World War I this week

This week, I start out with a story I heard on one of the WWI documentaries I've been watching to bone up for these posts.  The story was about "Operational Plan Three"- A plan the German military had worked up for attacking the US of A.  What surprised me is not only that this plan wasn't the ONLY one- and not that it came about BEFORE the Great War- but how FAR before the war the were formulated.

Apparently Willie (AKA Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany) was jealous of the riches of the American brand of capitalism, and bothered that we were increasingly becoming a fly in the ointment of his plans for colonial expansion.  Germany was already trying to spread its influence in the Pacific, and was looking into challenging the Monroe Doctrine in the Caribbean.  And in 1897, he was looking at Germany replacing Spain in the Caribbean- and knew that American was also awaiting the chance.

Which meant Willie was looking for a way to take Cuba, or Puerto Rico, or both, before we did.  He assigned Navy Lt. Eberhard von Mantey to formulate a plan. The 28 year old junior officer was under the tutelage of Admiral von Tirpitz, and what they came up with was eventually called the Tirpitz Plan.  It called for drawing out the US Navy in a major engagement, and upon defeating them, to lay waste the Naval shipyards at Norfolk, Newport News, and Hampton Roads.  Then they would blockade America into acquiescing to German acquisition of the Caribbean islands.  Unfortunately for Willie, long before they had the long range capability to make it a reality, the Spanish American War broke out.  The Caribbean for all intents became an American lake, and the only action between the two was a German flotilla in Manilla Bay that annoyed our navy just enough to make us fire some warning salvos.

In March of 1899, Willie had von Mantey re-devise.  Plan two once again stared with "a major naval battle which Germany wins", but then became a two pronged LAND invasion with 100,000 German troops landing at sites on Cape Cod  to take Boston, and (of all places) Sandy Hook, NJ to attack New York City.  Three problems came up with this plan.  By December 1900, Willie had been convinced that the German Navy could win the battle, but needed a base in, say, Cuba.  Which meant they would have to add another stop to the tour.  Second, there wasn't enough shipping under control of the German Navy to GET 100,000 troops to America.  And third, the famous General von Schleiffen told Willie that while 100,000 troops would be enough to take Boston, it was far too few to take a city of 3,000,000 like NYC- a population that only London, Paris, and Berlin approached in the Europe of 1900.


In mid 1901 a Army Captain named Charles Train issued a report on the military vulnerabilities of the Cape Cod area, and the results of which told von Schlieffen that the plans they had needed to be re-worked.  This time, von Tirpitz turned to Staff Officer Wilhelm Buchsel to work on it.  By November 1903, Buchsel came up with a naval-bombardment- heavy plan that required establishing a naval base in Puerto Rico.  But the two conditions they felt necessary to make any plan work- lack of war or threat of war in Europe, and America's unpreparedness, were fast becoming fading dreams by then.  A crisis in debt-strapped Venezuela almost led to a naval war between the US and Germany in 1903 (which I may touch on in a later episode), and taught the Germans that the US was ready to block any aggressive move in the hemisphere with iron.  As the shipping required for the plan still didn't exist (and never would), the Entente Cordiale was established in 1904, and the British launched their first dreadnaught in 1906, the whole thing was scrapped.

Back to this week, one hundred years ago, where we look at twin developments that began on the 12th.

Ferdie, you just need to use a little finesse, like I do...

The first was a visit by Willie to Austrian heir apparent Franz Ferdinand at FF's hunting lodge at Konopischt.  Austria had really kicked the Balkan hornet's nest with the Bosnian annexation of 1908, and Willie knew Austria needed an ally in the region to settle things down.  The logical candidate was Romania- but they were annoyed by Hungarian treatment of the Romanians in their half of the Dual Empire.  FF hoped Willie could help him convince Hungarian Prime Minister Count Tisza to "take a more enlightened approach" with the Romanians.  For two days FF told Willie that the Hungarians were unreasonable, and could he help; and Willie replied that the Hungarians were reasonably reasonable and he should work with them.  Willie left on Saturday the 13th, and Austrian Foreign Minister Leon Berchtold showed up on Sunday the 14th.  FF set him to the task of figuring a new paradigm, since it didn't seem like Romania and they would clear things up anytime soon.

Berchtold conferred with an under-official named Franz von Matscheko, and Matscheko reasoned that with the Romanian door shut, Bulgaria was the only other candidate.  He worked on the idea, finishing a memorandum on the 24th.  Bulgaria held a lot of advantages; but after just being burned by their Balkan allies in 1913, they were in a real "what's in it for me" mode.  The Austrians were too cash-strapped to pump enough payola to Sofia to turn their heads; it would be up to the Kaiser to "woo them with money."  The memorandum was floated to the Kaiser, and another copy was to go to FF; but it sat on his desk unread as he had already left for his fateful trip to Sarajevo by then.


The other development was the opening salvo of what would be a repeating pattern of massacres by Ottoman Turkey against her Christian population.  A Monsieur Manciet and some French buddies were on site at the Smyrna suburb of Phocea, a city of 80,000 Christians (mostly Greeks) and 400 Turks, when "bands of bandits" hit the city on a mission of looting, rape, and murder that wiped the city off the map.  The Frenchmen managed to get some people to Smyrna for transport to the Greek island of Lesbos, but many more were butchered by the Turks, who tried to cover their tracks by letting the "bandits" have their way the first day, then send in troops from Smyrna to "save the day"- which consisted of committing greater atrocities than the bandits.  I've always found it funny that German soldiers in Belgium wore "God is with us" patches while killing Belgian priests and allying themselves with a government spat from the bowels of hell.  It doesn't surprise me that the "God that was with them"  allowed them to lose any more than it surprises me that their nation would go on to commit even greater atrocities later.

By their fruits shall you know them...

Okay, okay, here's some pictures...

Last Sunday's walk.

While we rested, that little green guy got on me.

The Goose-ish Navy leaves port.

Chillin under the bridge.

Scrappy in the clover.

Laurie got these shots of Scrappy and Cooper at the bark park.  Guess they had a real bang-up time while I was making sure rich people had covers for their boats.


 

Sunday in the daisies.

Bark park with Brodie, Georgia (way in the back), and the white dog that don't like nobody.

Daddy, I got slobbed!

Yup.  Decided to pee just as I clicked.

Time Machine week 7

It's June the 6th, back in good ol' 1972.  George McGovern has just won the Democratic primary in California to virtually seal the presidential nomination- and David Bowie has just released The Rise And Fall Of Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars.  Coincidence?  Or all part of an evil master plan...

Ziggy and George... separated at birth?

Uh, yeah, welcome back to Time Machine '72, where I have to make up for last week's side jaunt into 1968 by mashing together two weeks worth of fun and useless trivia.  And I will cap it off with not one, but two (or two attempts thereof) of Six degrees!  Welcome to the weeks when our radios first played Procol Harum's Conquistador, Alice Cooper's School's Out, Bobby Vinton's Sealed With A Kiss, Argent's Hold Your Head Up, Harry Nilsson's Coconut, and Donna Fargo's Happiest Girl In The Whole USA (at least on pop stations; it's halfway through its run at the top on the country charts!).


First up, we had a total of ten songs make there first appearance in the top 40 the last two weeks.  Last week, James Brown's There It Is (you can recognize it because it sounds like all the other JB hits), I've Been Lonely For So Long by international one-hit wonder Frederick Knight, Wayne Newton's Daddy Don't You Walk So Fast, Jimmy Castor's Troglodyte (Caveman), Elton John's Rocket Man, and America's I Need You (who pulled off the biggest jump, 21 spots to #32) came into the chart.  This week, the newbies are Nash/Crosby's Immigration Man (up 6 to #38), Cher's Living In A House Divided (up #11 to #33), along with a couple you can listen to.  The lower one doesn't qualify as a "song I first heard because of TM" because I do know it from the ending chorus, but I think you Michael Jackson fans out there won't mind:




I Wanna Be Where You Are climbs 17 to #37 this week.  Now one that I didn't know before this was another of the nicely done covers by David Cassidy, this one coming in at #35 (up 13):




How about that?  Double the videos, too!

One idea I considered was to do a spot on twins in music.  But the Martin Era of 1962-1979, on a cursory examination, yielded only four sets of twins.  I'll let you see if you can pick them off for a little bit, but I'll give you this much of a clue:  One had a #1 near the beginning of the Martin Era, one had a top dog at the end of the Martin Era, and one would have 9 number ones, all within the Martin Era!


This week's You Peaked netted us 5 peakers, all but one of them last week.  Doctor My Eyes topped off at 12, Vincent at 11; Taxi, amazingly enough, let its fare out at #20, and Run Run Run by JoJo Gunne topped off at 31.  Which reminds me of a story I forgot to tell the first time Jay Ferguson's old band got mentioned.  The story I get was that their second lp, Jumping The Gunne, had a disastrous showing mainly because of their choice of cover art.  It was a picture of the band in a bed, with a naked fat lady "jumping " over them.  Tasteful, it was not.

Yeah, I can see this as a selling point...

Returning to propriety, War's Slipping Into Darkness peaked out this week at #12.


Ready for those twins yet?  The last to chart (and technically they didn't make top forty noise until 1980, but had been around long before) are The Whispers (And The Beat Goes On, It's A Love Thing), with twins Wallace and Walter Scott. Makes you wonder what the next kid got named, don't it? The ones with the early #1 are the Shangri-Las, with identical twins Marge and Maryann Ganser, who topped the charts in 1964 with Leader Of The Pack.  The late charting act was Styx, with twins, Chuck and John Panozzo, who didn't top the charts until 1979's sell-out hit Babe. And in-between, with the nine #1s, the Bee Gees with Robin and Maurice being the far-from-identical twins.

The Shangri-Las... and I bet I don't have to tell you Maryann and Marge are in the middle.

And now, let's crash and bash out that top ten!


TEN- The first week, Back Off Boogaloo held that spot for a second week; this week, Ringo drops from 10 to 34, with the Stones' Tumbling Dice (Note:  Not dices.  Dice is already plural.) moving up one to take the spot.

NINE- Last week, Love Unlimited leapt 7 spots to land here with Walking In The Rain With The One I Love.  This week, Commander Cody loses some ground with Hot Rod Lincoln.

EIGHT- Last week, Paul Simon was with Me And Julio Down By number nine.  He drops all the way to 30 this week, and Love Unlimited moves up a notch to take his place.

SEVEN- Hot Rod Lincoln pulled in at its high water mark of 7 last week.  With it falling back, the spot was taken by another newbie, Gallery and Nice To Be With You, which came all the way from #19.

SIX- The Jackson Five moved up 3 last week with Little Bitty Pretty One.  They move on up, and the reigning top dog, I'll Take You There by the Staple Singers, falls to this spot this week.

FIVE- a song that poked around for 8 weeks before going 28 to 15 to 5 is our first six degrees victim.

That meteoric riser is Sammy Davis, Jr, with The Candy Man.  Panned by both the singer ("Too saccharine") and reviewers ("...about the closest music has ever come to being pure excrement"), it was produced by Mike Curb (of the Mike Curb Congregation), who Sammy liked about as much as the song.  Taken from the Willie Wonka movie, Sammy recorded it on his album Sammy Davis, Jr, Now- an lp so bad that the reviewer said that the only song that was even listenable was a cover of MacArthur Park (and having listened to it, all I can say is, I liked Candy Man much better.  And I liked his Hawaii 5-0 theme better.  But given a choice between Sammy Now and Mrs. Miller's Greatest Hits, well....)

Wait... what are you saying?

The # 5 for this week was Little Bitty Pretty One, moving up a notch.

FOUR- The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face slid from 2 to 4 last week, and fell to #13 this week.  Which reminds me, last week's drop outs were Rockin' Robin (5 to 20) and I Gotcha (6 to 24).  The song at #4 this week, climbing 11 spots from #15, is our second six degrees.

Dr. Hook's Sylvia's Mother was a composition by the multi-talented Shel Silverstein (which is actually the second time today I've had his name mentioned, ironically).  In addition to the MANY other things this man achieved, in addition to the other Dr Hook songs he wrote (like Cover Of The Rolling Stone), in addition to writing Loretta Lynn's recent country chart topper One On The Way, he is also the writer of Johnny Cash's smash A Boy Named Sue.  Johnny, amazingly, sang that song in public the first time when he did his At San Quentin lp- in the film, you can see him checking a piece of paper for the words.  Another song that was a first timer for Johnny on the San Quentin lp was the first cut, a song called Wanted Man.  Now this song has a bit of a story, and you can read the whole thing here.  But the gist of it is- he and Bob Dylan were mutual admirers and became good friends, and, well:

Dylan and Cash were huge mutual inspirations, each covering the other's songs accordingly. The first nod came in 1965, when Cash recorded his version of “It Ain't Me, Babe” for his album Orange Blossom Special. Then, following his 1966 motorcycle accident, Dylan and The Band spent a good portion of the next year in Saugerties, NY, recording over 100 tracks for what became The Basement Tapes. Among the cover songs stuffed on the reels, Cash's presence looms large with Dylan doing “Belshazzar,” “Big River” and “Folsom Prison Blues.”


Dylan recorded most of his first all-country record, Nashville Skyline, on February 13-14, 1969 in Nashville. At the wrap-up sessions on February 17-18, Cash—who'd been recording at the studio next door—dropped in to visit, and ended up spending two days there, recording what's become known as the Bob Dylan/Johnny Cash Sessions. The 23 duets the label-mates laid down included everything from Cash's “Big River” to Dylan's “One Too Many Mornings,” along with covers of Jimmie Roger's “Blues Yodel #1,” plus “That's All Right Mama” and “You Are My Sunshine.”
Although this session was a bootlegger's wet dream, few of the songs were strong enough for an official album release. However, the crème of the session, a duet of “Girl from the North Country,” was included as the opening track to Nashville Skyline, which also featured liner notes written by Cash. During his stay in Nashville, Dylan also ended up writing “Wanted Man” for Cash—a song the Man in Black would debut live to a cafeteria full of California inmates a week later at San Quentin penitentiary.


(From "Bob Dylan and Johnny Cash: Two Songwriting Titans Make History "
By Ben Corbett)


THREE- Both weeks, same as the one before- the stalled-out Look What You've Done For Me by All Green.

TWO- Oh, Girl by the Chi-Lites climbed here from #4 last week;  Sammy and Candy Man climb here from #5 this week.


And at number ONE:

Last week, a repeat of I'll Take You There.  And this week......

...the Chi-Lites with Oh, Girl!!!!!



Whooo, we made it!  Are you seeing double yet?  I'll be if I don't get some eye rest here soon.  Catch you next week!

martin world news

Modifications to original design by Bobby G.

ITEM:  Have to start here, with a story my liberal friend (who hasn't responded to me since I tore apart his LAST meme) titled "Lucky Americans Have an Excellent President in Barack Obama."  The whole of the post itself was this:

To which I replied:

Unfortunately, unlucky Americans are also stuck with him. How're you feeling about him turning 5 hardened terrorists loose to get back a traitor and the son of a man that wants to turn ALL the terrorists loose?

Sane and compassionate:  took money from landlords who booted poor people out of tenements in mid-winter as a young lawyer.

He will change American history for the better:  Doing it already.  Can't wait till he starts paying the barbarian tribes to guard the borders in exchange for Roman American citizenship.  Oh, wait...

Only Obama's dim-witted or hate-filled opponents are unlucky:  This is what Obama's lucky sycophants think of "honest debate" and "diversity of opinions".  You agree, or you're stupid.

They are getting a political genius:  Can't argue there.  How else can you get otherwise intelligent people to both swallow and regurgitate such utter bullshit, excuse the graphic description?

Frank Schaeffer:  Here's his wiki story.  I don't believe I shall be reading his works in depth; however, I see here enough to categorize him as Peter did:

But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction. (2 Peter 2:1)

I know I've said I'm through talking politics.  But think of this not as a political discussion, but classic MWN: an exposing of the stupidity of the world.  Moving on...

ITEM:  What happens when you are on safari, looking at gigantic African elephants, and you drop your cell phone?  Well take it from 23-y-o Scott Brierly:  the elephant comes over, picks up the phone...

...and takes a selfie!  The keepers recovered the phone later, and found this on examining it to see if his pictures were still okay.


ITEM:  Speaks for itself:


It’s no longer a crime in Minnesota to carry fruit in an illegally sized container. The state’s telegraph regulations are gone. And it’s now legal to drive a car in neutral — if you can figure out how to do it.
Those were among the 1,175 obsolete, unnecessary and incomprehensible laws that Gov. Mark Dayton and the Legislature repealed this year as part of the governor’s “unsession” initiative. His goal was to make state government work better, faster and smarter….
In addition to getting rid of outdated laws, the project made taxes simpler, cut bureaucratic red tape, speeded up business permits and required state agencies to communicate in plain language.

But can you now go through town with an ice cream cone in your back pocket?  That's what I'd like to know.


ITEM:  Winner, world's most stupid excuse for obesity, courtesy the BBC:

Sleeping in a room with too much light has been linked to an increased risk of piling on the pounds, a study shows.

A team at the Institute of Cancer Research in London found women had larger waistlines if their bedroom was "light enough to see across" at night.

However, they caution there is not enough evidence to advise people to buy thicker curtains or turn off lights.

The study of 113,000 women was published in the American Journal of Epidemiology.

And sponsored by Drapes-R-Us.


ITEM:  The highly-modern state of India has run into a highly primitive problem- the menfolk like to urinate on walls in public places.  And being the highly modern state they are, they thought the answer to that would be to plaster the walls with photos of their many gods, reasoning that no one would risk reincarnation as a latrine by peeing on their god.  This however, did not work out, and one Delhi resident sued to remove the pictures before the gods were further dishonored.  The judge threw out the case, but admitted that not much has or can work to stop the habit:

While disposing of a plea seeking a restraint on putting up images of deities on walls and buildings to prevent men from urinating in public, the HC threw up its hands at the problem stating that it could not insist that every man who walks out of his house is forced to put a "lock on his zip."


Gang rapes, peeing on walls- that Indian vacation is looking better and better, ain't it?  But it shouldn't be taken as an insult to the gods, because other methods haven't stopped the "flood", either:

"...The petitioner has filed photographs showing that residents of buildings and especially Group Housing Complex. The photos reveal that to shame the offender the owners of the complex have written graffiti ridiculing such men by stating that 'Look here a dog and a donkey is peeing.' In spite thereof, a man is seen peeing on the wall," HC said.

Perhaps these people would like to add a Mayan god to their pantheon: The rain god Chac was also known as Ah Hoya, which means "He who urinates".

Yeah, I'm betting they didn't sing songs like Laughter In The Rain, either.


ITEM:  This week, we look at the latest English terms to enter the French lexicon.  According to the list leaked (no relation to the last story) by the two top dictionaries in France, the following English terms are now acceptable:

methamphetamine (oh, lovely.  Now they can report on DeKalb county Indiana in Le Monde.)
hipster
selfie (which means they can get the elephant story!)
pilates
zumba
megavirus
gif
jpeg
hashtag
troll

and two with you especially in mind, Bobby:  Super-hero and comics.

ITEM: If you are tired of your local government (as we are in Ft Wayne) putting something on the budget because of "tax projections" that are wildly inaccurate, disrupted by some excuse real or imagined, or just plain made-up, you are not alone.

The French government faces a 14bn-euro black hole in its public finances after overestimating tax income for the last financial year.

French President Francois Hollande has raised income tax, VAT and corporation tax since he was elected two years ago.

The Court of Auditors said receipts from all three taxes amounted to an extra 16bn euros in 2013.

That was a little more than half the government's forecast of 30bn euros of extra tax income.

The Court of Auditors, which oversees the government's accounts, said the Elysee Palace's forecasts of tax revenue in 2013 were so wildly inaccurate that they cast doubt on its forecasts for this year.

It added the forecasts were overly optimistic and based on inaccurate projections.


Ya think?

ITEM:  More foreign language fun?  How about phrases to use when you're upset in Spain?

You wanna tell someone to "F- off?"  Tell 'em 'Vete a freir espárragos' , or "Go fry some asparagus".
Bugged by an inconsiderate waiter? Tell the Maitre d'  'tiene un morro que se lo pisa' ('he's got such a big snout he he trips over it').
Want someone to "Give me a brake"?  Tell them 'Manda huevos!' which roughly means "Send eggs!"
Based on the word for swatting flies, 'me estás mosqueando' means you’re making me mad, and 'no te mosquees' means 'don't get angry'. Or, to put it in English, "'Quit swatting me!"
It matters three cucumbers to me: Or I couldn't give a cumin! 'Me importa tres pepinos' or 'me importa un comino' are the lighter versions of 'I couldn’t give a damn' in Spanish.


ITEM:  Finally, the shithead has been discovered.  Researchers in Mammoth Cave in southern Indiana have found the PC fish:  It has its anus actually in its head.

The Hoosier Cavefish is the first new species discovered in 40 years.  Why it developed a colon it can blow with a sneeze is unknown, but it is certain that it will get the nickname of the Politician fish.

The strange story of my phone

If you have been here long enough to know the story of the ball that escaped the kitchen of no escape, or the lens from my glasses that hid until ten minutes after I was notified the new ones were ready, this story might not surprise you.  For the rest, cue Rod Serling.


Consider Christopher Martin, an ordinary man about to take a nap.  He knows he must take his phone with him (as well as his dog and two babybel cheeses), because he is expecting an important phone call.  After pretending for two years that a mattress pad was really making a difference to the springs that poked him every night, he has ordered a new mattress and box spring.  Tonight, the call for the appointment time was coming.  So up the stairs he went, setting down the cheeses on the hall table and turning into the bathroom for a quick stop... into the Twilight Zone...

His story:  He returned from the bathroom, taking the cheeses in one hand.  He closes the door behind him and his faithful canine companion.  He approaches the bed, reaches into his pocket for the phone... and it is GONE.  Back out the door, he calls to his faithful female companion, "Is my phone down there?"  The answer is negative, and he rushes downstairs.  He had it in his pocket as late as when he was seated in his car to come home from work less than an hour before.  "Laurie, call my phone."  She does... not a sound.  He runs out to the car, opens the door, finds nothing.

A million thoughts race through his brain.  Telling each in turn to STHU, he asks Laurie to call work, set them on the search in case his memory is bad and he never had it in the car.  He decides to have Laurie call the phone again, thinking to search the car and the yard.  HE GRABS THE WRONG KEYS.  Turning back in, Laurie's phone connects, and it rings. 

AND THEY HEAR HIS PHONE THIS TIME.

His phone is loud enough that downstairs it can wake him from a light sleep upstairs.  It did not make a sound the first time, but now it does.  And he follows that sound to a spot on his bedroom booktable- right where he had intended to set it all along.

How did it get there?  He might have set it there himself... but that would have involved him setting it down, forgetting about it, taking one step back and fishing in his pocket for it a second time- IN THE SPACE OF ABOUT FIVE SECONDS.

Had he never had the phone with him?  He looks at his dog's picture on the wallpaper three or four times a day.  And even if he hadn't, he never leaves it in his bedroom.  Always downstairs near the computer screen.

And what about hearing one ring and not another?  Laurie speculated that she has had minor problems with her phone lately, and it might not have rang through.  Not only would that be a string of at least three convergent coincidences, his phone shows TWO missed calls from Laurie during the search.

Did a loving and merciful God know his plight, and send an angel to set it in the exact place he wanted it?  Far fetched, perhaps.  Read the story here about how a rubber ball made an almost impossible turn, hopping just right to be able to hide behind a refrigerator that you couldn't have gotten it behind in a thousand purposeful tries... or here for the story of the missing lens that showed up two minutes after the call form the eye doctor that new glasses are ready.  This place is MADE of far-fetched.  Is it any more far fetched than 5 seconds out of a life being so completely erased that I sat it there myself and cannot recall?

You decide.  Angel, household spirit... or just a madman's brief detour... into the Twilight Zone.

World War One this week.

My look this week focuses on two trains of thought- one at the target date and going forward, one from the target date backwards.

Our backwards look begins on June 1st, 1914, when President Woodrow Wilson's special envoy, confidante, cook, and bottle-washer Col. Edward House met with the Kaiser .  This conversation, according to House's diary, came from two different perspectives- and the German one sounds sadly familiar.  Wilhelm told House that the Anglo-Saxon nations- e.g. Britain, Germany, and the US of A- were "natural allies" as the "best examples of Christian civilization" against the "semi-barbarous" Latin and Slavic nations such as France and Russia.  Further, Willie posited that all European races should be united "against the Oriental races."

Before I touch on those bon mots, let me go on to say that House turned the conversation to a more political dynamic, explaining that Willie wouldn't need to worry about a Russo-English alliance if he'd lay off the naval competition, and brought up the concept of letting the US work as a moderator for Anglo-German talks on the subject.

When House wrote his boss about the conversation on June 3rd, he theorized that the big problem was that Britain and Germany DID have one thing in common- fear of each other.  He also told Wilson he'd extracted a promise from Willie to be open to his proposed conference between them and Britain.

I tried to get a shot of Col. House and the Kaiser together... but Google kept giving me Hogan and Col. Klinck.

Now, what brought up the Oriental thing?  Well, Germany HAD had good relations with both Japan and China- until Willie took charge.  Then they became an aggressive colonial player in China, pissing off both nations.  They grated the Japanese even more by lending moral support to their "enemy" Russia in the Russo-Japanese War of 1904-5.  The Chinese relation with Germany degraded even further during the Boxer Rebellion, when German ambassador Clemens von Ketteler, in dealing with Chinese Christians, the Boxers, the Manchu Bannermen who formed the core of Actual Chinese power, and the Muslim "Kansu Braves", managed to anger all groups.  His brutal beating of a Chinese youth "for apparently no reason", touched off a slew of riots that led to Manchu leader En Hai defeating the German garrison in Peking, targeting and killing him specifically for the beating.  Then the leader of the Kansu Braves allegedly had him skinned, and ate his heart.




Ketteler's last stand.

Of course, von Ketteler wasn't the only one enraging the Chinese; in sending off the German contingent to the Allied Army that tackled the Boxers, Willie made a fairly racist remark comparing the Chinese to the Huns who ravaged Europe in ages past.  Ironic, really, when you consider that the Germans themselves were "The Hun" the Allies were fighting in western propaganda.



Our second string of thought concerns our assassins.  Princep, Trisko Grabez, and Nedjelko Cabrinovic, had crossed into Austrian territory on June 1st.  The former two came separately from Ned, whom Princep got mad at for his cavalier attitude towards plot security.  They reunited in Tuzla on the 3rd, where by odd happenstance, they shared a train to Sarajevo with Sarajevo Police Detective Ivan Vila- who was a friend of Cabrinovic's dad, who was also a SPD official.  It was from him they learned of the date of Franz Ferdinand's visit- June 28th.  They split up at Sarajevo and cooled their heels until the big day.

Now, who did what here?  Well, if you remember your history (or if not, you heard it here first!), Princep fired the shots, Cabrinovic threw the bomb that started things, and one other guy chickened out, leaving 4 of the seven total conspirators with nothing to do.  Princep bit his cyanide pill when captured, but all it did was make him barf.  Grabez was picked off by the cops, and Cabrinovic had probably the most botched suicide attempt in history.  Biting his pill, but not willing to make sure it would work, he dove into the river Miljaka, hoping to drown.  Unfortunately, the river Miljaka wasn't exactly at flood stage- exactly, it was 4 inches deep- and after he barfed as well, he was taken away.



This is where Cabrinovic dove splashed tried to puddle himself to death.

They escaped execution because of the Austrian law that prevented youths under 20 years old from being executed.  Princep missed by 27 days; Grabez would turn 20 in October; and Cabrinovic just turned 19 in February.  They each were sentenced to 20 years in prison, but didn't live to serve but a fraction.  All three died of TB- Princep in the spring of 1918, the other two nine months apart in 1916.  Thus, none of them outlived the war.

Finally, as many wars, this one would be caused by a cavalcade of misunderstanding.  June 5th was a case in point.  Fearing the connection between the Serbian government and military and the Black Hand terrorist group being completely exposed by the assassination attempt, Prime Minister Pasic decided a message had to be gotten to the Austrians on the sly.  He assigned the job to Serbia's minister to Austria, Jovan Jovanovic.  Not an easy task for Joe, since he was a known Pan-Serb and thus persona non grata with most of the Austrian government.  Except, apparently, for Finance Minister Dr Leon von Bilinski.  Joe told Leon to the effect of, "It might not be such a good idea for FF to go to Sarajevo.  You know that's a big holiday for us, and some young Serb might fire live round in the air instead of a blank."  Leon was a straight talker- which means he had no idea that that was diplospeak for, "There might be an assassination attempt."  So he blew it off with a smile and a, "Well, let's hope nothing happens."  Joe knew he didn't get it, but shrugged and said, "well, I did MY job."

I wonder if Joe was trying to tell me something...

Sunday Message: Decompression epilogue

So as I climbed out of the morass of my meltdown last week, God decided to show me myself in a mirror:  in Job chapter 10.  One of the things I had been doing (if you've read previous Sunday Messages, you know this), is adding my "misery"- my stress- on to the misery of all people and all time and thus questioning just what God's motivations were.  Kind of like this:

Job 10:1 My soul is weary of my life; I will leave my complaint on my self; I will speak in the bitterness of my soul.
Job 10:2 I will say to God, Do not condemn me; make me know why You contend with me.
Job 10:3 Is it good to You that You should press down, that You should despise the work of Your hands, and shine on the counsel of the wicked?
Job 10:4 Have You eyes of flesh? Or do You see as a man sees?
Job 10:5 Are Your days like the days of man? Are Your years like man's days,
Job 10:6 that You seek out my iniquity, and search for my sin?
Job 10:7 You know that I am not wicked; and there is none who can deliver out of Your hand.



Make me know why you contend with me.  I am trying my best, I am trying to change how I act, towards others and towards you, and still crap happens.  Why do you let things happen to me, while people that could care less about you get of Scot free?  Yep, said all that.  But the kicker is that last verse.  Instead of coming humbly and asking God to take my part, I was saying, like Job, "You said You would take it on for me, so TAKE IT!"  Implying, as Job was without realizing, that God was somehow in the wrong for not helping.

Sound familiar?

The next few verses are a really neat description of the process of my own creation- which would seem out of place save for the last verse:

Job 10:8 Your hands have made me and shaped me, together all around; yet You destroy me.
Job 10:9 Remember, I beseech You, that You have formed me as the clay; and will You bring me into the dust again?
Job 10:10 Have You not poured me out like milk, and curdled me like cheese?
Job 10:11 You have clothed me with skin and flesh, and have fenced me with bones and sinews.
Job 10:12 You have granted me life and favor, and Your providence has preserved my spirit.
You granted me life AND favor.  Your providence has PRESERVED my spirit.   Nice bit of self-condemnation there, huh?  Here I am whining out of one side of my mouth about what You HAVEN'T done (allegedly) and recognizing the things You HAVE done (and I wasn't currently appreciating) out of the other.


But wait, the whining escalates:

Job 10:13 And these have You hidden in Your heart; I know that this was with You.
Job 10:14 If I sin, then You mark me, and You will not acquit me from my iniquity.
Job 10:15 If I am wicked, woe to me; and if I am righteous, I will not lift up my head, being filled with shame, and looking on my affliction.
Job 10:16 For it increases! You hunt me as a fierce lion; and again You show Yourself marvelous on me.
Job 10:17 You renew Your witnesses against me, and increase Your anger on me; changes and warfare are against me. My Bible translates, " and looking on my affliction" as "see my misery!"  So let's look at Job's misery.  He had went from being the richest, most blessed man in the world at the time to poor, alone, and sickly- AKA much like the rest of the world.  The tragedy of his fall is magnified only because he had so far to fall.  Much like me. I realized even as I whined I was in a much better place than many people, probably most people; on top of that, I was without Job's excuse, because I was in a better, more prosperous state that I had ever been.


NOTE: Pay attention- the next paragraph is the important part.

So what was my affliction?  I think I figured it out finally yesterday.  Instead of taking each stress, each little event as it came, saying "I can do something about this" and doing it or "I can't do anything about it",  and letting it go, I just kept adding them up.  I wasn't letting anything go, I was keeping score.  Just like Job, who COULD HAVE went to God, to a doctor, or just back to work, I sat in a pile of ash of my own making and told everyone (Actually the audience of one- me) that I couldn't help myself.


So, what then happened was my attitude and outlook began to reflect the "view from the pile", just as it did with Job:

Job 10:18 Why then have You brought me from the womb? Oh that I had given up the spirit, and no eye had seen me!
Job 10:19 I should have been as though I had not been; I would have been carried from the womb to the grave.
Job 10:20 Are not my days few? Cease then, and let me alone, that I may take comfort a little,
Job 10:21 before I go, and I shall not return, even to the land of darkness and the shadow of death;
Job 10:22 a land of obscurity, the darkness of the shadow of death, without any order, and the shining is as darkness. Cease, then, and let me have a little comfort.  Get off my case!  I wasn't asking God to take up my burden; this is what He was hearing.  So, as I wanted to act so much LIKE Job, He decided to treat me like Job.

Here is what misery tastes like, son. 

Of course, He was a little more vocal with Job when He got to him:

Job 40:6 And Jehovah answered Job out of the tempest, and said,
Job 40:7 Now gird up your loins like a man. I will question you, and you teach Me.
Job 40:8 Will you also set aside My judgment? Will you condemn Me so that you may be justified?
Job 40:9 And have you an arm like God? Or can you thunder with a voice like His?
Job 40:10 Adorn yourself now with majesty and grandeur, and with glory and honor clothe yourself.
Job 40:11 Pour forth the rage of your wrath; and behold everyone who is proud, and abase him.
Job 40:12 Look on everyone who is proud, and bring him low; and tread down the wicked in their place.
Job 40:13 Hide them in the dust together; and bind their faces in darkness.
Job 40:14 Then I also will confess to you that your own right hand can save you. When you can do it yourself, THEN I will tell you, you can do it yourself.  God is in charge for a reason.  I had been coming to Him with a lot of, "I don't understand this," as if it was His job to make it make sense to me.  What he was waiting for from me was what Job finally understood:

Job 42:1 And Job answered Jehovah and said,
Job 42:2 I know that You can do all, and not any purpose is withheld from You.
Job 42:3 Who is he who hides counsel without knowledge? Therefore I have spoken what I did not understand; things too wonderful for me; yea, I did not know.
Job 42:4 Hear, I beseech You, and I will speak; I will ask You, and You will cause me to know.
Job 42:5 I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear; but now my eye has seen You.
Job 42:6 Therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes. I was speaking what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me; yep, I just didn't know.  Next time, instead of shouting "I don't get it," hopefully, I will try, "Lord, I have a question."

One at a time, not keeping score.

And the funny thing?  Job may have gotten to this point on his own, had he not "friends" that kept telling him, "God wouldn't do this to you if you hadn't committed some sin"; that was what caused his fight with God.  For me, it was the constant burying of myself in all the little things I wouldn't let go of.  It wasn't until Wednesday and Thursday that I realized how deep I had buried myself.

Wednesday, I was working away when a random song came into my head (Jefferson Starship's Rock And Roll Music, if you are curious).  This is a common occurrence for me... but it hadn't happened in almost a week.  And Thursday, the little wise guy in the back of my head, who makes me laugh when others wonder, "What's up with him?", told a joke.  For the first time in 2 weeks.  I was normal again.

Abridged version of this whole thing is, then, that Job and I questioned God with blame on our minds, for situations that were only made severe by our own attitudes about them.  Moral of the story, quit keeping score.  Throw out the ashes.