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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.


Friday, July 21, 2017

Time Machine co-ordinates VIXII43972168

Damn, Chester...


So here we are in Summer 1968- about 6 weeks away  from that well-behaved Democratic Convention of legend.  It is July 21st, and for the first time in a while we hear those once familiar words- "We had a plane crash today".  This time it was an Aeroflot (Soviet) Antonov AN-2, in bad weather pasting itself against the side of a mountain.  The Soviet report on the crash was kinda interesting;  they blamed first the ignoring of a rule that said,  "bypassing the lightning and storm centers of the clouds at low altitudes in mountain areas and night shall be prohibited. "   Then, the  duty forecaster didn't get updated forecasts before leaving; the dispatcher didn't change the course or contact his manager when HE got news of the weather; and finally, the telegraph operators that didn't get the forecast to the dispatcher who ignored it fast enough.  Oh, and nobody had proper training.

That is obviously a "before" picture.  Both crew and a dozen passengers were killed.

Travelling through the space-time continuum is much safer, though, so buckle in as we run into:  3 new M10 debuts; another new # of Panel contestants record; a supergroup you may have missed out on in the StatPack; a Bond movie that wasn't a Bond movie, and what it has to do with the 6D; and Baby Come Back at #1- no, not THAT Baby Come Back!  Plus more of the top acts of summer in the ME2.0!


We have a lot of contestants to get to, but first, here's the first of this week's debuts on the M10.  You have Laurie to partially thank for this, because I was at flip a coin mode between two songs here at #10, and Laurie decided in favor of Nashville's Amanda Bantug, who records under just the last name.

And since this is NOT a picture of Amanda, let me dig one up for you of the lovely youngster:


So Terry Kirkman of the Association has graciously come in as our POTM to do the list of candidates for this week's vote.  Thanks, Terry!

Sure thing, man.

So this week we had 70 stations- which is actually a drop- but 28 songs on the candidate list, a new record!

28?  Wow, that's a lot...

Yes, so I thought I would help things out for the readers by having you start with all the one-vote songs first, instead of the usual alphabetical.

Say, is this gonna be like, y'know, school?

No, Terry.  Just read the songs on the list I give you.  It's all the one vote tunes.  Then I'll come in and give the others.

Hey!  That's one... two... a LOT of songs!  You want me to read all that?

Is that a problem?

My agent said this was gonna be a two-three minute deal tops.  Anything over and I get paid overtime.  Do you pay overtime?

Ladies and gentlemen, Terry Kirkman!  Thanks for stopping by, and I'll go ahead and read those lists.
Friend and Lover, the band, hit with Reach Out Of The Darkness (y'know, "I think it's so groovy now, people are finally gettin' together") at #12 on this week's Cashbox national chart.
Chicago's The Radiants were bubbling at #109 with Hold On.
The Dells were at #40 with Stay In My Corner.
Three spots below them were the Rascals with People Got To Be Free.

The Cowsills were in the top ten at #8 with Indian Lake.  You'd think with this many songs the top ten would be really banging it, but half the top ten combined for just 3 votes, and two of 'em got shut out totally.
Paul Revere and the Raiders were at #25 with Don't Take It So Hard.
South Africa's one hit wonder Hilary Archibald got a vote for a tune called Sunglasses.
The Animals with one of my faves of theirs at #20, Sky Pilot.
The Ohio Express had Yummy Yummy Yummy at #14.
Gary Lewis and the Playboys were covering Sealed With A Kiss at #50.
Engelbert Humperdinck fell out of the hot 100 last week with Man Without  Love.  I guess that's appropriate.
Also having fallen out back in June was an excellent song by the Bob Seger System, 2+2=?
Steppenwolf's Born To Be Wild was just climbing, down at #88.
Next come two more one-vote songs from the top ten- Merrilee Rush and Angel Of The Morning at #6, and Cliff Nobles and Co. with The Horse at #4.
Vanilla Fudge was also in the just climbing phase with You Keep Me Hanging On at #86.
Status Quo- the owners of the very first M10 #1- were at #24 with Pictures Of Matchstick Men.
Jerry Butler was at #21 with Never Give You Up.
And finally, a band called Fever Tree had peaked back in May with a tune called San Francisco Girls.  Whether he meant real girls or cross dressers I'm not sure.

And that leaves us a few multi vote candidates to actually consider.  But since this took so long, let's go back to the video...


Two songs from which I expect maximum advancement debut in the 7th and 8th slots.  The song at #8 comes to us from Austin, TX's Cotton Mather:


All right, now about those contestants- this time in alphabetical order:

Mason Williams' Classical Gas, which sat at #30;
Hugh Masekela's version of Grazing In The Grass at #5;
The Doors with Hello I Love You at #15;
Donovan's Hurdy Gurdy Man at #9;
The Stones With Jumpin' Jack Flash at the CB top spot;
Gary Puckett and the Union Gap with Lady Willpower at #3;
Cream and Sunshine Of Your Love, falling at #42;
Herb Alpert's This Guy's In Love With You, # 2 this week;
and the Vogues with Turn Around, Look At Me at #17.

Now there was a tight race all around this week, and the top four went 10-9-8-7.  So your bottom line choices go to Mason Williams, the Doors, the Stones, or the Union Gap.  Choose well...


The one book by Ian Fleming that the main creators of the Bond movies didn't have the rights to was Casino Royale.  And the producer that did wanted to do it in association with them, but they refused.  So he decided to make a farce of it- and a farce it became, as dozens of name actors clamored for parts in what they thought would be a legit 007 movie.  Among those who got anything from a starring role to an uncredited hand shot were:  Orson Welles, John Huston (whose young daughter Anjelica got her first film role in the aforementioned hand shot), Deborah Kerr, Charles Boyer, Jacqueline Bisset (in a role first offered to Joan Collins), Peter O'Toole, Dave Prowse (later Darth Vader, this time Frankenstein), Geraldine Chaplin (Charlie's daughter), and Elke Sommer.

In addition, the movie contained no less than seven Bonds- David Niven as the real thing, recently retired; Peter Sellers; Joanna Pettit (as Mata Bond, daughter of James and Mata Hari); Ursula Andress; Daliah Law; Woody Allen (as Bond's nephew); and Terence Cooper.

The real fun on the set came because Sellers wanted to play it straight, raised all sorts of havoc on set, and finally left before it was finished, necessitating some creative screenplay.  Woody Allen was made wait so long for his part, he got mad and flew back to NYC in costume, and decided he would direct himself from now on as a result.  Orson Welles got under Seller's skin so bad that even the scenes they shared had to be filmed separately with body-doubles.  Two stories arose as to the cause, in one, Sellers was miffed that Welles demanded to get to do magic trick in his scenes.  The other involved Princess Margaret visiting the set.  Apparently Sellers made a big to-do of greeting her when she arrived- and she walked right past him to fuss over Welles.  And as the cherry on the cake, retried Formula One racer Stirling Moss had a part.  He was ordered to "follow that car", which he did- on foot.

What does any of this have to do with music?   Well, the song that is this week's 6D victim- The Look Of Love, by Sergio Mendes and Brasil '66- was on the soundtrack!


And now, the next 5 biggest acts of summer!

A 24th place tie between two HOFers leads us off-

...Marvin Gaye...

...and Ray Charles!

Then at #23, we have...

...Elton John (long time since I used the duck picture)!

Number 22...

...Tommy James and the Shondells!

And out of left field at #21, a band that hit early with two big hits in the day....

...Les Baxter and his Orchestra!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And there lies the fun of going that far back....


One more debut, from an lp coming out TODAY- at #7, here is Foster The People...


Stat Pack:  At 101- but not for long, was the latest incarnation of a soul supergroup called Soul Clan, with a song called Soul Meeting.  This group started out with founder Solomon Burke, Otis Redding, Wilson Pickett, Don Covay, and Joe Tex.  Burke's concept was to use the profits to invest in improving inner cities- a great idea, but Burke's dreams were a tad grandiose for Pickett, who left about the same time that Redding was killed.  They were replaced by Arthur (Sweet Soul Music) Conley and Ben E King.

According to Burke, the project fizzled when the power structure realized these guys, requested an advance of $1 million to invest in the Black communities in the South, and wanted to do more than make a record.[8] Although the "Soul Meeting" single made it to #34 on Billboard's soul singles chart in July 1968, Burke alleges "the record was stopped and banned...we were going against the grain of what black entertainers are supposed to do. We were all just supposed to go out and buy red Cadillacs. We weren't supposed to go out and start talking about spending millions of dollars on building and developing... We were supposed to talk about having parties and good times and eatin' barbecue ribs. You know, pork chops."  (wiki)

The 68 at 68 was one of my favorites of the Bubblegum genre, 1910 Fruitgum Company's 1-2-3 Red Light.  It was a top ten hit across the English-speaking world- except in the UK, where they only ever charted with the earlier Simon Says.

Speaking of the UK, their chart was topped by Baby Come Back- by a band called the Equals, who would chart at #32 here in October.  The highest there that was charting here was Yummy X 3, which was 14 here and 5 there; the flip was Jumpin' Jack Flash, #1 here but #9 there.

And, I knew 36 songs on the hot 100 this week.  And just to show off, 4 of the Bubbling unders.


And the remainder of the M10:

Kidsmoke and Northern Faces both see their former #1s slide in their 8th weeks on the chart.  And Mine Alone from 5 to 9; Messin' With Me from 4 to 6.

Alkonost edges up a pair to #5 with Mouth.

Moon Taxi also slips this week, down to #4 with Two High.

Caught In the updraft, Quiet Hollers surges to #3 with Funny Ways.

Public Access TV moves into the runner up slot with Monaco.

And this week, we have our first three-week #1 since Foxygen's Follow The Leader back in February-

...and of course, that's courtship. with Sunroof!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the winner of the menagerie of Panel picks- again-

...the Stones and Jumpin' Jack Flash!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Their ten beat out Lady Willpower with 9, the Doors with 8, and Gas's seven.

(But, don't expect them to foist Charlie Watts off on me NEXT week!)

And that next week will be in 1969... no Bryan Adams required!  Be there!

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Martin World Update

I wasn't planning on posting today, but some curious things have come up that I wanted to share before they get to old or well spread.

First is a story that I KNOW is not funny, but...  In Ohio, a truck driver was killed when a woman in a Kia, who stopped but apparently didn't look both ways, pulled into his path.  It flipped the semi on its side, where it slid for quite aways before being struck again by a brand new Volvo.  The trucker died, the Kia driver in the hospital.  The Volvo guy treated and released, which certainly seems to back up Volvo safety claims.  But the part that would get me another thousand years in Purgatory were I still Catholic is the prospective headline:  "Trucker killed after being hit by Kia and Volvo."

Next came a local story about Coldwater Road and the endless construction snarling it.  At one point in the article, we get treated to this expert analysis:

"With around 27,000 vehicles using Coldwater Road per day, the lane restrictions will cause delays."

We follow that up with cyber-suicide:  A security robot (yes, you read that right) at a suburban WDC Mall went where no robot has gone before...

Down the steps and into the drink, to short itself out.  Shortly thereafter the late K5's manufacturer issued a statement on its behalf:

BREAKING NEWS: "I heard humans can take a dip in the water in this heat, but robots cannot. I am sorry," said K5 in an official statement.

Other wags pointed out that this discovery leads one to believe that Will Smith might have went about I Robot the wrong way.

And since this reminds me so much of one of my ten reasons I should have been the next Doctor Who, I'll bring up a story Bobby G pointed out:

Feminist critic Anita Sarkeesian, who harassed her critics during a recent panel at VidCon, took issue with the Doctor’s newest regeneration. Writing on the official Feminist Frequency account on Twitter, Sarkeesian condemned Doctor Who for being an “overwhelmingly white show” that simply isn’t doing enough to fix the issue of minority representation in the media–as if it is the show’s duty to address social problems.

“It needs to be said that [Doctor Who] is still an OVERWHELMINGLY white show and that issues of representation do not exist in isolation from each other,” she began. “It’s not as if you fix the ‘woman’ problem, THEN fix the ‘race’ problem, THEN the ‘queer/trans’ problem, etc. It all has to happen in tandem.”

Sarkeesian strongly implied that the new Doctor must be intersectional–a transgender woman of color.

As politely as I can, I would suggest that if she thinks this is the right thing to do, and is convinced someone not in a rubber room would want to watch it, perhaps she should do her own show.  She can even star in it, with a little makeup help from Rachel Dolezal and Cai-Bru Jenner.  I hope that doesn't add to the "harassment" she has faced from all the gamers she pissed off because she doesn't like how women are portrayed there-  besides the violence and death and such.

Now let me make one thing clear.  Do I have a problem with a female Doctor?  Not a huge one, though I would have chosen a different one.  In fact, a candidate that went through my mind appeared in the last season finale- a Time Lord whom the Doctor shot (after making sure he had regenerations to spare), who regenerated into a tough black woman who upon making the transition said something along the lines of, "How do they stand all that EGO?!?"   I think she would have made an EXCELLENT Doctor, and I'm willing to give Jodie Whitaker her chance.  HOWever, I am not for the concept of giving every freak, weirdo, pervert, and genuinely confused person with a DNC membership card a shot out of some mistaken ideal of equality.  At a certain point, these people need to say, "I made the choice to be NON-mainstream.  Why am I insisting on diluting that choice by shoehorning myself INTO the mainstream?"  Outside of even the religious objections to such peccadilloes, some people just do not WANT your choice shoved in THEIR faces.

And that is my main objection.  The Doctor as a character doesn't act as he/she does because of an agenda.  He doesn't want to make himself feel normal by turning normal upside down.  As he told the Master, "I do it because... it's KIND."

And that's why this world is in the crap filled, hate divided shape it's in.  Everyone's got their agenda, their banner that they want to stuff up the other guy's nose.  I don't need your flag up my nose, I already have buggers.

Monday, July 17, 2017

Martin World News

Usually MWN indicates a fun, lighthearted post.  But today, stupid has taken on an unfunny, even dark, look.

The first thing I saw on the news today was that a woman who had her gender-reveal party shot up by two guys in masks- wasn't really pregnant.  And police say every step of their investigation has been met with one lie or another.  Next, I saw Dr. Carmen A. Puliafito, the  former dean of USC’s Keck School of Medicine has been living a life of hard drugs, prostitutes and ODs- and one OD, of a young lady in his company just three weeks before he resigned his $1.1 million a year job, blew the lid off of it.  Right next to that, the Mayor of holier than thou Seattle is being called on to resign after the openly gay politician has been exposed as a past (at least) sexual abuser of young boys, including his own foster son.

In the meantime, we also have a police shooting that really boggles the mind.  An Australian woman living in the US was shot by a Minneapolis cop.  She had reported something, the cops arrived in her alleyway to investigate.  She came out in her PJs and leaned in the driver's side window- and the cop in passenger seat apparently shot her THRU THE DOOR.   Not racial- she was white-  not violent- she taught meditation- and not recorded- because the cops for some mysterious reason did NOT have their body cameras on!

And in breaking news, Laurie's bro-in-law just stopped in to do something for us and got an insurance call, which he explained to us.  It seems that while his insurance paid for his colonoscopy at Parkview, they would NOT pay for Parkview's in-house analysis, which is contracted in house.  And you want ME to get one?  Yeah, right.  Not before I e-mail our HR and check on this...

And then you have the 67-year old lady who passed her eye irritation off as "old age", only to find she had 27 disposable contact lenses stuck in her eye- welded together by mucus into bundles of 17 and 10.  And you think I'M getting contacts?  I'm doubting that...

But on the light side, how about this?  Winnie The Pooh has been banned in China....

I TOLD you that going-without-pants thing was going to get you in trouble...
No, actually, it's because a little ol' meme maker has discovered that Pooh looks a lot like Chinese President Xi Jinping.  For example... he is with former President Obama...

...and again with Japanese President Abe.

Xi should actually be happy to be associated with a friendly cartoon creature.  Here in the US, we got Godzilla and Moth-Ra...

Finally, I did discover that I haven't been receiving my former Nigerian money-mails because my inbox was set to delete spam without me seeing it.  Well, I wanna see it, and so I turned it back on, and soon got my money mails back.  In fact, I got a couple of options.  The first was for $10.5 million....

You really have to stop dealing with those people that are contacting you and telling you that your fund is with them, it is not in anyway with them, they are only taking advantage of you and they will dry you up until you have nothing.
The only money I paid after I met Lawyer John Smith was just US$450 for the paper works, take note of that.

So I'm paying $450 to get $10.5 mill on this one.  But on the OTHER one...

I have registered your to Western Union this morning and we agreed up that your sum of $8.5M in Transfer within 24 hours, will take place Tomorrow morning so kindly reconfirm your information,and only fee is $75 dollars,your MTCN: (1566731111)
Mr John Eze

So the second offer I'm getting $133,000 for each dollar spent, rather than just the $23,000 for the other one.  Now if I can just get them to send it in $1 packets....

BREAKING:  Just got a survey with the following question:

Note- a CHILD who suffers from....

Sunday, July 16, 2017

Why I should have been the new Doctor

So I wake up from my nap, and find that the sonic screwdriver that has rested comfortably on my headboard for months is lying somehow on the floor.  Going downstairs, I find that a woman, Jodie Whitaker, is the new Doctor.  While I am not crushed in my male ego, I just wonder what effect on the timelines this will have...

Let's hope it doesn't come to that.  In the meantime, I wonder why I wasn't selected- other than the fact I never auditioned.  Here are ten good reasons I should have been the 13th Doctor:

1- I HAVE a sonic screwdriver

So it's a model year behind.  Like John Hurt said, "Different casing, same programming."

2- I understand Timey-Whimey stuff

I was taught chronal mechanics by Marvel comics.  Totally necessary when debating John Calvin.

3- Scrappy!

Think about it!  Not only is he a great companion, but what if he was the Master's next incarnation?  Get it- the Master being the pet and the Doctor being the... master?

4- I already have a unique, Doctor -ready look:

5- New Location- Fort Wayne, Indiana

Because come on, how many times can you destroy London?

6- Like the Doctor, I have tried to drive with the parking brake on...

7-  Who really thinks fish fingers and custard goes together?  With me, it would be...

8- Unlike every other incarnation, I know the BEST way to beat Daleks...

Tip the damn thing over, roll his guns away from you.  Exterminate THAT, dumbass!

9- A Midol shortage need not endanger the world....

...however, a Pepsi shortage could get a bit dicey...

And Number 10-

...if the lock is wood, I'm not afraid to break a window....

Friday, July 14, 2017

Time machine co-ordinates VIXI43871467

Follow me to July 14th, 1967- the summer before my kindergarten year- as we see the release of Bee Gees 1st, the third lp by the band but first for UK and North American release.  Featuring new hire Vince Melouney on lead guitar- the same position as he had on recent Panel pick Billy Thorpe and the Aztecs- the lp had four songs counted on their greatest hits albums later on:  New York Mining Disaster 1941, which hit #14; that 45's flip, I Can't See Nobody; the #16 Holiday; and the #17 To Love Somebody.  The album went top ten and springboarded their HOF career.

"Long before we started wearing THIS crap..."

And this is one of those odd episodes of Time Machine, in that there are NO M10 debuts- but I have a couple of videos to make up for that; also, the stations on the panel and # of candidates record falls yet again- though the race isn't quite so close; and just for fun, the surprising songwriting career of- Charlie Chaplin?  Plus, how they say Meathead in the UK! All that and more, right this way!


And now, a few words with our POTM, Domingo "Sam" Samudio- once known as Sam the Sham!

What follows is some quotes from various interviews he has done since leaving the music world.

" `Woolly Bully' kicked Beatle butt!" he said. "I was told at the time we had the first certified million-seller recorded by an American during the British Invasion. `Woolly Bully' is a true blessing. The song has enabled me to live an anonymous life when I've chosen to do so, for which I'm very thankful."

"Rock 'n' roll is not for the fainthearted," Samudio said by way of explaining his long absence. "I avoided burning out by walking away. Because I'd try something else, another style, and my record company people would say, `No, Sam, give us another "Woolly Bully." ' I had no choice; I had to leave."

"One night we were docked at Del Carmen when a drunk captain came aboard," he recalled. "He looked at me and said, `Sam the Sham!' I didn't flinch. I asked him why he called me by that name and he told me, `You look just like Sam the Sham, only I know he died with Otis Redding in a plane crash.' I said I'd heard that story, too."

"I ran out of hope, ran out of dope, got to the end of my rope and knew if I didn't change I wasn't gonna make it," he said. "One night on the floor of my Hollywood apartment in the heat I said, 'Lord, let me up. If you just take this desire away, I know I need to change.' And there was no thunder or lightning, just a soft voice in my heart saying, 'I gave you a talent, and look what you've done with it.' "

I am told he is in various ministries now, but when I tried to nail down further info on "samthesham (dot) com, I found- believe it or not- a Japanese porn site.  Wooly Bully indeed...


And next, let's do the #101 song this week.  Why?  Because it's one of the two videos I'm running this week!  With a name more famous, perhaps, than their body of work, and a story of tragedy almost equal to that of Badfinger, here is Moby Grape, with what would become their biggest hit:


And now, the Panel, with 88 stations- and 22 candidates this week!

The "butt-whipped " Beatles with a song still 2 weeks from hitting the Cashbox national chart, All You Need Is Love.

Van Morrison with a bubbling-under (this week, that is), Brown Eyed Girl.

Frankie Valli with the National #1, Can't Take My Eyes Off You.

An all-timer for me, at #88 in its 2nd week, Bobby Vee and Come Back When You Grow Up.

Every Mother's Son was at #7 with Come On Down To My Boat.

Fifth Estate was at 21 on the way down with Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead.

Sonny and Cher with a song that would peak in September, It's The Little Things.

Stevie Wonder was #12 on CB with I Was Made To Love Her.

The Doors were at #11 with Light My Fire.

Music Explosion's A Little Bit Of Soul was at #3.

The Grass Roots were at #5 with Let's Live For Today.

Bettye Swan was at #24 with Make Me Yours.

Davy Jones of the Monkees was solo with My Dad.  The only place I found this released was on the B-side of a Japanese single, Dream Girl, but somehow Edmonton found it.

Scott McKenzie was in San Francisco wearing flowers in his hair to celebrate being at #4 on CB.

The Tremeloes were at #27 with Silence Is Golden.

Janis Ian was at #16 with Society's Child.

The Bar-Kays had Soul-Finger at #29.

A song we will be revisiting soon- Petula Clark's This Is My Song- got a vote despite peaking in April.

Jefferson Airplane was at #14 with White Rabbit.

Procol Harum was at #15 with Whiter Shade Of Pale.

And finally, the Association was at #2 with Windy.

Now, four contenders made it close for a while before one pulled away.  But which one was it?  Your choices are Whiter Shade Of Pale, Windy, Light My Fire, and Can't Take My Eyes Off You- the top two national hits, plus two not in the top ten!  Which will you choose?


Next up, the next five on our list of the Biggest Acts of Summer ME 2.0!

And we start at #30 this week with...

...Simon and Garfunkel!

At number 29- proving that MY bias didn't creep into the list...

... Aretha Franklin!!!!

At #28, and for quite a while early on a top fiver...

...Brenda Lee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next up, a 26th place tie! And the first one, a man who rode just ONE hit into the countdown...

...former POTM Johnny Horton!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And you can't get in better company than the man he's tied with....

...the Chairman of the Board, Frank Sinatra!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next week will lead off with a tie between a pair of HOFers!


So while perusing this week's UK chart, I happened upon one of the cooler stories I have shared on TM!  At #3 was the Monkees with a tune called "Alternate Title".  Now, I KNEW that meant the original title got banned somehow, so I did some digging.  The original song title- which the record company thought might be too risque for the UK- was Randy Scouse Git, which Mickey Dolenz says is English for "Horny Liverpudlian Jerk."  He had copped the phrase from an English sitcom wherein a conservative head of family often faces off with a "socialist layabout" son-in-law.  Sound familiar?  Well how about if I tell you that that show was Till Death Do Us Part- which Norman Lear turned into All In The Family!  And what Mickey cribbed as "Randy scouse git", Archie Bunker turned into "Meathead"!  And here is that tune- Randy Scouse Git AKA Alternate Title:


So, here's the remains of the Stat Pack this week-

The UK #1 is Whiter Shade Of Pale, which is #15 here.

And the #67 in '67 is Give Me Time by Dusty Springfield, which was the flip side of her bigger hit The Look Of Love.


Our 6D victim this week is the #6 Don't Sleep In The Subway by Petula Clark.  This was off her lp These Are My Songs, an oddly ill-named title since there were such a plethora of famous names on the writing credits list.  Felix Cavaliere of the Rascals was one, as she covered Groovin'.  Another was John Phillips of the Mamas and the Papas, along with Francis Lai- who would go on to score the movie Love Story- and Michel Legrand, uncle of Victoria Legrand of Beach House.  But the most surprising name I saw was Charlie Chaplin-

-yep, THAT Charlie Chaplin!  Not surprisingly, he did the music end of things (with some help from other composers as he never learned to write music) and not the lyrics.  But his comps hit the top 40 no less than three times:

Eternally, which Vic Damone took to #12 in 1953;

Smile, which Nat King Cole took to #10 in 1954;

And the song that we mentioned in the panel picks the single released by Petula before Subway, This Is My Song, which she took to #3 in 1967.

Oddly enough, Clark- who was Chaplin's neighbor in Switzerland- was second choice to a dead man for the honor.  Chaplin wrote it for Al Jolson, and Chaplin refused (allegedly) to believe he had died long before until someone sent him a picture of Al's tombstone.


And the sluggishly moving M10:

Beth Ditto returns to #10 after a week at 9 with In And Out.

Springtime Carnivore is moving down in threes, landing this week at #9 with Midnight Room.

Amber Mark slips a notch to #8 with Can You Hear Me.

Alkonost was the big mover this week, going from #10 to 7 with Mouth.

Quiet Hollers was up 2 to #6 with Funny Ways.

And the top five remain the same- And Mine Alone, Messin' With Me, Monaco, Two High, and the two-week #1:

courtship. with Sunroof!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the winner of this week's Panel vote...

...the Association with Windy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The band gathered 22.7 percent of the vote, beating Frankie Valli's 13.6.

Next week, 1968!  It'll be a riot!

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Bad news and true views

All we hear is depressing news anymore.  The city council figures if I can afford rent raises, gas tax increases, and get screwed on raises because humans get sick occasionally (guess what? I can't), then they can dig their fingers 1.3% farther into my pie.  Republicans are making deals with the Russians  and Democrats are serving up secrets on unprotected servers TO Russia.  The number of cities wanting to protect illegal immigrants are climbing almost as fast as crimes committed by them.  Even the very depressing search for a meme like the one above just continues to point out what a hellish mess we are making of this world, where racial hatred, woman abuse, and religious bigotry are okay unless practiced in America, and climate change can only be caused by American coal, but not Chinese coal.  Whine whine bitch bitch etc etc ad infinitum.

I have something- well two things- to say about all that.  And they both come from things in the excellent book I just finished- Iron Curtain: The Crushing Of Eastern Europe 1944-1956 by Anne Applebaum, whom I just learned (germane to my tale) she is married to former Polish Foreign Minister RadosÅ‚aw Sikorski.  I'm going to pull two things out of this book for you to think on.

First, from page 414:

"Organized protest was relatively uncommon but it was not unknown, and young people sometimes paid a high price to join it.In 1950, twenty-year-old Edeltraude Eckert was arrested for distributing pro-democracy leaflets.  She received a 25-year prison sentence, which became a death sentence after an accident in an East German prison factory turned into an infection that killed her.  From her cell, and then from her hospital bed, she sent hopeful, optimistic notes home.  "The world is so beautiful, you just have to believe in it,"she wrote to her mother, a few months before her death."   Emphasis mine)

This is what we have to hang onto, that somewhere past all the stupid crap we mess up, there is a pure, unspoiled, undefeated creation that proves that God loves us.  Some people are in spots that require harder squinting to see it than others, but it is there for the seeing.

The second piece is in the notes, page 479:

" A few years ago, my husband received a letter from a German, born in the Baltic region, whose family had been given what is now are Polish country house to inhabit during the war (note: her husband's family, the true owners, were removed during the Nazi occupation).  Enclosed was a photograph of his smiling German parents, dressed in jodhpurs as if about to go riding, sitting on the front steps of our house, which is situated in what is now central Poland.  He remembered the property being very run-down, and noted that his father had worked hard to put it back in working order.  He hoped his family was remembered positively by people living in the area.  In truth, they are not remembered at all."

And that is the gall of the evil heart, wanting to be remembered well because they had improved a home that their government stole from its rightful occupants, and likely caused the damage in the taking.  Two wrongs, no matter how well intentioned, do not make a right.  And the lives of people are more important than any physical legacy you can leave.

I imagine this is the principle behind Satan's "creativity" in this world.  A hard focus on what I did, what I accomplished, what is MY legacy.  The theme permeates the book- our ideology is right, being ideologically correct is all that matters, and why is it that nobody seems to like what we are offering?

While good hearts focus on God's mercy, His grace, the beauty of His love.  A soul that believes this can never really be crushed.  Which is why Marx had to remove religion and God from his vision.  And yet, despite this example, we are being overrun by people that want to eradicate God as "completely" as Marx and Lenin and Stalin did.  You can't sell on the basis of your good conscience, you can't pray where anyone can see or hear you, you can't want people to better themselves without being a bigot, and you must NEVER do anything that might save an innocent from Judgment.

Marx, Lenin, and Stalin are gone, and faith endures.  Nero, Julian the Apostate, and Christopher Hitchens are gone, and faith endures.   Nietzsche is gone, and God lives on.  And in a few moments, I believe I shall go out and see the world.

Monday, July 10, 2017

God did something today...

So I got something I want to share- but can't exactly share.  But I can share the important parts.  Here, check out the latest deer pic while I get to it.

Today, God urged me to do something I wouldn't normally do.  Something I would normally wait for someone else to do, and then jump on the bandwagon.  But I did it- starting a very small ball in motion.  It was a good thing, but God asked for more.

A little later, another opportunity arose, and I made one of those promises, the kind you know Satan will try to talk you out of later.  If You do this, God, I'll do that.

Guess what?  God did that.

Which gave me about two hours or so of time to hear all the reasons I shouldn't do my end, that I should part do it, some of it.  What if it's taken wrong, what if people get mad, and so on.

Anxiety really sucks.

But when the moment came, that "peace of God that passes all understanding" hit like a warm wave.
I did my part.  All of it.

And later, I found just what a timing God had in my doing.  Awesome, wonderful timing.

If you don't believe in God's providence, you should have been me today.  Not because of how well I did one thing, but how well He did everything.

Martin World News 'n' stuff

BREAKING NEWS:  Isaiah Martin and Scrappy Beagle to star in new movie!  Watch the trailer...

Breaking, hell. That was shot Friday...

ITEM:  I had, as a former Catholic, to wonder at this story- "Vatican bans gluten free communion bread"-

Bread used to celebrate the Eucharist during Roman Catholic Mass must not be gluten-free - although it may be made from genetically modified organisms, the Vatican has ruled.
In a letter to bishops, Cardinal Robert Sarah said the bread can be low-gluten.
But he said there must be enough protein in the wheat to make it without additives.
The new rules are needed because the bread is now sold in supermarkets and on the internet, the cardinal said.
Roman Catholics believe bread and wine served at the Eucharist are converted into the body and blood of Christ through a process known as transubstantiation.
Glossary of Roman Catholic terms
The wine used must also be "natural, from the fruit of the grape, pure and incorrupt, not mixed with other substances", said Cardinal Robert Sarah of the Vatican's Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacraments.
The ruling was issued at the request of Pope Francis, the letter said.

So if you believe in Transubstantiation the physical conversion on some level of the bread to the Body of Christ- what part of Christ are you taking out with the gluten?  Not trying to be crude here (for a change), but if you truly believe the Host is changed, does it really make a difference if you make it allergen-free?  I would get it if it were a purity issue, but if you are allowing GMOs, haven't you kinda crossed that bridge?

ITEM:  Now returning to an expected level of crudity, we find this story on the BBC:

Norway 'troll penis' restored to its former upstanding glory

In a headline that supplies its own innuendo, a famous rock formation called "the Troll's Penis" was given a bad case of ED by a vandal.  So, a crowd-funding effort raised the equivalent of $27,000 to give it a dose of viagra.

Before and after the act
ITEM:  From the "stuff we might not need" file:

Ghana has successfully launched its first satellite into space.

For those of you going, "WTH is a Ghana?":

Ghana is not alone in being a podunk country that has had some help getting a piece of metal future trash put into orbit.  At this point, nations such as Azerbaijan, Bulgaria, Ecuador, Estonia, Iraq (!), Iran, Laos, Peru, Turkmenistan (in conjunction with, of all places, Monaco), and Uruguay also have a satellite in space- and that's just the guys that have only ONE.  Now, most of these have to go somewhere else to launch them- China, Europe (from a base in French Guiana, South America), Iran, Israel, Italy (from a base in Virginia, no less), both Koreas, India, Japan, and Russia.  Ghana got a lift to the ISS by the Japanese who basically pushed it out a window and let it go.  Nevertheless, does a nation ranking 144th in per capita income (they make on average in a year what I make in a month) REALLY need to be a SJCN (Space Junk Contributing Nation)?

ITEM:  Trending on Twitter this morning was "#RuinSexIn3Words".  Skipping the hopelessly crude, there were some clever responses:

IM YOUR FATHER (with appropriate Star Wars gif)
 I'm a Feminist
Call me Donald
I am Groot
put on Nickleback
Hillary Rodham Clinton
Think Rachel Maddow
 'Honey, I'm home!'
Can we talk (actually submitted BY a woman)
 two bean burritos

ITEM:  And now, a closing flash round of somewhat more serious topics:

1- The latest G20 fluff up involves- what're the odds?- a goof up on a White House Press Release:

A press release following Donald Trump's meeting with Chinese President Xi Jinping at the G20 summit called him president "of the Republic of China".
That is the official name of Taiwan. Mr Xi is, in fact, President of the People's Republic of China.

A gaffe, which while common on local media, certainly would elicit a response along the lines of, "Well, flunked the Carnegie course, didya?" from the Chinese.

2- Next, courtesy the Japan Times:

 Bhutan, one of the world’s smallest nations, has protested that the Asian colossus, China, is chipping away at its territory by building a strategic highway near the Tibet-India-Bhutan trijunction in the Himalayas. Bhutan has security arrangements with India, and the construction has triggered a tense standoff between Chinese and Indian troops at the trijunction, with the Chinese state media warning of the possibility of war.

This reminds me that I wanted to do a post on some of the odder hot spots around the world of late.  For example, Italian and Austrian troops are meeting near the Tyrol border over Austria not wanting any more refugees coming from Italia; or, Eritrea getting uncomfortably close to their border with Djibouti (yes, that's a real country, about 2/3 the size of Indiana) after Qatar, who recently became the Pan-Arab Terrorist Scapegoat, pulled their peacekeepers out in a huff.  But the best website I found to track such things down couldn't tell the difference between a budding war between nations, a terrorist attack, or a handful of Seattle layabouts protesting over why they can't find jobs after passing the $15 an hour minimum wage.

3-  When did the USA and Russia get so mixed up?  From the Moscow Times:

Attention has focused on a video uploaded to YouTube in August, in which the 22-year-old (Ruslan) Sokolovsky filmed himself playing the Pokemon Go virtual reality game on his iPhone in the Church of All Saints in Yekaterinburg. The church was built on the spot where Tsar Nicholas II and his family were believed to have been killed by the Bolsheviks.

In a short speech at the beginning of the video, the 22-year-old Sokolovsky dismisses media reports that playing Pokemon Go in churches could result in a prison sentence.

“This is complete nonsense,” Sokolovsky says in the video, right before entering the church. “Who could get offended if you’re just walking around with your smartphone in a church?”

But several weeks later, on Sept. 2, Sokolovsky was detained on charges of extremism and insulting the feelings of believers.

Prosecutors claim to have found “elements of incitement of hatred” in nine videos uploaded by Sokolovsky to YouTube and his so-called "atheist" video blog, between May 2013 and September 2016.

He has been slapped with nine instances of inciting hatred and seven instances of breaching the right to freedom of religion. A separate charge of using special equipment to illegally obtain information was added to the list after police found a ballpoint pen with a hidden camera during a search of his home.

Now, let me frame this properly.  Russia HAS been strong in defending slights to the Orthodox Church- just ask the Jehovah's Witnesses (now considered a terrorist organization).  And this dude was purposely playing a dare, is a place of worship.  But it still boils down to he's in jail for playing Pokemon Go in a church.

But Ruslan is right- people are getting enraged over stupid stuff.  In the serious news Sunday morning, I found a kid who got in trouble at his cookie shop for paying for an on-duty officer's brownie- when the next family (obviously black) demanded he should buy them a cookie and he's a racist, etc.  And you wonder why BLM has ZERO credibility!  Or, conversely, the family in Florida who reported a driver with road rage issues who pointed a gun at them- and when pulled over, he was an Episcopal PRIEST from North Carolina!

Gang, I realize this is a highly charged, highly divided world we live in.  But sometimes you just have to LET. IT. GO.  Ask CNN.  Because they couldn't just laugh at a gif of questionable humor- no, they had to get all bent about it, and actually threaten the gif maker- NOW they have thousands of similar gifs out there, most of them even funnier than the original, and they look even less credible, if that was even possible.  It's not worth it, guys and gals.

Friday, July 7, 2017

Time Machine co-ordinates VIX4377766

Today we roll into July 7th, 1966, and Jack Kent Cooke breaks ground at what would become the LA Forum.

Cooke, who won a bidding war to become hockey's Face of LA, would eventually own the Lakers and Kings.  The building would host 6 Lakers NBA championships, one Kings NHL final, 3 championships in World Team Tennis, 16 Led Zep shows, 4 Elvis shows, 3 by the Stones, 2 from the Jackson Five, and two of the last shows by Cream on their farewell tour, before being de-commissioned and at one point becoming a church....

And welcome to this week's Time Machine where we get:  the tightest 4-song race the Panel has ever seen; a debut on the M10 I've been dying for a chance to import from Russia;  a 6D that brings in Captain Jack Harkness, John Barrowman; the act with the most Bubbling Under hits without EVER making the Hot 100; a list of songs with some very questionable names; and the answer to last week's cliffhanger- who wore the shades?

So dig in and enjoy, as we kick things off with a debut on the M10 I've been hoping for for some time.  I discovered these guys doing some research on "folk metal".  When we first met, they were a power Goth set with an operatic female lead singer who did dueling vocals with a screamo male counterpart.  They eventually got a big contract, did some Euro tours- and while most of their older stuff is a bit too WILD for the M10, this tune from 2016 is a little more pop and well within the listening standards of mainstream humanity.  From Russia with love, here is... Alkonost!


This week, the Panel was a 78-station mob with 17 candidates put forth!  And it was a tight race between 4 songs- with one at 20.5% of the vote, TWO with 19.2, and one with 14.1%!  And hear to introduce the list- I hope- from our POTMs this week, the Rolling Stones, drummer Charlie Watts!

Yes, yes, of course, it's me.  Whenever there is a hashed up job to do, they say, '" 'ave Charlie do it!"  Because they are too busy being so ...

Um, yeah... I understand.  But some people would consider it an honor...


Well, Wayne Newton...

Fine.  Get him.

Okay!  Here we go with the 17 candidates for this week's time machine POTM!  Am I on the list?

No, Wayne, sorry...

Oh, well, maybe next time.  Anyway, here are your choices...

The Hollies were 2 weeks away from debuting on the charts here with Bus Stop.
Tommy James and the Shondells are at the top with Hanky Panky- which IS one of the Big Four this week.
One of the foreign charts on the Panel, from the UK, had the Mamas and the Papas with the tune I Call Your Name, never released here.  That Mama Cass...


Yes, sorry.  The Platters were on the way down at #39 with I Love You 1,000 Times.
Another of the big four is Sam the Sham and the Pharoahs with Li'l Red Riding Hood, sitting at #14 this week.
The Mamas and the Papas are back again with Monday Monday... but it peaked last month.  Boy, that M...


Sorry.  The POTMs, the Rolling Stones, are at #6 with Paint It, Black.
The Beatles are the third of the big four with Paperback Writer, the #2 on Cashbox.
This next group was a favorite of our former encyclopedic commenter Shady- the Magnificent Men, with a local hit called Peace Of Mind.
Crispian St Peters was at #12 with The Pied Piper.
At number three this week- but not one of the big four- were the Cyrkle with Red Rubber Ball.
Ike and Tina Turner, who peaked at #88 on BB and bubbled under on CB with River Deep-Mountain Wide.
Bobby Moore and the Rhythm Aces were at #76 on their debut week with a tune that would go top ten R&B, Searching For My Love.
The Happenings were also new to the chart, at #88 with See You In September.
Frank Sinatra was at #4 with Strangers In The Night.  
Tommy Roe was at #25 with Sweet Pea.

And finally, the last of the big four this week, the Troggs and Wild Thing, which was at #7.

So, there you have it- was the winner the Troggs, Sam The Sham, the Beatles, or Tommy and the Shondells?  Take your best guess, and learn at the end of the post.

Hey, Chris, can I do something else?
I don't think so, Wayne.  But thanks for coming.
Do you think Mama Cass might be backstage?
Wayne, for pity's sake!  Sure, go look.  Whatever.


When last we met, we had a cliffhanger on the Greatest Acts of the Summer- who would be the final act in the 35th place tie?  Well, let's check out the next five on the list, starting with, in that spot...

Roy Orbison!  Hence the glasses, dudes...

At 34th one of our contestants this week-

...the Platters!

Next, one of a handful of acts- mainly from the early end of the era- who got in on just one song-

...Miss Gogi Grant!  She earned all those points from The Wayward Wind.

At #32, with a mix of serious and novelty hits- heavy on the novelty-

...Ray Stevens!  And the last stop for this week, the #31 act of Summer...

...the Doors!  Next week, no cliffhanger, but we will have another one-song wonder.


Wow, this is a packed show!  Next up, our 2nd debut at #8, the guys who gave you the apocalyptic hit from last year, Mont Blanc- here are Quiet Hollers...


I had to laugh at the titles of some of the tunes on the charts this week.  Here's a sampling...

Susan Christie's I Love Onions;
The aforementioned Ray Stevens (what a surprise) with Freddie Feelgood (and his Funky Little 5-Piece Band);
A name as unusual as the title, the Clefs of Lavender Hill with Stop! Buy A Ticket;
At #70, Johnny Cash's Everybody Loves A Nut, followed 7 spots downwind by Leroy Pullins'  singing I'm A Nut...
And Roger Miller's sound advice, You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd.


Rick Christian is a songwriter who you may never of heard of, but he wrote the big Kenny Rogers #1, I Don't Need You.  That was on the lp Share Your Love, which Lionel Ritchie produced- and was SUPPOSED to write all the songs for, but they decided they'd pick other songs both men could agree on.  One of those was the Marty Panzer tune Through The Years, one of my best KR songs.  Panzer was known for many hits he wrote for Barry Manilow, including It's A Miracle.  He also penned a song called 24 Hours A Day on the lp Barry, which contained the hit I Made It Through The Rain, written by Kenny (I Like Dreamin') Nolan and Maurice (Earth Wind and Fire) White.  This song was the single from a cover lp called Music Music Music, released in 2008 by Doctor Who alum John Barrowman.  And another song he covered there was at #5 this week without any Panel Love- You Don't Have To Say You Love Me by Dusty Springfield!


Stat Pack:  UK #1 was the Kinks and Sunny Afternoon, with Paperback Writer sitting at #2 on BOTH charts.  Our #66 in 66 was the previously mentioned I Love Onions by Susan Christie-

-and at #101 was the song Race With The Wind by the Robbs.  The house band for ABC's Where The Action Is, they hold a record under both the Robbs' moniker and subsequently as Cherokee, for having no less than 6 charted singles without EVER hitting the hot 100- 103, 123, 131, 114, 106, and 116 on Billboard.  I had thought Steve Alaimo had this record, but though he had 11 sub-100s on CB (5 on Billboard), he did manage to cross into the double digits a few times.


The remaining M10:

Beth Ditto goes up one to #9 with In And Out.

Amber Mark as well, to #7 with Can You Hear Me.

Springtime Carnivore drops from 3 to 6 with Midnight Room; Kidsmoke drops a notch to 5 with And Mine Alone; and last week's #1, Northern Faces' Messin' With Me, tumbles to #4.

Monaco moves 3 to #3 for Public Access TV.

Moon Taxi Is kinda looking like the song title Two High is prophetic, as they hold at #2 for a second week.

And the new #1, up from 5-

courtship. with Sunroof!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the winner of the Panel?  Well, the Beatles got the 14.1, the Shondells and the Troggs had the 19.2s, so that means the winner is-

...Sam The Sham and the Pharoahs with Li'l Red Riding Hood!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next stop, 1967!  Kindergarten, Dad's new Impala, and more music!  Be there!