Time Machine week 75

Today we lurch into May 27th, 1979.  John O'Connor was just consecrated a Cardinal;  Rick Mears wins his first Indy 500, while DW took the checker at Charlotte; and Orlando's Tangerine Bowl was host to Rock Super Bowl VI ( a semi-annual event), featuring Boston, the Doobies, AC/DC, and Poco.

"Pass me the milk!  I gotta make a plane to Orlando!"

Yes, it's Time Machine, stranded back in that WON-derful year of 1979, and this week we have:  The replacement of the UK ten for a week by something that really sucks; One M10 record tied, two more go down; How we get from Elton John to the Village People without being politically incorrect; and a tight 2-way race for the Panel #1!  Gentlemen and ladies, let me start the engine!



Our Panel this week is WBBQ Augusta, WCVS Springfield IL, WDRC Hartford, WEGP Presque Isle ME, their neighbors at WGUY Bangor, WYSL Buffalo, WKAP Allentown, WAVZ New Haven, WHB Kansas City, CHUM Toronto, KFRC San Francisco, and KTKT Tucson.  They managed 15 different songs in the first 4 stations, but only 8 the rest of the way.  They included Styx's Renegade, which was #1 in Bangor, and the Bee Gees' Love You Inside Out, which was on top in Allentown.  Our lowest charter this week was a song we will be discussing in a bit- Anita Ward's Ring My Bell, which was at #59 on the Cashbox national chart this week;  however, a song that dropped off the chart this week Roxanne by the Police, was still #5 in Buffalo.  Better late than never, I suppose.

And the Panel picks?

At #4, with no #1s and 11 points, another song we will discuss further in a bit, Randy Vanwarmer's Just When I Needed You Most, the national #8.

At #3, with the top dog from Buffalo and 18 points, the national #10, Supertramp with The Logical Song.

At #2, with 5 #1s (Springfield, Hartford, Kansas City, Toronto, and P.I.) and 35 points, the national #1, Peaches and Herb's Reunited.

And at the top with the other 4 #1s and 40 points, the national #2... in a bit.


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This week's M10 was a cause for consternation.  Wednesday at work, I wrote down a ten that had a new #1, three debuts, and it lasted for about 6 minutes.  I modified it to two debuts before I got home, went back and forth on the #1, and finally ended up with two debuts- and one of those was NOT one of that original three!  Here it is at #9:





M83 is a dance band, and as such usually has guests to do vocals or various other things.  The lady singing, for example, is a French mademoiselle named Mai Lan (which, I am told, is pronounced "mesh lane").  Also on the record is guitarist Steve Vai, ranked the 11th best guitarist in the world.  He was asked to contribute something appropriately "space-y", sent the band three demos, and they combined two of them in the final song.  Vai might be most famous for being David Lee Roth's guitarist on his solo lps.

Before Shady can ask, Mai Lan is entered...

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One of the things that caught my ear as I researched this particular section of 1979 was the fact that this was a time when, to me, music really sucked.  I mean, REALLY sucked.  I remember doing a early version of my M10 back in the day, right around this time frame in which I could only find FOUR songs I liked- Our Lips Are Sealed and We Got The Beat by the Go Gos, and Dust In The Wind and Point Of Know Return by Kansas.  So I decided to look down the list, and I came up with this week's top I SUCK songs that were charting on Cashbox.  This is not to say that there were NO songs I liked this week, and there were some underrated, underplayed gems out there, like the Beach Boys' Good Timing and Tycoon's Such A Woman, and others that would come to later prominence as the band's fandom grew, like Journey's Just The Same Way.  But there were tunes that made me wish I could just beat my transistor to death, and here are the bottom-feeder ten, with where they charted this week:


10- You Can't Change That, Raydio, #50 on Cashbox.  Now this song doesn't TRULY suck; but frankly, I never much cared for anything Ray Parker Jr did outside of Ghostbusters.  He had a tremendous talent and a great voice, and wasted it on crap like Jack And Jill and The Other Woman.

9- Dancing Fool, Frank Zappa, #45.  Now I realize Frank was likely trying to poke fun at disco with this awful song, but I never did get the fascination with him anyhow.

8- Shakedown Cruise, Jay Ferguson, #42.  This would be a fine song with better lyrics.  Or even modified lyrics.  One of the worst lines I have ever heard is in this song- "The captain says, you boys want some sex?  You can squeeze the sails, you can lick the deck."  He'd have been better served shoehorning that line in to Lou Reed's just as disgusting Walk On The Wild Side.

7- Take Me Home, Cher, #26.  For once I think I would have rather listened to Sonny.  The only thing worse than the song than the costume she was in on the lp:

6- He's The Greatest Dancer, Sister Sledge, #41.  Lame lyrics and a clunky chorus.  We Are Family much the same, just not as clunky.

5- Ring My Bell, Anita Ward, #59.  Now we get into the meat of the suckage.  This was one of two songs that our local station played as if they only had two discs and a rackful of ads.  And the other, you ask?

4- Knock On Wood, Aimee Stewart, #14.  I tried knocking on wood.  And metal, plastic, human flesh, whatever was available.  Nothing helped.

3- Get Used To It, Roger Voudouris, #25.  The single biggest (but not only) thing that annoyed me about this song was towards the ending, when he starts singing, "You better get used to... oh, my love.  PLEASE..."  NOW he says, please?  I realize you throw stuff in at the end that sounds stupid just to fill time, but this might be the worst example to me of how NOT to do it.  Second place: the end of Styx's Mr Roboto, where Dennis DeYoung mewls, "I want to thank you... PLEASE, thank you..."  Do any of these idiots know how to properly use the word please in a song?

And now, the two songs that I had no choice but to rank 1A and 1 B...

1B- Just When I Needed You Most, Randy Vanwarmer, #8.  For a very brief moment I kind of liked this song.  Until the whiny just drove me nuts.

1A- You Take My Breath Away, Rex Smith.  I offered her money TO take his breath away, but got no response.


Ahhh.  Cleansing rant done, I feel so much better.  On with the show.

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I had to laugh when I saw who was going to be the six degrees victim this week.  But more on that later.  Did you know Elton John was the piano player on the Hollies' big hit He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother?  I found that out during my last minute, hurried because I forgot again 6D research.  That song was co-wrote by Bob Russell, who was dying of leukemia at the time.  He also wrote the English lyrics to a song I know has been around the Time Machine before, the Ritchie Family's Brazil.  Now, the original tune was composed in 1939 by Ay Barroso, before the creation of composer producer team Jacques Morali and Henry Belolo hit with it many decades later.  Belolo and Morali also have another, more dubious reference on their resume- they created the Village People, whose hit In The Navy was at #4 this week but got no panel love.


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And now, the M10!

Much as I hated to do it, somebody had to move down, and Charles Bradley was elected.  He slips from his peak at #5 to 10 this week with Changes.

You heard #9; at #8 is the other debut, straight from Eurovision, I give you the Australian champ, Korean-Aussie Dami Im:





Among other things, I learned that Dami's last lp was a disc of Carpenters covers- and she did a damn fine job!

Number seven is a three notch riser for the Jayhawks, Lovers Of The Sun.

And at number six is the song that screwed the three-debut plan.  I found I couldn't drop it; I couldn't even BUDGE it.  The Jayhawks and Quiet Corners are now the longest lived song in M10 history, holding at 6 in their 10th week.

Ruth B does the electric slide this week; she slides down a notch to 5 with 2 Poor Kids, and one to #4 with Superficial Love.

The Justad sisters and Tangerine shoot from 9 to 3 with You'll Always Be Lonely.  See, Bob?  I told you "up" and "big".

Or at least in a coma, as Telekinesis drops one spot with Lean On Me at #2.

So a new #1 on the M10 ties a record for five straight weeks with a different #1... and the one that does it sets a mark for the longest road to get there!  The number ones, please?

M10 says:

...Emi Knight and the Strawberry Runners with When We Were Good, at the top in its SEVENTH week on the M10!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the Panel pick?

...Donna Summer and Hot Stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Well, we won't have to do a suck chart next week, because we'll be going to...1971!  Well, maybe Shady will have a suck chart for us, but that's close to my own wheelhouse.  So tune in, and we'll see what grows where Rosemary goes!

Perusing the news

First on my perusal list is the statement made a couple of days ago by Veterans Affairs Secretary Robert McDonald comparing waits for help from the VA to lines at Disneyland.  So my question is, how does even President Obama find someone who is such a loser that he compares a line for a vacation treat that you could ALWAYS get out of if you get bored to something someone REALLY needs and has NO option but to wait?  One thing I will give Donald Trump:

Donald J. Trump 

✔‎@realDonaldTrump

Obama’s VA Secretary just said we shouldn't measure
wait times. Hillary says VA problems are not ‘widespread.’ I will take care of
our vets!

1:15 PM - 23 May 2016

I hope he CRUCIFIES them both on this issue.  To me, there is nothing more abhorrent this government does than the way Vets are treated.


Next up, amusing headline:

Drew Peterson wanted to deal drugs after leaving prison, recordings show


Of course, not too many lines of work hiring two-time wife killers, I guess.

Next, I found this interesting exchange on BBC:

Australia's deputy PM Barnaby Joyce said that he is "pulling strings" in Johnny Depp's head after the actor called him an "inbred tomato".

Depp made the tomato comments to talk-show host Jimmy Kimmel.
It comes after Depp and wife Amber Heard were forced to issue an unusual video apology after she illegally brought two dogs into Australia.
Ms Heard avoided a conviction after appearing in an Australian court last month.
Depp told Kimmel the "inbred tomato" comment was not a criticism, but said without explaining further that he was afraid the politician might "explode".
Asked whether he had watched the video apology - which was later mocked by Mr Joyce - Depp said "no, because I didn't want to kill myself".

Mr Joyce responded to the actor's comments by saying: "I'm turning into Johnny Depp's Hannibal Lecter".
"I'm inside his head, I'm pulling little strings, pulling little levers," Mr Joyce told the BBC through a spokesman.
"Long after I'd forgotten about Mr Depp he's remembering me.
"The Australian people know we did the right thing."


So things are so hunky-dory in Australia that the Deputy PM can afford to compare himself to Hannibal Lecter, eh?  I am just curious if that last statement is true.  And the Donald looks even a little better...



Perhaps Mr. Joyce might want to make a good-will trip to Nigeria, where a "tomato emergency" has been declared.  No lie, a leaf borer has destroyed 80% of their crop.  A humanitarian sacrifice might help.


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But perhaps what we need here is a little perspective.  What is the biggest news story right now?

On CNN, it was a story on the climbers recently killed on Everest.

On MSNBC, it was the DOJ announcement it was seeking the death penalty for the nutjob that shot up the church in Charleston.

On the BBC, the top trend was was Microsoft trying to get away with an "install" button that looked like an "x-out" button.

On Xinhua it was the blasts that killed 74 in Syria.

The Moscow Times most trending was the announcement by Russian President Medvedev that there was no money in their version of Social Security.

BUT...

In Japan, on the Japan Times, the biggest news was " the secret joy of being a Japanese woman" (which, according to the article, is housework...)

The story heavily quotes from a book titled (I kid you not) Japanese Women Don’t Get Old or Fat by Naomi Moriyama.


Also, AlJazeera's lead trend is a story on how young Chinese professional women (no, not THAT profession) are having to "rent" boyfriends in their late 20s to avoid the stigma of being a "leftover woman".

In the Times Of India, the lead story you would accuse me of making up if I didn't do a quick copy-and-paste:

JAISALMER: Left in the heat with its legs tied all day, a camel attacked its owner and severed his head in anger in Rajasthan's Barmer district on Saturday. About 25 villagers struggled for 6 hours to calm the animal down.

Late reports suggest the murderous animal has been purchased by the local chapter of Daesh.


The Daily Mirror led with a video of a group whose tent (in which they were) was being licked clean of dew by three lions in South Africa.

Walks with Scrappy

It's picture post time, with some story woven in.

First stop:  Friday....

Here is evidence that Scrappy is losing his touch.  Notice him absently sniffing the grass.  But if you look at the pile of parking lot bumpers behind him...

You'll notice four little ground hoglets looking out at us and the rest of the world.  All told, Scrappy had a total of 8 ground hogs that should have been within his sense of smell pass harmlessly by him, including three of them after I let him off his leash and shouted, "Go get 'em!"  He looked at me and then turned to run- not where they went but to the nearest den he knew about.  I showed him where they had run TO the den, and he joyfully tracked them backwards to where they HAD been.  Not a good day for up.

Squirrel, not bear

One shot from a late Saturday afternoon jaunt...

And then today (AKA Sunday morning)...

Columbines at the woods' north entrance

Good morning, Big Guy!

Scrappy getting his mojo back, moments after pursuing a chipmunk.  That'a boy, start small.

Biggest Jack I've seen

Scrappy peels off at the bridge for a beach trip

And then up into the usual dead end.

"I said, I'm not going back there!"

The black object in the grass above was a tragedy- a young goose who had apparently hit a wire above and crashed.  He was on his back, weakly flapping his feet.  Nothing we could do...

The barn swallows (above) were everywhere.  Got buzzed pretty good a couple of times.

Finally getting Mr Limpy to take a break

But I had to promise him a walk over the old bridge to the barn to get him to agree.

Time Machine week 74

Today we arrive just four days after my birthday, May 20th 1962.  Now I type these things on Thursday night, and every once in a while, I search for the Thursday date by accident, as I did this time.  But I am NOT changing it, because the thing that happened last night gives me something I always wanted.  Because last night, JFK had a song sang to him- "Happy Birthday, Mr. President...."

...and because of that, Marilyn Monroe is at last entered in the Time Machine Beauty Contest next January!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Welcome to this week's Time Machine, where this week we find a new top story on the M10- if you were 1,2,or 3, you aren't in the top 3 this week!  Plus did the Jayhawks break the point record on the M10- and tie the weeks record?  Who is Dave Ball? How many songs the panel voted for NEVER charted?  What the heck does J.A.J stand for?  And what the heck is a nut rocker?  All this and more, coming your way!


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The Panel bring you this week's mayhem consists of:  WWIN Baltimore; KTRM Beaumont, TX; KYO Seattle; KLMS Lincoln, NE; WDRC Hartford; WABB Mobile; KRLA Los Angeles; KWK St Louis; WABC New York; KYA San Fran; WHK Cleveland; and WBKW Buffalo.  They rolled us up a whopping 35 different songs- which has to be one of the highest totals ever!  That total gave us no less than three songs that never charted nationally- and we'll get to them in a bit.  It also gave us 7 #1 songs, including the Shirelles' Soldier Boy (Lincoln and NYC), David Rose's The Stripper (LA), and Connie Francis' Why'd You Wanna Make Me Cry (Cleveland), as well as one of those songs that never charted nationally.  The lowest song that actually charted this week goes to Tony Bennett, who had just entered at #123 with I Left My Heart In San Francisco.  And our top 4:

Without a #1 vote and 11 points, Jimmy Soul and Twistin' Matilda, which sat at #22 on Cashbox.

Also with 11 points BUT with a #1 from Baltimore, Gene Pitney's The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence, the national #34.

With the number ones of Beaumont, Mobile, St Louis, and Buffalo- which accounts for all twenty of his points and thus a second place finish- Ray Charles and I Can't Stop Loving You, the national #9.

Boy, the panel sure seemed to be allergic to the national tops!  Although the national number one IS the panel pick as well, with 24 points and the remaining couple of #1s.  But the rest of the top ten, save #s 1 and 9?  Well, they got only thirty-four points between 'em, and that's only because Soldier Boy (#2 nationally) got the 2 #1s.  The rest combined would have only tied the Panel's top pick.

And that song?  C'mon, you know you gotta wait...

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Next up, a little game I call, How many of the songs in the top 150 on the week he was born does Chris REALLY know?  And the answer is, only counting songs I actually know and can whistle a significant bit minimum- 18.  And I thought I'd filter them in a bit at a time.  Here goes:

#131- Johnny Get Angry, Joannie Sommers
#123 - I left My Heart In SF- Tony Bennett
#122- Roses Are Red- Bobby Vinton
#100- Al Di La- Emilio Pericoli
and #83- Moon River- Henry Mancini.

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Next up, our first M10 debut this week goes to the Jayhawks, with their second hit off Paging Mr. Proust:







Lovers Of The Sun places #10 this week.

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So what about those songs on the Panel Picks that were only regional hits?  Well, the biggest one was by a gent named Shelton Dunaway.  He was better (relative term) known as Cookie of Cookie and his Cupcakes, who actually grazed the hot 100 once.  His solo hit was called Just One Kiss, and Beaumont had him at #2.  This was  a nice bit of swamp-pop- doo wop.

Beaumont also supplied us with another regional hit.  And once again it was some swamp pop, this time from one Jerry (Count) Jackson,  Real name Jerry Lacroix, he was better known (again, relative) for being the lead vocal on an outfit called the Boogie Kings.  Later on, he would appear on a Blood Sweat and Tears lp (1974's Mirror Image.)  The tune is called The Band Doll, and I kinda dug it.

Third and final was the #1 out of Seattle, an instrumental by the Dynamics called J.A.J.  And what was JAJ?  Apparently it came from the writer, one Dave Lewis.  In his band, he had a bass player named Jerry Witten, whom they called, "Jive-ass Jerry."  And that is what JAJ stands for.


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How about some more of the hits I actually knew from back then?

#58- David Rose and The Stripper, naturally.
#53 Twistin' The Night Away, Sam Cooke on the way down.
#43- Young World, Ricky Nelson
And then two of my all timers back to back:
#35- It Keeps Right On A-Hurtin', Johnny Tillotson, and
#34- The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, Gene Pitney.

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And now, since he has nothing better to do, some words from Sir Paul McCartney:

I don't take me seriously. If we get some giggles, I don't mind. 

Well, you'll fit right in here!  So pull up a chair, and let's...

10- This tune had already hit #1 in the States back in March- Bruce Channel's Hey Baby.

9- Jimmy Justice (if your real name was Jimmy Little, you might think about a stage name, too) peaked only at #127 with this tune, When My Little Girl Is Smiling.

8- Del Shannon just peeked in the top 40 last year with this one, called Hey Little Girl.

7- When Terry Nelhams-Wright decided he wanted another name, he picked a much cooler on than Mr. Little did- Adam Faith.  Adam was at #7 with a did-not-chart here, As You Like It.

6- Ketty Lester was on the way back down in the states, at #31 after a top ten showing for Love Letters.

5- A non-issue over here for Brenda Lee, Speak To Me Pretty.

4- Of course, we're not complete without Cliff Richard and the Shadows, this time with the double sider Do You Want To Dance/I'm Looking Out The Window.

3- And, of course, that means the Shadows have to have a solo too.  Their hit, Wonderful Land, was at #143 over here this week.

2- Elvis' Good Luck Charm, #11 in the States, was the runner-up in the UK.

And, tops of the tops this week?





And now you know what a Nut Rocker is.  It was at #65 and falling here this week after making the mid 20's.


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Here's some more of the songs I actually knew:

#33 Palisades Park, Freddy Cannon
#13 PT 109, Jimmy Dean
#12 Shout (Knock Yourself Out), Ernie Maresca
and #9, I Can't Stop Loving You, Ray Charles.

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The tune Conquistador was released off the live lp Live With The Edmonton Symphony Orchestra by Procol Harum.  On that live single the guitarist was Dave Ball, but the original recording, off their 1967 debut, hard rocker Robin Trower was the guitarist.  Trower was a albums-only arena rocker in the 70s and 80s, and one member of his band was bassist James Dewar.  Dewar was the only notable name on a band called the Luvvers- with the exception of their lead singer, Lulu.  Lulu had a hit in '64 with the Luvvers, a#7 cover of a song that the Isley Brothers did more famously (and originally) in 1959- the song which sat at #15 this week but got no Panel love by Joey Dee and the Starlighters- Shout pt.I.



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And the last four I knew?

#7 Lovers Who Wander, Dion
#5 Johnny Angel, Shelly Fabres
#4 She Cried, Jay and the Americans,
and #2, Soldier Boy.

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And now, the M10!

You heard number ten, now have a listen to #9 Seattle sisters Mariko and Miro Justad and their band Tangerine:







Number eight was going to be a fall-off this week, but it changed my mind at the last second, and Carroll's Bad water hangs on, slipping a notch to #8.

With such a big turnover at the top, somebody had to fall- and three former #1s are in the next four songs!  Dropping 4 to #7 is one of them- Redspencer's Ride It Out.

Quiet Corners  by the Jayhawks also falls 4 - but at #6, it becomes the M10's all time biggest hit, and the record for most weeks on the chart is theirs if they can hang on next week too.


Charles Bradley fights his way upstream one more notch to #5 with Changes.

Actually, the Queen- Ruth B slides down to #4 with 2 Poor kids.  But don't panic- she climbs 6 spots to #3 with Superficial Love!

This song always surprises me- 8,7,back to 8, up to 5, holds at 5- and now, jumps three into the runner up spot- Strawberry Runners and When We Were Good.

And the #1s?

M10 says-

... Michael Benjamin Lerner and Telekinesis with Lean On Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And at the top of the Panel?

...Mr. Acker Bilk and Stranger On The Shore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


And that's a wrap from the wonderful year of 1962!  Tune in next week when Marilyn and I... er, when we travel to...1979!  And, we see if the Jayhawks can shatter the 9-week barrier!