Martin World News

 

Not a very good day to try and find humor off the news, what with 2 mass shootings by 2 former military, but you have to try and find the humor in life, so...

Fox News- Money can't buy happiness

Headline: Mets fall out of playoff contention on final day of season, completing awful collapse

 I share this one with a bit of delight, as their collapse put my Cincinnati Reds into the playoffs (for a game or two, anyway.  The Mets, howver, aren't smiling after losing on the last day of the season to a team with a losing record.  Why the long faces?

New York came into the 2025 season with the second-highest total payroll – more than $341 million – and the second-highest active roster payroll with $266.6 million, according to Spotrac. Soto came over to the Mets from the New York Yankees on a 15-year deal reportedly worth $765 million.

My son informs me that one of their most consistant players has opted out of the last year of his deal.  Put it in perspective:  My low budget Reds had the same amount of wins as the Mets (but beat them out because they won their games with the Mets).  The Reds make the playoffs having spent about $1.4 million per win.  The Mets go home, having spent $341 million for each of their 83 wins.

The Mets had an eight-game losing streak at the worst time, starting with a series against the Reds and continuing through the Philadelphia Phillies and Texas Rangers matchups. The team bounced back against the San Diego Padres and then dropped two of three against the Washington Nationals.

The series against the Marlins was crucial, but New York was only able to pull out one win out of the three games. New York was 11-17 in August and finished 10-15 in September.

Ouch.

X- Do they ever stop their lying?

No headline here, just a story.  Last weekend, tennis pro Serena Williams complained that she was "triggered" by a display that had cotton bolls on it, as it was a symbol of slavery.

However, fans recalled she had JUST such a display IN HER OWN HOME.

 Could we just once, have a liberal that makes the news (other than Bill Maher and John Fetterman) that DOESN't lie through their teeth at every opportunity?

BBC- Now where did we put him?

Headline: How England misplaced its first king

This is actually a very imformative article about Æthelstan, who united England for the first time back in 925 AD, and how he was forgotten by people mainly because his kingdom did not outlive him.  However, I just wonder how many Englanders would like to forget the CURRENT king? (Note:  He currently has a 59% popularity rating, not bad but ranking him 4th most popular royal.

"I say, Let us see how YOU top 59%..."

Moscow Times- Oh, like you guys don't do cut-rate versions

Headline: Russia's Eurovision Rip-Off Exposes Kremlin's Delusions of Cultural Grandeur

So Russia, who is no longer invited to Eurovision, had it's own contest alleging to feature acts around the world, called Intervision.  The article was a lengthy opinion piece, so let me sort through the highlights.

-The USA was "invited to participate", but...

Things also went awry with the United States — Russia’s tactical trump card in this whole story. First, Brandon Howard, known mostly for speculation about his possible kinship with Michael Jackson, refused to come. He helpfully announced that Vassy — the Greek-Australian singer Vassiliki Karagiorgos — would perform instead. But after the Australian authorities sent her an “official note” as a citizen of that country, Plan B also fell through.

Which, speculated some, was a good thing, as Vassy is well known to be in LGBTQ circles, which is legally verboten In Russia.  Stay tuned for more on that one.

-And about this "worldwide" thing:

The geographic scatter of participants provoked grand statements. For example, TV host Yana Churikova said two hours before the show that the “whole planet Earth” was represented, to which host Dmitry Borisov happily confirmed: “Twenty countries!” There were actually 22 participants, once the United States dropped out. Incidentally, from hostile Europe, only three out of a possible 44 countries took part in Intervision. Out of 35 countries in the Americas, four participated. Africa also sent four, while Asia provided an impressive nine, including the eternal vassals of the former U.S.S.R., supplying the desired sense of closeness.

- Of course, the Russians were supposed to win, but...

The main object of the carefully staged comment was, without question, a man with the militaristic surname Dronov, better known by his stage name Shaman. 

The problem was that many of the contestants turned out to be decent performers and bright professionals. Even though most of them sang either dreary pop or sanitized tourist-style folk, it was obvious that they outcompeted the so-called singer Shaman. So what did he do? He put forward a pompous and, in fact, deeply insulting display by asking the jury not to score his performance. “By the laws of hospitality,” he was obliged to yield victory to Russia’s guests. After all, Russia had “already won” simply by hosting the contest.

- So who did win?  Not the one the government would have liked....

What can one say, when the winner of a contest in the land of “traditional values” turns out to be a young, openly gay Vietnamese man in a dress? Duc Phuc even bonded with the Belarusian entrant, Nastya Kravchenko, gifting her a Vietnamese hat with her portrait on it (though he gave similar gifts to every contestant). The Vietnamese, it seems, did their homework and charmed everyone in the room. And before the jury knew it, Phuc was on the winner’s pedestal — when really, in the eyes of pro-war patriots, he belongs behind bars!

And no, I'm not going to speculate on how to pronounce, Duc Phuc.

Xinhua:  The world's WHAT??

Headline: Marriage registration service station set up as world's highest bridge inaugurated in Guizhou, SW China

Okay, so the Chinese just inaugurated the world's highest bridge,  the Huajiang Grand Canyon Bridge in Zhenfeng County, southwest China's Guizhou Province.  And a marriage registration station was set up nearby, so the prospective couples could then cross the bridge into a new life.

Spanning the Huajiang Grand Canyon, dubbed "the Earth's crack," the 2,890-meter-long structure is the latest addition to the rapidly expanding infrastructure network of the world's second-largest economy.

grok's idea of Earth with a butt crack

Well, I'm not pressing my luck any farther tonight...