More and more lately, I find myself longing to speak out, only to have wisdom from outside make me reconsider what I want to say. I could write a book on my inner debates yesterday between apology and debate; I could pen a novella on my FB excursions today. In the end, I would just be a voice in a cacophony of similar voices, all making some kind of point. Unfortunately, voices do not have ears. Voices don't have hearts to turn, nor minds to change. And in the end, voices are just the background radiation of the universe, droning on while stars are born and stars die.
This is the Crab Nebula. A thousand years and change ago (by our time), it was a star. Man has only known it like this, except for the two seasons that the Chinese watched its explosive, dying moments. This is the after of someone's before. And it's all we know about it.
The voices in my analogy droned on when it was a newborn star; and still drones on 7,500 years after its death. The voices talking now have been talking for months; they'll still be talking a year from now when whoever wins the election is long since ensconced in power. And it doesn't really matter what I say, what position I hold. EXCEPT TO ME.
But what I DO, that may be a different story. See, the thing about that background radiation is, according to theory, at least the "accepted theory" on how the universe began, that microwave whisper should be uniform- but it isn't. There are clumps here, silent spots there.
So, say everyone has a voice. Spread uniformly across the spectrum, it just blends in, it becomes uniform. But a silence? Ah, THERE is the power to bring change, to have a ripple effect. But not a void silence; no, that would quickly be filled, because nature abhors a vacuum. But a PURPOSEFUL silence, that cannot be overwhelmed, cannot be filled in.
I have a voice. Some of its uses today I stand by, others I regret. I apologize if I have muddled in the after of anyone's before. At least in this spot today, I shall be silence. And maybe, just maybe, through what some might call a void, I can let some light shine through.
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Chris:
ReplyDeleteYou and I think a LOT alike in such matters (scary stuff, eh?).
I call it the "I have no mouth and I must scream" syndrome (thanks to Harlan Ellison).
That voice in the wilderness seems too often lost in the madding crowds, for there is little real "wilderness" to speak of (if we COULD speak about it, that is...lol).
The analogy with the universe makes perfect sense.
People, in order to HEAR and LISTEN to what is important, have got to stop following whatever is the most sensational and look both inward and above to find truth and reason.
(but what do I know, right? heh)
Very good and thought-provoking post.
Stay safe up there, brother.
True dat...
DeleteI have a voice but trust me something is trying to silent that voice, so my internal voice often doesn't make it out my mouth at times I am sure someone is trying to gag me because they don't want to hear what I have to say, hell when I write stuff I still get told to shut up and say nothing
ReplyDeleteI know... part of what sparked this post.
DeleteEverybody's yakking, but nobody has anything to say.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds profound, but, then again, I drank a lot this weekend.
This, I take it, will be your excuse until at least Holliween...
DeleteI'm not sure if you intended to be profound and poetic, my friend, but you sure were. I love this, and the Crab Nebula. <-I wanted to type "nutella" but I restrained myself.
ReplyDelete"Crab nutella?"
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