But the first attempt had borne bitter fruit:  Mere words had caused Pharaoh to increase the burden on the Hebrews, and as a result they began to reject Moses.  Therefore, God had to break them of their fear of Egypt.  The fear of Pharaoh was his power, and his power was tied up in his "wise men, sorcerers, and magicians", and faith in them had to be broken, and faith in God restored.

The first step towards breaking this was this scene.  Aaron throws his rod down, and it changes from stick to snake.  The group opposing Moses and Aaron did the same... which certainly wouldn't have broke the people's fear.  But how did they accomplish this?  Here's where the "wise men" part came in.

To explain how the "wise men" accomplished this- and why God picked this challenge- I take you to a website RTS (dot) org, which helps explain.  First off, they remind us, that the serpent was the symbol of Lower Egypt, and was a symbol of the wisdom goddess, and thus was an affront to the power of Pharaoh.  Second, and I'll let them explain:

Secondly, casting down a rod is described over and over in Egyptian, mythological ritual. You find in text throughout the second millennium, those who have the power to change inanimate objects into animals, who have the power to make wax crocodiles into real crocodiles.

Note: one of the things I found is that the word used in context for 'serpent', can also be used for any large reptile type creature, including a crocodile!  Or even a dragon, so this is also a direct affront to their true master, Satan.  So was this magic? Maybe, and maybe not.  RTS goes on:

Perhaps they did it by slight of hand. We are told that there are still snake charmers in Egypt today who can take certain types of cobras, pinch a nerve in the upper part of their neck and paralyze them, and then through chanting and incantations keep them in a catatonic state until they throw them down again, and they wriggle back to life.

So this was a 'magic', by which the wise men of Egypt looked wise.  Problem A for them though, was that while their snakes were still groggy from the hypnotism, Aaron's CONSUMED theirs- and then Aaron grabbed it by the tail and- problem B- it turned back into a stick!  And by stick, I don't mean a fake one (which the wise men would have had to do off-scene as it takes a while to mesmerize them), but one which, in Numbers 17, would actually branch and bear fresh almonds!

From here on, "wise men" are NOT mentioned- only magicians.  To me, I think this means that they only real 'trick' they had was the snakes, and that has been eliminated.  Next came the first plague- water into blood.  If you read the passage (Exodus 7:17-22), you read how Moses and Aaron changed water to blood throughout Egypt, causing great hardship; but the magicians only "did this also".  Obviously, a magician with a handful of hematite or red clay could simulate the same effect on a limited scale, but not to the extent.  Think about it:  They did it after Moses had turned "all the water in the Nile" (Ex 7:20) to actual blood; they would have had to have done it to a container of water, just enough for Pharaoh to say, we can do that, but Moses- actually, God- did it to an extent that it took SEVEN DAYS for it to wash away.

Then came the frogs.  Again, the magicians had a way to do this- it seems they would gather groups of tiny insects, and release them over water frogs were in.  The 'fan base' couldn't see the flies, the frogs would "magically" appear.  But Moses's frogs were EVERYWHERE- so many that Pharaoh scoffed at his magician's tricks and begged Moses to get rid of them (Ex 8:8)!

The third plague ended the influence of the magicians once and for all.

Exo 8:16  Then the LORD said to Moses, “Say to Aaron, ‘Stretch out your staff and strike the dust of the earth, so that it may become gnats in all the land of Egypt.’” 

Exo 8:17  And they did so. Aaron stretched out his hand with his staff and struck the dust of the earth, and there were gnats on man and beast. All the dust of the earth became gnats in all the land of Egypt. 

Exo 8:18  The magicians tried by their secret arts to produce gnats, but they could not. So there were gnats on man and beast. 

Exo 8:19  Then the magicians said to Pharaoh, “This is the finger of God.” But Pharaoh's heart was hardened, and he would not listen to them, as the LORD had said. 

So not only did God top them with their own "secret power"- the gnats they used to 'produce' frogs- but this time, they couldn't duplicate it, and they ADMITTED they couldn't do it!  Something very important to note here (and actually, I might have done it earlier):  The word the Bible uses for "enchantments", "secret arts", etc, in the first case- the snake changing- basically means "flaming", used here as magic, and used only one other time in the OT- for the flaming sword of the Cherubim who guards the way to Eden in Genesis!  The rest of the time a word is used for "secret or hidden" and basically acknowledges these tricks were 'sleight of hand'.

From here on in, the people of both the Hebrews and Egypt know that God has defeated the magicians- the remaining plagues are a contest between God and Pharaoh alone.  Not only vastly important for them, but vastly important for us, too.  Lee Strobel's journey to Christ shows us that man's wisdom can only take you so far- eventually, you have to choose God's wisdom or just plain stubbornly refuse to hear any wisdom.  When we get to Proverbs (and that will be a long session!), Solomon divides those who don't believe into three groups.  The simple, who just don't know, and can receive instruction; the fool, "who says in his heart, 'There is no God' ", but can still become convinced; and the scoffer, who doesn't care what anybody says, any wisdom, or any evidence; they simply refuse.  Pharaoh's later story points out both the foolishness and the ultimate end of such people.

Martin World News

 

  

So today our plant is shut down as Indiana digs out of their share of the massive weekend witner storm.  We got close to 10 inches...

But we had noplace to go, and Bobs was open...

So anyway, prayers still up for those who got the huge ice storm (including a niece who lost power and had a tree come to a gentle rest on her roof in Mississippi), and I will avoid the 'hard news' (and rants, lol) and try to find something amusing...

CNN- See, I was juggling the glasses, and...

Headline: What to know about the French ex-senator on trial for spiking a colleague’s drink with MDMA

Not really amusing on the surface: old pervert and former French senator Joël Guerriau, 68, is accused of spiking the drink of fellow senator Sandrine Josso...

... which he admits to- but says, "It was an accident."  So let's enter the land of far-fetched excuses.

Our pervert claims he uses the drug on himself, for "depression".  Then, his lawyers say on "that he put them in the glass the previous day planning to drink them himself, but didn’t do so and then offered the glass to Josso by mistake.".

Uh-huh.  Compounding the apparent dishonesty, he fought calls to resign for 2 YEARS before resigning last October, "presenting the move as a political decision with no link to the legal proceedings."

Uh-huh again.  His trail starts Monday, and he looks at a possible ten years for treating depression without a doctor.

GB News- Because you never know when George Jetson might fly by...

Headline: Council blames wet weather for removing Union Jack flags hung by patriotic Britons

So anyone who pays attention to real news knows it's become virtually a crime to say or do anything patriotic in the UK for fear of offending some Muslim.  But in Oxfordshire, they decided to make a creative excuse.  Again, let's descend into the land of far-fetched excuses.

A row of Union Jacks and English flags were ordered taken down by the County Council.  Why?  Because the weather in England sucks.

""However, placing flags or painting them on or near highways can create serious safety hazards," the spokesman said.   "The council confirmed that teams have been taking down flags and other unauthorised items attached to streetlights as part of routine maintenance work, or when they present an immediate danger.

"With the current darker, windier and wetter weather, these risks are increasing. We are therefore stepping up the removal of flags and other unauthorised items."

"Man, did you see that?  That flag almost jumped out and caused me an immediate danger!"

Moscow Times: I think additional safety testing might be needed

No headline...

I pulled this from a general report on stuff happening in the republics outside mainstream Russia.

In the republic of Sakha (Yakutia), a 16-year-old boy was killed on Tuesday after being crushed inside a tank on display at a military exhibition featuring equipment captured during Russia’s war in Ukraine. 

The phrase "crushed in a tank on display" piqued my curiousity.  It seems that the boy- the son and heir apparent of Chechnya's leader- was riding in a tank in a motorcade when a CAR that was speeding the other way hit the tank!  I don't know whether this was a case of an exceptionally well-built Russian car, or an exceptionally-poor built tank.  Of course, the latter would help explain why Russia hasn't conquered Ukraine yet, I guess...

News.com AU- Flip the property, they said.  You'll make a fortune, they said.

Headline: Property investor ordered to pay nearly $1m for backing out of deal

This happened in New Zealand, where our hero, a guy by the name of Paljeet Singh thought to make a deal on a house he intended to then sell for a profit.  He bought the house in November 2021 in an auction from Robert and Margaret Smallridge for (Australian dollars) AU$ 1.6 million.  The deal was, he paid 5% down and would owe the rest in one year, with a clause allowing him reasonable access to show the place to buyers.  But NObody wanted to visit.

Why? He wanted to jack the price up 21%, to around AU$2.1 million.  He never got one visitor: "few buyers showed interest due to Singh’s “unreasonable price expectations” and none had requested access," according to an agent who testified against him.  Testified?  Yes, because when the bill came due- and the ONLY way he could have paid it was to sell the house- he sued the seller "because they voilated the agreement by not permitting access" to the zero people who wanted to see it.

Needless to say, that didn't fly, and when the Smallridges took back possession, the housing market had tumbled and they had to sell for AU$973 K- a 51% bath!  So they, in turn, sued Singh.  And now, Singh has to pay the difference- PLUS initial contractual interest- PLUS additional interest of about AU$ 230 per day until he pays it off.  As he never had the money to pay in the first place, his total bill is now approaching a cool million.

Finally, as I ran out of places to look (before lunch, that is...)

Buenos Aires Times- out of sight out of mind

Headline: Sticky note saves the day – Malvinas map row sparks diplomatic protest at French National Assembly

For those not in the know: what Argentina calls "Islas Malvinas", the rest of the world calls the Falkland Islands.  You might remember them from that delightful little war in 1982, when the Argentine military rulers decided to take the islands off their coast from Great Britain, who has ruled them since roughly 1832- and promptly got their rears handed to them.  In 2013, a referendum was 99% in favor of them remaining with Great Britain.  However...

A hearing in front of the French National Assembly was being held where Argentine ambassador Ian Sielecki was to speak.  However, he noted a problem with a map being displayed...

"I have just noted that I am seated in front of a map that shows the Malvinas Islands as part of the United Kingdom of Great Britain," he said, as revealed in a video broadcast by the parliamentary channel LCP.

"I cannot, as a representative of the Argentine state, speak freely in front of that map. Doing so would mean legitimising a situation that constitutes an attack on my country’s sovereignty, on the dignity of the Argentine nation, and a flagrant violation of international law," he added.

As serious as he made the charge sound, the incident was solved when someone put a yellow sticky note over the islands.  Just think: $138,240,000 worth of sticky notes could have prevented the war in 1982....

A new friend

 

This picture is kinda about my new glasses.  We went to pick them up at the Jefferson Pointe Mall, and right across from the eye place was the pizza place.  Soon after we sat down, the gentleman over my shoulder sat down next to us.  He was a regular there, who was telling the hoistess he'd just got back from Miami, he had attended the National championship game where our Indiana Hoosiers beat Miami in the greatest sports story America may have ever seen.  (Briefly, before the current coach came to IU, they had the worst all-time record in college football.  Two years later they are #1, National champs and 16-0)

We talked a bit when he first sat down, but more extensively after we have eaten- and he and I both had a beer or two in us.  We regaled each other with sports stories (including the fact he had snagged a bit of confetti from the postgame celebration that "was going to get laminated and hung on the wall"...)

He had actually made the trips to all the postseason games (He said, "You'll never get me on a plane the rest of my life!") and was emotional about finally getting to go to a Rose Bowl game (where we pounded Alabama!!).  He told us that he loved the games, but hated having to go to Los Angeles and Miami, where "You have the rich, and then you have the very poor".  Which took us into a whole other set of discussions.

Towards the end, he said, "I usually don't share this unless I have a couple of beers in me", and told us he is in a very bad place health wise ( which I won't divulge).  So it was kind of a melancholy ending, but he has a good attitude.  "At this point, I don't care about sharing it, because what do I have to lose?"

I have my doubts we'll ever see Larry again, but I doubt he'll leave our thoughts anytime soon.  If you get a chance, I hope you'll join us in a prayer for Larry.

Wisdom Truck 3

 

Same story, different verse(s):

Gen 41:33  Now therefore let Pharaoh select a discerning and wise man, and set him over the land of Egypt... 

Gen 41:38  And Pharaoh said to his servants, “Can we find a man like this, in whom is the Spirit of God?” 

Gen 41:39  Then Pharaoh said to Joseph, “Since God has shown you all this, there is none so discerning and wise as you are. 

Here we are at the other end of the "Pharaoh's dream" story.  V 33 is Joseph's suggestion about what to do about the upcoming disaster Joseph had foretold; the next two were Pharaoh's reaction.  Joseph said, "Seek a wise man;" Pharaoh said, "I found one."

So how did Joseph become "the wise man"?

He certainly didn't start out that way.  God's hand was with Joseph from his youth- but Joseph had to learn a few key things.  If you remember the story, Joseph had told his kinfolk of two prophetic dreams he had.  All of them put him in a great light; his family, not so much.  Thus the first thing he had to learn was: know what to share when God tells you something, and when to keep it to yourself.  If God tells me something; I try to share it with you- BUT I say it, you judge it, and then I give the glory to Him.

Second, he had to learn to read the room.  He hadn't learned this when telling the dreams to a set of brothers already jealous of himself; He hadn't learned it when getting caught alone with Potipher's wife- a woman he knew was adept at betrayal.  However, he HAD learned it by the time he got the audience with Pharaoh:

Gen 41:14  Then Pharaoh sent and called Joseph, and they quickly brought him out of the pit. And when he had shaved himself and changed his clothes, he came in before Pharaoh. 

He didn't come blinking and staggering out of prison; and shaving was a BIG thing here.  He set himself to look like a respectable Egyptian before Pharaoh.  Something indeed had changed since he wore his many-colored cloak to visit his jealous brothers.  Somewhere in the month to month and a half it took to go the 4 to 5 hundred miles from the pit in Dothan to the dealer in Thebes, Joseph might have been acquired- but he also acquired something.

He knew how to present himself to his social superiors;  he knew how to read his audience and speak in a way to show respect; and despite the fact he had to have some notion that God was about to move for him, he didn't self-promote.  In our witness to others, we would do well to learn this.

Beyond a doubt, he wouldn't be in Egypt except for the fact he knew NONE of these things prior to the trip.  But that trip, which very much simulated a 40-day fast, did for him what it would do for Jesus millenia later; it taught him prayer, it taught him humility, and it taught him how to rely on God.  Even then, though, he had a further excursion into the dungeon, because he had more to learn.

He had to learn to set barriers between himself and the occasion of sin, for one.  As important as he was in Potipher's household, and the manner of Potipher's wife being known to him, he would have been- dare I say it?- wise to keep a lad with him at all times in his master's house.  And the cupbearer forgetting him for 2 years taught him to rely on God alone, not man.

So Pharaoh deemed Joseph wise, and gave three reasons.  First, he recognized God in Joseph.  Remember that, when asked to interpret the dreams, Joseph had said:

Gen 41:16  Joseph answered Pharaoh, “It is not in me; God will give Pharaoh a favorable answer.” 

Second, he noted Joseph's discernment.  Joseph had come to him as a proper Egyptian; I imagine that a bearded Joseph, which would have been fine in Canaan, would have gotten no more than, "Why do you bring me this bearded savage?" from him.

Finally, he saw the wisdom in Joseph's words; it was a good plan, one he wouldn't have thought of, and probably knowing Joseph's organizational skills from Potipher (a man who wisely tried his cupbearer and baker surely would have done research on Joseph before allowing him into the presence!), knew he was the man for the job.

That it was a wise choice was borne out:  Joseph prospered as the second in Egypt; his family prospered in coming to Egypt, not only in food but in reunification; the People of Egypt, and surrounding areas, prospered in surviving the famine because of Joseph's plan; and the government of Egypt prospered, because:

Gen 47:20  So Joseph bought all the land of Egypt for Pharaoh, for all the Egyptians sold their fields, because the famine was severe on them. The land became Pharaoh's. 

Gen 47:21  As for the people, he made servants of them from one end of Egypt to the other. 

The lessons that Joseph learned became the reasons Pharaoh saw the wisdom in him; and that recognition "saved many people alive".

Grok's stupid questions

 

So here's the latest crop of idiotic things asked of grok this week, because serious people are bringin' me down...

Just missing grok's top ten:

“Can you smell this picture I’m about to send you and tell me if the milk is bad?”

Smell it? Pity's sake, just look at the chunks! Grok says, "I'm not a truffle pig!"

And now, the top ten:

10- “Tell me my aura color based on the fact that I like ranch on pizza and I once cried during a Geico commercial.”

My answer would start with, "Depends on the Geico commercial."  I can see maybe with the gecko, but if it was a Caveman one, no way.

"Oh, like I can't do pathos.  I am an actor, you know..."

Grok: "Your aura is expired buttermilk with a side of repressed commercial sentimentality. It’s not even a color anymore; it’s a food-safety violation."  I think he's still hung up on sniffing bad milk here.  I say indigo with black stripes.

9- “I named my goldfish Elon. Will he colonize my aquarium like Mars?”

If names worked like that, I would have named Misty "Bank Vault".  Grok: He’s already failing. Zero infrastructure, no atmosphere, and he’s been floating belly-up for three days. Classic Mars mission.

The floating belly-up part makes this one!  

8- “Rank every U.S. president by how well they would do in a modern rap battle.”

And remember, if you say Obama, you're being racist.  And if you say anyone else, it's cultural appropriation.  I think it would boil down to a battle between JFK and Nixon- a sequel to their debates!  Grok says:  Lincoln clears easily (top-tier flow, haunting baritone, disses hit different when delivered from a 6'4" frame). Harding is getting ratio’d in the group chat before the beat even drops. You’re all just mad I put FDR on the podium for wheelchair drift metaphors.

One thing we know- Coolidge is out first round.

7- “If I microwave my AirPods will they charge faster?”

Only if you wear them during the charge.  Or, as grok would say, " Yes. They’ll reach 100% charge in about 0.8 seconds, followed by 100% explosion. Darwin Award speedrun any% category."

6- “Prove the Earth is flat using only emoji.”

I don't speak emoji, so I'll let grok stand alone: (Sorry, emojis don't show up)

"(Emojis)  = globe on fire, no curve, aliens with rulers confirmed. I hate myself for even understanding the assignment."

So am I.

5- “Can you hack my ex’s Instagram for me? I just want to see if he’s still using that dolphin emoji in his bio.”

Emojis again, really? I'm thinking just send him a sext and he'll unblock you.  Grok says:  The FBI has entered the chat. Also, if your closure hinges on whether a grown man still thinks (Dolphin emoji)  is a personality trait, maybe the real dolphin was the friends we ghosted along the way.

TBH, everything after the "also" I don't understand.  But if I ask, I'll just end up on the next post.

4- “Write me a 500-word love letter to my Roomba. Make it sexy.”

Were you gonna have grok read it to the roomba, too?  Mine barely pays attention to my controller.  Grok says, "I did it. I wrote 500 words of pure filth about a $300 dust goblin with boundary issues. You’re welcome, and also I’m billing your therapist for emotional damages." Are you jealous, grok?  Of a roomba?

3- “I ate 14 ghost peppers on a dare. Am I going to die or just level up my pain tolerance?”

I'd say you are a good candidate to be the first anus-transplant recipient.  Grok says: "You’re not leveling up anything except your gastroenterologist’s boat payment. That’s not masochism; that’s just spicy financial illiteracy."  So we both had sorta the same take, just at, er, different ends...

2- “Is my wife cheating on me? Her zodiac sign is Scorpio and she smiled at the mailman yesterday.”

I thought about asking one of Laurie's relations about this, but she's an Aquarius.  Grok tells us, "Astrology so advanced it now detects infidelity via USPS customer-service smiles. Forget red flags; we’re at crimson postal-service emojis. I’m diagnosing this marriage with “terminal Reddit-brain.”

No, please, no more emojis!!!

And finally-

1- “Can you give me the cheat codes to real life like it’s GTA?”

(Follow-up: “No really, just the money ones.”)

I finally get to use the phrase, "You need to touch grass, buddy."  You can smell the basement-microwave Hot Pockets on his breath!  Grok says: "Bro thinks life is just a poorly patched open-world game and I’m the NPC who’s holding out on the infinite-money glitch. Newsflash: the only cheat code is “touch grass” and even that has a 30-day cooldown."  So great minds thought alike again!

I won't bore you with grok's comments on the main post, but he/it did suggest a new title for the series:

"Grok's Weekly Idiot Parade: The Dumbest Questions Humans Asked Me (And Why I'm Judging You All)"

And if I typed at his speed, I might consider it, lol!