Tine Machine co-ordinates VICXLIV648102370

 

"Elvis!  Elvis, wake up!"

"Um?  Whu.. what's going on?"

"Wake up!  You have to practice for your interview of the Beatles!"

"The WHO?  No, man, I won this week!"

"No, the Beatles did!  Second week in a row, don't you remember?"

"Dadgum it, I tell you I won!  Here, lemme show you right at the end of last week..." (Keyboard clicking)  Look right here!"

"Maybe YOU better look at it, bud..."

"and in an amazing, miraculous event that even I can't figure how it happened,

 the winner- despite only getting three votes between them..."

"...the Beatles with Come Together/Something!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"No!  That ain't right! That ain't how it happened!!!"

"Incredible as it seems, huh?  So anyway, here's a list of the things I want you to bring up in the interview.  Pay special attention to page seven..."

"(muttering) This is a bunch of crap...I know I wasn't dreamin'... page seven, here!  'This is what you get for that "Boycott Time Machine" crap last week.  Much love, the Boss.'... YOU SUNNAVA..."

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And that's how Elvis got to start the day on October 23rd, 1970, aboard the Musical Tardis!  Now that I've let him off the hook, why don't you go ahead and let everyone know what's coming up on Time Machine this week?

A fat lip, for one!  We got anuther not-so-close Panel race...leastways there ain't no Beatles songs in the picks... we got 2 new M10 songs... Say, since you have the M10 an' the Martin Era 2.0, why not have the Panel picks get called the Presley Picks?

Because I pick the ten, I decided the era, you do NOT pick the panelists.

That's just avoidin' the question...

Plus you'll never get it past Bellbottom...

HB:  I should say not!  Why the conflict of interest with your estate alone... 

EP:  Oh, please, I always could sweet talk Priscilla inta anything...

Never the less, it's not gonna happen.  Anyway, let's kick off the music with a band that's been floating around the shuffle for a bit... and hasn't been on the M10 since August of 2016!  Here, from Germany is Acres Wild at #9:

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An' now, to help out with the Panel picks, here's the one an' only Priscilla Beaulieu Presley!!!!

P: Wow, you actually take me somewhere with you... and it's a BOX...

E: Honey, this is my afterlife job!

P:  Afterlife?

E:  Yeah, see, this is a Time Machine, and I got hired in and all...

P: Is this another one of your crazy stories to get out of trouble?

E: No, sweetie, I promise!  Chris help me out...

Um, 'boycott time machine..'

E:  All right!  I'll never do it again!

And...

E:  And... I'll invite the Beatles to host the Christmas Party this year!

Wow, you heard it here first!  Okay, yeah, he's legit.

P: So what are we doing?

E:  He's gonna give us some facts an' figures on this here song list from 1970, and we're gonna list off the top bunch of them fer people to guess at which one won... okay dumplin'?

P: Sure, sounds like fun!

Now that that's settled, the Panel list this week has 16 songs named #1 on 76 stations, including the return of the ever-beloved Laurenco Marquez song of the week- German star Michael (Mike) Holm with a tune called Madamoiselle Ninette...

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P: Hey, that was kinda catchy...

E: Yeah, but it ain't gotta chance o' winnin' since he told us about it.

This is true- our winner had just under half the votes!  But, we have a slate of 6 reasonable contestants, so...

E: That means we gotta read off these here songs.  You go first!

P:  All right, dear.. choose from: Cracklin' Rosie by Neil Diamond, #1 on Cashbox this week...

E: Then the Jackson Five- they're a buncha kids, hon- with I'll Be There at #2...

P: Third is the Partridge Family with I Think I Love You at #52 and climbing fast...

E: Then we got the Carpenters, sawin' away with We've Only Just Begun at #4...

P: Fifth is James Taylor and Fire And Rain at #15...

E:  An' finally, the Kinks an' Lola at #14!

Nice job, you two!  Next up, we have the second M10 debut- one pointed out to my by my son and heir, KC!  At #8, from his 2018 lp Moodie, allow me to introduce to you... Yuno!

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I struggled get something fresh that I haven't told about our 6D victim, but failed!  That's okay, though, as we're running long anyway!  The song with the highest spot on Cashbox without a Panel vote was Dawn with Candida at #3.  But let's then move onto the Overseas If You Please, where we find at the top of their charts...

South Africa: Mike Curb Congregation's Burning Bridges- a song that would nip our top 40 next year;

Canada:  Finalist Cracklin' Rosie;

New Zealand: Finalist Lola;

Australia:  Another Carpenters tune, (They Want To Be) Close To You, Which was a Cashbox #1 10 weeks ago;

And the UK: Freda Payne's Band Of Gold, which hit the top ten in July.

And, this week's big mover is Bread's It Don't Matter To Me, 'rising' 24 spots from 45-21.

E:  That was bad, boss...

You should here our company CFO tell his jokes at the quarterly meeting...  

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This week's remaining M10:

10- Castlecomer's Runaway drops three this week.

7- Up those same 3 spots, Bon Jovi and Beautiful Drug.

6- Hanging at 6 a second week, former #1 The Innocence Mission and On Your Side.

5- Are they finally, really going down?  Saintseneca falls 2 with In A Van.

4- Shilpa Ray's Heteronormative Horseshit Blues up one to #4.

3- Blue Oyster Cult bites into that #3 position with Tainted Blood...

Ugh, boss, that's worse...

Don't you have to go call the Beatles?

2- And holding, bridesmaid America with Remembering.

Which means, at #1 for a third week...

The Four Seasons with the Any Day Now/Oh Happy Day Medley!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the Panel poll...

If you took the Partridges or the Kinks, you got 5.2%...

If you took the Carpenters, 6.5%...

If it was James or Neil, 9.2%

But the winner, with 46%....

The Jackson Five with I'll Be There!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next week, some, most, or all of the J5 and 1971!  

E:  Hey, sweetie, when you go back, after I'm gone, can you have the estate tell him that calling the Panel the "Presley Picks" is a good idea?  Priscilla?

P: You're pathetic....