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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.


Monday, July 3, 2017

Martin Science News

So I follow a news aggregator called News 360.  You teach it what you want with like/dislikes, can get it to add sites you want to hear from, and it segregates by topic.  So I wondered what would happen if I got on the "science category" tonight (Sunday) and looked in the interests of fun at what might pop up.

First up, we have an article about how often you should wash your sheets.  Seriously, I know that most people wash their sheets far more often than me, the original "anything can be removed with a fart" here.  To put things in their proper perspective, science estimates that a typical American sweats 26 gallons worth of perspiration into their bed per year.  That works out to 9 ounces A NIGHT, and I have to think somebody is really skewing that number.

And so, thanks to Fat Bastard there, we are recommended to change sheets once a week.

Our next story tells us that a woman who wants to get pregnant should look for a younger lover.  Extensive study shows that women in the 35-40 year old range had a 54% success rate with men their old age and older, but 74% with men younger than themselves.  Younger men's sperm "seemed to invigorate" the women's eggs.  All very interesting, but the thing that caught my eye was in the title of the article.  Because, instead of saying that women needed to look for "boy-toy" partners, the headline (from London's Telegraph, no surprise) consistently referred to "toyboys".

A tip for Brit writers from the States:


Next up was a very informative article that began with this:

The article was basically "how to be calm under pressure" by a bomb expert.  And he gave three big rules that can apply anywhere- if you stretch it a bit.

Step one he calls "Avoid the rabbit hole".  The rabbit hole is seeing the problem and panicking rather than assessing the problem calmly.

You need to avoid going down the “rabbit hole” and do what Navy EOD techs call a “threat assessment.” That means looking objectively at the situation and asking, “What kind of problem is this?”

Obviously from his vantage point we are dealing with a REEELIE BEEEG problem.  But you can apply it to, say, you're making Junior a PBJ and you are out of J.

Next step, as the old song tells us, is accentuate the positive.  Or, as the article explained:

Our EOD’s superior officer once told him a story about trying to defuse a mine while underwater — and realizing that he had become trapped, unable to move his hands or feet. What was the next thought that went through the chief’s head?
“I’m still breathing, so that’s good. Now what else do I have that’s going for me?”

Now, that situation would typically activate the "I'm so screwed" response unless you're MacGyver.  But going back to our PBJ, you have to keep in mind what Junior doesn't know won't hurt him.  Remember that jell-o you made for him last night?  With a thick layer or two of PB, it could double as J.

The final step is, recognize the next step and focus just on that.  As the article said,

Maybe what’s next is just a baby step. That’ll do. Maybe you are so out of your depth that the next step is “ask for help.” That’s actually a good one. You don’t need to fix everything in one fell swoop. You just need to know your next step and you can keep it together.

So you send Junior out of the room for "a recipe book".  You spread the jell-o on the sandwich.  Doesn't spread well?  Send Junior to Mrs Filberts for the book, smash the jell-o on a plate, dump it on the PB.  And when Junior returns, tell him you figured it out.  If Junior says the sandwich tastes funny, study the recipe book and nod a lot.

Next up, a new study suggests chocolate can slow memory decline.  In their study:

... both healthy older adults and elderly adults with signs of neurodegenerative diseases like dementia or Alzheimer's saw cognitive improvement, especially with memory, after drinking flavanol-rich cocoa drinks over a period of eight weeks. Not only that, but the subjects' blood pressure and insulin levels improved as well.

I can testify right now that NORMAL chocolate doesn't do diddly for memory loss, and my A1C levels dispute the insulin and my Benicars poo-poo the blood pressure angles.  I need to find some "enhanced flavanol" candy bars.  And quick, before I forget to get some flavanol-rich candy bars.

Next, are you an Obama fan wedded to the concept of alternative energy?  Well, this one's for you:

Solar panels create 300 times more toxic waste per unit of electricity generated than nuclear power plants, according to a Thursday report from the pro-nuclear group Environmental Progress (EP).

The report found that solar panels use heavy metals, including lead, chromium and cadmium, which can harm the environment. The hazards of nuclear waste are well known and can be planned for, but very little has been done to mitigate solar waste issues.

So, solar panels are waste-producing and wind farms can't survive without heavy subsidization.  Luckily, environmentally minded energy engineers have another alternative lined up...

I have to run HOW fast for HOW long??? Screw you and your lights, I'm just gonna drop dead now...

This next one, all I really need is the headline:

Artificial intelligence may soon replace our artists as well

And in Fort Wayne, the sooner the better...

Finally, another article- whose story I rejected on the basis of I didn't want to toot my horn about where my tithe goes- brought up for me the question of blowing of scientific money on some very stupid stuff.  But here's an article that proves my theory:

When future interstellar space travelers become weary of looking out their spaceship windows at the wondrous but unchanging cosmos that surround them, it would be nice if they could queue up their Netflix subscription to help pass the time. And now, thanks to new technology envisioned by independent astrophysicist Michael Hippke, that might be possible.

Hippke has devised a way to deliver an interstellar internet connection as far away as our nearest star neighbor, Alpha Centauri, reports New Scientist. And the technology to make it possible is already available to us.

And considering that we can't even get a man to Mars yet- about 183,000 times closer than AC- I can see where this would be a necessary expenditure.


  1. That Mars thing?
    That ain't no crop circle.
    Well played, NASA, well played.

    1. You should see all the memes that say, "Went to Mars/ Drew a dick". I wanted to, but opted for being tasteful.

  2. Chris:
    ---Oh, so now you're stepping on the toes of Bill Nye and Neil DeGrasse Tyson, huh?
    GOOD FOR YOU (keep doing it)
    ---You pulling that "segregation" card too...naughty boy.
    ---So does the sheet thing "even out" if you turn 'em back and air 'em out every morning (until you retire)?
    I think there's a trade-off waiting to be found.
    ---Invigorated sperm? Give 'em a dose of 5 hour energy drink and toss in some red bull.
    Yeah, big difference between a BOY TOY and a TOY BOY. There IS always G.I. Joe, though...
    ---Bomb expert...right up with WILD ANIMAL WRANGLER, huh? the PBJ thing. I'd just tell junior "How about some HERSHEY SYRUP instead of jelly?"
    Betcha we get a BIG grin there.
    The threat assessment is a good tactic to use. Panic solves little, except to send the old blood pressure into orbit.
    ---And speaking of timely that following article was for junior...
    (betcha he REMEMBERS that, too).
    ---That's a delicate balancing act with blood sugars and chocolate ingestion.
    ---Yeah, the thing they NEVER tell you about "alternative energy"'s a BAD alternative.
    ---I will agree with A.I replacing artists in Fort Wayne, considering that "thing" (sculpture?) the guy ran into (and actually improved it) last year...heh.
    I'd really like to see A.I. replace POLITICIANS, as long as it was programmed with THE TRUTH (and a better sense of morality).
    ---On the last story, I will say that IF future space travelers wish to watch anything...they'll have ALL those signals to intercept from the 50s, 60s, 70s and so on...try that (probably cheaper and no monthly subscription rates).
    Worth a shot.

    Very good report.

    Stay safe (and "sciencey") up there, brother.

    1. Why not step on their toes, I slander them every chance I get! In fact, I almost did a NDT meme, but it was late...

      Now, that hershey syrup idea is spot on- but as a PB non-aficionado, I would never dream of wasting good chocolate on it.

      Glad to see I'm not the only one feeling that way about FTW artistry- at least the kind the city displays...

  3. I'm not so concerned about sweating 9 ounces a night. No, I'm more concerned with the statistic that says the average person swallows 87 spiders a night.

    That can't be healthy.

    BTW, my entire house is powered by hamsters. It smells terrible, and pellets are everywhere, but the efficiency is incredible.

    1. Now, are you able to convert the pellets to energy as well? I bet something can be done with the April-fresh used litter, too...