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What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.


Monday, June 6, 2016

Superman vs lazy writers

The last time I did a rant on comic books, Superman had declared he was no longer a US citizen.  Because that's what liberal-minded extremist writers do.  But just wait until you hear the latest.

Ever since Marvel broke up the Spider-man/Mary Jane marriage "because it's too hard to write a marriage into a superhero comic", It has amazed me how many no-talent writers try to blame their inability to write compelling stories on the limitations of the character.  He's too old fashioned (so captain America loses his mojo and passes the mantle onto his conveniently Black best friend).  He has too much back story (so pop out Wolverine, pop in a young female "wolverine").  We can't create a new female/ethnic/gay character (so now, Thor's a woman, Spider-Man's hispanic, Iceman's been gay all these years).

If anything, it's worse at DC.  Let's look at what has happened there in relation to this rant.  Years and years ago, it was, "we have too much backstory, too many "alternate versions", too many Golden agers that have to be in their 90's by now."  So along comes Crisis on Infinite earths.  Just destroy everything, bring it back into one earth, get rid of the ones you don't want, and shoehorn everybody else in.  Actually it made sense, but one thing that they did that pissed the comic world off was they killed off Barry Allen, the Flash.  Gave the title to Wally West, the Kid Flash, and he did a damn fine job- until having him get married and have twins made it too hard too write for.  And what's up with Superman marrying Lois Lane?  OMG, how do I write a believable female lead?

So then they come up with the "brilliant idea" called the New 52.  Basically, Barry Allen's Flash returns from some speed limbo, but his return causes reality to collapse in on itself.  Suddenly a bunch of people nobody wanted to write anymore disappeared, the Golden Age Green Lantern  goes from being an older man with a wife and kids to a young gay man, and Superman and Lois were NEVER married, Ma and Pa Kent are out of the picture...

...and Superman gets to be an asshole ( see Batman Vs Superman movie), and also date Wonder Woman.

The only problem with all these lazy man revisions is that a LOT of fans don't care for them.  Thus Cap has his mojo back, Wolverine does not, but returns as "Old Man Logan"...  but the best retract of all belongs to the Man Of Steel.

You see, DC has another "kind-of" reboot coming, in which Wally West (one of those characters DC tried to get rid of) comes back to let everyone know that some cosmic douche has stolen 10 years of their lives.  While apparently DC isn't going to take it ALL back to the point of the latest goof-up, there is ONE major part that is going back the way it was....

If I understand what I read last night on Comic Book Resources, here's the gist:  When the old 52 became the New 52, the original Superman and Mrs. Clark Kent didn't disappear- they went into hiding, living a normal life as Mr. and Mrs. White- and child!  However, just as Wally comes back and de-screws/re-screws everything up, douchebag Superman gets killed in battle, leaving Mr. and Mrs. Superman to re-enter the scheme of things- even though everything by their perspective is still fairly messed up.  And what about Wonder Woman?

Credit this to

Now mind you, I gave up comic books several years ago, right after a time travelling deer reduced us to alternate automobile provisions.  But from the outside, it would seem to me that DC and Marvel might be a tad better off to just tell their writers to...

...and write the characters that the fans really want, and if you want a gay/female/ethnic/non-old-fashioned character, do what Stan and Jack did....

And MAKE THEM UP!  It ain't the fans fault if you make 'em boring...

What do you mean by that, eh?


  1. Chris:
    Now, what do I ALWAYS seem to say about "the good old days"?

    It would appear it DOES apply to comic books.
    I can't (and in every way WON'T) succumb to whatever the hell it is these "writers" are trying to do.

    I like my superheroes AS THEY WERE CREATED...sounds simple enough, right?
    Hal Jordan IS Green Lantern.
    Barry Allen IS the Flash.
    Steve Rogers IS Captain America.
    Like I said...simple.

    And none of this (another?) new twist w/ Cap. He's now a bloody HYDRA AGENT and been so for decades???
    C'mon...Gimme a damn break.
    Yesterday's date is NOT on my birth certificate.

    I don't give a crap what the comic moguls WANT us to believe (pablum to swallow)...not gonna happen with THIS devotee to the REAL silver age of comics.

    Besides, at the ridiculous PRICES they charge these days per issue, the LEAST they could do is give us our REAL superheroes (back), and not this constant regurgitating "new" vision. In other words, STOP with all the mucking about.

    Back to basics (good versus evil and good WINS)...worked for such a LONG time, so they used to be doing SOMETHING right.

    Very good post.

    Stay safe up there, brother

  2. I must admit, having worked for WB for a few years, I knew a bit about my story lines. HOWEVER, even I am having a hard time keeping up with the superhero "craze" that's taken up lately between TV and movies.

    At face value, most are reasonably good. But I will say that my husband, an avid fan of the comics, finds the holes in every story line.

    1. Yep, I gotta keep myself from constantly leaning over to Laurie and saying, "Now, in the BOOKS..."