Martin World News

 

I will mix just a little music in with this post as I go along, but we start with:

FoxNews- You pushed it too far, Richard

Headline: Fan arrested after family member struck by adult toy at WNBA game amid crackdown

For a third time, someone tried to throw a green dildo onto the floor of a WNBA game.  18 year old Kaden Lopez had two things going against him.  The first: everyone is already over this deal, and sympathies are minimal to the point of the last guy getting arrested.  The second: his arm strength was also minimal, and he hit a man sitting with his family a few rows ahead.  Said man is now wanting to prosecute him for assault, on top of his arrest.  Plus, my guess is he won't be invited to take shots from halfcourt for a million bucks at any other basketball games.

BBC- The way to a man's funeral

Headline: Mushroom murderer tried to kill husband with pasta, cookies and curry, court was told

Aussie Erin Patterson was convicted of murder X3 after her beef stroganoff killed her ex-in-laws, an in-law aunt- but failed to take down her target, he estranged husband, a local pastor -which may have had something to do with his still being alive.

In fact, she tried to off Ian Wilkinson multiple times prior with food.  Once with penne Bolognese, which merely gave him the "standard" food poisoning symptoms.  Second attempt was during a camping trip a year later (mind you, they'd been divorced for some time- he thought, amicably) with a meal of chicken korma curry, which I am sure is a completely normal thing to serve on a camping trip.  This time, he went into a coma and nearly died.  Then, just months later, it was a vegetable wrap that briefly paralyzed him.

Despite all this, it took a doctor suggesting he keep a food diary before he managed to think, "I wonder if she's trying to kill me with food?"  And YET, he next accepted cookies "from his daughter" that may have been baked with love and anti-freeze.  And then, the dinner party, about which only Ian's sister had reservations, begging their parents not to attend.

"We'll be fine," said dear old (now deceased) dad.  I guess it ran in the family...

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Musically, all you need to know is that, not surprisingly, last week's videos, from Redspencer and Whitney are 1 and 1A on my chart, and while we didn't have another debut-at-#5 week this week, we did have one at #6...

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Moscow Times- too soon?

Headline: Belgorod Cafe Sparks Controversy Over Bomb Shelter Cake

A cafe in Belgorod, a city very near the Russian border with Ukraine, is taking some heat for serving 'bomb shelter' cakes.  But why not laugh to keep from crying?

It is not the first time a Belgorod business has tried to turn the city’s wartime reality into a marketing gimmick. Earlier this year, a local bar began selling “Bomb Shelter” craft beer, which also drew criticism, but remained on tap despite the complaints.

France24- You shoulda learned from Kaden Lopez

Headline: France arrests man who lit cigarette from Unknown Soldier memorial flame

Not much more is known about this idiot, other than he was filmed doing it by a Latvian tourist.  Obviously, the lesson for today is, "Stupid doesn't hide in a crowd."

Xinhua- Quick, we're low on Xi stories

Headline: Xi Jinping, an avid sports fan

I had made note of the fact that Xinhua's front page only lead off with 2 headlines starting with Xi.  Of course, they still had a side banner flashing alternately, "Xi's Time" and "Xi in my eyes".  But someone at editorial must have noticed the low-Xi count, and gave us this very infrmative story:

Sports have an undeniable charm. Chinese President Xi Jinping also describes himself as a sports fan.

He places great importance on the development of sports in China and has repeatedly encouraged young people to actively participate in physical exercise.

Sports have also consistently played an important role in Xi's diplomatic engagements.

Under the leadership of Xi Jinping, China is making great strides toward becoming a country strong in sports, while showcasing to the world its openness, inclusiveness and cultural progress.

Now there's some real newspapering, there!

And finally:

News.ComAU- and it came with video

Headline: ‘Yuck’: Couple’s gross beach act horrifies Aussies

A man has been caught performing an intimate act on his female companion at an Australian beach, sparking public outrage.

"An intimate act".  But what was it?  Sex? Perhaps a 'medical exam'?

Nope.  Popping zits on her back.

Tune in next time when a gentleman from Londonderry picks an immigrant's nose for him.