X-Ray of Haney's head shows nothing

A while back, I'm sure I told you all of the trials and travails we have had at my job with the "new" cutting machine we got from our Missouri plant.  In the five or six short weeks we have had it, we have replaced the computer board on the machine itself, changed the conveyor belt (only to discover that the boards underneath were just as bad, and will have to wait until the next belt replacement- 6 months or more down the line- to replace them), had our IT people come down to work out various bugs (which fell into three categories- "fixed", "we don't know how to fix this, it's a cutting machine company issue", and "it is what it is"), replaced two axial motors, and learned to work with the various dear traits it exhibits.  But today may have finished it off for the time being.

This morning I tried to fire up the Haney (Named after the Pat Buttram salesman character from Green Acres, because we HAD to have bought it from him), and the screen came up "Windows is closing"- apparently it had been closing since I shut it down (or thought I did) some 15 1/2 hours before.  After taking a couple of minutes in trying to convince it to finish shutting down, I finally rebooted.  I signed in.  And then it told me, "Windows cannot open your settings.  The default settings are being opened. "  Along with a 30-second timer.  And then the usual desktop screen came up- with NO icons.

After some contact back and forth with the IT guy (who is in Minnesota in preparation for the upcoming executive meetings), it was determined that the computer running the cutter would have to be sent to him so he could determine WTH was going on.  Moments later, the Haney was lobotomized.  Leaving me with one machine, a fellow cutter who has worked approximately 10 and change of the last 40 working hours, and enough prototype "hot" orders (all of which were fubared to one extent or another) to leave me completely buried.

Days like this are a struggle for me (no kidding, Elroy?) because I start a day with every intent to do the best job I can and events like these just leave me feeling less and less accomplished until my frustration becomes a big mental/emotional boil that needs lanced.  The only solution I have found is to do the smart thing- just give up and say "Que sera sera"- and hope someone wanders by to give me a good laugh.  Luckily, we had that aforementioned long list of fubared protos, and eventually I hit one that had a panel so goofed it looked like a chronic alcoholic off the wagon designed it, and the crisis for me was over.  However, by this time my boss had passed "awesome", skipped "wonderful", and moved up to "Outstanding," which on HIS anger scale is about a Level Three Snow Emergency.  His will to not react hotly is astounding at times, and pushed to near his limit he still won the battle.  A battle I could only win (actually survive) by not giving a crap anymore.


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My next story comes to you from porn spammers, who evidently borrowed my address from Bob (jk) and hit me up about once a week now.  Not a big deal, but one of them had a turn of phrase I just had to share:

Undress me with your eyes tied up!

Still not sure how to accomplish this...  But still not gonna click the link to learn how...


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In lieu of a real Martin World News post, how about a couple of headlines?

#1


Study Learns Chicago Criminals DON'T Buy Their Guns Legally


A Chicago State University study, reported by Breitbart.


#2

POLICE: RANCHER LASSOS BIKE THIEF OUTSIDE OREGON WAL-MART

Yep- Lady cried, "Help, he's stealing my bike!"  Rancher jumped on his horse and lassoed the perp.  Surprise surprise, a transient from Seattle...


#3

Spanish town's giant dog dropping goes walkies (yep, a BBC headline)

That's right, a three-meter-tall, 66 lb. inflatable dog pile was stolen in the Spanish town of  Torrelodones- part of a campaign to, er, stomp out not picking up puppy waste.  At least this one was inflatable- there are others made of concrete all over town.  However, the poop did cost around $2700 and the town would like it back.