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So I got unfriended on FB. Why? Because, one night after reading an excellent article about Melania Trump, how hard she had to work to get where she is, the fact that she made Donald give her HIS number and made him wait a week before ever calling- the next day a friend commented on an idiotic meme (just love that about FB) that painted her as a golddigger. I merely commented "A tasteless meme to start the morning". Of course this led to a typical FB battle between me and this guy who posted it ( and others who agreed with me later on), who seemed to think his meme was "hilarious-and accurate." To which, with the caption, "Well here's a laugh riot", I replied:
My friend- at least someone that I considered a friend- stepped in to defend her friend. I responded, but put most of the effort into the battle with Mr. Judge-first. I first found it amusing that, jousting with me, he excused himself by being upset at her "misogynist, narcissistic" husband, which of course makes it acceptable to lie about the rest of his family. Later, as others pointed out the meme's sheer meanness, he excused himself by saying he didn't have an intrinsic problem with golddiggers, and was just "pointing out the facts." After I introduced Buzz and Woody to the conversation, I turned off notifications and bailed.
However, I PMed my friend, who'd been at her local version of the women's march, and asked how it was that she could go along with attacking another woman on such a shallow basis, and if the solidarity of women only applied to those she agreed with. Among the responses:
"...your judgmental, higher than thou attitude doesn't work for me..."
Closely followed, ironically, by this...
"...I judge the First Lady. She's pathetic and a sorry excuse of a role model...."
Oh, but that wasn't quite good enough. Witness...
"...Your racist views against Muslims really bother me too..."
Oh, would be the racist view that I don't particularly want to be KILLED by one?
So, now, let's count up. In explaining that I thought her and her buddy were judging someone without any facts, and wondering just why it is she would stand up for women- but only certain ones- I was labelled high and mighty, judgmental, racist, and was told I had no respect FOR HER. And yet...
"...But when others' perspectives differ from yours, and you resort to patronizing name-calling and labeling, I have to draw a clear line..."
Yep, and apparently she gets to be on one side of the line, and I get to be on the other.
I am sorry. Many of you know this person, and I don't ask for anyone to take sides here. But the thing I am sorry about is that someone who should have known me better than that, had to do what I expect from the typical FB troll- " patronizing, name-calling and labeling"- and then accused me of doing the same.
You see, this is why the majority of conservatives and the majority of liberals are never going to get along anymore. She gets to judge. She gets to label. And she gets to have her opinion heard, with no chance that the other person might just be right. THIS is not conversation- and THEY are not willing to have one.
I still hold out hope that this is not the way all liberals are. Because I know a select few of you that read this are liberals, and though we disagree, we have never quite come to this. And I appreciate you more than you know, because you show me we don't have to act like fricking idiots to each other.
But she is right about one thing- there is a line. Like I told her buddy (or it might have been her on the post), I will be polite to those who are polite to me. And I never insulted her friend (until I closed with the meme), despite her accusations. But I do have my moments and I'll admit to them.
One of them came right afterwards, when I liked another meme:
Which I could prolly justify a million different ways, but then I would be just like her buddy. I apologize to you all in FB land for hitting the laugh button on this. And I apologize right now to all of you out there like my friend whose politics makes up so much of their self-esteem that they can't see past it to look at how other people feel- because I'm coming for you...
There really is a huge division right now. I almost want to leave FB altogether. I think thats how we survived most elections because social media hasnt been around for all too long. Its too bad that you lost a friend though. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for them. They are the worse for it. But thank you. And I think you are only too right about SM and its effects.
DeleteI'm shocked at how poisonous it has gotten. I was arguing with friends on BOTH sides during the primaries.
DeleteChris:
ReplyDelete---First, and in no particular order, I love the memes.
---And I do agree that FB has it's share of trolls (that's why I won't bother with it AT...ALL!
---I usually give politics all the time it deserves, which is little (most days...lol).
There are those times when you HAVE to say something, JUST to show people some TRUTH.
(however painful and contradictory it might become)
THAT is what life is about, and the sooner more people learn that simple concept, the better off we'll ALL be.
---Next, when we first met (Red Lobster), I had no idea who you or Laurie were, but there comes that time when something we like to call FAITH is involved.
And both Wifey and myself came away better because of that meeting.
I LIKE the honesty and the "take me as I am" aspect. I guess folks like us find each other that way most of the time.
---As for those who unfriend, defriend or otherwise choose ignorance over reason, my late mother had a marvelous saying.
"They'll need YOU before you need THEM."
(but they'll be too prideful to ever admit to it).
---Interesting thing about a "line" that may be drawn...some people refuse to budge, while others extend their hand, with the hope that middle ground can be reached.
You speak your minds, speak the truth, and own up to any wrong. Can't fault that one...damn...bit.
Anyone who can't handle that?
It's on THEM...no one else.
Very good post.
Stay safe up there, brother.
The thing that made me maddest of the whole thing is, if she had bothered to listen or comprehend, we'd been down the Muslim track before. I do NOT understand why people like this cannot look at some real news sites and learn what the world is about. They think unlimited refugee access is the kind, human thing to do. Well, Europe tried that and now there are good people seeking a home freezing to death all over southern Europe, and a-holes raping women and driving buses into crowds all over northern Europe. All because Merkel swung the door wide. But because I am against murder and rape, I am the racist and misogynist. And that made the "or protesters, whatever" so much easier to like.
DeleteI took off that like, and told the story here, because I need to be bigger than that. Bet you it won't be reciprocated.
I've gotten to a point where I might worry if I just "LIKE" something. But, it won't stop me. Neither will I refrain from commenting on someone's post. I just won't start or share a serious post anymore. Not worth it.
DeleteI will be teasing Trump though in the future (for teasing is what I do).
I may have to batten down my hatches.
See, I have no problem with "teasing Trump". Anyone who runs for office has a big red X on their back IMHO, as long as it's not terribly mean spirited. And if some of these libs weren't so fricking nasty, causing me to defend him, I might actually have time to vent my concerns ABOUT him. Like I said on my last rant, all they do is guaranteed him a second term.
DeleteYou're absolutely right. I spend so much time on defense, I don't have time to go on "Snarky Offense."
DeleteThat would be YUUUGGGEEE.
The entire thing makes me sad. One of the reasons I bailed on Facebook at the beginning of the month (and, to a much lesser degree, Blogger), was precisely because of the polarization. But, obviously, I came back to FB because I enjoy being silly. As you know, I also use Twitter because that also gives me "goofy space." I try not to engage with friends who are on opposing sides of the aisle (you know where I stand, though) because I cherish them. But, it's hard.
ReplyDeleteThat's what she said.
Sigh...can't help the silly.
It is. And you know I'm not one to keep it under a lid when it gets too stupid.
DeleteMany of us have been unfriended of Facebook over stupid things, I feel if a friend can't get that we may not agree 100% with them and that is ok we are not them and have our own working brain then let them unfriend me I will survive.
ReplyDeleteMe too, m'dear, me too.
DeleteIt feels like a hundred years ago when I was complaining about all the cat videos and food pictures on social media. Man, oh man, I wish I could have them all back again. Both sides are bananas with their posts and as a political junkie myself, I'm exhausted. I used to love listening to my talk shows, but now, not so much. Our country is so divided and it has been for the last few years...on everything from the police, to what's terrorism, to health care...it feels like no one can agree on anything. Like there's no middle ground to be found. I want the old social media back please! Bring on the puppies and the babies!
ReplyDeleteGosh, do we have to go back THAT far?
DeleteMy life has been so cluttered and getting behind of late that I've had a difficult time keeping up with so many bloggers' posts. Trying to catch up to some now, but I'll probably not get too far.
ReplyDeleteI hear what you're saying here. It's all so absurd and becoming disturbing and scary. I've even been having nightmares about the current socio-political climate. The world must be going insane and the really crazy ones are trying to drag us all into the mire with them and their inanities.
Thankfully, I'm not on Facebook that much and when I go there, I get off pretty fast. But then all the mud comes flying from some other media source. I don't know if there's going to be an end to this anytime soon. Maybe we're heading for a civil war in this country or maybe a massive world war. At least it would be a change.
Arlee Bird
Tossing It Out
I've wondered the same thing, but how do you fight a war when your enemy might be two doors down? I wish the trolls and the thoughtless agendists would get a grip and see what they are doing to this nation.
DeleteThe infiltration of refugees and illegals I think is part of the plot. The war will be in our own neighborhoods.
Delete