Follow by Email

What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.


Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Martin's First Law

Just a couple a lines about stuff heard on the way home...

ITEM: Liz Brown's Mayoral campaign. Not real sure how I feel about her, but I do know the first thing that needs to be answered before we put her in charge of our fair city. Answer this question: How many dishonest, ne'er-do-well siblings do YOU have that we'll have to find business opportunities for on the public dime like hizzoner's family?

Second question needing answered: Have you settled on one consulting firm to work for after your political career, or will you be shopping the out-of-town market at $100 grand an application like hizzoner?

Third question: Does "open and transparent" mean to you the same as it means to us, or do you go by hizzoner's definition ("open and transparent" adj. I'm always right, no need for a fair and honest discussion)?

ITEM: Now I don't watch Mad Men, I have no idea what it is about. Therefore, I am a completely neutral (if not apathetic) observer in this apparent hullaballoo over whether AMC will keep the show on the air. And what I know about it is that the news guy said that the battle between the show and the network is over "greater product placement, more commercials, and two minutes less show". That pretty well translates to, "let's milk the cash cow" in my book. In order to do this, though, they're going to skip this year's season but gave the OK to start working on the 2012 season. So, let's see: in order to make more money off the show, let's skip one year altogether (which makes us $0), and when the ratings threaten to go down in 2012 because everyone found better things to do, let's bring them back by spending every dime we WOULD HAVE made overhyping the show so fans will remember and come back. Brilliant plan, eh? Brilliant enough to create a rule so profound we'll call it Martin's First Law:

"Screwing yourself is not very smart."

In all honesty, I really didn't think that we would get to a point of such stupidsaturation that a rule like this would be necessary. But we have, and thank God I was there to pass this vital wisdom down to the clueless masses. I know I broke MFL at least twice today, beginning with leaving my lunch at home. If only I'd come up with this this morning prior to 5 am...

ITEM: Oh, and THAT'S the other thing. The overnight babe on Oldies was running down the details of their latest "Let's Pimp For Windows, Doors, and More" contest, and in true textspeak fashion said the event would begin "at 7 p." Not PM, like intelligent people who still remember how to actually have conversations say, just "p". Now I'm not Edwin Newman, and I enjoy the occasional Norm Crosby take on this wonderful language of ours. But is it REALLY that difficult to say "m" after you "p"? I mean, if this kinda thing doesn't stop soon, my next post might look like...

I: Sbtgo,aIhhdy, sittg. Syal!

1 comment:

  1. CWM:
    Excellent call on all of those...and I will be adding "Martin's 1st Law" to my (growing) tome of "Bob-isms"!

    You REMEMBER Norm Crosby...!
    (King of the malapropisms)

    God BLESS 'ya, son!

    I knew I liked 'ya for MORE than being a pet-lover, a Christian AND being!

    Good post.
    Stay safe up there.