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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.

SOCK IT TO ME BABY!!!

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Sorta Newspage Go!



I don't know that this is especially the funny fare you are used to with a post like this, but I have a few headlines to get off my chest.  They're making me itch like scabs that have spent too much time on me, so now I pass them unto you.


HEADLINE:  Court victory for Trump White House in fight over CFPB boss

I thought CFPB was the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, so this one threw me a small loop.  Apparently it was part of the treasonous legislation known as Dodd-Frank, and has become another liberal bureaucracy running around like a chicken sans head.  Barney Frank provide again backing for the aphorism, the evil that men do live on forever, whilst the good is interred with them.


HEADLINE:  Trump humiliates Pelosi, Schumer with empty seats at meeting they boycotted



Pelosi says they didn't show up because, "the big meany said on Twitter that we'd never vote for tax reform."  Well, guess what?  We ALL know you won't vote for anything that doesn't come out of your own bankrupt heads.  If the GOP passed a law that said that Jesus was coming back with a million bucks for each American, you'd vote against it as a party block, claiming that Jesus doesn't represent the poor, discriminated-against denizens of Hell.  Act like children, get treated as such.  And BTW, NONE of you get any originality points.  Maybe Pelosi et al should have came in and took a knee.  Oh, wait...


HEADLINE:  CNN calls for scrapping phrase made famous by President Trump

And of course, that phrase is "fake news".  This has to fit into the "self-fulfilling prophecy" category somehow...


HEADLINE: 'Sopranos' actor reveals he's undocumented in order to shine a light on the benefits of DACA

And hopefully shined a light for INS to send yer ass back to ... where, Oh, yes, Ivory Coast.  Give my best to the International Bank Distribution of Settlements folks down there for me.






HEADLINE: Argentine woman used garden scissors to cut man's penis off, reports say


Again, no points for originality.  So this was either a response to sexual assault (she says) or a sex game gone wrong (he says).  Um, two words here:  SAFE WORD.


HEADLINE:  'White Racism' course at Florida university teaches that America is 'white supremacist society'


But of course, academia has NOTHING to do with the hate and division we have in society right now.  Dr Ted Thornhill of FGCU, claims “Too many Americans, especially whites, are cocooned in a ‘bubble of unreality’ as it concerns racial matters” ...  Listen, Doc, I work in a mixed plant with Blacks, Hispanics, Laotians, Burmese, and Thais, and we have NO (zero) problems.  Why is it inside the ivory towers you see what we don't?


HEADLINE:  Chicago woman dies days after found with head stuck in fence

Yep, 64-year old woman found with her head, apparently accidentally, stuck in a fence.  Geez, did you never watch Leave It To Beaver?


Yeah, nice job, ya little goon.  Now you got old ladies doing it!
HEADLINE: Viagra can be sold over the counter

Good news, Bobby G !  No more spam Viagra ads in your inbox!  Oh, wait, UK only...


HEADLINE: Radioactive playing cards found in Berlin


A new way to find the town's "hot game", I guess.  They were traced down to a club that isn't authorized for gambling, but that's a helluva step to take to prevent it...


And finally, from the "You Can't Make It Up" stack...


HEADLINE: Massive meatball accident closes Swedish road


From the BBC report: Swedish meatballs are always a welcome sight on the dinner table, but less so when 20 tonnes of them block the road in front of you.





Apparently the truck hit an ice patch, and while the truck itself said upright, the trailer slid into a ditch and had to be unloaded to get back on the road.  Various comments asked if a truck of spaghetti was to follow.

4 comments:

  1. Chris:
    ---Didn't know about the PBS capo deal.
    ---LOVED the Pelosi-Schumer "smackdown".
    That was great.
    Like your addendum to the story.
    Take a knee...LOL.
    (maybe to their heads...a lot)
    ---fake news DOES equal a self-fulfilling prophecy.
    ---Garden shears? Hope to God they were SHARP.(nothing worse than a crappy cut)
    ---Didn't hear that particular white racism story (there are a lot in the fake news bin...lol)
    ---Head stuck in a fence? I thought that was SO "fifties".
    ---I just get the DATING spams...remember? (lol)
    ---radioactive cards - hot game...you're on a roll tonight. I'd say it was totally RAD!
    ---HA...or a truck of ROLLS and a barrel of sauce!

    That capped my day, buddy.
    Leave 'em laughin'.

    Stay safe (and humorous) up there, brother.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Oh, good heavens, that's right. darn it, I know SOMEONE I know was getting the boner-upper ads, just can't remember who...

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  2. Ok most of these had me thinking what the hell and if you are going to stick your head in between fence poles have your mobile with you so you can call for help when you get stuck

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    Replies
    1. I'm wondering if she thought PNC screwed her over at some point and wanted to leave them a suicide surprise...

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