What is it about nice people that attract total idiots?Nice people are martyrs. Idiots are evangelists.

SOCK IT TO ME BABY!!!

Friday, February 10, 2017

Time Machine co-ordinates VVII41521063



Today we land in February 10th of 1963; I'm still wearing diapers, but not Bobby Kennedy.  After his brother the President suggested the Marines go back to the Teddy Roosevelt standard of hiking 50 miles in 3 days, Bobby did it in 17 HOURS and 50 minutes.  Not to be outdone, the Beatles struck in another way the next day.  After their first two UK singles, Please Please Me/ Ask Me Why and Love Me Do/ PS I Love You hit the British charts, George Martin needed another ten songs to fill out their first lp- and they got them, from 10 that morning to 10:45 that night- 12 hours, 45 minutes for ten songs, in what was called later the 585 most productive minutes in music history.  Among the songs recorded that day were I Saw Her Standing There, Do You Want To Know A Secret, and Twist And Shout.  But that's tomorrow, and today...

Well today it's time for Time Machine, and this round we see yet another of my famous "anomalous records" on the M10; a heartbreaking lead-in to the 6D; a quick game of "love that instrumental"; and the odd case of the missing station!  Ask not what you can do for Time Machine, but read on for what TM can do for you!

Hey!  That sounds like something Jack would say...

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First up, the M10's one new kid.  Some of you might remember the 70's Canadian act Lighthouse (One Fine Morning), I know I sure do!  So when Spotify suggested I listen to a new song by Lighthouse, I did, and then looked to see if it was the same band.  Despite being stuck in the same place by Spotify, they are not; nor are they the Christian band I tumbled across on Facebook.  No, they are a rock band from the UK and their new single beat out 3 other "let me in, just for a week, please" songs to nab the #9 spot.  UNfortunately, they are so new the do NOT have even an audio track up, and they don't even have it on their soundcloud account yet!  So I will share it with you when it becomes available in the wider world.  The song is called Loaded, and while you can find Lighthouse- Loaded on YouTube, it is a DIFFERENT Lighthouse (possibly the originals) and a DIFFERENT Loaded!  But since I can hear it, I charted it, so there!


________________________________________

So in addition to a missing song, I also have a missing station on the Panel!  You see 43 stations voted- but there was a 44th station.  That station was WYDE out of Birmingham AL.  They had a Top 30- but with the following caveat:

To present a more accurate survey, the following songs are listed in ALPHABETICAL ORDER (caps mine).

So how does listing them alphabetically- with no numbering- make it "more accurate?"  And while you're puzzling that one out, chew on this- NONE of their 30 songs were among the 10 songs that got votes this week!  I would have to say that the LAST thing their survey was, was accurate!

But anyway, let's move on to the stations that played fair, and look at who THEY voted for!  For that, let me bring in one of our five co-Presidents this week, Marlon Jackson!



Man, this is some honky crap, I don't know None of these songs!

Well, you were just 6 years old at the time...  So just read the list off.  You'll be okay.

Whatever, man... Lessee...

Okay, the first song is All I Have To Do Is Dream by... hey, wait a minute!  This says by Richard Chamberlain!  Even I know the Emory Brothers did that!

Um, you mean the Everly Brothers, and yes they had a big hit with it.  But Richard Chamberlain covered it and was at #102 this week on Cashbox.

102?  How did he even get on here?

Well, it was just starting out, kinda like you.  Let's move on.

Aight.  Next is Hey Paula by Paul and Paula.. huh?  It was at #1 on CB, so I bet ya know where I'm putting MY money!

Then comes The Night Has 1,000 Eyes by Bobby Vee, which was at #6.

And then Pipeline by the Chantays, which... doesn't even come onto the Cashbox charts until next month?  Man, this is some crap...

Then comes Rythm Of The Rain by the Cascades, which is at #11...
and Ruby Baby by Dion, which was #3...
and Surfside by the Denvermen... who is that?  "A Sydney-based band from 1961-65?"  Really?  I am DONE here, dude!

Um, while I pick up the pieces of this story, here's contestant one in "Pick the best instrumental" this week- Australia's the Denvermen:





Okay I think our President just resigned, so let me finish off the group.  The Four Seasons have the next contestant with Walk Like A Man, which was CBs #5.

The Rooftop Singers with Walk Right In, they were at #2 this week.

And finally Bobby Darin with You're The Reason I'm Living, which was back at #21.

Now to shrink the field for you (and maybe remind you just WHO they were, I'll cut out the single vote contestants.  That gives us a 4-song race between Paul and Paula, the Cascades, the Four Seasons, and the Rooftop Singers.  I'll give you a little more help a bit later.


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Before I go to the 6D, let me throw in our second instrumental contestant, and on the way do our UK list.  The highest UK song on the US charts was Del Shannon's Little Town Flirt, which was 7 there and 16 here.  The highest here that charted there this week was Presidential hopeful Walk Right In, which was of course #2 here, while #21 there.  And their #1 was an instrumental from two members of Cliff Richard's fragmenting band, the Shadows- Jet Harris and Tony Meehan:






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This is Barbara Jane Harrison, Jane to her friends.  She received a posthumous George Cross for her heroism during a plane crash on April 8th, 1968, just moments after takeoff from Heathrow in London.  She worked the back escape door, even after the slide had melted from the flames; and when it seemed everyone was off that could be gotten, and she had the chance to jump- she turned back inside to help a severely disabled woman and two other people.  Seconds later, the remains of the plane were rocked by explosions, and she was never seen alive again.


During that same crash, a UK singer by the name of Mark Wynter had escaped, and was noted for helping a dazed young lady to get away from the plane.  Because of their actions, only five people died that day- Jane and those last people she was helping.

And what does this have to do with the 6D?  Well, Wynter had the UK hit version of the song (#6 in '62) that charted the highest without getting a Panel vote- Steve Lawrence's Go Away Little Girl, which was this week's #4.


_______________________________________________________

So the Presidential race this week was close for quite a while and all of the remaining four had more than 11% of the vote.  But in the interests of helping y'all out, I'll tip you this: the top 2 were 1-2 on Cashbox this week.  So if you voted for the Four Seasons or the Cascades, better luck next time.


______________________________________________

That brings us swiftly to the M10!

Grace Mitchell holds at 10 with Kids (Ain't All Right).

As you saw but didn't hear, Lighthouse debuts at #9 with Loaded.

Black Joe Lewis slips to #8 with PTP in his 8th week- which brought me up an interesting question.  That's a LOT of weeks for a song that stopped at #3- but is it the most?  While 4 songs that topped out at 3 managed 7 weeks on the M10, only one other tune did it for 8 weeks- the Shakes with Tranquilize, which actually was at #3 twice during its run.

Gimme Shelter slides 2 spots to #7 this time.

Castlecomer moves up to #6, up a pair, with If I Could Be Like You.  Likewise, Colony House moves a pair to #5 with You And I.

Sweet still has a shot at that most weeks for a #3 title- they peaked last time, and drop one to #4 with Peppermint Twist in week #5.

The Orwells take Black Frankie up one more spot to #3.

Holding at #2 is POWERS with Dance for a second week.

And your #1s?  M10 says...




...Foxygen for a second week with Follow The Leader!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


And our new Presidents, with 37.2% of the vote...



...Ray Hildebrand and Jill Jackson, AKA Paul and Paula!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


The fickle finger of fate sends us to 1979 next time!  See you then!

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

The more things change...

This is kind of an extension to the "personal life" section of my last post- while I would say I am far, far from disaster mode, the wonderful set of coincidental stupidity just keeps coming.  First, for those of you not Indiana bound, we have gone from two nice if rainy afternoons in the 50s and 60s (or 10s to 15s if you do the C thing) to coming out to my car after work and spending three or four minutes brushing SNOW off my car.

Add in the continuation of "reset hell" on my cutter at work.  A brief look at statistics will tell the tale.  This year so far, I had been averaging over 260 panels cut a day.  Monday and Tuesday I averaged 137, and got 193 today.  To put it another way, my stupid machine reset 30 times today- once for every 6.4 panels I cut.  Best estimate, I've lost a rack full of boat covers over the last 3 days.  Solution?  While I have been assured that it is "in the works" and is being given its due priority, as far as I know, the only progress having been made is an e-mail sent Monday to our Missouri plant (You know? those fine folks that sent us the Haney) that was totally ignored, and re-sent today, with a cc to our plant manager just to scare them.  I know thing go faster with corporate if they know a plant manager is in the loop, looks like it's the only way to get results in Missouri as well.

Mind you, I am not trying to bash the factory I work at, nor the people therein.  But I get a bit frustrated when I hear all the talk at higher levels of "efficiency" and "standardization across the plants", and yet here I sit fighting this machine for the last twenty work hours waiting for someone outside our plant to have the common courtesy to return a frickin' e-mail.


Now, fast forward to dinnertime, in which I nuked a Michelina's Five Cheese Lasagne.  Now, you know I'm not big on doing food reviews.  But... do you remember Clara Peller?




Well, I coulda used Clara when I opened my lasagne and asked...




WHERE'S THE CHEESE?????"

Honest to God, this "five cheese" dish had barely a dusting of something that may have been cheese between two of the five noodles.  So, to combat cheese deprivation (and after firing off an e-mail to Michelina's*), I decided to make some "Chris nachos", which are basically potato chips with sliced mushrooms and a layer of every cheese in the house at the time.

HOWever, someone- I don't think it was me, but can't be sure- bought styrofoam paper plates instead of the FAR superior paper ones, and only a minute and ten secs of microwave time left my "nachos" resting on two large melted holes.  Thanks, Obama!

(* For anyone wanting to write and complain to Michelina's, be sure to use a paper plate (styrofoam will do here) and a magnifying glass, because they will ask for their best-by date and product ID number, both of which are invisibly indented on the bottom of the box in which your cheeseless meal lies.)

So after all of that, I believe I shall just go upstairs and read.  I don't think the house will catch on fire if I don't place the book on the light bulb, and the meteor will have a better chance of getting me by my big bedroom window.

Monday, February 6, 2017

My new plan



I just love meme making, don't you?  Point here being, I think I am over responding to people who run through live with fingers in their ears yelling, "Trump is Hitler!  God is Evil!"  So I have a response that I am going to use from now on.  As a matter of fact, I may make it a semi-monthly award thing for the internet post or media story that goes the farthest against common sense and moral decency.  And I will show you that... in a bit.  But now, onto more pleasant things.

I had to spend a good deal of time today forcing unpleasantness into its proper spot in my mind- the "this is insignificant, move on" box.  And believe it or not, none of it had to do with the Steenkin' Pats winning another Super Bowl.  I have come to accept if other teams don't want to be smart enough to load up on talent nobody else sees (ie Hogan and Mitchell) or wants (ie Amendola and Bennett), then I guess they'd rather the Pats win every year.


Hey Dad... I found Stephen Ross' head...


No, most of it wrapped around a motor in my cutter that is going out and causing the machine to stop at random points from which I have to start over.  Our great maintenance guy (who btw is by no fault of his own not trained on such a machine) was working on it as I tried to make a prototype needed "hot" *.  The cut stopped three times- once when one of us kicked an e-stop by accident- and the last panel had an unmarked but clearly visible flaw and had to be re-cut.  And ten minutes after it was cut, we found that a front office boo-boo gave me the wrong color to cut.


(*Chris' definition of hot, written on my whiteboard:  1- It's only hot if Plant Mgr says it's hot. 2- If PM says too many are hot, they become lukewarm.)

To calm myself down, I relied on a philosophical epiphany I had the other day.  One day we will stand at the judgment seat, and the important things will be judged- and the piffles will be forgotten.  This is a piffle. Move on.


And so I moved on home, where I got an e-mail that my next Doctor's appointment is Wednesday.  Despite it hanging above the computer monitor at eye level for the last 6 months, I forgot all about it.  Kinda gonna make it hard to get that "week before blood work" done.  To say nothing of the colonoscopy appointment I've yet to make.  Needless to say, I called to have it moved back.

And, throw in that as we started doing Laurie's taxes, we discovered that Wal-Mart halved her federal withholding without any reason.  And Wal-Mart being Wal-Mart, the only time you can go in and talk to someone about such an issue is WHEN YOU ARE ON THE CLOCK.




So by the time I get home to see which liberal mental deficiency my FB friends are highlighting today, I found I really didn't want to play anymore.  Let them call a travel suspension that affects 7 Muslim nations out of 50 a Muslim ban.  Let them tell us that it is morally reprehensible to tell a woman that there might be a moral problem with baby murder.  Let them tell me that it is President Trump who is causing the deterioration of respect for what we laughingly call the news media.  The other day, I found the perfect answer to all of them on FB- and it would seem that FB pulled it off the scene, as I couldn't find it there the next day.  But they haven't got it off of YouTube yet... (You have to have the speakers on for this btw)


Sunday, February 5, 2017

Sunday Message: Which chapter are you?

This week, our local Christian talk station finally moved to an FM station I can bring in at work.  And so one day at work I heard a pastor ask a very interesting question.  Paraphrasing as close as I can get:

An interviewer once asked GK Chesterton, if he were stranded on a desert island, what one book he would want to have with him.  Expecting him to say the Bible, he was surprised when Chesterton replied, "Thomas' Practical Guide To Shipbuilding."  And that leads me to a question:  If you could not have a Bible, but only ONE CHAPTER, which one would it be?

Of course the pastor then went through what he thought were the "usual suspects", like John 3 and Romans 8, I Corinthians 13 and Ephesians 2.  But my mind went nearly immediately to the last chapter of Job.  Here's why.

Background:  At this point, after listening to the "three stooges" for the better part of 30 chapters, Job has, in rapid fire, heard Elihu say that Job's problem was that he was trying to give glory to God, but JUSTIFICATION to himself.  And that God has a reason for everything- just not always one we are going to grasp.  Then God enters the picture.  And God gives him both barrels- first, a fairly detailed way of saying, "Who are you to question Me"; and then, after God gives him a chance to answer, and for once he wisely refuses, God asks him whether he believes that his "own right hand can save" him, using the magnificent imagery of the possible dinosaurs Behemoth and Leviathan.  Though they are dull witted beasts, guided by their stomachs and pride, Job could throw an army at one of them and do it no harm; how then, could he do what God cannot?

This is where I often come in.  I glorify God by coming to Him, then waste His time and mine questioning Him on what I cannot possibly understand- BUT THINK I DO.  In the recent post mentioned here and in a previous rant, I was called "higher than thou", in a mixed metaphor by a false friend- but there is a good deal of truth to that. I don't have a problem so much with thinking I'm right as knowing I am, and presenting it thus.  Like Leviathan, I can at times be among the "first of the Children of Pride."  And so, I turn to that 42nd chapter of Job.  It starts with Job's confession:

Job 42:1  And Job answered Jehovah and said: 
Job 42:2  I know that You can do all, and no purpose is withheld from You. 
Job 42:3  (You said,) Who is this hiding counsel without knowledge? So I declared, but did not understand things too wonderful for me; yea, I did not know. 
Job 42:4  I pray, Listen, and I will speak; I will ask You, and You will make me know. 
Job 42:5  I have heard of You by hearing of the ear, but now my eye has seen You; 
Job 42:6  Therefore, I despise myself, and I have repented on dust and ashes. 


First, he gives God the glory.
Second, he admits he doesn't know what God knows.
Third, he realizes that while he has served God all his life, he has not and cannot truly KNOW Him- until now, when he realizes the scope, at least partially, of how much greater God is than himself.
Fourth, he repents of this sin.

But the story doesn't end there.After Job's confession, God then turns to the "stooges", and informs them that He is not mad at Job, but at THEM: "For you have not spoken what is right about Me, AS MY SERVANT JOB HAS."  See, God wasn't mad at Job for what he said, how he questioned God- God expects that from righteous, thoughtful creatures, who cannot grasp how suffering, disease, and evil can be worked into His plan.  With Job, it was all about his attitude.  For the "stooges" however, it wasn't their righteousness but their self-righteousness, believing that Job MUST have fallen, because look at the state he was in- both misrepresenting Job AND God.  He then turns over their repentance and salvation TO Job, "for I will accept him".

The twin lessons we get from this are perhaps the ones I need for myself the most.  Lesson one: God doesn't mind if we don't get it all.  As long as we get the two things He wants, the two things He has requested at least since Abraham:  walk with Him and be Holy.  Lesson two:  We cannot save, we cannot justify, ourselves.  That is for Him, through the power of Christ.

This world has a real problem of man using ignorance to justify himself.  Any tour of a Facebook political post will show you that.  If we want to be right, we have to be right BECAUSE GOD IS RIGHTEOUS.  If we cannot justify ourselves in our ignorance, we cannot justify ourselves in the other guy's ignorance, either.  And THAT is often I lesson I need reminding of.

Friday, February 3, 2017

Time Machine co-ordinates: VVI4142370



So today we land in February 3rd, 1970.  And today... apparently nothing happened.  But yesterday, yesterday... nothing happened, unless you count the groundhog NOT seeing his shadow.  But 100 years ago today, the 15th amendment was ratified, giving the vote to blacks for the first time.  So I'm sure someone was celebrating today.

Anyway, welcome to a history making Time Machine, because this week's election selection gets kicked to the electoral college- and there's some controversy about that!  Also, a rather different 6D, one new M10 debut, and the first appearance on TM of... The Mod Squad!  Not so nothing NOW, is it?  Well, is it...?


___________________________________________________

Let's kick things off with our opening debut on the M10.  This lady was 15 going on 16 when she covered Hall and Oates' Maneater on the 2013 Ben Stiller flick The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty.  She's now 19, and has a new single from her upcoming THIRD EP.  Then, and now, she is- Grace Mitchell.





Grace comes in at #10 this week.

___________________________________________

Our election involved 43 stations and 21 contestants, but in a little while, I'll tell you why it really boiled down to just 2 songs.  Or three.  Or four, depending on how you wanna look at it!  But the contenders for this week's group are:

Mark Lindsay and Arizona, which was #12 on Cashbox this week.
Simon and Garfunkel with Bridge Over Troubled Waters, which just debuted at #67 (minor clue).
The Lemon Pipers and Come Saturday Morning, still stuck in the BU Universe at #108.
The King with Don't Cry Daddy at #6.
Vanity Faire with Early In The Morning (the one with the harpsichord, not the dance hit by the Gap Band years later), #11.
Sly and the Family Stone, with the b-side of their two sided single, Everybody Is A Star, #43.
Bobbie Gentry with Fancy, #35.
Dionne Warwick's I'll Never Fall In Love Again, #10.
Eddie Holman with Hey There Lonely Girl, #17.
The almighty Jackson Five with I Want You Back, the CB runner up.
Rupert Holmes' early band, The Street People, with Jennifer Tompkins, #38.  Rupert will factor into our post later... but is it here?
Wilbert Harrison, best known for his 1959 hit Kansas City, with Let's Work Together, #37.
The greatest band of all time, the Guess Who with No Time, #13.
Original Caste's version of One Tin Soldier, #54.
BJ Thomas' classic Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head, #3 this week.
Brook Benton's Rainy Night In Georgia, #33.
This week's President, Tommy James, with She, the CB #40.

But, with a bullet!  Right?

Actually, no.  You peaked at 19 two weeks ago, and...

Well, thanks for giving that away.  Now, who's gonna vote for me?

Well, seeing's as you only got the one vote, I was about to eliminate you anyway, so...

Man, your President thing sucks!

Yeah, well, you don't get a salary for it, either, so...

Seriously?  Man, I am out of here...

At least stay for the afterparty, there's some sweet cherry wine in the fridge...

Man, that's so very fine...

Ok, anyway, where were we?  Oh, yes.
Sly Stone and the a-side of his single, Thank You Fallettenme Be Mice Elf Again, #4.
Shocking Blue with this week's #1, Venus.
Tom Jones with Without Love, #9.
And finally, Simon Stokes and the Nighthawks with Voodoo Woman, a song that would climb to #90 on Billboard in December, but would crap out at #134 on CB.

Now, to the aforementioned thinning of the herd.  Do not vote for the one-vote wonders from Brook Benton, Elvis, Bobbie Gentry, Sam Stokes, Simon and Garfunkel, Eddie Holman, Wilbert Harrison, Tom Jones, the Lemon Pipers, the Guess Who, Street People, Vanity Faire, our embittered President Tommy James, Original Caste, or Dionne Warwick.  That still leaves you six contenders, and good luck with that!

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Our 6D victim- were I to go that route- would have been the Supremes with their recent #1, Someday We'll Be Together, which sat at #5 on CB this week.  Though I normally favor CB, I wish they split the decades like Billboard did.  You see on BB, this song was, you might say, appropriately, the last song to hit #1 in the sixties, while Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head was the first of the 70's.  And this week, it got me thinking, Chris, you forgot to do the 6D Chris, it might be interesting to see the opening and closing of the OTHER decades!  So, without further ado, let's take a look at the decade openers and closers!  First, on BB:

The fifties:
First #1- Gene Autry, Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer
Last #1- Frankie Avalon, Why?

I can see why Frankie didn't want the '50s to go...

The sixties:
First #1- Marty Robbins, El Paso
Last #1- The Supremes, Someday We'll Be Together

Get a mental image of Marty's Mexican girl saying that to him as he dies...

The seventies:
First #1- BJ Thomas, Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head
Last #1- Rupert Holmes, Escape (The Pina Colada Song)

By the end of the seventies, I was ready to escape, too.  Damn disco!

The Eighties:
First #1- KC and the Sunshine Band, Please Don't Go (followed by another 2 weeks of Escape, which is rather ironic)
Last #1- Phil Collins, Another Day In Paradise

The nineties:
First #1- Another Day In Paradise
Last #1- Smooth by Santana w/Rob Thomas

Rumours on the internet say that Carlos Santana made a deal with the devil- no lie- to get the success from the Supernatural lp.  Which would make being paired with Another Day In Paradise rather amusing.

The double-aughts:
First #1- Smooth
Last #1- Empire State Of Mind, by Jay Z and Alicia Keyes.

All I have for this one is, at least I knew all of them!

CB Booted Rudolph for The Andrews Sisters' I Can Dream Can't I?, moved Frankie up to start the sixties and ended the fifties with Guy Mitchell's Heartaches By The Number; had Someday at the end of the 60's AND the beginning of the seventies; and thereafter agreed with BB until it ran out of gas in 1996.

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There you have the stars of the ABC "hippie-cop" show The Mod Squad.  The lovely young lady in the middle is one Peggy Lipton.  In the middle of the series run, she branched out to a music career, and charted with a couple of Laura Nyro comps.  One was Stoney End, a hit for Barbara Streisand, and the other is our 70 at '70 for this week- a tune simply called Lu.

I was hoping I'd have a BIG story here when I read that both she and Clarence (Link) Williams III were in Twin Peaks, and if Michael Cole had made it... but no, his claim to fame is apparently being the first person to say the word "shit" live on Australian TV.  Oh, well...


__________________________________

And now it is time to thin the herd a little farther, and introduce the spectre of controversy to the mix.  You see, as I went through the votes for this week's President, the race was tight all the way between I Want You Back, and Thank You Fallettenme, etc.  But then a darkhorse appeared in the form of Mariska Veres and Shocking Blue, and just as Sly and the Family slowed down, Venus pulled into a tie with the Jacksons and forced a runoff.

But hang on just a sec.

Thank You etc. was the a-side of a two sided disc, remember?  And that second side, Everybody Is A Star, got 3 votes of its own- enough if added to the a-side to give Sly a two-vote win.  But, since  they were BOTH charting, I divvied the votes to the one mentioned first on the chart- and Sly missed the tie by ONE vote.  That means, Venus and I Want You Back get the run-off election- who gets the most #2 votes!

But before we get to that, the M10.

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So close and yet so far for the Hidden Cameras; they peak at #2 for two weeks, and this week slip to #9.

Castlecomer holds at #8 with If I Could Be Like You.

My major earworm of the week is Colony House's You And I; and thus, a song I wasn't sure would make the ten last week climbs 3 spots to #7 this week.

Black Joe Lewis arrests his fall, holding at 6 with PTP in its week-leading 7th week on the 10.




Gimme Shelter slips from the top, back to #5 from whence it came three weeks ago.

As I told Laurie, my biggest battle this week was who gets #s 3 and 4...

Well, The Orwells and Black Francis move up 3 to #4; Sweet and Peppermint Twist hold at #3.

POWERS power up to #2, up 2, with Dance.  Sorry, Bob!

And the number ones...


M10 says...



Foxygen and Follow The Leader!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I told Laurie that out of thirty-eight number ones in M10 history now, I knew 18 of them would be #1 on first listen.  This is #18.

And the Panel winner, with 16.2% of the original vote, and a 4-3 win in #2s-




The Jackson Five and I Want You Back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Which Jackson will be the President next week? Tune in next week when we probably travel to... 1963!

Thursday, February 2, 2017

Dumb stories

For whatever reason, I don't feel this post really goes under a Newspage Go or MWN format... how about just a collection of stupidity.

First deal- the Saudi ship that got attacked this week near Yemen (yes, one of those wonderful failed states under the "ban").  Now, if you listen to the Houthi rebels who achieved the event, the ship, a Saudi "Al Madina class frigate" (you figure that out), was "destroyed" by an anti-ship missile.  If you listen to the Saudi's, there were no missiles, just three suicide boats.  Two were prematurely suicided by the ship, the third got through, and the ship put out the fire caused by the explosion and went back on patrol.  If you are the US Navy, you are speculating that the suiciders thought they were going after a US ship in the neighborhood.

Now, having seen the video that turned up, shot by yet another "it's an amazing event and I can't possibly figure out how to record a decent video on my phone" cinematographer, I would have to say the Houthi Version was embellished in the extreme, and the ship showed no signs of  real damage.  Which of course makes me give more credence to the US Version, especially since the idiots reportedly were yelling "Death to America!  Death to Israel!" on the way in.  That's the first thing I personally would yell before striking a shipful of Arabs...


Second story- and I won't traumatize you with the video- in China, a family outing to the zoo turned imbecilic when dear ol' Dad and his buddy, unwilling to pay the (in the neighborhood of ) $19 entry fee per head, climbed a nine meter solid fence- and dad jumped in, only to discover it was the tiger exhibit on the other side, and dad was dinner guest du jour.  There is really something about the Far East and tigers; it was just last July when another Chinese adventure included a woman getting out of her car IN A SAFARI PARK to argue with her hubby, and when a tiger came after her, her Mom jumped out to save her and became lunch for three.

Now, I'm not going to speculate on the collective intelligence of a people who can't seem to grasp that wild animals are more dangerous than spending a sawbuck, but it does seem to prove that tigers like Chinese takeout.


Third story- it seems we have a Ft Wayne resident that thinks that freedom of political thought includes hanging President Trump on his front lawn- in effigy, of course.  I would have hoped that there were some corners of the world where intelligence can rise above agenda-driven hatred, but once again I give my fellow man too much credit.  Last night, a FB friend who is accepting of the POTUS but was never a fan got "comment raided" by an imbecile whose most coherent of several similar and mostly profane comments was "Trump idiots."  No idea who he was, why he couldn't grasp he was barking up the wrong tree, and when he was done HE blocked my friend.

Now, I know that there are "wingnuts" on all sides.  But if you want to argue with the flat stupidest people, who wouldn't change their minds if you told them don't walk out in front of that speeding semi, just hint you support Trump, and they'll find you.  On the bright side, their collective stupidity will just end up making those they support look dumber by extension, so troll away.


Fourth story- a woman in Northern Australia called the police to complain that her marijuana dealer jacked up his prices.  After complaining that they should do something about his outrageous prices, the police dutifully asked for a few more details.  At this point, her remaining brain cell fired up and she hung up.  Tell me again, all you states trying to legalize pot, just why we would do that...  I realize some people find this a great remedy for certain pains, but I personally am glad that my "youthful experimentation" (which might be a slight understatement) didn't leave me a liberal, or worse.




Fifth story- a bit of a combination of the last two, IMHO.  Ladies and gentlemen, once again, Whoopi Goldberg.

"We have had a leader who's repeatedly demeaned women, wants to defund organizations that benefit women, calling on the media to shut up, specifically wants to give preferential treatment based on religion, are these values really much different than the Taliban's?" Goldberg asked.



So, when did Trump start prosecuting women for adultery when they report rape?  When did Trump bust into a media outlet killing people?  And when did the Pope get nominated for the cabinet?  It never fails to amaze me how wise hollywooders can sound in TV shows and movies, but then turn off the camera, put aside the character, and they become total morons.  Perhaps the View should join the actors going on strike until Trump is no longer President.


Final story- and the headline reads:

Argentines set world record for most people floating at one time


Now I thought this was another Marijuana story, but apparently they have a lake, Epecuen, that does a pretty good Dead Sea imitation, so in order to break another silly world record, 1,941 people floated hand in hand in it for 30 seconds.  Now to me, how much of a record is it when you are in water so saline you can't sink?  I think they really just set the record for holding hands while lying prone.

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Scrappy... and the ban. But mostly Scrappy.

Today I'd like to lightly address the "Muslim ban" issue.  Just hang on; it'll take up just this one paragraph.  I get that there are a lot of you out there that think it's horrible that we aren't letting them in, that there are people out there who DESERVE a taste of freedom and a place on these shores, and believe that America, and especially our President, is acting in a mean vindictive way.  I would like here to remind you of a few important facts.  Before you think the refugees are the only victims here, go look up what is happening in cities across Europe, google the last two New Years' Eves in Europe.  Understand what it is the "ban" is trying to prevent.  Before you call it a "Muslim ban", consider that of the SEVEN nations (out of 50 Muslim-majority nations) in the ban, only Iran has a stable government that would be able to co-operate in the vetting process;  This ban doesn't even cover all the nations we can prove have terrorists sneaking in here and in Europe, just the ones whose rulers are too divided, or too imbecilic, to help in the vetting.  And before you tell me how all the earth is united against us on this, ask the hypocrites in the EU why 3 million refugees in Turkey, and about 15,000 more on the Greek Islands, not including those already on the mainland facing border fences in Austria, Switzerland, and Hungary, are NOT in THEIR countries.  And while you're at it, Google "why did Britons vote for Brexit" and read the cornucopia of stories that name forced EU immigration and refugee quotas as the top reason by a substantial margin.

See?  That was easy!


And now I'd like to talk about Scrappy.




Scrappy is an old man- figuring he's heading for year 13.  And it shows on him.  Look closely and you can see the mass on his left shoulder.  You've probably noticed his occasionally buggered up right eye. He has at least two lumps on his belly bigger than his (resting) pee-wee.  But that's all cosmetic.

His favorite thing in the world is walks.  Since Peanut was born, we've been keeping track of our walks, and he's rang up just past 95 miles in those 86 days, right around a mile a day.  But he pays for it.  Anything over a mile anymore, and he limps the rest of the day.  His back end doesn't respond like it used to, his back legs give out after resting a while.  Last night, he barely made it up to bed.  In the morning he's fine, and just try to slow him down when the leash is on!  But what a cost.

The other morning, after he had had a fairly normal 2 mile jaunt with me the day before, I told him "to the office and back, and that's it".  I dropped him off after his 7/10ths leg, and it broke my heart when he looked at me when I went out to get the additional exercise I needed.  Last night broke it worse.  2 summers ago, he basically shrugged off a the 5 miles to Shoaff and back.  Now I'll have to drive him there.

I get a lot of my milage at work, going back and forth in front of my machine- about 60 of my almost 178 miles.  And some days, that's all I get, because he just can't make it.  Sometimes I'm happy when it's too cold or wet to go, for his sake.



He is the Clark to my Lewis, the Jim to my Marlin.  A lot of the best things I have seen in life I have seen with him.  I told Laurie the other night, "The things we love the most (for me, Pepsi) are killing us both."  She chuckled a little, and I muttered, "I'm not being even a little funny."  I used to call him "the good morning baby" because on the weekends, he was in my face trying to get me up and going at first full light.  Now, he stays under the covers until I'm dressed most mornings.  Getting old sucks.  It sucks harder when you get old faster.

Despite the joking on Time Machine, I'm no Time Lord.  I can't reverse the clock.  Our lives are a "fixed point in time".  Hootie said it best:

Time, why you punish me? 
Like a wave bashing into the shore 
You wash away my dreams. 
Time, why you walk away? 
Like a friend with somewhere to go 
You left me crying 
Can you teach me about tomorrow 
And all the pain and sorrow 
Running free? 
Cause tomorrow's just another day 
And I don't believe in time ...


Time is wasting 
Time is walking 
You ain't no friend of mine 
I don't know where i'm goin' 
I think I'm out of my mind 
Thinking about time 
And if I die tomorrow, yeah 
Just lay me down in sleep ...


And now, I think I'll have a Pepsi.  Because, screw you, time...