Martin World News

ITEM:  These two women have something in common.  Meet...

Miranda Johns

 ..and Hannah Marie Haynes...

  And what, pray tell, do they have in common.  Well, to paraphrase the Bible, they have "Given up the use of men..." but not the way you think.  First came Miranda, who called the cops on a man for assault.  The man denied it, and then produced a video that showed Ms Johns having oral sex with two pet dogs, and explained that she was interested in having a menage-a-canis with the group- and suggested they could get a bigger dog for the purpose.


Hannah, however, went in a different direction.  She spent her "night of passion" with a dachshund- and also videotaped it, and sent it to a little more intelligent friend, who contacted the police.  Giving a new meaning to "doggie-style", I guess.


ITEM:  Possibly the best MWN story of the political season came when a Bernie Sanders rally in Portland OR had a very special guest speaker:




And there you have it- Bernie is officially for the birds.


ITEM:  Our good friends in Tadzhikistan have come through again...


President Emomali Rahmon's proposal was made at a Nowruz (new year) celebration in the capital Dushanbe, and would create formal holidays for the country's traditional new year activities, US-funded Radio Ozodi reports. If the idea becomes a reality, 22 March will be declared the "day of wrestlers" in Tajikistan, and the following two days will be celebrated as the "day of horse riders" and "day of flowers and planting" respectively, the Asia-Plus news website says.
According to Asia-Plus, a national wrestling tournament is being held in Dushanbe on 22 March this year, with a car being offered to the winner. Prizes for New Year horse races on 23 March include thoroughbred Tajik horses, but the capital's green-fingered citizens won't get huge prizes - they'll be getting public events on gardening instead.
This isn't the first time that Mr Rahmon has been involved in an unusual project. In October last year, he opened the National Tea House, a 43m (141ft) high building in the shape of a melon which can seat 2,000 people.

Because tea and melons go together like...

ITEM:  Meanwhile in China, the concepts of when to shower and when to eat got crossed up...


Runners in a marathon were left with a bad taste in their mouths when they mistook free bars of soap for energy bars in an incident that's been put down to the language barrier.
Some 20,000 runners at the Qingyuan marathon in south China's Guangdong province received a gift pack shortly after they crossed the finishing line, the People's Daily newspaper reports. Hoping to bite into what they thought was an energy bar, athletes instead got a mouthful of what turned out to be fruit-perfumed moisturising soap. Witnesses report many bars of soap, all with one bite missing, dumped at the roadside, and the problem appears to come from the fact that the soap packaging was written in English, which many runners did not understand, the paper's Chinese-language report noted.
The organisers of last Sunday's race were quick to apologise. "The packs of soap were indeed like food packaging. It is a negligent mistake on our part," an official told Yangtse Evening Post. There was also some concern over the level of injuries at the event, with 12,200 runners needing medical treatment or assistance during and after the race. It's not clear how many were the result of the soap incident.

Chinese social media users piled in to mock those who had taken a bite out of their "energy bars". One Weibo user urged the organisers to contact the Guinness Book of Records: "More than 10,000 people together eat soap. China is a land full of wonders". Another asked: "Why give them a bar of soap, to take a shower at the halfway point?" 


Chinese marathoners sure must cuss a lot...


ITEM:  Why do I often mention the wrath of the Broccoli Gods?


U.S. Customs and Border Protection said a shipment of fresh broccoli was seized in Texas when officers discovered it was hiding a different form of greenery -- 766 pounds of marijuana. The agency said officers with the Office of Field Operations at the Pharr International Bridge cargo facility inspected a semi truck hauling a shipment of fresh broccoli from Mexico Tuesday and discovered 661 packages of marijuana -- a total 766 pounds -- hidden among the vegetables.

The Broccoli Gods- they rule from on high.

ITEM: I just accidentally deleted the next story and can't find it!  So I must close today's report with my favorite story of the week...


ITEM:  Remember the story I did a few weeks back about the UK's Tesco store doing replacements when they were out of what the customer ordered online- replacements that don't do a good job of replacing?  Well, wait'll you get a load of the Easter "surprise" two little boys got:

That's right- instead of getting two bags of Cadbury eggs, 12 year old twins Matthew and James Bayley got ONE Chicken and BROCCOLI salad:

As you can see, they were far from thrilled...


A Tesco spokesperson said: “We’re investigating what led to this unusual substitution.”


Well, here in America we have an acronym, GIGO.... Tesco might want to look that up.

more walk pictures

Nice day for a boat trip Saturday

 Here we had just caught a glimpse of Mrs. Fox on the far side of the Duck Pond.

Chop out 20 trees from a formerly shady trail and then lay stone down.   Way to improve things, IPFW!

First turtle of the spring- and he was a big'un!

These little guys are called "Harbingers-of-Spring"

Fooled me, thought he was a cardinal from a distance.  Just a local parish robin.

"Anybody in there?"

These red jobbies are called Scarlet Elf Cups.

That night the kids and I went out.  I won three straight games of pool (and then promptly sank two 8-balls).  KC lost 2 games taking just three shots- a scratch off the break and an 8-ball of his own shortly thereafter.

Spring Beautys

Scrappy being a duck

"Very nice.  I want a print for the family album."

Scrappy's first ground hog of the year- so stunned he waited until I said, "Get 'im!" to even move.

"Yup.  A clean getaway!"

There.  That's a Cardinal.

 

That reminds me.  I think it was last Monday we were serenaded by a cardinal, just a singing away- until he stopped dead in mid-song when Mrs. Cardinal showed up and perched beside him.  2 secs later, he split.  Trouble in paradise?

Sunday message- which side of the cross

That was the title of a Tony Evans sermon I STARTED to listen to (before being interrupted by what we will call "early morning considerations").    What I did catch got me to considering the question while I was missing another chunk of it.

Consider that while one Gospel tells the story of one man's conversion- one of the thieves hanging beside Jesus- another says they both joined in the jeering of the crowd.  Biblical inconsistency? No, Biblical "making you think".

Consider:  One thief joined in the jeering- initially.  But as the long, horrible hours passed, he watched the reactions of Jesus.  What He did- and did not do.  His heart turned within him; he questioned, he prayed, and soon became convinced.  Enough so that he finally had to speak out for Jesus, and petitioned for salvation.  As Tony Evans said- without benefit of baptism, purgatory, or works of his own.  At the end of his life, he came to Jesus and was saved.

On the other side, that thief came to Jesus as well.  But with challenge- if you are the Christ, PROVE IT.  Take me from my circumstance, save me on the physical plane, THEN I'll believe you.

Consider:  Was it laughing chance that put these two men beside Jesus at their deaths?  Of course not.  They are stark examples of fallen man and the choice before him.  Of what Jesus offers- salvation in the NEXT life, not this one- and the manner in which to come to the right path.

Even at His death, Jesus saved.  Even at HIS death, the thief found salvation.  A salvation that required nothing but faith and repentance.   Was it the best way to do it, waiting until the end was near?  I'm betting that thief would say no, I wish I'd have done it before it came to this, but nonetheless valid.

Consider the other criminal.  He, too, waited till the end to come to Jesus.  But by that time, he wasn't watching Jesus' gentle example and repenting; he was hearing the crowd and echoing them.  He never once thought about the next life, or what Jesus was truly about, he just wanted relief from the suffering of this life.  Jesus did NOT answer him.

Now, consider yourself.  You can wait to come to Jesus.  He'll be there at the end, just like He's there now.  But remember this- will you be watching His example by then- or just echoing the crowd?

Walk pictures

The bluebirds are in a lot more places this year...

First day of spring flowers over at Papermill- none yet in our complex

Except some of the snow bushes are blooming

Never realized how well Scrappy is camouflaged...

Peek-a-boo!

South canal- leading cause of drowning for tennis balls, apparently

This is what our "friends" at Integrity Tree Service wrought- a peek-in from the side to the swamp

We had a skrat following us all the way down south canal

But would Scrappy notice? Nooooo.....

There were three of these littleguys at the elbow on California Road.  As soon as they saw us, they went under.... and STAYED there.  Stood there for three or four minutes and never saw them again.  Internet tells me they are pie-billed grebes.

Hey!  The daffs on north canal are in bloom!

Along with these tiny little guys... I think Rue Anemone.