Tuesday, August 16, 2016
Playing Newspage Go!
This is going to be more of a hybrid "Who's Dumber" sort of thing today. And we kick things off on the fly with...
STOP #1: Things you hear from liberal media
Now this isn't an attack on the media- just sharing a couple of radio- related incidents at work. I was listening to NPR today (because I wasn't interested in music and the other alternative was Glen Beck), and they were talking about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz's tight primary race. I found it interesting to listen to the left leaning NPR people actually weighing in in an internecine battle. But after hearing the end of the story, I said, "Dear God, as stupid as these people were to put her IN office in the first place (IMHO), they're certainly not going to take the next step and put THIS clown in?" Why, you ask, is her opponent a clown? Well, it seems that during a recent debate, DWS lambasted him because, on his website, he has a plan to "disarm the Middle East". Yeah, I know you're laughing already, but wait. DWS, a good Jew herself, hit him hard about how he could even suggest stripping Israel of weapons in that neighborhood. According to NPR, "Put on the spot, he replied that Israel wasn't included in the plan."
So, what's worse than a candidate who seriously thinks he can take weapons away from Israel? How about one that thinks there is one living Arab who will had over THEIR weapons while Israel keeps theirs.
Meanwhile, our floor boss was listening to the aforementioned Beck, who was having fun with a clip from the Kardashian's show. Apparently one of the ladies recently visited Cuba. When the other asked if it was terrible, the traveller said "No, it's great, that guy's been in charge for like 50 years and he knows what he's doing."
Meanwhile, in the part of Havana ( the other 95%) where the limo driver DIDN'T go...
But I had to tell my co-worker, "Well, that's the SECOND dumbest thing I've heard today..."
STOP #2: If you get frequent manicures, you are probably NOT a monster
Apparently deceased Nazi Joseph Goebbels' former secretary, 105-year-old Brunhilde Pomsel, has just come out with her life story in a short (rather ironic, no?) film presented at the Munich Film Festival called A German Life. The title of the Fox News article about it, Joseph Goebbels' secretary: Working for Nazi 'just another job', intrigued me, so I had a peek inside. And there I found this:
She described Goebbels – who rallied Germany to Hitler’s cause and covered up the German ruler’s crimes – in glowing terms, commenting on his “gentlemanly countenance” and remarking about his well-kept nails.
“He had well-groomed hands – he probably had a manicure every day,” Pomsel told The Guardian, laughing. “There was really nothing to criticize about him.”
Well, they obviously did a good job getting the blood out from under his nails. She goes on:
“Those people nowadays who say they would have stood up against the Nazis – I believe they are sincere in meaning that, but believe me, most of them wouldn’t have,” Pomsel said.
Well, at least the ones that think that a manicure is the highest form of humanity, I guess.
STOP # 3: The Price Is Right
The newspage had a link to "The most popular restaurant in the Olympic Village Is...", so I guessed McDonalds (because cheeseburgers!), and peeked into this one and...
I was right. But with a good reason.
It seems the McD's at the Village is giving FREE food to the athletes. And even strict training regimens are no match, and the lines seem to go on forever...
Until the other day. In an effort to slow the wild success of the venture, the restaurant has put a cap on how many items one person can get at a time. Capped at 20 (yes, two-zero) items. Not that I blame the athletes. If you put a McDonalds across from my place, and they even just said, "You can get what you want at 1975 prices", they're marquee might just as well read, "You too can look like Michael Moore..."
STOP # 4: The headline says enough
Keep in mind, this story is about a 19-year old in Florida (what, again!?) who got pissed off at slow service in a restaurant and decided to take it out on some random couple. The header?
Double-murder suspect allegedly bit face off victim
Thank God he wasn't trying to get service at the Olympic Village McDonalds...
STOP # 5: And that's why you use the parasol
You've got to read it like it's written to get the funny here. From BBC:
Russia uses Iran for Syria air strikes
So Russia has given up high explosives, and is now dropping "Iran" on ISIS. Thus, they are able to drive out the enemy and fertilize the ground in one shot.