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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.

SOCK IT TO ME BABY!!!

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Martin World News



ITEM:  Much to my amazement, I see I have a few things in the file to share!  Many of them are about a week outdated, but I'm playing the odds that you either didn't pay attention to them or don't pay attention to me, so...


ITEM:  We have a new ruler in Egypt, as my FB friends already know:



In other animal news, last weekend I met a kitty in camo!



This is my co-worker's kitty, who has a) a problem with scratching a hot spot on the back, and b) a "sweater" made of a former shirt sleeve.


ITEM:  I hit this headline and Catholics will immediately understand why I found it funny:


Russian Orthodox patriarch visits with penguins in Antarctica



For those that don't, think:  Little Sisters of the Perpetually Frozen.

(Full disclosure: the Patriarch of the Russian Orthodox Church was visiting the only permanent church in Antarctica, the Church of the Holy Trinity at Bellingshausen Station and decided on a little touristing.)

ITEM:  In other news vis-a-vis animals and the odd crap that happens in Brazil:

The local fire department in Patos, Paraiba, said they were called to a bar Feb. 5 on a report of an aggressive monkey with a kitchen knife chasing men.  Fire department Lt. Col. Saul Laurentino said the monkey drank a glass of rum at the bar before picking up the knife and chasing after men, leaving the women alone.

"It was a bar staff oversight that ended with the monkey drinking some rum and taking the knife," Laurentino told the aRede website.

Locals captured video of the monkey using the kitchen knife to scratch at the bar's roof.
The monkey was captured by firefighters and released back into the wild, but the mischievous primate was later captured a second time for acting aggressively toward residents of homes near the woods.



Kind of reminds me of KC on New Years Eve.

ITEM:  Maxim Kagin was a budding acrobat in the city of Yekaterinburg, Russia, who was practicing his upcoming tightrope walking routine.



Unfortunately, the only routine thing about his act was his ability to fall off his line.

Maxim said: "The event was organised by administration of the Krasnolesye shopping centre.
"They agreed with the people in charge of the construction site to put up a stunt so that I could do the stunt, but apparently somebody in the crowd complained and police put a stop to it ."

He said he had already practised once before and builders kindly stopped work for 20 minutes to watch and allow him peace and quiet to find his feet.


ITEM:  More overseas hijinks, this time from one of the stars of my last post, that cradle of civilization, India:

Police in India have come up with an eye-catching way to shame people who urinate in public - by hanging flower garlands around their necks.
A new campaign in the city of Hyderabad sees traffic officers swoop on people spotted relieving themselves on the street, before handing them the colourful neckwear, the Deccan Chronicle reports. Insp Rama Swamy says he got the idea after seeing social workers doing something similar in Delhi several years ago. "After garlanding them, we request them not to create filth and use the public toilets instead," he says. The force has also been handing out chocolates to scooter riders who wear helmets, in an attempt to persuade others to follow suit.


This after the campaign to stop public urination by painting the gods on the targeted walls failed last year, because the transgressors didn't stop and everyone else was cheesed about the sacrilege.  It must be a blast to live there...


ITEM:  London's Simon Smith has had his name changed... to Bacon Double-Cheeseburger.



The Mirror goes on to say that while he enjoys the name, his fiancee has told him she will NOT be "Mrs. Double-Cheeseburger".


ITEM:  Speaking of swaps, it seems that the UK is having a spot of problems with online grocery shopping.  Specifically, there have been some amusing (except to the shopper) items mixed up.  It seems that when an item is out of stock, the computer program is supposed to pick a reasonable substitute, but the computer program being used isn't exactly Watson.  Some of the substitute items include:

A bouquet of Roses instead of Rose wine...

Cherry cola for maraschino cherries...

Lemonade for lemon soap...

Chicken flavored chips for a fresh whole chicken...

A pack of Pampers for sausage rolls...

A roll of toilet paper in place of bolognese sauce...

And my personal favorite, Tampax instead of a head of lettuce.

God help whoever orders a box of Depends...


ITEM:  And finally, I think it was you, Robyn, who shared this one on FB...


The journal Appetite recently published a study by researchers who used data collected from a Maine-Syracuse Longitudinal Study (MSLS), in which 968 people between the ages 23 and 98 were evaluated based on what they were eating, their cardiovascular health, and cognitive functions.

The researchers discovered excellent news: More frequent chocolate consumption was “significantly associated with better performance on [cognitive tests including] visual-spatial memory and organization, working memory, scanning and tracking, abstract reasoning, and the mini-mental state examination.”


So, Doc, wanna tell me again I should lay off the chocolate?  I KNOW BETTER!

8 comments:

  1. I knew Chocolate was a necessary food item! Also, I want a knife wielding monkey.

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  2. Chocolate is a food group. I swear.

    I saw that story about the monkey... CRAZY. I thought our child sized raccoon was bad....

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  3. You certainly don't find news like this in many other places.

    Regarding the urinating in public, I guess if you really got to go maybe there's not much choice. But this past week I've twice seen guys urinating along the public streets here in the L.A. area. Once it was at the bus stop across the street from my house. I haven't seen people doing this since my trip to Ecuador a couple years ago. There I saw a number of guys pissing into the street or against walls. Maybe the guys have bladder problems. Or maybe they're just perverts.

    Arlee Bird
    A to Z Challenge Co-host
    Tossing It Out



    ReplyDelete
  4. Chris:
    Why on God's green earth are people SO damn STOOPID???
    I did like the camo-cat...we have something in common there...lol.

    Little Sisters of the Perpetually Frozen...LMAO - BRILLIANT!

    To Wire-walker: (start a little LOWER)

    India...people who want to act like they've made it to the 19th century (and are still failing) We're in the 21st (in case they were wondering).

    Britain groceries - looks like ALL those immigrants & refugees are paying off...LOL.

    Yes, by all means...bring on the chocolate!

    Very good report.

    Stay safe, warm, and dry up there, brother.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you get all sorts of centuries with India. The beauty of using religion to stratify your society.

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