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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.

SOCK IT TO ME BABY!!!

Monday, June 22, 2015

You know why this isn't a MWN post?


Because some days, I look at stupidity as not-so funny as others.  I mean, some times people are stupid-cruel, or stupid-sad, or.... well, I just ain't of the mood for a full-on, classical sennse, MWN post.  But I will kinda skirt the fringes, if you will indulge me.

One day last week, I came home and told Laurie, "the best way to describe this day is- I had the cutting head on the machine FALL OFF; Debbie (my floor boss) asked if we could leave just before noon and go walk Scrappy;

Because THIS.
and I devised the new slogan for our company:  'Redefining clustrerf--- for a new generation."

Thankfully, after about three similar days we emerged on the other side of sanity.  And now I'm even back to an 8-hour day!

Another interesting domestic highlight came a few days back when the computer was acting a bit sluggish.  After a reboot, it went from sluggish to confused: (click the image to get the whole thing)



Here is my Google Home page.  Here you will see, starting top row left:  The Facebook page with the little Farmville symbol on top; WANE TV with the CBS Sports logo; Fox News with the Blogger symbol; Blogger homepage with the News360 symbol; (bottom row) News 360 with the FoxNews symbol; BBC with the proper small logo but the description for Weather Underground; my hockey scores page with the NASCAR symbol (but the right description); and WANE TV with the right symbol but Laurie's Wal-Mart sign-in description.  After an hour or so, it unscrambled itself- slowly.  Very slowly.


Next, let's look in my spam box, where I got this interestingly narcissistic comment on a recent blog post:

What's up friends, how is everything, and 
what you want to say concerning this post, in my 
view its genuinely amazing in support of me.

Feel free to visit my web page :: CharleenYManwaring 


I was quite surprised at how supportive I was of Charleen Y Manwaring, especially on a Time Machine post.  I was also surprised that when I searched Charleen, I came across a possible techie site called AndroidTrainee dot com, which at the end of some gobbledeegook about multiple geographic location settings, contained a comment section 100 posts long- each of the comments being a spam comment that looked a lot like the millions of spam comments I have received over the years.  So I'm not quite sure if AT is a legit site that got BADLY dumped on, or just a benign looking repository for spammers to pick up their witty reposts.

Then, I got this lovely missive from Kredi Teklif:

Hello,

We saw you ad…Please contact us via email:
richmondloanagency91@gmail.com for your solution.

Present to us the following information

NAME…………………………………………………

COUNTRY…………………………………………

STATE………………………………………………

CITY…………………………………………………

AMOUNT NEEDED…………………………

DURATION………………………………………

TEL NO……………………………………………

FAX NO……………………………………………

PURPOSE…………………………………………

OCCUPATION…………………………………

NEXT OF KIN………………………………

Await this your personal information in your next mail to us.

Yours faithfully,
Mr.Richmond.

Okay, so no Kredi Teklif in the text, because Kredi Teklif is Turkish for "loan offer" (hint to would be spammers- get your identifiers together); A business letter signed, "Mr. Richmond" (might want to put in a FIRST name); and guess what?  In America, you don't place an ad for a loan, normally.


And what beats that?  The next day, I got the same exact e-mail- all in Turkish.  Do I look Turkish?




(By the way, I learned- and confirmed- the word "meme" is Turkish for boobs.  There is a certain cosmic balance there, no?)


I do have a little MWN type stuff, for example, did you know the 2015 World's fair is going on in Milan?  I found this out because they built the world record longest pizza there:



It took 60 pizza makers, 18 hours, 1.5 tons of mozzarella, and 2 tons of tomato sauce to make a pizza just 45 and 1/2 feet short of one mile long.

Normally I like to do animalpocalypse posts, but this week there was needless stupidity and plain disaster.  Some idiot with a purpose freed a circus elephant with a history which went out and stomped a 65-year-old man to death in Germany.  Flooding in the nation of Georgia broke several dangerous beasts out of a zoo built on a Soviet-leveled church.  Two morons were charged after a) surfing behind a whale shark, and b) Leaping from a speeding boat onto a moose's back.  But, I do have one amusing anecdote of the animalpocalypse- and I wish I'd seen it a quarter-century ago, before I married a Lithuanian:

RAMYGALA, Lithuania, June 22 (UPI) -- A Lithuanian village celebrated the 645th anniversary of its founding by holding a beauty pageant for the most attractive local goats.

The village of Ramygala, about 93 miles north of capital city Vilnius, held a goat beauty pageant Saturday to celebrate the animal that has graced the town's seal.

A dark-colored goat named Marce stood out from the pack of seven bleating beauties to be crowned the most glamorous goat of the bunch.

"It wasn't hard to prepare for the contest. The goat Marce does everything at home, you know, come and see, how she scales the barriers, walks the beam. I set her free, and tell her to dance and she dances," said Saverija Dobrovolskiene, Marce's owner.



On an unrelated note, I played one of those games on Facebook, this one purporting to tell me "what your name means in Japanese".  Now I know what my name means- Christ-bearer- so I really didn't need to know what this game thought.  But then I thought, hey, maybe it might be good for a laugh.  So I did it, and it claimed it meant "blessed".  Which seems to go along, but then it made the mistake of trying to describe ME from it:

Likes being around people (meh...)
Makes easy conversation with people he has just met (Ha HAA!)
An optimist (small H ha ha), and full of positivity.

Yeah, that's me...


I do have a couple of local stories- one of which was already outed by Bobby G, in which a young no-brainer tried to rob a local Walgreens- with a fully marked and occupied squad car sitting in the parking lot.  The other, which I found locally but occurred in Virginia involved a lady who had a court appearance for leaving her kids in a hot, locked car- and left her kids in a hot, locked car outside the courthouse.  If I were the judge, I know what I would sentence her to.

Sometimes you just need a little nudity to brighten a gloomy post:

SEATTLE (Reuters) - More than 4,000 people in a Seattle suburb lost power on Friday after a woman driving naked crashed her car into a utility pole, police said.

There were live power wires down on the car when a police sergeant came across the crash scene in Shoreline, just north of Seattle, around 1:30 a.m., said Detective Jason Houck, a spokesman for the King County Sheriff's Department.

Firefighters and utility crews disabled the wires and found a 24-year-old woman inside the car who was in and out of consciousness, he said.

She was not wearing any clothes, he said. The woman, who was not badly injured, was taken to a hospital where blood was drawn to determine if she was driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol, Houck said.

She could face criminal charges depending on the outcome of the test.

The crash knocked out power to about 4,400 people for about four hours, Houck said.



16 comments:

  1. Just when you think there's nothing new under the sun...

    People...can live with 'em, can't send them to Mars...

    ReplyDelete
  2. If you saw the women in our small town where we grew up, you'd have a beautiful goat contest too. We didn't date a lot growing up, and it wasn't because we were shy or bad looking.

    Also, next time I see a hot Turkish woman (which, you know, is a lot) I'm gonna say "nice memes!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And duck immediately thereafter...

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  3. I laughed all the way through this post, Chris. You crack me up. Thank you.

    I got a blog comment "Find the best Bachelor Programs at ...somewhere in India." It was a response to my personal ad/celibacy post. I told her "I think you missed the point of my post." Too many stupid people out there, but they keep us laughing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's hilarious! The rare times they have any B.A.L. in timing is great!

      Delete
  4. Chris:
    "Redefining the clusterf$ck...for a new generation."..

    That is BRILLIANT!
    We need a real MEME for that one, pal.
    (between us, I know we got that one covered)

    The 'puter screen thingy...WHAA?????
    (never saw anything like that before)

    meme = boobs (Turkish) = cosmic balance?
    Yasureyoubetcha...lol.

    That pizza thing is WRONG.,..you don't measure that kinda pie by LENGTH..it's by CIRCUMFERENCE...(any S. Philly Italian knows that, and I'm not even one)

    Goat beauty pageant... a new oxymoron?

    My Japanese name means "The Modest One"
    (damn, I was shooting for JEDI-MASTER or something similar)

    Okay - naked woman...driving...pole...I think I got the gist of this...heh.

    That was one excellent report.

    Stay safe up there,brother.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "The modest one"?

      Boy, thought they messed MINE up!

      Delete
  5. My husband was cracking himself up last night because he discovered how to make memes. He was like a little kid.
    So did you also hear on the news where a couple was held up at gunpoint in Dallas Sunday night and the victim being held had a gun and shot the robber? Yep. Don't mess with Texas!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I scratch my head why dumb butts try ANYTHING in Texas, to be honest. I woulda gave up after Walker Texas Ranger!

      You'll have to share some of his handiwork with us!

      Delete
  6. Heard about the goat beauty pageant, made me think what the hell..........

    Why would one want to drive naked if one was not drunk or high.............

    People do the stupidest things in front of cops and some never realise how stupid they are

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't figure out why one would want to drive naked in ANY case. My car would likely spit me out!

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  7. Damn, dude, you were on a ROLL here ... loved it :)

    PS... even though the VA women and her hot kids (gosh, that sounds so bad...) made me shiver... if you ever need a special beer cap from VA, let me know :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Always open for contributions! Yeah that did sound bad...But that's the way we roll!

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  8. Every so often new blogs show up on my blog reader that I didn't choose to follow. Every single last one is is spam blog. Any ideas on how they do that?

    I'm thinking I should change my password more often now that I've typed this "out loud."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow. Never seen that one before. Hope I don't either. Any ideas out there?

      Delete