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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.

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Saturday, May 21, 2011

The funny side of the end of the world: Trivia about Harold Camping

1.  His middle name is Egbert.  Which is not damning, but certainly amusing.

2. He believes that the "church age" has ended, all organized churches are apostate, and advises his followers to just get out.  Good grief, don't get caught in a church when Jesus returns!

3. He believes that, based on the obscure Hebrew phrase "qara shem", that Adam actually fathered Seth, Seth actually fathered Enosh, and Lamech was Noah's real daddy, but all the rest were "reference patriarchs", i.e. actually separated by other ancestors not worth mentioning.

4. No Hell!  If you're a sinner, you just cease to be at death.  Sounds like partially following atheist doctrines, making him half-athed.

5.  His radio network, Family radio, is still offering promos expiring on the 28th- one week after anyone wanting them (or able to give them out) are supposed to be gone.  Entrepreneurship goes on in Heaven?

6. The closest station to us carrying family radio is WOTL out of Toledo.  Google thought I meant WTOL, the main AM station there, but I had to insist on the "backwards" version.  Go figure.

7.Since the church age is over and all churches are apostate, he has over the years either dropped or heavily deleted any programs that give aid and comfort to organized denominations.  Between that and the fact that most of his stations are non-commercial, you gotta wonder just what programming they DO have.

8. Just so you know, the world was made in 11,013 BC, the flood (which is a historical fact when he needs it to be and an allegory when necessary) was in 4990 BC, and Jesus died on the cross on Friday, April 1st, 33 AD.

9. Yes, he did already predict the apocalypse once before, for September of 1994.  In the book about that one, 1994?, he did say, "...but I could be mistaken."  Not so this time... I guess he neglected the disclaimer in his old age.

10. To understand Camping, first understand he says that organized churches are failed because they use "doctrines and hermeneutics" to interpret the Bible.  Second, understand that he says both that the Bible is the complete Word of God, but not all of it need be taken literally.  Third, the reasoning behind #2 is that if Jesus spoke in parables, and Jesus is the Word of God, and the Bible is the written word of God, then much of the Old Testament can be taken as parables as well.

11. Because of this he can combine the factual flood's date of 4990 BC, the parable flood's "seven days more and I shall make it rain", and 2 Peter's "A thousand years is as a day", and get that 7000 years after the flood is 2011, and with similar ironclad mathematics figures the 6 PM today target.

12. Camping's actual education was a B.S. in civil engineering.  Other famous civil engineers include the late Osama bin-Laden, Mahmoud Iamanutjob of Iran, Gen. Curtis Le May ( 1968 running mate on the American Independent ticket with Gov. George Wallace), and Sir Thomas Crapper, the alleged inventor of the flush toilet.

13. Heaven's gonna get busy- he estimates 200 million raptured today.

14.  Of course, he hadda take away all his wiggle room- the 6 PM he referred to is local time, sweeping across the globe.  Earthquakes were supposed to follow the clock like a set of dominoes.  The closest he's been at 11 am our time is a 5.3 that hit Luzon in the Philippines at 1:08 PM local.  No estimates in yet on the disappearances there.


15.  People that show their character in a crisis.  The Seattle Atheist group is raising money to help earthquake victims- and if nothing happens, the funds go to a camp to teach critical thinking to children.  Locally, Joshua attended "Post-rapture looting" according to Facebook.  There's class for ya.

1 comment:

  1. VWM:L
    He sure ain't the Harold Camping from 30+ years ago (that used to actually make a lot more sense back then)...

    Maybe THAT one got "taken away", and this impostor took his place?

    OR...we could have all been whisked away in the middle of the night to BIZARRO WORLD (my preference).

    That would explain SO darn much, would it not?

    Interesting stuff about Camping.

    Have a great Sunday (since we're all still here)...
    Stay safe up there.

    ReplyDelete