Spam 101 class #3

So I thought I might tackle the ol' spam file again.  Mainly because I got tired of watching the administrators of a Christian page on MeWe trying to run off a flat-earther and his clique.  NO LIE.


Anyway, let's start with Achmed from Dubai.  He had a comment in Persian so big it "exceeded the 3,900 character limit".  So points to Achmed for teaching me that Google translate has a 3,900 character limit!  Anyway, I sawed off about half the comment so I could get an idea about what he wanted.   Essentially he was advertising the Hotel Waldorf Astoria Dubai Palm Jumeriah, which I believe somehow has a 360 degree exposure (though to what I'm not sure), and features yet another thing I didn't realize- the "glacial waters of the Persian Gulf."  The Persian Gulf is glacial?  Well, I did find a map that suggested glacial run off could come as close as the Gulf of Oman, but that would mean crossing over a thousand miles of India and Pakistan to get there, so I'm betting the "glacial" might have worn off.   The second half was more of the same, with the interesting aside of "The beautiful intruder modeled on the beach, you can drive to Dubai's leisure centers in a matter of minutes. This hotel is a fortune teller for businessmen and those who want to have their own appointments in Dubai or they want to use Dubai for a business address."

Achmed, you should have given a bit more info on the Beautiful Intruder.  What the heck, it's not like your under the limit anyway, amIrite?  But you might want to keep in mind, even the Sheikh of Dubai can't get a glacier to the Persian Gulf.


Next, a commenter who left a real name- "James Smith"- tells me:

Right now I am watching NFL online with N F L T V N O W , This NFL is available with no extra cost. Free TRIAL Here => NFLTVNOW.COM 

Um, you might want to save this for a moment when the NFL is actually playing.  Or at least in training camp. 


Next we have Fillipe from Belgium, who somehow might have been saved from a terrible fate by reading this blog!  Might want to note the Belgian word for " ' " is apparently "?" to him.  Anyway...

Hi there, just became aware of your blog through Google, and found that it's truly informative. I?m gonna watch out for brussels. I?ll appreciate if you continue this in future. A lot of people will be benefited from your writing. Cheers!

Now I can't say as I remember ever warning Belgians about their capitol on a Time Machine post, but maybe this was a Lawyer Horace Bellbottom thing.  Maybe I should.  I guess I better learn about the terrible danger in Brussels first, though.


Our next Spammer is Don from Honolulu, who gives us some valuable advice:

Staying caught with DUI is incredibly common in the United States but this can be no longer a big deal to many on the drivers because they know that they might find DUI Lawyers who are able to help them get out form the case. In fact there is a better method to find DUI Lawyers who will request the court to cut back your punishments or even acquit you from your DUI case. Thus with the expertise connected with DUI Lawyers you do not have to handle your image as a consumed driver forever. Although it is simple to find DUI Lawyers who are able to defend you against your event, you should take for granted the DUI charges which will be filed next to you because this can really have an impact on your whole life. It can mean you can lose your job and even land a person in prison. Some of the motorists who have been caught DUI do not make their way to find DWI Lawyers who can help them deal with their case but hiring DUI Lawyers can keep away from your name to be produced 

That's good to know, as none of us want our names to be produced!  The thing that worries me about Don's comment is that it came on a post from when the Hawaiians woke to get that nuclear attack text on their phones  a year or so ago.  Is he trying to imply that Hawaii civil defense ( not to mention the governor) were inebriated at the time?  They might want to skip the DUI guys and go right for the Hammer...

Beatriz in Lisbon brings this up...


Olá meu ente ! Eu quero diz que este artigo é incrível , grande escrito e incluem aproximadamente todos importante infos. Eu iria como ver extra posts como este. 

Which, de-Portugese-ified, means:


Hello my darling I want to say that this article is amazing, great writing and include about all important infos. I would like to see extra posts like this.

Extra posts?  Good grief, do people REALLY want to hear more from me?  Extra posts would mean I would have to drop down to a part-time job, which means you all would have to chip in and SUPPORT me!  I'm game, what do you think?

But guys?  What about all these great compliments?

I genuinely prize your work, Great post.-  Henry Kisseyger, Washington DC

You are a very intelligent person! - Neil de Weedy Tyson, Los Angeles

Rattling instructive and good anatomical structure of subject matter, now that's user pleasant (:.- Dr Phil McKlaw, Reno



Okay, maybe forget that last one.  Maybe you spammers might wanna chip in- no wait, never mind.  I'll just get ahold of that guy whose the lawyer for the dude that died in a car crash in Monrovia, Liberia, and wants me to claim his money as next of kin.


Next up, how about Married in Las Vegas, who tells me:

You should not just join one site just a few instead, that way there is a selection of members to decide on from. The online dating services arena is growing immensely weight loss everyone is depending on internet to satisfy new people, find their significant other, friendship and more activities. Once they are successful of their career and accomplish what you want, they realize the significance of marriage. 

Okay, so Married, we have a few problems here.  First, the random "weight loss" thing.  Are you trying to tell me something?  Second, "...Once they are successful of their career and accomplish what you want"?  How nice of them to base their careers on accomplishing what I want!  But since none of them chimed in on my earlier 'pledge drive', I'm thinking it just doesn't work that way...

And believe me, getting what I want isn't a real good indication of the "significance of marriage"...


Jenny from Dubuque asks:

Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It in reality was a entertainment account it. Look complex to far added agreeable from you! However, how could we keep in touch?


I was with you right up to 'writeup', sweetie.  I started trailing off around, 'account', and that third sentence just lost me completely.  As for 'keeping in touch', there is that "Follow by e-mail" button at the top of the blog... but I really wish you wouldn't...


Finally, there are those I just can't make heads or tails of...

Provide legitimate on via July eight, 2019 @ 6:30 am EST.- Joe at Grand Central Terminal

Lastly at four pm Thursday they had been delivered.- Ms FTD in Omaha...

And the struggle for the Iron Throne begins. (Also available in "wrestle" instead of "struggle".)- GOT Fans I and II, Far Rockaway, NY and Rio Linda, CA

In fact no matter if someone doesn't understand then its up to other visitors that they will assist, so here it takes place. - Confused, Hoagland IN.


I hate to tell Confused, but with these four, it isn't taking place here tonight!