Follow by Email

What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.


Friday, January 6, 2017

Time Machine Coordinates VVII4102017ALPHABC

Welcome to the Time Machine Beauty Contest episode!  This week we'll be doing a special 2-location TM in honor of the two lovely ladies we lost recently- Carrie Fisher and her Mom, Debbie Reynolds!

And we are doing that by splitting this into teams! And years- because the week of Carrie's first birthday, Mom hit #1 with her big hit Tammy!  So this is what you are about to get:  First up, the Presidential poll of songs for the month of Carrie's birth, October 1956.  I had to do a month's worth because my source doesn't have a lot of station charts in '56, so what I did is take the #1s from the whole month, eliminate same-station repeats, and came up with our candidates for the month.  Your Presidential pick list for Team Carrie contains:

Elvis with the week's #1 on Cashbox, Don't Be Cruel.
Another of the acts we lost in 2016, Jim Lowe with the week's #5, The Green Door.
The instrumental Honky Tonk by Bill Doggett, currently #3.
The first of two novelty hits from Li'l Abner for Don Cherry, If I Had My Druthers (neither of the DC songs chart).
Elvis with the flip side, Love Me Tender, which was #2.
The other Don Cherry tune, the more famous Namely You (at least you CAN find this one on YouTube).
And my personal favorite of the group- from the movie High Society, Bing Crosby and Grace Kelley with True Love, which sat at #8 on CB.

Okay, if you've been here the last few weeks you know the drill, pick the winner of the most #1 votes and wait for results at the end!  And now, how about the ladies of Team Carrie!

Jana Kramer...

Julie London...

Marilyn McCoo...

Crista Ru of Powers...

Petula Clark...
...and three others who you'll see in the final round!

Next up, and in-between the two teams, we have our one-and only M10 debut.  This is from a Brooklyn "Bubble Grunge" act called Charly Bliss, fronted by our first official 2017 candidate, Eva Hendricks...

Ruby debuts at #10 this week.


And now, the charts not quite one year later.  Tammy had fallen from the top 3 weeks before and was at #6, but I wanted to do one from it's FIRST of 7 CB weeks at the top, and give Debbie a chance to be this week's co-President.

Hey hey, this is Mickey Dolenz, and I object!  You've always let the President of the week intro the acts before, and as representative for America's favorite rock'n'roll band, the Monkees, I have to protest!  First you skipped the one we would have introed LAST week, and now...

Say no more, Mickey- please!  You are absolutely right.  Please go ahead and intro the Team Debbie Candidates.

The girls?

No, the songs.

That's a rip-off!

The question is moot.  I get the girls!

Okay, okay.  Here are the candidates for the Debbie Team, from the week of August 17th, 1957...

The Schoolboys, a local east coast band, with Carol, which didn't chart nationally.
The Dell-Vikings with Cool Shake, stuck at #50 on CB.
Paul Anka's Diana, which was #10.
The Four Lads with Eyes Of God, which would peak at #49 late the next month.
Pat Boone with his heavy metal hit, Gold Mine In the Sky... oh, not heavy metal?   Anyway, it was at #20 on CB.
Johnny Mathis with It's Not For Me To Say, which was #5;
Here's one everybody knows- Rainbow by Russ Hamilton, which was #15.
The next song was called Soft Sands, and while it charted in the USA by the Chordettes, this particular version was from Canada's Dorothy Collins.  Because we had an FCC rule or something.
Elvis was on this list as well, with Teddy Bear at #2 nationally...
AND the #1 song, of course, Tammy.  Is that it?

Yep, thanks Mickey!  So now you can pick your winner from this list, too, and I'll help you narrow it down in a bit.  But now, it's time for Team Debbie...

Brooke Annibale...

Dami Im, aka the last girl cut...

Melody Prochet of the Echo Chamber...

Elisabeth Ellison of Radiation City...

Ruth B...
... and three others who you'll see in just a little bit!


And now, just to have it in, most of the rest of the M10!

Radiation City slips to #9 with Come And Go in week #10- making it and the M50 #1 Quiet Corners by the Jayhawks the only 10-week charters in M10 history!

Also slipping, though a steeper five spots to #8- The Shacks and This Strange Effect.

Ducktails makes a 2-spot climb to #7 with Surreal Exposure.

From here, the competition is deadly, and I told Laurie these spots might not even move next week.  First, moving 4 to #6 are the Hidden Cameras with Day I Left Home.

At 5, up 3, is Puddle Of Mudd with Gimme Shelter.

At #4, managing only one spot up, is Black Joe Lewis and the Honeybears with PTP.

Also up one spot (again), is Rad City with Zombies at #3.

After 3 weeks at #1- how about three weeks at #2 for the El Michels Affair and the Shacks with Strange Boy!

And number one at the end, or thereabouts....


Clue time: If your pick on the Carrie poll was anybody but Elvis, go sit down.  On the Debbie poll, there are only three of the group that got multiple votes, so you who have Russ Hamilton, Dorothy Collins, Four Lads, Dell-Vikings, Johnny Mathis, or Elvis bumper stickers, sorry 'bout your luck.


And now, allow me to reveal to you the final six...  First, from Team Carrie:

Helo Pinheiro, the Girl from Ipanema...

Jane Birkin...

And Marsha Hunt!

And the ladies from Team Debbie:

Jahan Yousaf from Krewella...

Marika Justad from Tangerine...

And Agnes Obel!

And now we careen towards the finale.  And the Team Carrie President this week winning 31.25 % to 25%-

Elvis with Don't Be Cruel!!!!!!!!!!!

He'll share the next week Presidency with the winner of the Debbie poll, with 26.7% of the vote...

...Paul Anka with Diana!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


All right, the moment is here.  The names are thrown in a hat...

Our judge is ready...

The choices laid before him, and...

He makes the choice!!!!
And our 2016 Time Machine Beauty Contest winner....

In just a sec.  Let me first say that the M10 #1 is Melody's' Echo Chamber with I Follow You- marking another M10 first- the last 3 #1s have spent 3 weeks each at the top!

And now... the winner....

  JANE BIRKIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good Scrappy!  Good Boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Tune in next week for a more regular dose of fun!


  1. Hi, Chris!

    The Prodigal Shady returns! :)

    The Time Machine has landed on 2017 B.C. and I have come back to view this cavalcade of comeliness... this plethoric parade of pulchritudinous pretties... as Scrappy Martin, "The Canine Connoisseur of Cute," presents The 52nd Annual T.A.W. Time Machine Beauty Contest... (not affiliated with Rip Taylor’s $1.98 Beauty Show created by Chuck Barris).

    In the weeks since I was last here it seems like half of the world's entertainment industry has died. It was uncanny to have Carrie Fisher and her mother Debbie Reynolds pass away a day apart. I was not aware that Jim Lowe also died in December 2016. My parents owned a 45 rpm copy of Jim's hit "Green Door" and it was one of the most familiar sounds in our house when I was a boy.

    My big brother bought Elvis Presley records and left a stack of them behind for me to play when he joined the Air Force. In the 50s Elvis had great material out the kazoo and many of his singles were monster hit doublesiders. Who could have predicted at the time that The Pelvis would be struggling on the chart by the mid 60s, eclipsed by the Beatles, Merseybeat bands, Motown groups, the Beach Boys and the Monkees?

    One of my favorite TV series of the 50s was Circus Boy starring Mickey Dolenz. That was then, this is now.

    Now to address the main event - the Beauty Contest. "Hi, Beauty Contest... how are you doin'?" Although I am bitterly disappointed not to find Granny C or Miss Jane Hathaway in the running for the title of fairest lass in the land, I can't argue with Scrappy's Pick To Click - Jane Birkin. Jane (the future Mrs. Shady) is quite a looker. She was part of the 60s Swinging London scene and I remember seeing her in Blowup, an art film that I watched at the student union cinema while enrolled at Paterno State.

    This was fun, Chris. Thank you very much for generously inviting me back. It shows a lot of class. (All this time I have been secretly corresponding with Scrappy behind your back.) I wish you guys all the best in 2017. Take care, good buddy!

  2. I forgot to mention that I really enjoyed the M10 debut, the "Bubble Grunge" sound of Charly Bliss. They are refreshingly different and their vid is a hoot!

    1. Glad you enjoyed the visit. I'd have to say, Green Door was one I recognized as from an old dream, but I definitely knew it. Sorry 'bout Granny and Jane, but they never got a picture in the posts! You also have a great year, and watch out for those damn hurricanes!

  3. Ok I have always liked Debbie she was so pretty much prettier then Carrie but that is just my thought.

    1. My thoughts as well.... but didn't want to get mobbed by Star Warsians...

  4. Chris:
    I'll say one thing...the girls from BOTH team Debbie and Team Carrie were a tough call, as were many of those songs.
    Did it just turn out that way, or did you PLAN that? Heh.
    Nice to see Julie London in the mix.
    And Black Joe Lewis is still climbing, even if it is one spot!
    Yeah, it HAS to be ELVIS! the way Scrappy made the picks.
    He IS a good boy.(and the winner is good too, as in nice and easy on the eyes.
    Jane Birkin wasn't "my" 1st choice, but DEFINITELY way ahead of whoever came in third...HA!

    Very good ride, contest, list, and dog-buddy pictures.
    (gotta see the treat gun in operation)

    Keep those hits comin' up there, brother (also,stay safe & warm in the process)

    1. I plan everything, except for the stuff that falls into my lap (see NEXT week's 6D).

      I know your first pick was Agnes. First thing I said to Scrappy after "Good boy" was, "Bob's gonna be mad at you..."

      It would be nice if Scrappy would "see the gun in action". He's like Bart Simpson's dog- only knows the frisbee is for him if it hits him.

    2. I could NEVER be mad at Scrappy...he comes from such a lovable home.
      (you may now all go "AWwww..."


  5. I love Scrappy is the official judge! He deserves an extra treat for all that work.

    1. An EXTRA one??? He got six, PLUS the two that fell out of his treat gun in trying to get the other six out!