Time Machine week 94

It's November 15th, 1971.  Get ready for a nerdgasm, because today Intel introduced the 4004- the first one chip CPU.  The size of a little fingernail, it was as powerful as the room-sized first UNIVAC computer.

Yep, that was it.  Whoopie!

Welcome to Time Machine, where this week we have a six degrees that leads... well, I'm not really sure where it goes; where Quiet Riot got their material; and the subject of high debuts.  It's okay, it'll be better than it sounds.  Isn't it always?  Well, ISN'T IT???

We open with our look at the top of the charts elsewhere, and we do have a couple of international changes.  In Australia, Olivia Newton-John's Banks Of The Ohio takes over the top slot;  in Ireland, tenor Red Hurley tops the charts for a second time since we've been keeping track with a song called Kiss Me Goodbye.  And in the UK, the rockers known as Slade take the top for the first time with Cuz I Love You.  They would repeat this 5 times, twice with songs later covered by Quiet Riot:  Cum On Feel The Noize (#5) and Mama Weer All Crazee Now (# 51).  As you can see, Slade were not expert spellers.  Their one success in the US of A, Run Run Away, peaked at 20 here in 1984 ( it was top ten in the UK).

Well, they LOOK tamer than Quiet Riot...

Around the country, we find Detroit united behind Family Affair at the top; LA and WLS in Chicago pick the Shaft Theme;  WCFL in the Windy City has Peace Train; Minneapolis has Imagine at the top; and Pittsburgh holds out with Gypsies Tramps And Thieves.

The AC chart is still topped by Peace Train; R&B by Inner City Blues; and Conway Twitty and Loretta Lynn top the Country charts for the second time ( both this year), with a tune called Lead Me On.

We had 12 debuts on the hot 100, but only two for the mention.  At 76, Jefferson Airplane hits with Pretty As You Feel; and at 84, Jonathon Edwards' Sunshine enters the chart.

That brings us- briefly- to the Birthday songs.  I say briefly because we have a song turning 35 this week that debuted all the way up in #27.  That song was the Bee Gees' Too Much Heaven.  And it got me thinking, and having thought, researched.  And from that, I give you the 25 highest debuting songs on Cashbox from 1962 to 1979!

T-23- Tusk, Fleetwood Mac, Oct. 6, '79, #36.
T-23-  Good Luck Charm, Elvis Presley, Mar. 17, '62, #36
T-23- Valleri, Monkees, Mar. 9, '68, #36
T-21- (Sweet Sweet Baby) Since You've Been Gone, Aretha Franklin, Mar. 2, '68, #35
T-21- She'd Rather Be With Me, The Turtles, May 20, '67, #35.
20- Without Love (There Is Nothing), Tom Jones, Dec. 27, '68, #34.
T-18- Someone Saved My Life Tonight, Elton John, July 5, '75, #33.
T-18- Winchester Cathedral, New Vaudeville Band, Oct. 29, '66, #33.
T-15- Tragedy, Bee Gees, Feb. 10, '79, #32.
T-15- Let It Be, Beatles, Mar. 14, '70, #32.
T-15- A Little Bit Me, A Little Bit You, Monkees, Mar. 25, '67, #32.
14- Mrs. Brown You've Got A Lovely Daughter, Herman's Hermits, Apr. 17, '65, #31.
13. Never Can Say Goodbye, Jackson Five, Apr. 3, '71, #29.
12- I'll Be There, Jackson Five, Sept. 19, '70, #28
T-10- Too Much Heaven, Bee Gees, Nov. 18, '78, #27.
T-10- All You Need Is Love, Beatles, July 29, '67, #27.
9- As Tears Go By, Rolling Stones, Christmas Day '65, #26.
8- 19th Nervous Breakdown, Rolling Stones, Feb. 26, '66, #24.
T-6- Heartache Tonight, Eagles, Oct. 6, '79, #23.
T-6- Nowhere Man, Beatles, Mar. 5, '66, #23.
T-4- Lady Madonna, Beatles, Mar. 23, '68, #21.
T-4- Can't Buy Me Love, Beatles, Mar. 28, '64, #21.
3- They're Coming To Take Me Away, Ha-Ha, Napoleon XIV, July 23, '66, #20.
T-1- We Can Work It Out, Beatles, Dec. 18, '65, #18.
T-1- I'm Henry The VIII, I Am, Herman's Hermits, June 3, '65, #18.

A couple of notes:  Tusk and Heartache Tonight were the only members of the list to hit in the same week; six Beatles entries, while the Bee Gees, Stones, the Hermits,  and J5 had two each;  and talk about an anomaly- 8 of them from the month of March!   If you count back 9 months from March... uh, never mind.

You idiot! That's not where new songs come from!

Anyway, onto the rest of the birthday songs!  Turning thirty, The Stones' Undercover Of The Night; .38 Special's If I'd Been The One; and Kool and the Gang's Joanna.  Turning 35, besides Too Much Heaven:  Kenny Rogers' The Gambler; Earth Wind And Fire's September; Rose Royce's Love Don't Live Here Anymore; J. Geils Band's One Last Kiss; and Meat Loaf's You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth.  At 40, Jim Croce's Time In A Bottle; Wings' Helen Wheels; Cheech and Chong with Sister Mary Elephant (Shudd-up!); and The Who's Love Reign O'er Me.

Turning 45, the Temptations with Cloud Nine; The Vogues' version of Till; Marvin Gaye's I Heard It Through The Grapevine; and the Bob Seger System with Ramblin' Gamblin' Man.  Blow out the candles...


So let's take a look at the 45 at 45 tune this week- and this time the song is on the way down.  Jeannie C. Riley's Harper Valley PTA, as you remember from last week, was the song Hey Jude knocked out of #1- and it was also #1 Country, making her the only woman to pull that feat until Dolly Parton did it with 9 To 5 in 1981.  The song was written by Tom T. Hall, and his first choice to do it was Skeeter Davis.  She turned it down- probably not a good idea since she only made the country top 40 three more times afterwards.  But Jeannie wasn't alone; she had to rush it to print because two other ladies had already recorded it.  One was Billie Jo Spears, whose biggest hit was a #4 country song, Mr. Walker It's All Over.  The other was Margie Singleton, who had her biggest success in duets with Faron Young.  Spears released hers the same week as Riley; Riley's became the hit, and Spears' failed to chart.

Jeannie looked better in the skirt, IMHO.

The big dropper was Stagger Lee, dropping 28 spots to #56; the big mover awaits in the top 40.  But before we get there, a handful of Almost But Not Quite shout-outs:  to Birds Of A Feather by the Raiders- their last big hit peaking at 13 last week; Trapped By A Thing Called Love, which has managed to sneak a mention about every other week, also peaked at 13 a couple weeks back and now sits at 25; and Lighthouse's One Fine Morning has halted at 16.

Seven new songs grace the top 40 this week.  Moving up three spots to the leadoff position are the Bee Gees with Don't Want To Live Inside Myself (As I recall, it didn't work out well for Gino Vanelli, either).  Moving two to #39, Lou Rawls with A Natural Man.  A sixteen notch climb for the variety-show fueled tandem of Sonny and Cher with All I Ever Need Is You.  Our big mover for the week belongs to the Temptations with their parting shot at David Ruffin, Superstar (Remember How You Got Where You Are), climbing 36 slots to #33.  David Cassidy, on a break from the Family, comes in at 31, up 27 spots, with a cover of the Association's Cherish.  The new toast of Detroit, Sly and the Family Stone's Family Affair, makes a 33 notch climb to land at #23.   And the Jackson Five cut the distance to the top in half, going from 42 to 21 with Got To Be There.


One song enters the top ten, thus one falls.  The dropper this week is Al Green's Tired Of Being Alone (9 to 18).

The Carpenters slide three spots to 10 with Superstar.

Bread cracks the top ten again with Baby I'm-A Want You, up 3 to #9.

And at #8, the six degrees victim.

The Free Movement, who drop 2 spots to 8 with their big hit I've Found Someone Of My Own, were led by a gentleman by the name of Godoy Colbert.  On the wiki article for the Free Movement, it mentions that he was a member of the Pharoahs (an LA soul group, not Sam the Sham's backup boys); though his obituary  (he died in 2002) also says he was a founding member, the wiki article on the Pharoahs does not mention him.  At some point, another member of the Pharoahs was future Earth Wind and Fire founder Maurice White.  At least, so says the article on the Pharoahs, though neither the wiki articles on White or EWF mention this.  What they do say is that he became a member of the Ramsey Lewis Trio (who did the hit instrumental of The In Crowd) when Eldee Young and Red Holt left to do their own thing.  Their own thing was to form what was eventually called Young-Holt Unlimited (with pianist Don Walker), who had a #3 hit in 1968 with the instrumental Soulful Strut.  But here, things get a bit fuzzy.

Remember last week, when our 45 at 45 involved a young lady named Barbara Acklin?  Well, in 1968, she released a song called Am I The Same Girl... it charted at #79.  But Producer Carl Davis stripped the recording of Barbara's vocals, dubbed in a piano lead by one Floyd Morris, and released it as Soulful Strut by Young-Holt Unlimited.  But there's a problem here, and it's more than just Floyd Morris is not Don Walker.  You see, the backing track thus used was credited on Barbara's recording as the Brunswick Studio Band- and neither Eldee Young or Red Holt were members or even played ON the record.  So there was no Young, no Holt, and the Unlimited was very limited, on their one big hit.

Boy, if ever a title was appropriate...

Cat Stevens moves up one to #7 with Peace Train.

Marvin Gaye's Inner City Blues (Makes Me Wanna Holler) climbs 4 to #6.

When is a Yo-Yo not a yo-yo?  When it stays in one spot, as the Osmonds do at #5.

Maggie May, and Rod Stewart move down a pair to #4.

John Lennon edges up a notch to 3 with Imagine.

Cher slides down from her perch at the top, dropping to #2 with Gypsies Tramps And Thieves.

And that means the new top dog is...

 

 

...Isaac Hayes and the Theme From Shaft!!!!!

That's a wrap for this week!  Don't take any wooden 4004's, hear?

Crap falling everywhere

I'm in a sad mood tonight.  I've had yet another fight with an atheist.  In someone else's blog's comment section.

I know she reads mine, so I'd like to apologize for making a mess all over her blog.  I feel it was provoked, by a silly foolish man with no greater wisdom than to scoff at the heavenly things.  And when I see God scoffed at, I react like Jesus did in the Temple with the money-changers.  However, I don't have the discipline Jesus had, and I tend to spill the holy water with the pigeon cages.

But I have a hard time with those who troll for blogs in which they can plant their tares and mess people up.  I have a problem with those who cannot set their agenda of tearing apart all that is of God long enough to have a logical discussion about the subject- even though they are supposed to be the "free thinkers."  And I have a problem with an antagonist who is such a lackwit that he thinks that a wonderful critique of the Sermon On The Mount involves bullet-pointing each of the Beatitudes, followed by a "yeah, right..."

Nonetheless, I replied humbly and rationally, after which I called his responses "4th-grade" and "infantile".  So in addition to apologizing to the dear lady whose blog hosted Chris and his amazing knotted cord, I suppose I better apologize to the majority of 4th-graders out there.  And possibly any babies out there who object to the term "infantile" being used on  such a person.

To him, I have no apologies, other than instead of confusing him with intelligent responses, I should have just said, "You're a dork", and left it at that.  That he would have had a shot at understanding as it keeps God out of the discussion.

In the background as I type, I am listening to Monday Night Football, where it is becoming rapidly apparent that the Miami Dolphins would much rather be in a titty bar with Richie Incognito spending some poor rookie's money than actually earning theirs.  So far, the winless Tampa Bay squad has scored on a touchdown by an offensive lineman, a field goal, and a safety when that wonderfully focused offensive line let the RB get tackled in there own end zone.  If Joe Philbin really wanted to survive bullygate, he's doing a bang-up job of showing it.

And if that isn't enough crap coming down, look what's happening outside...

That's right, it's snowing.  And it might even seem pretty, especially when you think of the crap that came down on the Philippines.  (PS Thank God for our boys of the USMC over there as we speak, trying to get food, water, and communications to these ravaged areas.  You are the GREATEST!!!)  But tonight, it's ...er, beauty... is dampened for me.

I understand what is up, my friend.  I fear for you, having to sort through the poison that people like you-know-who try to inject into the situation.  I hope someday you'll cut through all the voices- including mine, especially tonight- and just hear Him.  That was and is my prayer for you.

Sunday Message- Disaster

My message today is, do you read the news?  Typhoon Haiyan went into the record books this Friday as the strongest storm ever to make landfall.  When it hit the central Philippines, it had winds estimated at 195 MPH with gusts well over 200.  In other words, people who lived in anything from concrete buildings to mud huts sat through a 12-hour long F4 tornado.

In the coastal city of Tacloban, the local officials estimate 10,000 dead IN THE CITY ALONE.  The strongest point in the city, the airport, looks like Joplin after their storm.  Many have described the damage as reminiscent of the Banda Aceh, tsunami, because a 10 to 13 foot storm surge came at least a mile inland.

The city at ground zero, Guiuan- a town of 47,000- hasn't been reached yet and at last report is STILL underwater.

I don't have to tell you that even now horror stories are trickling out of an area where even hardened relief workers are saying the damage is "off the charts", "apocalyptic", "the worst I've ever seen".

There are a lot of ways to help.  The organization I sponsor a child through, Children International (Children.org) has a page for donations, as does, I believe, Save The Children.

If worship is putting faith into action and giving your best, as Dr. Jeremiah pointed out this morning, here is a chance for you to do just that.  A fallen world, fallen because of the sin of man, brings forth disasters.  Faith doesn't go around crying, "Why does God allow such things to happen?"  Faith gets up and does something about it.  Even if what that entails is getting your blessed, dry, and healthy butt off your wallet to share your bounty.  The estimated (close to ) half-million displaced men, women, and children now have nothing.

Time Machine week 93

It's November 8, 1971.  And guess what just came out today?

Did you get it?  These are the symbols contained in what is commonly known as Led Zeppelin IV, the band's true masterwork.  The track list read like a greatest hits lp- in addition to Stairway To Heaven, the most played song never released as a 45 (although it did get sent around to radio stations as an ep)-  it contained the hit singles Rock N Roll, Misty Mountain Hop, and the airplay hits Black Dog and Going To California.  The symbols were designed by each band member because they had decided to give the record no title.  In the upper left is Jimmy Page's; though they were not meant to be letters, the lp's occasional nickname Zoso comes from it.

Welcome to yet another adventure in the Time Machine as I do some Beatles fun in honor of this being the week, back in 1968, that Hey Jude was knocked out of the top spot after an 8-week run.  So to start this off, and in lieu of the usual teaser, I am going to give you a list.  Each of these songs was parked at either #2 or #3 during Hey Jude's reign.  The game?  You tell me- which one knocked the Beatles off?  Here are the choices:

The Crazy World Of Arthur Brown's Fire
1910 Fruitgum Company's 1-2-3 Red Light
The Bee Gee's I've Got To Get A Message To You
Jeannie C. Riley's Harper Valley PTA
The Rascals' People Got To Be Free
O.C. Smith's Little Green Apples
Mary Hopkins' Those Were The Days

As a bonus, one of these was #1 before Hey Jude, and thus the only other one to hit the top on the Cashbox charts.  Get that one for bonus points!  Answers at the end of the show.  Be honest- let me know how you did!

As usual we start with what was number one around the world- and the only real change here was Canada giving the nod this week to Gypsies Tramps And Thieves.  Detroit continues to be topped by Have You Seen Her; LA, One Chicago station (WLS) and one Minneapolis station (WDGY) rate the Theme From Shaft first; the other Windy City station (WCFL) is still stuck on Yo-Yo; while Pittsburgh agrees with Canada on Cher's hit (which was our #1 last week), while the other Minneapolis station, (KDWB) has Coven's One Tin Soldier at the top.  Three cheers for Jinx Dawson!

This is kinda getting a Halloween-y feel to it, yes?

Finishing here, the AC chart is still topped by Peace Train, the R&B by Inner City Blues, and the new Country #1 is the third this year by Sonny James, this one called Here Comes Honey Again.  Bet you thought I was gonna say "Boo-Boo", dint ya?

The hot 100 had 13 debuts this week, but only two caught my mentioning fancy.  At #75, newly minted MHOFers Three Dog Night with An Old Fashioned Love Song; and in a nod to good buddy Stephen T., the Beach Boys crack the 100 at 90 with Long Promised Road.

What we lack in debuts we make up in songs celebrating a birthday- 22 of 'em, if I counted right!  Turning 30, we have Olivia Newton-John's Twist Of Fate, The Police with my fave of theirs, Synchronicity II, Duran Duran  with Union Of The Snake, and Yes with their blast from 90215, Owner Of A Lonely Heart.

Turning 35, we have Billy Joel's My Life, Elton John's Part-Time Love, Leif Garrett (yes, Leif Garrett) with I was Made For Dancing, The Jackson's Blame It On The Boogie, the Talking Heads with Take Me To The River, a studio band called Chanson with a disco tune called Don't Hold Back.  Chanson had among its two leaders one James Jameson, Jr., whose dad was one of the legendary Funk Brothers and played guitar on songs from Jr. Walker's Shotgun to the Sylvers' Boogie Fever.
Oh, and one more turning 35- one of the most beautiful songs ever, IMHO- from the Kiss- Paul Stanley lp.





Turning 40, we have John Lennon's Mind Games (sounds like a set up to a punch line), and Stevie Wonder's Living For The City.  At 45, we have the Lettermen with Put Your Head On My Shoulder, and certainly the opposite end of the vocal spectrum, Joe Cocker's version of With A Little Help From My Friends.  Hitting the big 5-0, The Beach Boys again with the teenage prayer In My Room, The Kingsmen with the drunken anthem Louie Louie, and Joey Powers' one-hit wonder Midnight Mary.  Turning 55,  we have Elvis' two sided hit One Night/I Got Stung, along with Billy Grammer's hit from the Great Fifties Countdown, Gotta Travel On. And turning 60 (can you even fathom that?) Dean Martin with That's Amore.  Blow Out The Candles...

The big dropper this week was Kris Kristofferson's Loving Her Was Easier (etc., etc.), falling 32 spots to land at 65.  The big climber?  Well, I thought it was going to be a tie between Sly Stone's Family Affair (at 56) and Dennis Coffey's Scorpio (at 67), both moving 25 spots... but somebody in the top 40 beat that by two spots.  Stay tuned for details!

Our 45 at 45 this week is a song called From The Teacher To The Preacher.  If you don't recall it, well, it peaked at 40 on CB the next week, and stalled at 57 on Billboard.  But the names you might know, for it was a duet.  The male lead was Gene (Duke Of Earl ) Chandler.  And his partner was one Barbara Acklin, perhaps less known for her biggest hit (Love Makes A Woman, 45 pop/3 R&B) than for her biggest writing credit- the top song in Motown this week, the Chi-Lites' Have You Seen Her!

Another addition to the Beauty Contest roster...

And now, Professor Martin's Beatles statistics.  I was actually digging for something else when I had to stop and marvel at the incredible dominance of the Beatles during their run on the charts, from when I Want To Hold Your Hand debuted on January 11th, 1964 till The Long And Winding Road dropped off 348 weeks later.  During that time frame, the Beatles were at #1 19.2% of those weeks.  But more than that- they were on the top forty 68.4% of those weeks, and in the hot 100 71.5% of them!  But the first 145 weeks were even more incredible.  On October 29th, 1966, they had they're first long (their longest actually) absence from the 100- seventeen weeks, until the end of February 1967.  Prior to that, they had three absences of a combined 13 weeks.  In that 145 week period, they were #1 28% of the time, in the forty 90% of the time, and in the hot 100 91.7 % of the time!

So I wondered where they averaged when they weren't #1.  Of course, to get a fair reading of this, I had to decide how to score the weeks they were out of the 100, because to not count those weeks would only make them sound MORE incredible.  So what I did was an imperfect solution:  any week they were off the 100, they got a "101".  I then took the highest chart position of the other weeks.  Going by this admittedly flawed but entertaining design, I found that, for their career, when the Beatles weren't at #1, they averaged being at #44.4.  But if you isolate that first 145 weeks, that average position becomes...

12.  Now THAT is chart success!

Just think how good we could have been had we took it serious, mates!

The top 40 beckons, and four tunes answer the call.  Paul Anka comes in with only his second top 40 since 1963, Do I Love You, up ten to land at 40.  Next comes the week's big mover- and it's a poem reading.  Radio and TV personality Les Crane, perhaps the Father of radio talk shows, reading Max Ehrmann's 1927 poem Desiderata.  (Les' other noteworthy accomplishment- he was Ginger's hubby!  He was married to Tina Louise 1966-74.)

But you still gotta wonder if Bob Denver was getting any...
 

Oh, um, Les' prize-winning jump this week took him from 62 to 35.  Also entering the top 40 this week, Aretha Franklin's Rock Steady went from 42 to 28, and the many-times-mentioned Have You Seen Her gets national love, climbing from 41 to 21.


One, and ONLY one, song moves into the top 40, and one falls out:  Do You Know What I Mean, from 10 to 11.


Marvin Gaye is that entry, moving up a pair to #10 with Inner City Blues (Make Me Wanna Holler).

Al Green slips a pair to #9 with Tired Of Being Alone.

Cat Stevens chugs up a notch to #8 with Peace Train.

The Carpenters drop 3 to #7 with Superstar.

The Free Movement becomes constipated, holding at #6 with I Found Someone Of My Own.

And at 5- the six degrees victim!

The Osmonds' Yo-Yo (dropping from #3), written by Joe South, was first recorded by Billy Joe Royal, bubbling under at #117 in 1966.  It wasn't one of his three big hits; one that was, though, was Cherry Hill Park and that nasty Mary Hill.  That song was arranged and produced by Buddie Buie, who was the guitarist and main writer for the Classics IV.  He would go on to found and manage the Atlanta Rhythm Section.  His drummer there was Robert Nix, who had done the in-studio drumming on some of the Classics IV's songs; and in addition, was co-writer of... Cherry Hill Park!  That six degrees was more of a roundabout than a boulevard, eh?

John Lennon moves up 4 notches to #4 this week.  Imagine that!

Isaac Hayes' Theme From Shaft moves up 2 to #3.

Rod Stewart holds in the runner up spot with Maggie May.

Which means our #1 song is...


HOLD IT!!!!!  Aren't you forgetting the answers to the Beatles trivia question way back up there?

No, but if you're going to be impatient...

If you chose Fire, Red Light, Got To Get a Message, Little Green Apples, or the Rascals... go sit down.

If you took Harper Valley PTA... take the bonus points.  Hey Jude knocked Riley out of the top spot.

Which Means the winner is...


HOLD IT!!!!  If you just mention the #1 song now, and the winner of the trivia next, you can put up a picture without having to put up that stupid warning sign like you always do for repeat #1s!

Good idea!  #1 this week, Cher with Gypsies Tramps And Thieves!

And the song that knocked Hey Jude from #1...

... Mary Hopkins with Those Were The Days!

And that's a wrap!  See you next week!

Scrappy, alive and... well...

Scrappy is back to status quo ante and doofy as ever.  So I thought I'd give him the camera for yesterday's walk...

This is where we have to climb up to get to the Plex...

And daddy calls this "Groundhog Road."  I think it's because we see a lot of groundhogs on it.  I don't know what the lines are for.  Daddy muttered something about "idiot cross-country runners", whatever that means.

Then we come around a corner, and there's the woods up ahead!  I'm so excited I could just poop!  In fact, I think I will...

Then Daddy brings me here and says, "Find the trail, Boofus."  Yeah, right.

(Note from Daddy:  Don't let him fool you.  He knows just how to find the trail.)

Here's where we go in.  It looks like an opening to Daddy, but to ME...

At this point, though, the plan derailed.  Soon as we were in the woods, he smelled something, tossed the camera aside, and literally drug me through the woods.  First stop...

The fallen log that he never knew existed last time we were here, but had to spend five minutes sniffing every nook and cranny this time...

...as well as the entire adjoining area.  He was sure something had come this way... I was sure I wished I hadn't forgotten Stick.

I did manage to get him back on the straight and narrow for a moment... but soon we were tear-assing through the forest primeval again.

These are a couple of examples of what he considered trails during the mad rush.  Finally, I caught a glimpse of what he was smelling...

See him center left?  Anyway, we lost track of him soon later, though Scrappy still led us down a twisting road.  That led us to the usual odd fungi...

... and eventually to the author of Scrappy's grand tour...

Of course, by this time, our hero was oblivious.  To which both the buck and I said, "Thank God."

The sad case of Richie Incognito

The story itself is all over the place.  Richie Incognito is out of a job, because he told a teammate he would stalk his family and "s#!t in his mouth".  And this is sad, why?  Because on so many levels, it never should have come to this.

Start with the man himself.  He is nothing but a bully, and from what we've learned about his father's comments about the situation, the nut didn't roll far from the tree.  He was kicked off not one, but two major University football programs.  Neither Nebraska nor Oregon are known for booting players just because they are sociopaths.  Remember Lawrence Phillips?  LaGarrette Blount?  So getting kicked off of either team is quite the accomplishment.

He found a home in the NFL, of course.  Things like this can be overlooked, ask Bill Belechick.  In St. Louis, he quickly became "the dirtiest player in the league" , well known for twisting ankles and biting arms of players unfortunate enough to be in a pile with him.  But then one day on national TV, he threw a punch at a player, and shouted at his head coach when he was thrown out of the game as a result.

The Rams then got smart.  They dumped him.  But up stepped the Miami Dolphins.

And now, a teammate has to get mental help, others have complained about situations that outside of football would have been termed "robbery", "extortion", and "assault".  But Owner Stephen Ross, GM Jeff Ireland, and Coach Joe Philbin say they knew nothing about it.

I say, you didn't WANT to know.

Once upon a time, the Dolphins were built on a foundation of integrity that sprang from owner Joe Robbie and Coach Don Shula.  They were a team of talent, but also of respect.  The stadium they play in was first called Joe Robbie Stadium in honor of the man.  Then came Wayne Huizenga to buy the team; the stadium gets a new sponsor's name about every two years.  That used to piss me off but not now.  Joe Robbie, were he still alive, likely wouldn't want his name on the place now. I'm sure new owner Stephen Ross could give a rat's ass.  I am amazed that Don Shula, still Vice-Chairman, really wants his name on this letterhead.

General Manager Jeff Ireland is a total idiot.  Besides his removal from the team of everyone who can actually catch a ball in the last two seasons (Brandon Marshall, Davonne Bess, Anthony Fasano, Reggie Bush, even... ugh... Tedd Ginn), he is best known for choosing Daunte Culpepper over Drew Brees and asking potential draft choice Dez Bryant what was up with his mom being a hooker.

Coach Philbin says this is against everything he is trying to do.  That the victim, second year player Jonathan Martin, never came to him or the team's "leadership council" about what was going on.  Um, Joe, Incognito was ON the leadership council.  If that was the team's idea of leadership, why WOULD he come to you?

And the team?  Oh, they knew nothing about it, but were going to look into it-  until ESPN's Adam Schefter blew the lid off the story.  That's when Incognito went to twitter and challenged his accusers- and Schefter by name- to "Bring it!"

And then, Martin gave everyone a voice message with Incognito saying all those horrible things, and calling him a "half-nigger"  Apparently Incognito's African American sidekick, Mike Pouncey (You know, one of Aaron Hernandez' former accomplices bosom buddies) found it funny.  Apparently many players on the team are more upset that Martin told on Incognito than what the a-hole did.  Among those are probably not the younger players who have been "donating" so that Incognito, Pouncey, and others can go out on the town.

But Ross, Ireland, and Philbin didn't know this kind of thing was happening.  Is this a football team or the damn White House?  I call BS on each of you.  Except maybe Ireland; he might have been too busy lining up more draft picks that have moms who'll give him a $20 tumble.

IMHO, the NFL should fine heavily the Dolphins for ever spending money on this piece of subhuman trash.  The should suspend everyone from the top down just like they did with New Orleans.  Incognito should be banned period.  In an age where hazing and bullying has been on everyone's minds and tongues, this is a blow to the reputation of the league and the team that SHOULD NOT be ignored.

In case you didn't realize, this is hard for me to write.  I have followed the Dolphins as my #1 team for over 40 years.  I made it through bad coaches like Dave Wannstedt and Cam Cameron.  I made it through Nick Saban's realization that it's a lot less expensive to assemble a good team in the college realm, where you don't have to pay players above the table.  I even made it through starting QB Cleo Lemon, and drafting Ginn with a waste of a tenth overall pick.  But this....

My heart is definitely out of the equation.

I challenge you, Stephen Ross, and Joe Philbin, to tell me WHY I should give a damn about the team when you obviously didn't.

Oh, and Richie?  Schefter OWNED you.  It wasn't hard.  All one needed was a brain.

Sunday message: Worship

When we have a nice, leisurely morning to get up, Scrappy gets in my face and presses his forehead into the bridge of my nose, looking down until I rub his neck, and then he licks me- eyes, nose, whatever.

This is the difference between praise (the licking) and worship (the head thing).

You see, the morning sermon was on why worship was important.  And I said, "Hold the phone, I'm in more need of what worship is.  If it's so darn important, explain THAT to me!"

And God said, "Well, you have a concordance."  Yes I do, the big ol' Strong's ten-pound concordance.  For those of you that have never worked with the "BOSTPC", let me explain to you that it takes each word in a KJV Bible and gives you the original Greek (NT) or Hebrew (OT) root.  So many times, the trick to using it is figuring out what the word you find in your translation is translated in the KJV, then finding the root in the index.  This case, though, I was looking for one word- worship.  I envisioned a variety of meanings that I could almost string togother in a "worship rosary" to help me start the morning with worship.

When I saw what I found, I saw why God told me to go to the concordance.

You see, there are three words for what worship done right is, and 7 for what it is not.  Let's look at what it is not.  The only OT word for what it is not is used in Jeremiah 44:19, where the prophet is scolding the men of Israel for "not knowing" that their wives are making cakes for the "queen of heaven" (Catholics:  does it not bother you that the Church borrowed it's term for Mary from the OT term for the fertility goddess?  It did me.).  Literally, here worship was a carving out of an object, making a symbol to worship.  The worship does not occur without you creating something.

In the NT, we start with a word found in Luke 14:10 that describes winning the esteem of men.  Worship is not just to "esteem" God, even if you esteem Him more than all others.  It doesn't go far enough.

The next one is found in Colossians 2:23, where Paul warns them against "affected piety";  in other words, worship is not something you can fake for show.

Next one comes from the temptation of Satan where he demands Christ worship him.  This was actually a combination of words that seemed to indicate, "Get in my face and look,"  Or to put another way, "Look at me!  See how great I am!"  This might be what Satan is looking for, but it isn't what God is looking for.

Next, comes from Acts 17:23, when Paul talks to the Athenians about "what you serve in ignorance."  They were covering their bases, praying to every act of nature, every facet of divinity they can imagine, never really knowing the nature of what they served.  God wants worship to begin with knowledge of Him.

Next comes from Acts 7:42, where Paul admonishes those who have been abandoned to the worship of the host of heaven (i.e. astrology and mythology).  The word literally means, "do the service", and references going through the ritual with no idea of what it means.  (There goes the rosary plan!)

Finally, the last one connects to both Mark 7:7 (where Jesus quotes scripture about the empty reverence of those who put the dogma of man ahead of the Word Of God - another shout out to the Catholics, perhaps?) and Acts 18:13 (where Paul lectures about those whose worship follows what men say and is contrary to what God commands.

So worship ISN'T anything we make, is more than simple esteem, can't be faked, is more than just telling God how great He is (a big fat oops for me), is not done in ignorance or by ritual, and isn't just doing what the "worship leader" says on Sunday.  But what is it?

The first OT word, found in too many places to list, means, to depress (push down, not make sad), or to prostrate yourself.

The second OT word means, "to fall down".

The lone NT word means, "to crouch, as a dog licking his master's hand."

So go back to what I said at the beginning.  Scrappy gets as close as he possibly can, pushes his down-looking head against my nose so hard it's as if he's trying to COMBINE OUR BRAINS (think about the implications there), and stays there until I act, which moves him to lick (or praise).

Worship was a whole lot simpler to conceive, and harder to do, than I thought.