Follow by Email

What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.


Wednesday, August 31, 2016

What's in a name?

A few days ago, Bobby G and I were politically incorrectly discussing some of the... err, imaginative... names that some of the locals who end up becoming guests of the county lock-up sport.  It began with a recently arrested felon whose birth name was Darquevion- which explains why he was going by the little more digestible nickname of "Pooder".  Bob made the understandable comment asking where these names are invented, to which I had the shameful yet accurate reply:

Name game: You KNOW that all these names come from a slot-machine like device that churns up a 2-letter beginning like La or Da, or sometimes a single letter with an apostrophe; a four to six letter "core word" which is basically a random pick of any six consecutive letters in the Chicago metro phone book; and a three letter ending such as "ius" or "ion" or "dry".

And so it was with this very thing on my mind I later perused the NFL's cut list.  Hang with me, non-sports fans.  The cut list is merely the guys that didn't make the teams as they cut down their rosters for the upcoming season.  And all I want to share here is not football skills (or lack thereof) but proficiency with that very slot machine I described above.  Ready?

Iosia (first and last)

Amazingly, only one of these got the dreaded red squiggle- Donteea.  Seantavius did have a squiggle, but I discovered that I HAD spelled it wrong.

Once upon a time, to make fun of someone's name we had to rely on ill-given last names (like fellow cut-ee Zach Hocker or the guy that beat him out, Ryan Succop*).  And even longer ago, you had to work even harder at it- or get some help from the prospective name of amusement.  For example, back in the mid thirties, a player came to the Major Leagues with the unwieldy name of Johannes Dicksus.  This was too much, apparently, for one player to bear, so he changed it- to Johnny Dickshot.  Yes, Dickshot.  And if that weren't bad enough, he was the self-declared "ugliest man in Baseball", at least until Andy Etchebarren dethroned him in the '60s.

(* I'm not for sure that Succop and Hocker were on the same team.  But Succop still has a job and Hocker will have to wait until Cody Parkey misses three of his first five extra points, so it's all good.)

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Holli's unusual questions part three

Holli has struck again on Monday, so here we go again with the great unusual question game!

WHAT does she want to know TODAY???

 Who is your celebrity crush?

Me:  Man I have had so many through the years!  I don't have a current one, but my first was prolly Ginger on Gilligan's Island (I remember having a really weird dream about her back in the day) or, amazingly, Diana Ross (for whom I had an even weirder dream), and the latest was Martha Jones on Doctor Who.

Scrappy:  Hard to have a crush on someone when you haven't sniffed their... well, you know.

Do you read a lot? Whats your favorite book?

Me: I am somewhere between constant and voracious in reading!  Although of late my genre choices have mainly dwindled to histories, of which Susan Wise Bauer does the best.  If you have a young teen interested in getting more detail on the subject, her "History Of" series is absolutely unbeatable.  Novel wise, I think I have gotten as much enjoyment from Leon Uris- particularly Trinity- as anyone.

Scrappy: I like to lay in the middle of what Daddy's reading.  Because I'm more important.

Money or brains?

Me: What, do I have or do I want?  Assuming the want side, money can make stupidity affordable, but it won't keep you from playing with your toes as an old man.  Since I play with my toes anyway, I'm a bit torn these days.

Scrappy:  Brains can be fried or stewed.  Money is like a really nasty arugula salad.  I'll go brains.

 Do you have a nickname? If so what is it?

Me:  My niece used to call me Popper.  I always liked that, but no one ever uses it.

Scrappy:  Do you have an hour?  Boofus, Poofus, Moofus, Doofus, Booogle, Beadle (KC used to call me that), "old bumpy guy"...

How many times have you been to the hospital?

Me:  Birth, appendix, all four wisdom teeth at once, I think pneumonia, the first kidney stone, and most recently when my right calf decided it wanted to become a big blood filled balloon.

Scrappy:  Well, I had my "berries picked"...

Top 10 favorite songs:

Me: Just ten?  A top three of ELO's Strange Magic, the Four Seasons' Sherry, and the Guess Who with No Time; followed loosely by Manilow's Mandy, England Dan and JF Coley's Nights Are Forever, Percy Faith's A Summer Place Theme; then a grab bag of things like Muriat's Love Is Blue, Vinton's Blue Velvet and Blue On Blue, and America's Sister Golden Hair.

Scrappy:  I like soft songs daddy sings in my ear.

Do you take medications daily?

Me: Yes.  Enough that I use a two-week day planner.

Scrappy: I get a "Boofus pill" (Cosequin) with dinner.

  What is your biggest fear?

Me: Being alone.  And, ironically, crowds.

Scrappy: When the TV screen does that "pop" thing.  I run upstairs.

 what is your skin type ( oily, dry, combo, etc)

Me: I think the natural state is oily...

Scrappy:  Furry.

  whats your go to hair style?

Me:  Comb-over.  It's either that or a tonsure.

Scrappy:  Licked-down.

 What type of house do you live in (big , small, condo,etc)?

Both:  They call it a Townhouse, which is a fancy way of saying, "a two-floor, two bedroom, 1 1/2 bath apartment."

  Who is your role model?

Me: A man who went to join his wife with the Lord several years ago.  His name was Frank, and it's in his honor I wear the Hawaiian shirts.  He taught me more in a shorter time than anyone.

Scrappy:  Daddy, of course.

Holli ended her post by announcing she got a speeding ticket today.  I'll end mine by announcing that won't happen if you keep up with the guy speeding in front of you.

Monday, August 29, 2016

Holli's unusual questions, Chris and Scrappy's unusual answers part two

So last week Holli at Holli's Hoots and Hollers did part one of a list of "unusual questions" in which Scrappy and I played along.  Later in the week, she released the above-linked part two, and today (actually Saturday;  you can do that with a Tardis) we will see how we do on part two:

Sure, why not?

 Favorite Makeup Brands:
 Me:  Please.  I have a natural beauty.
Scrappy: If it can't be taken care of with a tongue, who needs it?

How many times a week do you shower?
Me:  Why, do I offend?  Every night almost without fail.
Scrappy:  Hmm, per week?  Around 0.19...

Favorite TV show:
Me:  This is a wide ranging topic, but to contain it in the here and now, Doctor Who, NCIS, Deadliest Catch.
Scrappy: Scrappy TV, IOW looking out the bedroom window....

  Shoe size:
Me:  Here's the first one I kinda matched Holli on- 7 1/2 or 8, just in mens.
Scrappy:  I don't have shoes, but I am told that scientists think my pads smell like Fritos...

How tall are you?
Me: 5-5 and a smidge
Scrappy: 13 inches at the shoulder, 17 at top of the head.

  Sandals or sneakers?
Me: I don't believe I've wore sandals since the onset of puberty, somewhere in the last century...
Scrappy: I don't suppose I can do the Fritos story again, right?

   Do you go to the gym?
Me: I prefer to lurch towards my coronary with work and short walks.
Scrappy: Sure, at the YDCA, lol!

 Describe your dream date:
Me; Sorry, too old to be romantic- drinks, maybe a burger, at the local sports pub.
Scrappy:  Sniffing butts at the Bark Park

 How much money do you have in your wallet at this moment?
Me: Why, are you behind me with a knife?  $9 American.
Scrappy: Sorry.  No pants, no wallet.

 What color socks are you wearing?
Me:  Invisible at the moment
Scrappy: Well, my foot fur is all-four white...

 How many pillows do you sleep with?
Me: Three to some extent or another
Scrappy: Dad's butt or chair arm.

  Do you have a job? What do you do?
Me: I machine-cut fabric for boat covers
Scrappy: I make sure those around me appreciate life.

How many friends do you have?
Me:  Depends on the definition and who I've pissed off lately
Scrappy:  What?  Aren't we ALL friends?

 Whats the worst thing you have ever done?
Me: Drove home the night I heard Pearl Jam do Last Kiss the first time (#NoMoreDrunkDriving)
Scrappy: Being a dog, I imagine pooping the floor rises towards the top, but once I had a #1 accident in Dad's bed...

Whats your favorite candle scent?
Me: Prolly patchouli
Scrappy:  Do they come in dog butt?

 3 favorite boy names:
Me: Stephen, Randy, and my own, I suppose...
Scrappy:  Well, since dogs know each other by sniffing...

3 favorite girl names:
Me: Sarah, Rachel, Shenandoah
Scrappy:  Ahem...

Favorite actor
Me:  In as much as I have a favorite, John Wayne
Scrappy: Brian (Family Guy)

  Favorite actress
Me: Prolly Sandra Bullock
Scrappy:  Lassie

  Favorite movie
Me:  A Time To Kill or Pulp Fiction, or American Graffitti... or...
Scrappy:  You wouldn't know it... it won an award at Canine Film Festival...

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Sunday message: Skin for skin... for skin... for skin...

This week several preachers have been working on the Book of Job.  One glanced off what I would call the "long view" of this book, and it's where I want to begin.  If you know the story, you know it begins basically in heaven, with God holding court and Satan acting as always as prosecutor.  And though first he convinces God to let down His hedge around Job, when Job does not fall, Satan- whose very name means "accuser"- goes on:

Job 2:3  And Jehovah said unto Satan, Have you set your heart on My servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one who fears God and turns away from evil? And still he is keeping hold of his integrity, although you moved Me against him to destroy him without cause. 
Job 2:4  And Satan answered Jehovah and said, Skin for skin, yea, all that a man has he will give for his life. 
Job 2:5  But indeed put forth Your hand now, and touch his bone and his flesh, and he will curse You to Your face. 

"Skin for skin" is a bit of a controversial phrase, and scholars basically look at the way the word is used in context to give the meaning as, "Job will gladly give his outer skin (his possessions) to save his inner skin (his life)."  Not surprising logic from a serpent, yes?  But let me look at a few ways this phrase comes into play.

1- In the Heavenly realms:  

First of all, think about what you "know" about Satan.  Why, shouldn't he be in Hell at this point, finding new ways of destroying us?  Fact of the matter is, hell hasn't opened for business yet- not in Job's time, and not in ours.  No where in the Bible does it say anyone- much less Satan- has been cast into hell yet.  Instead, he lurks both on earth and in the courtyard of God, "going to and fro in the earth, and from walking up and down in it".   Thus, we often do not have the first clue about what ACTUALLY is going on at God's throne.  And if we did, we couldn't understand it.  Even Satan barely does, if you look at it.  Consider the first discussion between God and Satan:

Job 1:11  But put forth Your hand now, and touch all that he has, and he will curse You to Your face. 
Job 1:12  And Jehovah said to Satan, Behold, all that he has is in your power. Only do not lay your hand upon him. And Satan went forth from the presence of Jehovah. 

Step one, Satan tells God to do something.  Step two, He gives Satan leave to accomplish it.  But then:

And still he is keeping hold of his integrity, although you moved Me against him to destroy him without cause. 

God claims responsibility for Job's calamity.  So who is really responsible?  The first step to understanding what heaven is about is not asking the question "who is responsible", but the question "who is in CONTROL?"  And though we might not understand the "diplomatic intricacies" going on, that is the only fact we really need to understand- God IS in control.

2- In the Heavenly realms II

One thing that was pointed out to me, is that Satan never appeared later on in this book.  And why is that?  Well, when Satan was given the full scope of power that God allowed to harm Job, this is how Job responded:

Job 2:9  And his wife said to him, Do you still hold to your integrity? Curse God and die! 
Job 2:10  But he said to her, You speak as one of the foolish ones speak. What? Shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil? In all this Job did not sin with his lips. 

By holding on to his integrity- even though Job had no idea about the "court case" going on in heaven- the battle had been already won.  Satan's accusations had fallen useless and silent.  The rest of the book dealt with the consequences of the trial and ignored the victory.

3- Man to man

Then came Job's "comforters".  Their version of "skin for skin" said that if the "skin" (outer) was affected, then the "skin" (inner) must be diseased by sin.  Having no knowledge of things beyond what they could see and understand, they packaged their lack of knowledge into a "cause and effect" philosophy that was born of a different set of metaphysical physics than that used in Heaven. In the modern world, we rely on science- which at its best (and Lord knows we have ceased to use it at its best and instead allow it to be agenda-driven) is mere cause and effect- never stopping to think that even if it WERE the logic God uses, we see only the tip of the causes, and the initial ripple of the effects.  And that which we don't see, we deny.  Closed off like that, we judge on our limited scope, and assign God actions based on our causes, which would be backwards EVEN if it weren't so closed off.

4- Man to God

Job has a broader view of God- at least at first:

Job 1:20  And Job arose, and tore his robe, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground and worshiped. 
Job 1:21  And he said, I came naked out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return there. Jehovah gave, and Jehovah has taken away. Blessed be the name of Jehovah. 

But in the end, he had a limited view of God.  He too was judging God on "cause and effect", and most of his speech was centering on wanting to understand the "cause" that was making such a grievous "effect" on him.  By the crescendo, he wanted God to explain Himself, on a "right to know" basis.  What was the "skin for skin" of his calamity?

5- Man to man II:

Then Elihu comes in.  And while he also seems to think Job is at fault, he at least has a more proper grasp on the apparent "cause and effect" of God:

Job 37:10  By the breath of God ice is given; and the expanse of waters is frozen tight. 
Job 37:11  Also He loads the clouds with moisture; He scatters the lightning cloud, 
Job 37:12  and it is turned around by His guidance, so that they may do whatever He commands them on the face of the world in the earth. 
Job 37:13  Whether as a whip, or for His land, or for mercy, He finds it. 

Elihu gets that the "effect of God" might have several causes, some positive, some maybe not.  When we get hit with a Job test, we don't always see this, either.  We- and those who would help us-  think, "why did God allow such a thing?" first and foremost, rather than "what does God intend to accomplish by this?"  Where Job's friends saw God only as a punisher/blesser, Elihu at least saw that there is good intent lurking even in the test.

6- God to man:

Here God points out one thing in several ways- that Job doesn't, and cannot, know the whole story.  And He does it in three ways:  First, He brings up that God has been around a lot longer than Job, and Job wasn't there when the plan- which was, by the way, still in motion- was conceived.

Second, Job had no clue what God did/was doing/could do.  From the change of the seasons to the power of the horse, God was in every detail.  And Job, being NOT God, only saw the peripheries.

Third, God explained to him that his "demand to know" was no more than pride- and his meager abilities were nothing before God.  Why even the great dumb beasts, behemoth and leviathan, shrugged off his best efforts against them without so much as noticing.  And they- all that power with no wisdom- were the very definition of pride.  Against that, Job had no "skin" to bring to the table.

7- God to man II:

Job finally understood, and in his apology to God, he showed where he went wrong:

Job 42:1  And Job answered Jehovah and said, 
Job 42:2  I know that You can do all, and not any purpose is withheld from You. 
Job 42:3  Who is he who hides counsel without knowledge? Therefore I have spoken what I did not understand; things too wonderful for me; yea, I did not know. 
Job 42:4  Hear, I beseech You, and I will speak; I will ask You, and You will cause me to know. 
Job 42:5  I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear; but now my eye has seen You. 
Job 42:6  Therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes. 

First, he recognizes God's omnipotence, and that God had called him on his ignorance.  And once he saw God for who and what He was, he knew he had no standing before Him.

Still, God only wanted the submission, the reverence, from him.  In effect, Job had not "put on the high priests garments" from last week:

He had forgotten what God had done FOR him;
he forgot that God judges rightly, even when we don't get it;
he forgot that our best is dirty rags before Him;
 and most of all, he forgot the reverence due Him.

But receiving this from Job, God acted with mercy:

Job 42:7  And it happened after Jehovah had spoken these words to Job, Jehovah said to Eliphaz the Temanite, My wrath is kindled against you and your two friends. For you have not spoken of Me what is right, as My servant Job has. 
Job 42:8  And now take to yourselves seven young bulls and seven rams, and go to My servant Job, and offer up for yourselves a burnt offering. And My servant Job will pray for you. Surely I will lift up his face so as not to do with you according to your foolishness, in that you have not spoken of Me what is right, like My servant Job. 
Job 42:9  And Eliphaz the Temanite, and Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite, went and did as Jehovah commanded them. Jehovah also accepted the face of Job. 
Job 42:10  And Jehovah turned the captivity of Job when he prayed for his friends. Also Jehovah added to Job all that had been his, to double. 

So in the end, Job was both vindicated and restored.  And Satan was proven wrong, once and for all- it was not God's blessings that made Job righteous; it was Job's righteousness that BROUGHT God's blessings.  And yet, because God had CALLED Job to righteousness, God was still in control.

8- Heavenly realms III:

It made me think that perhaps, in God's court, one day Satan said "Skin for skin! You offer these mortal worms salvation, and they are not worthy!  How can they be redeemed by their own efforts?  They have no "skin" worthy of the prize?" And God answered by sending His own skin, His own Flesh, to be the "skin", to pay the price.  If so, then we better be like Job, cast off our pride, and count on God to be our "skin".

Friday, August 26, 2016

Time Machine week 87

Today we hit August 26, 1967- the day after American Nazi Party leader George Lincoln Rockwell (thus besmirching three good names) was assassinated by John Patler, a former underling who "loved him like a father" but got kicked out of the club for "Bolshevik leanings"- and the day before Beatles manager Brian Epstein, apparently pissed that the "rent boys" he hired to er, entertain at his party didn't show up on time went home and ODed on Carbital.  We, however, will have a better day because-

As in, the beginning of year two of the M10!  And 10 will be the theme as we look at the songs that got to number ten and no farther, as well as the top ten albums (according to Billboard's top 200 of all time list) that I actually owned- and just maybe, the top ten on the list I wouldn't have in my house!  Plus the usual stuff, including a cameo by Alvin and the Chipmunks!  You could kick off your shoes, but if you have five fingers on each hand you won't need to!  Let's go!


(BTW- if you are waiting for that promised ice cream and cake, you already had it.  It was delicious!  But then you got really drunk during the party, and well, I had to go back and erase it from your memory. I couldn't save the cake, sorry...)


As I fumble through my notes for the right page, introduce yourself to this week's Panel:  WSAM Saginaw; WFIL Philadelphia; KNIT Abilene (there has to be a joke here about knitting, needles, and turntables- some assembly required); WMAK Nashville; KOL Seattle; CHLO St Thomas ONT; WMCA New York;  WING Dayton; WGEM Quincy; WBSR Pensacola; WLLH Lowell MA; and KFXM San Bernardino.  This group gave us 27 different songs on 26 45s (explain that one in a bit), including the non P4 #1s- Happy by the Sunshine Company (Saginaw), Neil Diamond's Thank The Lord For The Night Time (Nashville), Apples Peaches Pumpkin Pie by Jay and the Techniques (St Thomas)The Box Tops with The Letter (San Bernie)- and one that also makes that low charter list.  That would be Bettye Swan's Make Me Yours- #1 in Florida despite having peaked back in July and since exiting the CB chart.

Also in our bottom charter story, we have the #2 in Abilene, the Easybeats with Heaven And Hell- a song that peaked nationally at #92 earlier in the month; the mind-bent Wayne Fontana with 24 Sycamore, a song that never charted here (but did peak at 33 in Australia) in the Dayton #5 slot; Dusty Springfield's version of The Look Of Love which would sneak into the national charts in November, but was #3 in San Bernie.  And the lowest actual charter was Peter Paul and Mary, just starting their climb with I Dig Rock N Roll Music at #86.

In addition, since I'm not doing the 6D this week, I should mention that the highest Cashbox charter that got bupkiss from the Panel was the Buckinghams' Mercy Mercy Mercy at #7.

The Panel picks:

At #4, a record I grew up playing- with 14 points and the #1s of Lowell and Seattle- the national #19, Bobby Vee and Come Back When You Grow Up.

At #3, bereft of #1s but with 16 points, the national #8, the Supremes and Reflections.

At #2- and here's where that "27 songs on 26 45s" comes in- a two sided disc from the Monkees, Pleasant Valley Sunday (which was #6 on CB) and Words (which, in the only time the Panel credited it as the main song, got the only Panel #1- and was #5 on CB), with the one #1 (Quincy) and 17 points.

And the Panel #1- with 4 #1s and 44 points, charting on 11 out of 12 panel charts- the national # 1 as well- stay tuned.


I have two debuts for you, and they share a common theme- that they charted, and charted higher in the UK.  The first is a song I heard on a recent Battle Of The Bands, the original of the song Somewhere Only We Know by a UK band called Keane.  They hit 50 here in 2004 and #3 in the UK with it. And now, at #10 on the M10....


So one of the things I tumbled across was Billboard's top 200 lps of all time.  I think I did something with the main list before, so this time, I'm going to share the top ten of lps I actually owned in one form or another.

10- Technically, this should be Santana's Abraxas, which BB had at #114.  However, since I bought it at a garage sale on cassette and then never listened to it, we'll go with the #118 instead- Nirvana's Nevermind.

9- Asia's debut lp, which restored my hope in music after endless days of Donna Summer, Anita Ward and the like.

8- I could call technicality on this one too, as it was my ex-wife's, but since I did willingly listen to it; Wilson Phillips at #84 goes here.

7- Fleetwood Mac (you know, the album before Rumours), the #74.

6- Sgt Pepper by the Beatles which I believe is sitting somewhere nearby.  I won it on an early BOTBs a while back.  It sits at #54.

5- Pearl Jam's debut, 10.  Definitely a "wore the tape out and bought the cd" deal here. #45 on the BB list.

4- Hootie And The Blowfish, Cracked Rear View.  A masterpiece at #30 on BB.

3- The aforementioned Rumours.  Both the Fleetwood Mac tapes were garage sale acquisitions long after I knew most of the songs by heart.  #15 on the list.

2- Carole King's Tapestry, another masterpiece that sits at their #10.

And, amazingly enough at #1-

Proof positive that occasionally she took a good picture, Alanis Morrisette's Jagged Little Pill.


I thought it would be a neat idea, once Cashbox returned to the living a couple weeks ago, to find out all the Martin Era tunes that peaked at #10.  How many could there be, I said.  Answer, allowing for bleary-eyed mistakes, 218 of them, by 175 individual acts, if you include the time in 1973 that the Monster Mash recharted.  So I said to myself, what can I do with this list ( Time Machine wise, smartass), and decided to figure up who peaked the most times at ten.  Well, 13 acts did it twice (kinda) and 9 did it three times (kinda).  The "kinda" comes in with the Four Seasons, who did it legitimately twice with Bye Bye Baby (Baby Goodbye), and Working My Way Back To You- and once as the "Wonder Who" with the Dylan cover Don't Think Twice, It's Alright.

The others that got three included Johnny Rivers, the Temptations, Tom Jones, Aretha Franklin, James Brown, Stevie Wonder, John Lennon (under various permutations of the Plastic Ono Band theme), and yes, Barry Manilow.  Three acts got as many as four- The Stones, The Beatles, and Marvin Gaye.

But one, just one, had SIX.  And the King of hitting #10 is...

...The King, who did it with One Broken Heart For Sale, Kissin' Cousins, Ask Me, Kentucky Rain, The Wonder Of You, and You Don't Have To Say You Love Me!


Time for that other debut, and this one was top ten in the UK (in fact, I got it from our UK10 a few weeks ago) but only in the 70s here.  And this is his second hit on the M10 after discovering it on the UK10!  AND, it's from the same lp!  From Ruff 'n' Ready, here's Jimmy Ruffin at # 9...


Next up, Since Tom Jones got a mention on the last special, and he's in the UK 10, how about a quote from the man hisself:

So when I realised I could sing for a living - do what I loved and be paid for it - I thought, 'This is unbelievable. Unbelievable!' And that feeling has never left me. 

And we're glad of that!  Here goes the UK 10:

10- Up Up And Away- not by the 5D but by the Johnny Mann Singers. Johnny's most interesting claim to fame is that he was the voice of Theodore in the fist prime-time series back in '62 for Alvin and the Chipmunks!

9- The Mamas and the Papas with Creeque Alley, which peaked here in June.

8- Stevie Wonder with I Was Made To Love Her, #15 in the States this week.

7- Dave Davies of the Kinks with a solo (like Frankie Valli's My Eyes Adored You was a solo) called Death Of A Clown.  DNC here.

6- Written by Dusty Springfield's brother Tom, sung by Anita Harris, the tune Just Loving You (which peaked at #120 here).

5- The Alan Price Set (Price the original drummer in the Animals, later with George Fame) and another DNC here, The House That Jack Built.

4- A tune that would crack the top 40 in November, the Tremeloes with Even The Bad Times Are Good.

3- The #2 back home, the Beatles and All You Need Is Love.

2- The aforementioned Mr Jones with a song that would go top ten here- in about 2 years- I'll Never Fall In Love Again.

And tops of the pops?

...Scott McKenzie with San Francisco (Be Sure To Wear Flowers), which hit #4 here back last month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


So looking at the BB 200 list, I see it would be too easy to load up a no-likey list with crap I haven't and have little interest in hearing.  So instead, I opted to share with you a back up list- my top ten favorite songs that peaked at #10!  And they would be...

10- Yvonne Elliman, Love Me.  As I do all her stuff.
9- Morris Albert, Feelings.  Say what you will, it has a special place for me.
8- Tom Jones yet again, with It's Not Unusual.
7- A tune we've discussed before: Four Jacks and a Jill with Master Jack.
6- A song that always takes me to some ancient vacation spot, Yes and Roundabout.
5- A soft guitar tune from the mid-70s, Keith Carradine and I'm Easy.
4- One of the few late 70s songs I love this much, Chris Rea and Fool If You Think It's Over.
3- Carole King- no surprise- with So Far Away.
2- C'mon, you know the Four Seasons were on the list!  Working My Way Back To You, a song, that sounds brand new to me every time I hear it.

And #1- this wasn't even a question-

England Dan Seals and John Ford Coley and Nights Are Forever Without You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


And finally, the M10 week 53:

You know 10 and 9.  And 8 and seven move up a pair each- Dinosaur Jr with Tiny and M.A.G.S. with My Love, respectively.

Acres Wild dips a pair to #6 with Pastel Waves.

The madmen from New Zealand, Shakes move up 3 to #5 with Strange Tides.

Quilt rolls up one more to #4 with Roller.

The Pom Poms dip a notch to #3 with 1-2-3.

Phantogram pounds at the door, up one to #2 with Fall In Love.

And at the top?  M10 says...

...The Explorers Club with California's Callin' Ya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And on top of the Panel... in a runaway...

...Bobbie Gentry and Ode To Billy Joe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Assuming that everything will be back to normal next week, join us for- 1965!  Nuff said!

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Fun stuff and list stuff

So today was a day at work that was best described by me early on.  We are in prototyping for 2017 mode and after an avalanche of what I used to call "protorhea", I told one person, "I can't fart back there without (the big boss) flying out my ass with a proto in his hand!"

Note: spellcheck gives me a squiggle on "protorhea" despite the quote marks, but misses when first attempt at f-a-r-t comes out f-a-t-r.  Go figure.

Anyway, we went for another afternoon walk.  I got a couple of cool butterfly pictures...

But the picture I SHOULD have taken came a bit later, when we were on the way back and happened upon "home base" for a gaggle of high-school girls who daily (along with their male counterparts) go running around in this heat like they are a bunch of young whippersnappers (which they are).  So Scrappy, in his best Don Juan mode, wanders into the midst of these ladies, and starts getting attention.  So he SITS DOWN right in the middle of them and gives me the "top THAT, b!t@#!" look.  (Well, maybe I would if I were the one getting petted and being declared "new mascot."  I don't see that as very likely, thank you...)

Anyway, I just saw yet another of those "answer the question" deals over on Holli's Hoots and Hollers, and I thought I might play along as well.  Here goes, with Scrappy and me answering:

 1*   Spotify,Soundcloud,Pandora, iheartradio?  

Me:  Spotify.  Pandora never really dialed me in.
Scrappy: I get yelled at if I spotify.

  2   Is your room messy or clean?

Me: Depends on if the wash in the dryer is still sitting there, with the hamper sitting along side, or whether I've actually put it away.
Scrappy:  MY room.  I have a HOUSE, not just a room.  Other than an occasional toy and the downstairs bathroom rug, I don't mess up nothing.

3 What color are your eyes?

Me: Brown.  Yep, full up to there.
Scrappy:  Brown.  So they tell me.

4 Do you like your name? Why?

Me:  Yes, it means Christ-bearer, which is cool.  My dad always claimed I got my first and middle names so my initials could match our doctor at the time, CW Dahling.  Of course, he thought Robert Mitchum and Robert Young were the same guy, too, so...

Scrappy:  WHICH ONE?  I get called Boofus, Doofus, Poofus (when I toot), Moofus (when I eat grass), Oofus (when I stop on the leash and Dad doesn't)....

5  What is your relationship status?

Me: Laurie and I are pretty much permanent roommates.  Think of it as "married without benefits", lol.

Scrappy:  I sleep with Dad.  Do the math.

6  Describe your personality in 3 words or less?

Me: In the words of Boomer Berman:  Rumbling, stumbling, bumbling...

Scrappy:  Beagle chic.

7 What color hair do you have?

Me: Grey, formerly brown, losing the war with gravity.

Scrappy: Black, brown, tan, and white.  With a little grey.

8-  What kind of car do you have and what color?

Me: Black 2009 Impala.
Scrappy: Me too.

9  Where do you shop?

Me: Kroger when able, Wal-Mart by necessity.
Scrappy:  Dad says, "I used to have a friend who said, "I wouldn't want to be a dog.  Dogs can't buy things." "

10 How would you describe your style?

Me:  Top of the clothes pile, covered on weekends with Hawaiian shirts.

Scrappy:  Should I have put "Beagle chic" here?

11  Favorite social media account:

Me:  Blogging is my favorite medium, though I would hesitate to call Blogger my favorite anything.

Scrappy:  I'll go with Facebook.  Dad embarrasses me less there.
Me: You do know every post publishes to FB, right?
Scrappy: (sigh)

12 What size bed do you have?

Me:  Barely enough for me and him.
Scrappy.  Plenty of room, just MOVE OVER!

13  Favorite snapchat filter?

Me and Scrappy:  Don't do Snap chat.  I have a simple phone and Scrappy is phoneless.
Scrappy:  Hey, wait?  Don't I get an answer?
Me: I gave yours, but feel free.
Scrappy:  Thank you.  Uh... what he said.

14  If you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? Why?

Me: On a lake.  Because, water.
Scrappy: An all-night restaurant.  Because, food.

15 Any siblings?

Me: Two brothers, two sisters.  All at least ten years older, and thankfully all still above ground.
Scrappy:  What am I?  Ancestry.Com?

Monday, August 22, 2016

You aren't getting older, you're getting dumber

This week was the annual draft for our fantasy football league.  I won't bore you much with the details other than it is our 20th season, from 1997 (when it was just me and the kids) to now (when it's me, KC, Laurie, and Scrappy).  In this endeavor, there are three things that make it really fun.  Third place is congratulating each other after a really good pick.  Second is honestly helping Laurie with her picks.  But the top has to be a tie between guessing the other guys next pick and taking them first, and suggesting the other guy draft somebody even Scrappy wouldn't be dumb enough to draft.  Every now and again, one of those guys will get drafted, so pat KC on the back if Giants RB Paul Perkins does anything, lol!

Anyway, somewhere late in the draft, Laurie tried to take Michael Crabtree, and I said that somebody had taken him.  However, I had forgot to scratch his name off my list, and I didn't see him right away, so I told her to go ahead.  About 5 picks later, we found him on one of KC's teams, so we had her re-draft the spot.  But she didn't need to because the team in question (we each have 4, with Scrappy being one of Laurie's) had somehow an extra pick.  Later on, I discovered that two of us drafted the Oakland Defense (why I don't know), and had to fix that.  Figuring we had it all sussed out, I decided to treat the former hospital patient and current "I have 2 cents in my pockets" to a couple of beers... and then a couple more... and of course a Duck Fart shot... at the local pool bar.

Now another age related boo-boo had already been foremented, but we wouldn't find it until Sunday, so we enjoyed a rousing few games of pool.  I figured I was in big trouble right off the bat when I couldn't get our table to swallow my 4 quarters.  Eventually, we discovered you kinda had to fondle the coins while in their slots to get them JUST right.  The games were a lot like our typical games- a collection of idiotic misses punctuated heavily by BAL, throwing in about 3 balls each of the other guy's put in each game, and the occasional ball that amazingly went in as planned.  But the results ended a little one sided- we each scratched on the 8-ball the first two games, then KC did it twice again, and finally I put in the 8-ball correctly with an amazing shot that was normally well beyond my skill level.  By that time we were ready to go pull up a couple chairs on the veranda in hopes that another bee might come by and make this one well-endowed blonde girl jump up and down in fear (we had already watched this from the window while playing until they drowned the poor soldier with about half of their pitcher of beer).

Which brings us to the next day, a day I had to do some shopping, so I dropped Laurie off and hunted down items at the amazingly ill-stocked Wal-Mart she works at.  My main concern was to get me a new bottle of vitamins- mine had run out days before- and while I managed to forget them, I did manage to get me two bags of my potato chips- just a day after Laurie bought me the same two bags.  Wondering at my sudden-onset dementia (but not realizing the worst was still lying in wait), I decided Scrappy and I would drown my sorrows in a walk.

Sparkly geese

Feather caught a breeze and took off at about 40 knots

"And here I sit while he watches feather-sailing..."

The soccer fields seemed still bone dry- not so the Alumni Center.  Of course, that was leftovers from yesterday's 5-minute hurricane just after the draft.

Beautiful clear day

Two years ago, we named this Mushroom Ridge because of all the fungi everywhere.  Haven't seen one in two seasons...

Now, see, the little kids festival games played just fine.  But the fields where the high school and college kids were going to play are "flooded."  Let's be honest, IPFW- if you don't want your fields messed up with cleats, just plant them all in fricking begonias and have done with it.

Some buttered popcorn looking fungi

In front of our best tree friend, the Big Guy.

See?  Big.

These looked like refugees from the Undersea World of Jacques Cousteau

And shortly after we got home, I got the bright idea of making our league a "preseason schedule" and seeing how we did.  It was then that I discovered between me (pleading old age) and KC ("I was distracted helping Laurie"), one of his teams missed their LAST EIGHT PICKS.  This was a first in 20 years of playing this game!  A phone call and some mutual humility later, we got it all straightened out.  But man, today I made sure I took two vitamins!

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Sunday message- the high priest's new clothes

Sometimes it is hard to glean an applicable message from the myriad of rules that God gave Moses in the Book of Exodus.  Everything from what to do with an ox thief to what to do when a fight between two men accidentally causes a miscarriage in a bystanding woman.  So sometimes you have to pull back and look at the big picture.  For me this week, the big picture begins in chapter 19.  God has already given Moses instructions about coming up to get the Ten Commandments, and Moses is about ready to head up the mountain.  But then God repeats a command, and Moses tries to get away with a "yeah, did that":

Exo 19:21  And Jehovah said to Moses, Go down. Command the people, lest they break through to Jehovah to gaze, and many of them perish. 
Exo 19:22  And let the priests also, who come near to Jehovah, sanctify themselves, lest Jehovah break forth upon them. 
Exo 19:23  And Moses said to Jehovah, The people cannot come up to Mount Sinai. For You commanded us, saying, Set bounds around the mountain, and sanctify it. 

God had indeed already said that, one day and  11 verses before.  If Moses thought it was a wise thing to question the memory of God, he learned different next:

Exo 19:24  And Jehovah said to him, Away! You go down, and you shall come up, you and Aaron with you. But do not let the priests and the people break through to come up to Jehovah, lest He break forth upon them. 

Here's the thing, God puts His faith in His own words.  Man's words? not so much, a caution that would soon be born out.  But it isn't about caution- God KNEW men would screw up.  Think about this:  The Ten Commandments took 17 verses to complete (Ex 20:1-17); but then, God added more specific rules that would have been unnecessary had He been able to trust the people who had agreed to the list.  First, he added kind of a "Bill of Wrongs" that took another 105 verses across three + chapters- before He even told Moses to go down and get their agreement!  Then He spends another 8 chapters just on how to set up the Tabernacle in which He would contact them.  And at the end of that 8 chapters/40 days, what He KNEW would happen did- the people rebelled.  Even though they could see the smoke and fire of God on the mountain, they said, "Well, Moses must be fried by now.  Time to pick a new god and go back to Egypt."

A sermon I heard this week made the point that these people had seen God, had seen Him do amazing things, knew that He was there.  But they didn't have FAITH.

God realizes that He is asking a lot out of sheep to have faith.  And He knew we would screw up.  RIGHT FROM THE START.  How amazing that He is so understanding.  As I read on, I finally got to the part about the High Priest's outfit.  And I noticed five specific things that He required to come into His presence, even in so limited a way.  And they have applications for us.

The first was a rather complicated breastplate, which bore in two separate ways the names of the sons of Jacob, "Over his heart as a memorial".  You have no doubt heard that everyone should pick a life verse.  Mine is 1 Samuel 7:12:

Then Samuel took a rock and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer [Rock of Help] and said, "Until now the LORD has helped us."   To me, this means that we can look back at our lives, at ALL the places God has helped us, like memorial stones that have led us to where we are.  A line of memorials that tell us He's always been with us.  This  breastplate was like that- a memorial to the men of Faith that brought them there.

Right after that, carried in a pocket inside the plate, against his heart, were the Urim and Thummim, which were basically a pair of dice that were used when they wanted God's decision on something.  They represent God's judgement, His guidance of our lives.  

Then, on the edge of the garment, were a series of gold bells and gold pomegranates to ring them.

Exo 28:35  And it shall be on Aaron to serve. And his sound shall be heard when he goes in to the holy place before Jehovah, and when he comes out, so that he will not die. 

This was a reminder of the reverence required to approach the Lord.  Two of Aaron's sons would soon learn that the cost of irreverence would be their lives.  God wants us to talk to Him, to rant at Him, to question Him at times even as Job did- but as Job learned, you do it with respect and reverence.

The next one confused me a bit, as I wasn't quite sure of what it was saying:

Exo 28:36  And you shall make a plate of pure gold, and carve on it, like the engravings of a signet, HOLINESS TO JEHOVAH. 
Exo 28:37  And you shall put a ribbon on it, and it shall be on the miter; to the front of the miter it shall be. 
Exo 28:38  And it shall be on Aaron's forehead, so that Aaron may bear the iniquity of the holy things which will sanctify the sons of Israel in all their holy gifts. And it shall always be on his forehead, so that they may be accepted before Jehovah. 

"The iniquity of the Holy things"?  As I dug into it, I learned that the concept was, even the best we can give was profane before God.  For Aaron, it meant he was to bear the sins of even the best of intentions.  For us, it is a reminder that works avail nothing without Christ to pay the price.  All our righteousness is but filthy rags, remember?

And the final thing cuts to the core of the matter:

Exo 28:42  And you shall make them linen breeches to cover the naked flesh; from the loins even to the thighs they shall reach. 
Exo 28:43  And they shall be upon Aaron, and upon his sons, when they come in to the tabernacle of the congregation, or when they come near the altar to minister in the holy place; so that they do not bear iniquity, and die. It shall be a statute forever to him and his seed after him. 

Even with all the previous finery on them, they were naked.  They had to be properly covered.  This reminds me of the parable of the wedding feast:

Matt 22 11 “But when the king came in to see the guests, he noticed a man there who was not wearing wedding clothes. 12 He asked, ‘How did you get in here without wedding clothes, friend?’ The man was speechless.

13 “Then the king told the attendants, ‘Tie him hand and foot, and throw him outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

14 “For many are invited, but few are chosen.”

This final piece is acceptance of Christ's blood for your sins.  Without that, you are still running around without pants.  How much of the High Priests gear do YOU still need to put on?

Saturday, August 20, 2016

The great IPFW flood of 2016

So the big scandal up this way is IPFW cancelling their hosted games of the Shindigz National Soccer Festival.  They claimed that fields 1 through 5 were flooded and unplayable.

Fields 1 and 2 on either side of the blue "stands", e-5 are below, which is actually north.  For those like me that consider north to be "up" and south "down", a lot of things begin making sense right off the bat.
Of course I couldn't wait to dive into this debate, and promptly shared my standard rant about IPFW's lack of drainage installation on the fields (at least the new ones) and how they f'ed up the hydrology of the entire area on the NSF Facebook page.  Hours later, NSF LIKED my post.  I sense a little tension here... the next day, a dude shared this bit of infopinion:

 Strangely enough the fields that are closed (1-5) all have drain tile. IPFW is too protective.

So off trotted Scrappy and I to ascertain the truth of the situation.  We came down from the north (or up if you are an IPFW mapper)...

Here we are facing north away from the fields in question.  Looks like they might have had a Cushman on the grass a little too soon...

This dip is between the trail and the field just north of 3-5.  No water here...

Now you are looking across the top of field #3.  Believe me, I have sloshed down this track when the field was bone dry.  And the woods spur in front of us is the dead last to dry, ever.

No wetter than a hard dew at 10 AM.

Here we are closing in on where the play area abuts the swamp on the north end.  Nothing.

The ONLY standing water we saw anywhere close to any of the five fields was here at the north edge of #5.  That water ended a good five yards from any playing area.

About here, Scrappy's bad leg started acting up.  The vet says he has a kneecap that slides out of place.  So we took a break, I rubbed his leg.  He started rolling on his back.  If you look, there is about a three-inch drop from the grass to the bare ground on the fence line.  Scrappy rolled right off of this with a thud.  When he got up, his leg was 90% normal.

Field #5 itself? Bone dry.

Badly in need of some proof of flooding, we figured if we couldn't find it around the Duck Pond, we'd never find it.  We did find a deer (who tore into the pond without so much as a splash), but no flooding.  Scrappy was already recovered enough to chase the deer- about five feet.

Suddenly, we found floodi... no, no, that''s the river.

The area between the south end of the Duck Pond can be the most treacherous, often rice-paddy-like, area in our journey.  No troubles today.

We finally reached Field #2.  Just look at all that no water.

However, we did learn that FB dude was right about the drainage.  Wow, is this an x-ray vision picture or something?

No, they've just got it tore up in the very back.  No evidence of flooding being the reason.  So why are you cancelling your games, IPFW?

And here's the main field, where the marquee games WOULD have been played.  Still no water.

So we have to come to the conclusion of A) IPFW IS too protective, B) they just don't want to have the grass around the fields torn up like they were during the Inflatable 5K earlier in the month, C) yet another clever insurance dodge (damn those liability payments!), or D) Purdue's Ag team defines a flood as "the grass is wet in spots."

Meanwhile, we ran into that deer again...

Right about then we found he had a buddy...

As we moved on, we saw that the south canal was back to normal...

...and it was a great night to be on the river.  BTW, that is NOT a Dowco canopy.

On the way home, we ran into Scrappy's buddy Theo...

In talking to Theo's Dad, he asked me, "Hey,  I thought they were gonna have that wing-ding soccer deal this weekend..."  I swept an arm behind me and exclaimed, "They had to cancel because of all this flooding!"

 And finally, Mr. Bunny greeted us on the way home.