And now, our Christmas

First gift- daughter Shenan shows up!

Not only did Scrappy get a big pull toy...

(Can you say happiest kid in the room?)

...but also gets a talking Underdog!

(Soon to be missing his legs.  Thank God he can fly...)

As well as edible treats.

Now, for KC...

 

 

gift card, Old Navy...

Indians jacket...

Vikings man cave sign!

Shenan gets gift card and outfit.

Pretty in pink...

 

 

Dad gets Book on the Duke...

Complete with 8X10s!

I'll let you caption this.

Laurie gets the cheap gifts...

Plus a "snug smock".

Not bad, eh?

Then comes the big prize...

...blue-ray/DVR player!  Hooks up to computer so YouTube and Netflix capable.

 

One Happy family!

 

 



The End.

Time Machine week 100, part two

When we left off, Vietnam Vets were holding the Statue of Liberty hostage, Bing Crosby had the biggest Christmas hit of all time, and Pittsburgh had a song we never heard of at #1.  Today we resolve these plot lines, as well as;  get to this week's big movers; look at why it was that Elvis didn't make our longest-charting singles list; and have a six degrees connect Sly Stone with- Deliverance??!!  Yep, so let's get back to it!

First off, let's take the case of Think and their song Once You Understand.  Think was a studio group put together by a writer of children's songs named Bobby Susser.  A childhood friend of Paul Simon, he had helped Simon on his first records as leader of Tico and the Triumphs, who hit #99 with a song called Motorcycle in 1961.  But, as you will hear, this is anything but a children's song:



Because of the ending , it was banned at many radio stations- and in looking at the oldies records I use for "number ones across the country", it would seem that KHJ in LA, Both Chicago stations, and CKLW in Detroit were among those who banned it.  Of all the stations I look at, only KDWB Minneapolis also had a record of it, peaking at #3 in January.  It was the biggest mover on Cashbox this week, up a quick 30 to #58.  Ironically, another mostly-spoken word tune, Les Crane's Desiderata, is the big dropper, tumbling 31 to #49.

Next up, the next chunk of the top 50 of 1971!

20- Want Ads, Honey Cone.  140 points, same as:

19- Doesn't Somebody Want To Be Wanted, Partridge Family- the song David Cassidy didn't want to do.

18- Knock Three Times, Dawn. 141 of its total of 179 in 1971.

17- Superstar, Carpenters. 142 points. One of three songs titled Superstar to chart.  Murray Head's JCS theme came in at 65; the Temptations paen to David Ruffin, subtitled Remember How You Got Where You Are,  missed the top 125.

16- Draggin' The Line, Tommy James.  144 points, along with:

15- Go Away Little Girl, Donny Osmond.

14- Just My Imagination, Temptations.  145.

13- Rose Garden, Lynn Anderson.  At 146, the highest country crossover.

12- Take Me Home, Country Roads, John Denver. Yeah, technically a country crossover, but it only hit #50 on the country charts.  147 points.

11- It's Too Late/I Feel The Earth Move, Carole King.  150.


We have 5 debuts on the top forty this week.  First out of the blocks is Carly Simon's Anticipation, climbing 11 to land at #40.  Next, Bob Dylan with his tribute song, George Jackson, for the Black Panther leader killed in San Quentin Prison, a six notch move to #38.  Next comes a song called White Lies, Blue Eyes, by a "band" called Bullet.  Actually, this song was recorded by a studio group before a band was ever formed, and the band that was formed included singer Roget Pontbriand.  Roget would go on to spend two weeks with KC and the Sunshine Band (replacing a trombone player who had to be taught a lesson and subsequently returned), and 2 1/2 years with Wild Cherry as a trumpet player who, while touring with them, saw all his recording contributions end up on the cutting room floor.  ("Wild Cherry recorded a huge amount of material.  Unfortunately, none of my parts ever made an album.")  Bullet's one top 40 hit comes in at 37, up 4.  Charley Pride climbs 11 to #34 with the #1 country song this week, Kiss An Angel Good Morning.  And moving up 9 spots to #33, Badfinger with Day After Day.

If you read the comments on TM, you'll see that our friend Bobby G., in expressing his surprise at Monster Mash being the longest charting song of the Martin Era (1962-79), mumbled something about that Elvis hadn't shown up on the list.  So, I decided to look into this.  And here's what I learned.

The King had his golden age in the mid-to-late fifties.  At this point, Cashbox was only releasing a top 50, so it's kind of apples to oranges.  But in that timespan, he racked up 20+ weeks on the top 50 five times.  One of them, Don't Be Cruel, logged 23 weeks; the other four (Heartbreak Hotel; I Want You, I Need You, I Love You; Hound Dog; and Love Me Tender) all hit 21 weeks.

Shortly thereafter, the chart went to top 60, and he had Jailhouse Rock last for 20 weeks there.  But never again on the top 60, the subsequent top 75, or the hot 100, did he hit the 20-week mark.  And now you know.

And now, the finale of 1971's top 50!

10- Gypsies, Tramps, And Thieves, Cher.  One of seven big hits (Peace Train, #51; Spanish Harlem, 48; Got To Be There, 44; Baby I'm-A Want You, 41; Imagine, 36; and one more, coming up) that did not hit either of Cashbox's 1970, 1971, or 1972 year end top 100 charts because of the way they divide the year.  151 points.

9- Theme From Shaft, Isaac Hayes.  This is the other one.  153 points.

8- How Can You Mend A Broken Heart, Bee Gees.  Also with 153.

7- Never Can Say Goodbye, Michael Jackson.  Boy, was that prophetic!  154 points.

6- One Bad Apple, Osmonds.  155.

5- Mr. Big Stuff, Jean Knight. 159.

4- Indian Reservation, Raiders.  160.

3- She's A Lady, Tom Jones.  162.

Then come the undisputed masters of the year:

2- Maggie May, Rod Stewart.  178 points.  And the clear #1...

1- Joy To The World, Three Dog Night.  With a grand total of eight weeks at the top and 198 points.

____________________

Two songs enter the top ten, two fall out.  Dropping are Rock Steady (7 to 21) and the aforementioned Theme From Shaft ( 5 to 13).

The Staple Singers climb from 14 to 10 with a song many of us (sadly, myself included) know better from the Bruce Willis cover- Respect Yourself.

Holding up its descent at #9, the Chi-Lites and Have You Seen Her.

Moving up a pair to #8, the Dennis Coffey instrumental Scorpio.

Up a notch to #7, on the same week that their variety show went from summer replacement to 4-year fixture on CBS, Sonny and Cher with the #1 AC song this week, All I Ever Need Is You.

Moving into the top ten from 11 to #6, Don McLean's American Pie.

Up a notch to 5, David Cassidy and Cherish.

Three Dog Night hold at #4 with An Old Fashioned Love Song.

And at #3, our former top dog, our #1 R&B song this week, and our six degrees victim.

Family Affair (down 2 to #3), two years separated from their last hit, wasn't really "the Family."  Only Rose sang on it with Sly;  Bobby Womack was guitarist, and Billy Preston was on the keyboards.  Of course, Billy was on a ton of things, from the Beatles to the Stones, to- believe it or not- the lp Barbara Joan Streisand.  He played on three cuts of that lp, including the hit cover of Carole King's Where You Lead (which hit #40 at the end of August).  Another cut off that album which might catch the eye is I Mean To Shine, written by Steely Dan's Walter Becker and Donald Fagen, with Becker playing organ on the track.  Also on that track playing guitar is Eric Weissberg- and Weissberg is most famous for his role on the Theme from Deliverance.  Squeal like a pig!!!

The Jackson Five move into the runner up spot with Got To Be There.  But they ain't there yet, because our new #1 is...

...Melanie with Brand New Key!!!!!


Next week it's back to normal for Time machine and the Statue of Liberty.  See you in 2014 on Time Machine!

Time Machine week 100- part one!

Today is December 26th, 1971.  Today, a group called the VVAW- Vietnam Veterans Against War- took over the Statue Of Liberty to beg President Nixon to end the war.  "If he sets a date for the pull out, we will leave", they said.  When a judge told them, "Get out, now", they did, on the 28th.

And just like them, Time Machine is going to occupy for a few days- two to be precise- because there is SO MUCH to cover this week, including:  Comedy, times two; the top ten charting Christmas songs; and 50 to 21 of the top hits of 1971!  Let's have at it, shall we?

First today, let's peruse the tops of the charts- where we don't find a lot of change.  Only one international chart changes- France's top list moves the song Pop Concerto by, not surprisingly, the Pop Concerto Orchestra, into the top spot.  This was a studio band put together by songwriters Paul de Senneville (who became one of France's greatest pop songwriters) and Olivier Toussaint (who was the singer).  Around our nation, Let's Stay Together tops things in Detroit;  American Pie holds forth still in LA and Minneapolis;  Chicago is split between Brand New Key (WLS) and Sunshine (Go Away) (WCFL); and Pittsburgh has at the top a song we'll talk about more on tomorrow's show- a song called Once You Understand by an act called Think.

And now, how about we crack open that top fifty?  These are the top 50 by my unique point system, with ONLY points earned within the year 1971.  And we start with 50-41:

50- Dave Edmunds, I Hear You Knocking.  That handsome guy from England  leads things off, at 88 points.  Since I break all ties, Dave gets the spot ahead of fellow 88-pointers Peace Train and Tired Of Being Alone.

Tough break, mates!

49- Another Day, Paul McCartney.  91 points.

48- Spanish Harlem, Aretha Franklin.  One of the few Aretha tunes I can stand.  92.

47- Do You Know What I Mean, Lee Michaels.  94.

46- If I Were Your Woman, Gladys Knight and the Pips. 96.

45- Me And Bobby McGee, Janis Joplin.  Her posthumous hit garners 98 points.  But so do three others:

44- Got To Be There, Michael Jackson.  Also high in our top ten this week.  And;

43- Have You Seen Her, Chi-Lites.  And; 

42- Lonely Days, Bee Gees.  And rounding out the first ten-

41- Baby I'm-A Want You, Bread, which gathered 99 points.

The last week of 1971 gives us 15 debuts in the hot 100, including six that I will mention.  Leading off in that 100th spot, one-hit-wonder Climaxx with Precious And Few.  Robert John makes his first big mark with a redo of the Tokens' The Lion Sleeps Tonight at 93.  Next, for a little fun, we have a comedy classic that comes in at 90.  Here, with a little help from the Justice League:



Just above it at 89, Carroll O'Connor and Jean Stapleton come in with the familiar theme to All In The Family, Those Were The Days.  If you've never listened to the 45 RPM version, look it up, it's hilarious.  But it is NOT today's second comedy video- you'll have to wait just a bit for that.  Coming in at 83 is War with Slippin' Into Darkness; and at 60, Three Dog Night comes in with Never Been To Spain.

Which brings us to this year's last birthday songs.  Once again, I found nothing of note at the 30-year-old mark;  turning 35, we have the Babys with Everytime I Think Of You; Styx with Sing For The Day; disco star Sylvester with his big crossover hit You Make Me Feel Mighty Real; and Evelyn Champagne King with I Don't Know If It's Right.  Turning 40, the Allman Brothers' instrumental Jessica and the spoken word gift from Canada, Byron MacGregor's Americans.

DINNNG!! That bell tells us we're about to hit the next ten on the year's top 50:

40- Mercy Mercy Me (The Ecology), Marvin Gaye.   The first tune over the century mark, at 100.

39- My Sweet Lord, George Harrison.  102 inside 1971.

38- Groove Me, King Floyd.  103 points.

37- Rainy Days And Mondays, The Carpenters.  105.

36- Imagine, John Lennon.  Sorry leftists, 109 is all he got.

35- Mama's Pearl, Jackson Five.  110.  Also getting 110:

34- Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey, Paul and Linda McCartney.  Still #1 in New Zealand, BTW.

33- Smiling Faces Sometimes, Undisputed Truth.  113.

32- Bridge Over Troubled Waters, Aretha Franklin.  Just didn't care for her gospelized version.  114, just like:

31- What's Going On, Marvin Gaye.  There's more to come, but before we escalate, back to the birthday songs.

Turning 45, we have the late Joe South with Games People Play; the Foundations with Build Me Up Buttercup; and the Doors with Touch Me.  (They should get together with the Divinyls and touch each other, eh?)  Leslie Gore hits the big 5-0 with You Don't Own Me (this weeks' shake-my-head-it's-that-old song);  and turning 55, The Harry Simeone Chorale with The Little Drummer Boy, as well as this one I never heard of before...



Now, the other day Bobby G. mentioned something about doing a best-charting Christmas song list.  I looked on wiki, and this is a really complicated ordeal.  For one, many of the Christmas songs we know and love, like Elton John's Get Into Christmas, Paul McCartney's Wonderful Christmastime, and Elvis' Blue Christmas- mainly because they never pressed a single until years after its release on his Christmas lp- never charted.  Also, Christmas songs charted on so many different charts.  The R&B and Country Charts, Billboard's specialized Christmas and Children's Music charts-neither of which I had any access to- it looked near impossible.  But someone who did have access- a blog site called Zoomerradio- reviewed BB charts going back to the mess of early charts they had back to the 1930's.  Combining all of them, they came up with this list:

10.  Blue Christmas, Elvis Presley.
9.    The Christmas Song, Nat King Cole.
8.    Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer, Gene Autry.
7.    Jingle Bell Rock, Bobby Helms.
6.    I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, Jimmy Boyd.
5.   Merry Christmas Darling, The Carpenters.
4.   All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth, Spike Jones.
3.   The Little Drummer Boy, The Harry Simeone Chorale.
2.   The Chipmunk Song, David Seville and the Chipmunks (always my favorite).
And at #1... as if you couldn't guess...

1.  White Christmas, Bing Crosby, probably the biggest selling single ever.

Y'know what?  While we're on the subject, another favorite of mine is one you probably never hear.  Try this on for size...




And we'll wrap up today's half of the festivities with the next set of the top 50 of 1971:

30- Family Affair, Sly and the Family Stone.  They'll be getting a six degrees tomorrow (which means we'll be seeing a brand new #1 (not-so-subtle clue there) ). 116 points.

29- Brown Sugar, Rolling Stones. 117, even without a week at #1.

28- It Don't Come Easy, Ringo Starr.  The final Beatle to get into the action, with 118 points.

27- Yo-Yo, The Osmonds.  122 points, same as:

26- The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down, Joan Baez.

25- Put Your Hand In The Hand, Ocean. A real golden age for songs of faith on the top 40. 127 points, same as:

24- Ain't No Sunshine, Bill Withers, and:

23- Treat Her Like A Lady, Cornelius Brothers and Sister Rose.  The name of that group kinda confused me, being a 2nd grader in a Catholic School at the time. Why did they have a nun?

22- You've Got A Friend, James Taylor.  137 points.

And wrapping up today's list:

21- Don't Pull Your Love, Hamilton, Joe Frank, and Reynolds.

Tomorrow- well, if I tell you tomorrow's show, I won't have a teaser!  So just come on back!

A few thousand words about Christmas (or a few pictures)

***NOTE:  New video starring SCRAPPY after all the pictures!***

Frosty by Sunday

Scrappy's Landing Christmas Eve

Just starts snowing as we went out Christmas morning

The fun of Christmas?  The kids!

Papa TJ, Mama Katie, Young'uns Jackson and Lizzie, Uncle Josh

Final young'un Sierra, Aunt Rachel

Aunt Emily and Cousin Abby

...and, cousin Blaine

Blaine's dad Andy, Grandpa Jack taking a selfie, Blaine and Mommy Kristen

Emily trying to pass out presents, harassed by paparazzi

Emily and Baxter

Jack's new toy- a device for cooking marshmallows and dogs over a fire, that looks like a fishing pole.

Lizzie with Sierra's new hat.

Me and Baxter

And now, so you can see what I mean about Scrappy turning into "Incredible Hulk-Dog"  Here's his latest movie; at about 4 minutes, he goes into "IHD mode"- running blindly everywhere- and right after, he begins the tearing up of the rug...which we still don't understand.  Enjoy!

Christmas message- the water and the morsel

When God really wants to tell you something, He's not afraid to take you the long way around the barn to get you to hear it.  Case in point:  As a once-Catholic, part of my Christmas for a long time has been listening or watching to the Midnight Masses.  Once upon a time, Ft. Wayne/South Bend's late Bishop John D'Arcy made sure Midnight Mass was on TV, along with a special during-Communion message to the TV viewers.  The new Bishop for whatever reason chooses not to.  After one year with no coverage, the Catholic radio station, Redeemer Radio, started doing a broadcast ( and play by play of a mass isn't all that easy!).    Tonight I settled in to hear this mass, spending the long Choir praying for as many of you as I could think of.  But the coverage  was spotty, and just as the Bishop started the Mass, Redeemer lost their signal.  So back downstairs I traipsed, and found a live stream from St. Jude's Cathedral in St. Petersburg, Florida.

There, I listened to Bishop Robert Lynch give a very good sermon on how the best way to receive the gift of Christmas is to put away selfishness. I enjoy once a year returning to the old rituals, especially since now they've gone back to the wording I new as a young child rather than the sanitized "modern version".  But the moment that struck me was during Communion-  "the Lord's Supper" for those not hip to the lingo, as it were.

I felt drawn to participate, as I do once in a great while.  But at 1:30 in the morning and not wishing to wake the whole house (i.e. one less than reverent Beagle), I decided to "make do".  No wine in the house?  Okay, we'll sub water.  No unleavened bread?  Don't feel like opening the next sleeve of Ritz crackers?  Well, on the table sits a half-eaten box of doughnut holes.  The sweetness of the one makes up for the lack of the other, right?

Before you call lightning down on me for my blasphemy, let me tell you what happened next.

As I said a prayer before eating the "bread", I noted that it was more like the morsel Judas Iscariot dipped with Jesus before he went out to betray Him.  How appropriate, I thought, for a sinner such as I to be sharing, rather than the Bread of Communion, the Betrayer's Morsel.  It seems I do a lot more of that than doing the right thing in remembrance.

And then I prayed about the water.  And the thing that it reminded me of was the last trickle of water from Jesus' side on the Cross.  Just moments after He said, "It is finished".

And that's when it hit me for the millionth time, just in a new way.  Every day I eat the Betrayer's Morsel of sin.  And at the end of each day Jesus says, "It is finished."  And those sins are forgiven, and He wakes me in the morning with "See, I make all things new."  Even me.

With that in mind, it's now Christmas, and He has made all things new. Let's take advantage of that and do well. May your day be blessed and bright, with those you love and the One who's birth in us we celebrate.

A Prayer from Indiana

Heavenly Father,

This morning I was reading your Word in 2 Timothy 4, and read Paul's words to Timothy:

 In the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who will judge the living and the dead, and in view of his appearing and his kingdom, I give you this charge: ² Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction. ³ For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. ⁴ They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. ⁵ But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.


This reminded me of someone who seems to have gone down this very path.  In another passage, in Hebrews 6, it speaks about knowing those who have been saved by whether they bear fruit or briars.  And I remembered this friend mentioning in passing her "salvation moment", calling it "a mystical experience" but never further elucidating.

And I thought, if we are to have a testimony, should it not begin with our salvation moment- especially at the time of year we remember Your Son's manifestation on earth?  For every one of us was born a "little Israel", having knowledge of You, but in the darkness until Jesus was born within us.  Thus You dealt with me;  I knew who You were, instructed in religion by Pharisees and scribes, until the moment a group of friends- my Angels- announced to me Jesus' coming birth.  Led by common shepherds, You drew me to the manger.

The darkness on the land, for me, was like a chorus of demons, calling me, screaming at me, telling me I was their slave.  It was not just faith, but their oppression that drove me to my knees.  I was at the bottom of what I would be.  But then, I called out to you, and a voice bid me step into the manger.  And there Jesus was born, within my heart, and the demon-darkness rose like a curtain from over me, never to rule me again.  Nothing "mystic", lightning didn't fall from the sky.  But I was changed.  The faith of my fathers had born its ultimate fruit in me.

Heavenly Father, while we find a time every year to concentrate on that birth, so often we fail to consider that Christmas is actually that moment of salvation- and so is Good Friday, when Jesus died for our sins, and Easter when He rose again.  The holiest of the days You give us is just that one.  And as I finish this prayer, I praise You for bringing THAT day to my soul.




--------------------------------------------------

This is part of the 50 States of Pray event formed by Mark Koopmans over on his blog.  I thank him for the opportunity and hope you will follow the links and read some of the other prayers as well.

Martin World News

And now, bringing you the variety of stupid stuff from around the world, starting with:

ITEM:  My computer.  Just so blogger knows, I am SICK AND TIRED OF THIS:

  Everywhere you go on Blogger, no matter what I do, I get this.  The story is Blogger trying to fix compatibility issues with IE 11.  Except that I went beck to IE 10 (because 11 has its own issues)- as well as it says it's reading a "user.agent value" (whatever that is) of IE 9, which I haven't had in some time.  Once again proving, the more they upgrade something, the more dumb stuff gets thrown in the mix.

ITEM: Next stop, Mercer County, Ohio.

Yet another addition to the really dumb things I've pulled from the news in this county, from the deputy who left the scene where horses were loose on a road to phone it in, while a car hit one, killing the driver, to the (presumably) other deputy who left his police dog in the squad car without AC last summer until it dropped dead.  But at least this time, it wasn't a cop that did the stupidity.  According to WANE.com,
According to the Mercer County Sheriff's Department, the truck was stuck on Tama Road, between Stose Road and US 127. The driver of the vehicle, 57-year-old Dennis Bollenbacher, said the water had filled his truck up to the steering wheel.

So, Dennis, WHY then did you drive INTO it?  But the story goes on:

Bollenbacher said he would not leave the truck until it was towed.  Police told him he would be arrested if he returned to retrieve the truck before the water receded. 
“There was no reason to risk a tow operator in the water, it was bad enough that firemen had to be put at risk. We continually warn people not to drive through high water on the roadways, it is very frustrating. Thankfully, no one was injured," Sheriff Jeff Grey said.

ITEM: Next up, how about this thing with South Sudan?  It wasn't a year ago that the international community celebrated the willingness of The Sudan to allow this breakaway area independence.  Peace was forged in the wake of ethnic strife.  Or was it?  Now, supposed ethnic strife has broken out again between the tribe of the President and the tribe of the recently-fired Vice-President.  So, just how much dividing of the area is needed to bring peace?

For those of you that are historically challenged, look up "Austria-Hungary".

ITEM:         

Meet former USAF Major General Michael Carey.  The "former" part is that this dude, in charge of the USAF nuclear weapons codes, spent a tour of duty in Russia getting drunk, loudly telling tavern goers he saves the world every day, and hanging out with some very questionable ladies... two nights in a row.  When he was tried for the allegations, he became "flippant", and either conveniently or alcoholically forgot "substantial portions" of what had happened... although one thing he did they got on tape:

At a Russian-hosted lunch banquet on the first day of the nuclear security exercise, Carey gave a toast that included unspecified comments about Edward Snowden, the National Security Agency leaker who was in Russia at the time but had not yet been granted asylum. Moscow refused U.S. requests that he be returned to the U.S. The report said Carey's remarks were "not well received" by his Russian hosts.
My thanks for this story to the Moscow Times.  Also for this one:

ITEM:  Vladmir Putin has signed a new law to combat Russia's version of the illegal immigrant problem.  You see, over there, they make immigrants register in the city in which they are staying.  But, what actually happens...

The bill approved by Putin on Monday is part of a fight on so-called "rubber apartments," a term that refers either to apartments in which up to thousands of people are registered but do not live, or to dilapidated buildings that house large numbers of migrant workers in often unhygienic and overcrowded environments.

Migrant workers — like nearly all people on Russian territory — are required to register with local authorities in their city of residence.
In 2011, authorities identified 6,400 of these "rubber apartments," at which more than 300,000 people were registered, according to Interfax. These figures place an average of 46 people at a same address.

Which I find funny, because in the US of A, we try to ignore the laws requiring legalization (our version of registrations) and the illegals DO live 46 to a building!

ITEM: From The Local, "France's news in English", comes a list of the ten best French gifts to give at Christmas.  Here are some of the highlights:

-"SPORTS CALENDAR. Calendars always go down well at Christmas so if you are looking for something French for your sister, mum or grandmother then look no further than Les Dieux du Stade 2014, which features various French rugby and football stars in semi-naked poses. It is guaranteed to keep your mother-in-law quiet on Christmas day. The annual calendar is available at Amazon and if you don't like calendars, the players also come in the form of fridge magnets".  If you think I'm putting this picture on MY blog, "she don't know me very well, do she?"  But if you want an eyeful, click here.  I believe this will take you right to picture #8:if not, seek and you shall find.

- How about Eiffel Tower vibrators?

The company making them promises a "monumental sensation".  Could I make this stuff up?

- SCENTED UNDERPANTS. With micro-capsules of perfume embedded in their cotton fabric, these briefs release the sweet-smelling odour of musk and pear as soon as you start to sweat. Invented by the French company “Le Slip Francais”, these men's briefs are priced at €35(about $48), while a pair of scented boxers are slightly more expensive at €40 (about $55). They’re available to buy online and in a number of high street boutiques.

- Well, this one you gotta see:

Sugar coated crickets on chocolate.  YUM!


ITEM:  Then there's the article on the Japan Times site about the most memorable quotes of the year.  Among the highlights:

- Japanese officials advising the US military to have their men patronize the many legal "sex service businesses" (AKA whorehouses), a sentiment backed up by one Tobonobu Togasaki, manager of all-girl pop band AKB48:

 “The women are sex workers,” said Togasaki, who is married, when asked about whether he was engaging in affairs. “They are not amateurs. Is that adultery?”

Hmm... not adultery if done by a professional.  Like to get Phil Robertson's take on that one.


- In October, an elementary school principal within the Osaka Board of Education denied charges of sexual harassment by claiming he was emulating a British spy.
“These were actions like 007,” Yoshida wrote in a letter to the board. “To get information from female spies, I showed them affection.” He resigned later that month.

I'm not seducing women; I'm fact-finding.  Bill Clinton should have tried that one.

-In May, Hideaki Ueda, Japan’s envoy to the United Nations on human rights issues, told members of the U.N. Committee Against Torture in Geneva to “Shut up!” Ueda was responding to laughter heard within the committee after he had defended Japan’s judicial system. He resigned from his post in September.

From the article..

ITEM:  Somebody posted an article the other day on Facebook called "The 25 most flawless answers to wrong number texts".  Here's some of my favorites: